Nekomata and Karl gazed in the shadow of the electric display of greens and blues that surged around the vanished Demon Lord Raccoon - a whirlpool of chaotic energy swirled before them, crackling and humming with a low growl. The brilliant lightshow reached higher and higher, like living tendrils, entrancing them with its kaleidoscope of unholy power.
“Word is you lucked into a X-T79 atomic warship with frontal cannon and quad subspace engines” Neko tried to alleviate the tension suffusing the room.
Karl merely scowled in response, “Dual subspace engines.”
“Still not a bad ship to have, right?” Neko inwardly groaned; why did he always have to one up everyone? It was like an involuntary reflex. “Bet everyone's jealous you have one of those. How was flying it?”
Karl stared intently at his knitted mittens. His words were hushed, “Difficult.”
A spark of inspiration lit inside Neko, people liked showing off their nice stuff, he sure had, “We could take it for a spin sometime if you're up for it, maybe bring Steven along?”
All around them lay the battered remains of broken machinery. Karl's eyes roamed over the ruins before settling back on Neko as he spoke, “Not likely.”
Neko cursed himself silently. Was Karl always such a difficult person to socialize with? He thought back over their history - Karl's outbursts in raid chat, his cognitive dissidence where he refused to accept responsibility for his own mistakes, and his rants every time they wiped about how everyone else was the problem. He'd even ragequit the guild a few times, always back a few days later saying he would quit for good if things didn't change.
Yes, Neko thought. He was always difficult, but not quite like this.
"I heard you got geared up with full Legendary gear, welcome to the club" he offered somewhat uneasily. His gaze drifted to Karl's getup - a sword hilt missing a blade, knitted mittens instead of gloves or gauntlets or literally anything else, a tattered cloth cuirass and a panda cap just barely keeping its ears up.
The only remotely decent thing about his gear were his Legendary socks - solid stats but still, what kind of psychopath wore just socks?
"You look ridiculous." The words slipped out before he could stop them. His time fishing with the old man had rubbed off on him, that guy was too so blunt. If the old man were here, he'd probably say something like 'If I fished you up, I'd throw ya back in and feel sorry for the lake'.
Karl turned his gaze to Neko in confusion. “Really? You're playing as a cat.”
Neko shrugged, "Fair enough." Wearing outrageous outfits was almost a badge of honor for high tier players, the further they'd go for any stat-bumps the more impressive. By that standard Karl was a beacon of pride.
The area was packed on one side and nearly empty on the other, most of Karl's devoted horde keeping their distance from him and Neko.
"Is that really him?" One of the players asked with awe.
"It sure is! Nekomata," a healer hissed, "I told you him and the Boss were friends!"
"Blessed Royal Rascal, I never dreamed I'd be standing with Nekomata – the Hidden Dragon – and the Boss at the same time," an Earth Shaper tank shouted in barely a whisper.
Neko wasn't thrilled about his new nickname: The Hidden Dragon. Sure, he'd been on a little virtual fishing vacation over the past few weeks, but that was mostly in-game. Everyone was acting like he had actually gone into seclusion or something. Like he was some legendary secret warrior returning to help out in times of crisis
The only ones in Karl's crew who had the courage to stand beside the pair were the two sub-officers, BigBadBrenda on one side, StopBleedingDumDum on the other. Neko eyes them carefully, 3k tank rating and 2.9k healer rating respectively, they were in that range between not bad and pretty damn good.
He scanned everyone else in the group - all of them had an average rating of around 2.8k, no one below 2.7k - Karl had managed to find some real gems.
"Where'd you find all these guys?" Neko inquired, genuinely surprised and impressed with the quality of the team.
Kar shrugged, "They found me."
Karl's rating was hidden from the public eye — all anyone who looked into his profile saw was 'Taco Knights Officer'. A perk their guild leader Steven must have chosen to keep other guilds from keeping tabs on how powerful they were, likely for Karl in particular now that Neko thought about it.
Of course, it didn't fool fellow Taco Knight officers like Neko – he could tell that Karl's rating was under 1k. That wasn't great; there had even been a viral video of someone controlling their avatar with just the random motions of a goldfish - earning them a 1.1k rating.
"Where's your party at?" Karl questioned, like he could feel Neko scrutinizing his ranking and silently judging him. Which again, was fair, because that was exactly what was happening.
"He's busy fishing, anyways..." Neko looked back to the whirling green swirl, it seemed like whatever change it was going through was about to finish.
The tendrils of energy clung to the blocks like serpents, attempting to flee but were irresistibly drawn back. The air rumbled with a low thunder of their screeching, like the howl of the wind and crash of waves. Velezteristixis, the Raccoon Lord, sat at the center surrounded by pulsating miasma of energy, which absorbed all the green within seconds, until all traces of the emerald light had been absorbed into him.
"Magus..." The raccoon opened its eyes to regard Karl, revealing emerald depths, lit with arcane power, "Do you know what it's like to be eaten alive from within?" the creature asked. "From the soul out?"
"Unpleasant?" Karl guess, and Neko figured he wasn't wrong, didn't mean he needed to say it though.
Neko saw this was clearly a RP boss, so maybe they could talk their way out of an unnecessary fight. Karl clearly already had negative rep though, so he stepped forward
"I'm Nekomata, first officer of the Taco Knights. You probably already know Karl here. He's our third officer." Neko gestured to his companion before continuing, "Seems like we got off on the wrong foot... Lord?" He glanced at the raccoon expectantly.
"Lord Velezteristixis," the raccoon replied curtly.
"Right, nice to meet you, Lord Velezteristixis." Neko bowed politely, trusting that someone calling themselves a Lord would appreciate it. "Any chance we could open up a dialogue here?"
The raccoon blinked in surprise that Neko had pronounced his name correctly. "I was open to negotiations," The raccoon began slowly, "but I assumed by how your colleague dropped a ship on me, you weren't interested in talking." Lord Velezteristixis deadpanned.
Taking a step back, Neko looked between Karl and Velezteristixis in disbelief. Whispering under his breath, Nekomata asked incredulously: "You hit him with your ship?"
Karl looked down, muttering something about knitted mittens.
"And his noodle," added the raccoon pointedly.
Neko raised an eyebrow at Karl who shrugged unapologetically in response. "Is that code for something?" Nekomata asked with a bit of morbid curiosity in his voice as he glared at Karl. When Karl wouldn't look him in the eye Neko assumed the worst. "You're sick, man."
"Anything we could do to mend this bridge?" Neko asked.
Lord Velezteristixis stood before the raid, his beady eyes glinting with malice. He cackled maniacally as he went on a rant about how nothing we could do would stop him and his wrath. "You pitiful mortals can beg, plead for your lives, but it will all be for naught!" he boomed, reveling in our terror. "Your end will come and it will be torture. You will feel-"
Neko had heard enough of the Raccoon lord's vile threats. "Yeah, that's enough," he cut the demon lord off sharply. "We're done stalling."
Lord Velezteristixis paused in surprise, his paws still hanging in the air mid-rant. "What?" he sputtered indignantly.
Neko's grin filled the war-torn battlefield. Lord Velezteristixis's steely gaze swept over the scene--Lord OhZone and his knights of honor had snuck up on one side, Coop and her raccoon battalion on the other.
Karl finished readying himself for battle, having just tied his shirt into a knotted crop top and affixed a pool noodle to the handle of his sword before fishing out his legendary sandals from a nearby hole. His mocking words echoed through the air. "What? First time getting tricked by a bunch of Taco Knights?"