Space.
The void of the universe shackled my limbs and the uselessness of breathing immediately struck me. I didn’t feel like dying. Not from that anyway.
There were stars up there too. I could see them, as brightly as I had from my own home and for a moment, I wondered how I had arrived here. So far away. How I ended up with nothing in a place like this. Most of all, how could I not see anything? Was I alone?
Only then, my legs batted in the nothingness and my arms managed to turn me around. All around. And behind me, horror displayed.
Fire and dust. Dust and cinders. Imperfect circles disappearing with a slowness that would have taken much, much more time initially. But I could see them. Dying. All of them. They couldn’t be vanishing at the same time. What would it mean for us?
Their voices shouted in my ears as the seconds passed, reaching me from my bubble, poking through it, piercing the shell inside and out to cry out their despair. They screamed from the pain of being stretched and torn and destroyed. And I could only watch, powerlessly, as all the pillars that supported my life fell away with them.
Why was I submerged by so many emotions? Why was I entitled by their fate? When all of this had been in my head from the start but was it still there now? The questions kept rising but the answers were burning with all that was left. What remained was the lump inside my belly, the weight of it enhancing the emotions all together. I had to do something for this. Could I be the one to change it? Could my capacities even be required? But who was I? A simple human with a generous form, a man with intelligence and strength and stealthiness. This couldn’t even start to be useful. This was for the gods. For the entities above. For the people magically strong enough to reverse the course of the abandonment. How could I even think I was capable?
Could anyone be capable?
Was this fate?
Was this happening? Or had it happened?
Was there anything to do about it?
Or were we doomed?
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Once the nightmare faded, my body straightened itself and the deep breath I had to take betrayed the fear that beat along my heart. Within seconds, the details blurred and only the annoying feeling remained. Within minutes, I exhaled and forgot everything about it.
My reality floated back into my consciousness as I remembered the event the Maors had planned for the day, and as I checked around, seeing Kâl had disappeared, I figured it had already started. The dream must have shackled my members onto the mattress and imprisoned my mind long enough so I would have missed the call of the ritual. Or was I even invited?
Krolea had hoped I would come the night before as I recalled our discussion. They highly envisioned our passage, as they were sure this moment would help both our species comprehend the other. And since we were probably bound to this place for another ten years, I imagined knowing them a little better wouldn’t do any harm. Although the strength of the burden that startled us once we had stepped into Maorat hadn’t found realization yet. Thinking about being locked in here for ten years was surreal. And the acknowledgment would probably come farther. Right now, we still had hope.
After I put my clothes back on, I followed the usual path, traversing the different holes leading to the other cavities. Until I reached the first room we had entered once we had set foot here, and noticed almost nobody was there. Only Shay-In remained, grabbing goblets and the remnants of cutlery between their long and large hands. “Human,” they said once they realized my presence. Their visage was paler than usual, and the fact that I could see the difference was perturbing to say the least. “Should you want to attend the ritual, the way is through there,” they added, lifting their arms above and showing the entrance while stretching their fingers.
“Shouldn’t you?” I asked, already marching in the direction they pointed, but not leaving their gaze. They seemed hurt. Upset. Not that I had seen this expression on a regular basis so I would totally recognize it. But their closed mouth, slightly downward, their dropping lids and arching brows. “From what I have heard, it is an important event.”
“It is,” they answered, their voice low and pained. My own brows reached for each other.
“Will you escort me?” Shay-In had been complicit with the Protector from the beginning, but Hei-Tria had engineered a cruel plan for Kâl and I to fall into. Was this ritual directly linked with our presence here too?
“I might. In a few minutes.”
“What is the ritual about?” I decided to interrogate them, suddenly seeking another approach on the matter. If there were issues among them, it would be interesting to be aware. And maybe use them.
Shay-In entered another room where they stored the dirty dishes and plates. Inside a tank filled with water, they dropped whatever they had in their hands and turned around to face me. “The ritual drains the energy from all the beings. Even the ground we step on every day.” The cryptic words left me hanging. “I do not possess the energy it requires.”
“Is it dangerous?”
“No, human. It is simply demanding.” Something else was wrong. Only they made it very clear they didn’t want to elaborate on the subject. But I was too curious. Too implicated.
“Does it involve your goddess?”
“Yes.”
“And Fryor?”
“Most certainly.”
“Then why are you not there with the others?” They stayed silent, their glare drifting to the furniture inside the room, which was almost completely in the dark, except for the insects buzzing at the threshold. They started marching outside and I had to step away quickly so they wouldn’t shove me out themselves.
They exhaled an annoyed sigh. “Other reasons that do not concern you.”
“Are you not devoted to going back to your planet?” I pushed intentionally. I wasn’t sure what would come out of this discussion, but I needed to know what was really going on.
“This has nothing to do with my devotion, human.” They claimed, black pearls riveted on me. This close, they seemed even taller than they already were. I gulped, but remained still. Then, they garnered their senses and drove a hand over their face. “I feel ashamed.”
My only response was the frowning of my brows. They rested their hands on the table in front of them and took respite into shoving a little weight through the touch. “I was not aware of their plan.” Krolea and Hei-Tria. “They knew I would not agree to it and decided to blind me to their scheme. Despite being our Protector’s closest advisor. I was pained. From their shenanigans and from the sight of your poor little souls trapped inside.”
I stayed quiet, their shame resonating with the ball of anger dormant inside my belly. “Maors are a pacifist species. I was deeply hurt to realize how down my fellows had fallen.”
They had used the word desperate. And hopeless. Having Shay-In twisting their words was a particularly strange conversation. They had been secluded, thrown out, and maliciously uncared for, but they were acting and thinking like we, humans, still didn’t deserve this. “They made a choice,” I heard myself defending them. “You had no choice for a very long time.”
“Yet, do you believe we would feel splendid knowing our release implied crushing the fate of two innocent people?”
“I have come to understand both parties,” I replied, avoiding their surprised eyes. “But I am still angry.”
“Angry, you should feel.” They moved their heads to where the ritual was elevated. “If they haven’t told you already, I am sorry for what we have done.”
The guilt I had started to experience in the library, after what Hei-Tria explained, only rose and heightened in growth. They were so desperate to find a solution, even among them, they were not delighted with the plans. And to realize Shay-In wouldn’t have wasted our lives even to save their own, it moved something in my very core. They couldn’t share my glance from the shame they were submerged with. “They haven’t. But you don’t need to. We’ll find a solution for all of us.” These were words Kâl could have said. Yet, I was saying them.
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The Maor bobbed their head and finally straightened their spine, crossing their fingers before turning to face me completely. “I will accompany you now.”
And with their gigantic stature, they led the way.
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They were all gathered around a particular set of stones that looked strangely carved, piled up, until they reached our height, Kâl and I. She was waiting, a bit behind from the rest of them, within the shadows, her usual playground. She looked around her familiar shade, missing her hood and device over her throat, her mask covering most of her face. I could still see her despite lacking all these things.
But when her eyes landed on mine, even if her expression never faltered and I could still see her resentment from our fight the night before, I could recognize the person I had learnt to know, the glimpse of Kâl she accepted to share.
They hadn’t really started yet, as I saw them organize and place artifacts around, some jewels and other trinkets unknown. They also gathered around the statue and waited for the Protector to say anything. Their eyes glinted with a new hope, their fingers uncontrollably fidgeting over their bodies, clothes and necklaces, the excitement of all this barely contained. Was this ritual just a celebration or were they about to change the entire fate of Maorat?
I approached Kâl and stayed close to her, almost incapable of returning her gaze, undecipherable nonetheless. She only nodded once, kept her arms crossed over her chest and gave back her attention to the main attraction.
Hei-Tria had his eyes glued onto his Protector and rubbed their long fingers against each other. Krolea stepped back from the statue in the middle and placed their hands over their head in complete silence.
On the floor, illuminated by the buzzing insects were offerings. Weapons, artifacts and jewels I couldn’t really recognize from where I was standing, magically lifted above the ground, circling the rocks in the center. The grass moved with the wind, the Maors aligned on each side and their Protector at the end, in front of a large stone panel with Maor’s writings carved on it. Despite understanding them talking – not that I had any idea how still – their language in written was incomprehensible.
After a few silent beats, they used their throat voices and started humming, the sound trembling our own rib cage from the power it emitted.
The objects around the statue glowed and lifted even higher and I noticed their identity; the dagger we had brought innocently, a crown so thin only the light it shined permitted to acknowledge the edges, a braid of white hair garnished with colorful dried leaves, white and gold pearls and petals, and the fourth one was the amber stone.
Either they had needed the dagger and the gem for this or the ritual was based over the objects close to the person they were venerating. Krolea had said we were about to understand them better. So, I stayed quiet. And watched.
Kâl had closed her eyes during their singing and I switched on my feet from impatience. After a few minutes, their voices rose and the stones from the statue started to carve themselves. The dust fell on the ground and disappeared into thin air as the seconds passed. The edges clarified themselves, the angles sharpened and after multiple minutes the stones had carved a lady. I figured it was Lumnis.
The humming stopped eventually, fading away into the endless night and Krolea’s voice surged. “This day is to be remembered.”
They all bowed their heads before fixating over Lumnis’ statue. “We have finally been blessed with hope and possibility.” The ball of anger moved hearing the words but I kept my calm, clenching my teeth. “Our voices have been heard, our complaints have been answered, our birth right about to be rendered.”
Kâl sighed as she could not understand a word. “Want me to translate for you?” I dared ask. She moved her head toward me and looked strangely straight into my eyes for a long moment. But she shook her head. “No need.”
“We have yet to understand the conditions of this grace, but the Door is found and behind, is an Orulis.”
The Maors exhaled a relieved breath and some placed their hands over their hearts. Hei-Tria had switched positions and had walked closer to their Protector. Shay-In was nowhere in sight since he had escorted me. “We have never been closer to our delivery than this moment and we have two humans to thank.”
They stretched their hands toward us and the Maors’ attention turned our way slowly. They had not plastered a smile. Faces unreadable, as always. Inside, feelings were clashing against each other, one wanting to take as much place as possible. Kâl hadn’t twitched and the Maors stayed very still, as I realized they were waiting for us. To do something, apparently. “Please, join me. I’ll explain.” Krolea added.
We slowly obeyed, carefully walking next to the shrine and the other Maors around, reaching the Protector in a few hesitant steps. “This ritual is special in many ways,” they showed us where to stand and approached the different trinkets levitating around the statue. “It is, evidently, a love call for our dear Lumnis, tall and proud among us.” They pointed to the stone silhouette in the middle. “But with the artifact you two have brought to us, the whole ceremony became much more.”
I silently snorted for them not to hear but Kâl had. “Be quiet,” she ordered. And my pride fell back inside the dark corner of my heart.
Their magic imbued the place in a suffocating way. I wasn’t used to this much power in such a confined space and as I was breathing deeper and deeper each second, they started agitating their hands all around the altar. The buzzing light fuzzed even more and the reflections on the stone walls pierced through my retina. Krolea’s voice echoed strongly. “The weapon, the fiber, the crown and the gem. Each one of these items are most certainly related to our deity, thus her presence here is undeniable. Inside our souls, we resonate with her mighty power and let her sinister will engulf our pores. Let it pass through.”
The Maors repeated the last sentence and the energy growing from inside the earth visibly emerged, channeling from the ground to the top of their heads and onto the ceiling, the latter resembling a night sky full of stars even more. The Protector continued answering our unsaid questions. “This will not bring her back. This will not summon her body. It will send a message, from our den to the heavens, that Maors have regained hope. It will give us the energy to pursue our investigation. Maybe, it will even guide us toward the solution we longed to discover.”
The white power remained, inexplicably dense and palpable, and it felt like my lungs were shutting down. Kâl had brought her fingers to my wrist and even her touch was so light. “What is happening to you?” she asked.
My breathing was distraught and my knees buckled once, my body slumping over hers. I fought back with the last thread of force that persisted to avoid crushing her under my weight. “What is it?” she insisted, pushing hard for my body to stay up.
“The magic…” I stuttered. Until Shay-In appeared and with one hand managed to drag me to the nearest seat. Kâl followed. “It’s too…”
“Draining,” the Maor finished my sentence, as their previous words floated back into my memories. The ritual couldn’t drain my magic since I was deprived of it. It was fueled by my energy. My essence. “How are you feeling?” they demanded and it took me a second to understand they were speaking to Kâl. My mouth opened and closed, and in my head, I could hear myself speak but I wasn’t the one controlling anything.
She nodded after my translation and spoke, “I feel… weird. But fine.”
Shay-In nodded and stayed close, one finger near my throat as their attention switched to Krolea’s voice. “Shall Lumnis bless us with a visit, she will be aware of where we stand. Waiting.”
The golden gem shined even brighter and I had to close my eyes because of the strength of the whole event on my body and mind. Sweat had started dripping from my chin and forehead, and the contact of both Kâl and Shay-in over my neck and hand was almost indiscernible. Like I was fainting, for the magic was making my whole being dizzy.
Under closed lids, the light was not golden anymore but blue. And then it switched to other colors. Red, green, gold, blue. Red, blue, green. Gold. White. The flashes pierced through like I had my eyes open all along. Even with my palms crushing the latter, the colors wouldn’t go away, couldn’t stop.
“Nolis,” someone said. The voice had resonated far away, like in the back of my mind. While I shook my head, the fingers pinched my shoulders and a strangled scream evacuated my throat before my lids opened abruptly and the last color that remained was blue.
The blue of Krolea’s gown, standing tall in front of my sitting body. I couldn’t breathe more yet my lungs were hurting from the lack of air. “Human?” The Protector said and I realized I had drawn all the attention since the Maors were not around the statue anymore. They were all watching above the other’s shoulders, looking curious toward myself.
“He shouldn’t have come,” one of them admitted, shaking his head.
Another one replied, “they aren’t built for this kind of magic.”
“He could have died,” a third explained. Krolea nodded and with the remnants of my strength to keep my eyes open, I could see a glimpse of remorse in his gaze.
“It has been a long time since the last ritual,” he confessed, “we gathered much more energy than usual.”
Shay-In stood protectively behind the chair. “This wouldn’t have happened if—”
“Please, Shan. Not here.” The leader intervened with no possible arguments. The rest of the group murmured and argued among themselves, whether to continue or stop. And I wondered why the question was even asked. I was nothing to them. We had been nothing but pawns from the beginning, were they feeling guilty enough to actually imagine canceling this spiritual and important moment because of my vulnerability?
“We need to proceed,” Hei-Tria interrupted with a hand over Krolea’s shoulders, but when I thought to find malice and indifference in his stare, I found myself surprised to uncover pity. And compassion? “He can attend from a distance that wouldn’t put him in so much danger.”
“It is almost complete,” Krolea resumed for my sake. “Could you hold on long enough for us to terminate?”
My ragged breathing was already finding back a comfortable pace. Although I wondered if the crushing feeling would come back once the ritual would recommence, I couldn’t bring myself to rob this moment from them. I only nodded, and stayed on the chair, as one would grab the nearest buoy while being tormented inside unsafe waters.
They all gathered back around Lumnis and regained their postures. “You don’t have to stay here, human.” Shay-In spoke behind my back, and with one quick glance, I could see the resentment in his eyes. The shearing feeling of wanting to be a part of the ritual but being soiled of its purpose. Because of how it had been made possible.
“I’m alright,” was all I answered as I led my attention to the rest of the ceremony. Alright, in more ways than one.