The purple mana light filled the clearing, its electrical hum bringing to life a writhing vortex of energy. Panic seized the goblins, orcs and ogres as they ran around desperately trying to contain it, but their feet barely kept up with its furious onslaught. The air thickened with mana, threatening all in its path, while the ground quaked with an ominous power. Stability seemed impossible as the teleporter glowed brighter by the second.

The goblin's high pitched calls echoed through the metallic chamber, their voices shaking with fear. A grizzled orc snarled at them, his eyes burning with fury. "Back to work, you cowards! If we let a little death and destruction stop us, we'd never get anything done!"

But even he could not ignore the chaos all around them, machinery groaned and twisted, bits and pieces scattering into the swirling chaos. Lightning bolts crackled in the air, singeing anyone foolish enough to come close, and it was surrounded by fools.

An ogre whispered in disbelief, her trembling hand clutching at her chest. "This is madness. Why have we done--"

Before she could finish, a blinding purple light flashed and an explosion rocked the clearing. The voices of the gods themselves couldn't drown out the screams of the injured.

A few yards away, the summoning engineer's apprentice yanked levers, tugged at the electrical wires, and fiddled with the control console for the summoning device. He even kicked the thing a few times in hopes that would help. It did not.

With sweat dripping down his face, he pulled out an ancient tome with brittle pages and a dark stone cover. The title -- written in a contorted alien script -- roughly translated to 'Cross Dimensional Summoning for Dummies'.

Fear surged through his veins with each passing second, he desperately tried to mend the fabric of space-time before he rended another breach in reality, his boss had been livid the last time. He could hear the old crusty orc now, "I leave for 5 minutes to assault a X-T79 atomic warship with frontal cannon and duel subspace engines, and you irreparably separate space and time!"

Out of options, the summoning engineer ripped apart the control panel with his bare hands. His robes were singed from a stray blast: his trembling fingers clumsily searched for the crystal, only to discover it had been replaced with a shiny pebble - obviously the work of the raccoons.

He witched out the pebble with a crystal as quickly as his sweaty palms would allow, but it was too late. The teleporter was growing more and more dangerous by the second. It was only a matter of time before everything exploded into oblivion and at best he'd get another stern talking to about being careful when punching holes through the fabric of reality.

The maelstrom of energy waned, held in motion by a greater force, sickly green tendrils wormed though the restrained power. Terrified, the goblins shuffled slowly backwards from the machine.

The orc wasn't having it. "Get back here!" he shouted, his fists clenched in determination. "Or I will gut you all one by-"

A green lash of energy struck him down dead as the goblins fled in terror. The mass of energy grew tighter, spinning faster and faster until it shot out twisted pieces of machinery and red and green flames. The machine roared like a living thing as pebbles and small debris lifted from the ground. The summoner had to hold onto the console to keep from losing his feet.

The orcs and goblins watched in terrified awe as a searing rush of energy poured out from the portal, engulfing the area in a clash of purple and green. A thunderous crack ripped through the ground followed by a clanking of metal which announced the arrival of the massive ogre commander; tall, muscular and wild hair blowing in the wind. The portal winked out of existence and chaotic noise was replaced with deafening silence.

The minions watched in awe as the commander stood in all his glory. His presence alone commanded respect. None dared utter a word, the silence holding until the ogre commander fell forward onto his face, lifeless.

Behind the corpse of the hulking ogre, a portly raccoon surveyed the carnage of the summoning ritual. He gave his fur a few irritated brushes to free himself from dust and debris.

"Interdimensional travel is hell on the fur." he muttered to himself.

The fat raccoon let out a guttural growl as its eyes scanned the crowd of minions before it. "Ah, so here are the poor pawns of my summoning. I am Demon Lord Velezteristixis," it rumbled, its voice echoing in the chamber, "and by power of the Seventeen Hells you all answer to me now."

"Oh Lord Vellangststatic."

A goblin laughed, "He said his name was Velezterghist ya idiot."

A violent argument ensued between them.

"he clearly said Velleyexorcist."

"We should just call it Vel."

"No, Lex!"

"You knew I was gonna name my son lex you bastard!"

"Wait, were trying to summon a demon raccoon? No one tells me anything."

Velezteristixis paid no mind as the minions argued amongst themselves, their petty concerns beneath him. He remained intent on his task, etching a complex pattern into the hard stone floor. One of the orcs stepped closer, straining to see what Velezteristixis was creating, when an ethereal tendril shot from the design and seized the orc. With a sickly green glow, it slowly began to dissolve the hapless creature from the inside out, its limbs vanishing one by one until nothing but a pile of dust and scorched clothing remained.

The minions around Velezteristixis carved circle of power took a collective step back, their eyes bulging with dismay. He rolled on the ground in hysterics, bellowing "What was he thinking?! 'Oh wow, a magical circle - looks fun!' and then *BOOM*!" Cackling maniacally, he wiped tears of crazed laughter from his reddening face. The same scene happened nearly every time he got summoned, and it just got funnier every time.

The summoner's apprentice was filled with dread. He had horribly failed - not only had he been unable to muster the army, but somehow killed ogre Commander Grokka the Unstoppable, and summoned a demon lord raccoon in his place. His master would return from dealing with the X-T79 atomic warship with frontal cannon and duel subspace engines any second now.

The apprentice looked up and saw the ship seconds away from crashing into them and the ritual. "Lord Velezteristixis!" he screamed, pointing an accusatory finger at the approaching vessel.

The fuzzy raccoon demon lord stopped rolling around, surprised someone had actually gotten his name right. He locked eyes with the orc, his expression suddenly serious. "Yes?" He followed the orc's finger up to where the ship hung like a harbinger of doom.

"Oh. Is that a T-79 atomic warship with frontal cannon and -

The ship slammed into the mystical rune with a brilliant emerald halo of energy, sending trees flying in all directions and rendering the terrain unrecognizable. The ship was reduced to scrap metal and rubble, with a thunderous roar and cacophony of screeches filling the air as pieces of metal, wood, and dirt flew everywhere. The massive collision echoed like thunder.