“Ɲolis! Nolis, I demand you stop right here! Listen to me!” Hidram’s voice kept resonating around the house, but I stayed focused on my way out. I needed the fresh air, the quiet, the warmth of the outside. “I’m your father, by Samay, look at me!”

“You are everything but my father, Hidram. I can’t continue like this. I had enough.” I crossed the remaining steps away from the front door and left, without an ounce of regrets. Only rage and sadness drifted in my flooding blood.

“Do not say hideous things like this to me, Nolis. I’ve raised you, I’ve provided a shelter when I could have let you perish in that ruin. Your mother…”

“I am going to say it once, but I beg you, don’t mention her.” We stood in the middle of the yard right behind the cottage, both of our breaths ragged.

“What happened to her was horrifying,” he continued. “And, believe me, it ravaged my loving heart.”

“Don’t you dare say that atrocity forbade you from loving again.” I intervened.

“I won’t. What I am trying to explain is…” I waited. He opened and closed his mouth several times and I threw my hands and head in the air when it began to be too painful to watch. “You have to understand,” Hidram claimed. “It’s not like I have tremendous options here!”

“I’m sure there were better options than this.”

“We are broke, Nolis. We need the money to live! To survive!”

“And I would have wanted a life like any other!”

His stare fell on the ground and he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. I proceeded. “Is that marking on my back really what you say it is? How come I don’t have any magic despite it? Where did you find me, exactly, and why was I abandoned? Why must I protect that tattoo from anybody’s eyes? Explain it to me, damn it!”

“I can’t!”

“WHY?”

His watery eyes fell on mine for a second. He searched for his words, carefully. But, like before, they were deceiving. “You’ll understand later that it was not mine to tell.”

Tears filled my own, my lids forced to close and let the drops fall. The void reached my insides again and that little thread of hope vanished with me into the forest.

The memory veiled my surroundings before fading away. We sprinted through nature, recollecting the passage we had taken when we were dragged into their territory, the directions enlightening themselves as I remembered the turns and routes.

Kâl was close behind, but wasn’t as muscular as I was and fatigued quicker than I did. Their place was far, much far, and we had multiple meters to traverse. I didn't know how much time we spent running but it wasn’t fast enough. I knew what I was about to find there, and despite everything that I thought, that I had said, if Hidram was there…

After a tremendous amount of time, we finally cleared most of the travel and I recognized the passage to the back of our yard, where one of the greatest fights with my father happened. This tattoo, this was my curse from the very beginning. And a small part of me felt relief it was now slashed with a terrible wound that didn’t even heal properly.

The combat with the Jalyon had reopened the cut and the pain had become a constant state through every second passing. My pace slowed and I stayed squatted into the darkness, Kâl trotting right beside.

My eyes left her sight to scan the area. My heart and my breathing were so loud in my own ears, that I didn’t notice the movements in front of us right away. Three of them were outside, guarding the front and the back door, and at least five of them were in. Probably more. The windows displayed a disastrous picture: the house had been torn apart.

I swore and launched forward, but Kâl moved her palm onto my chest, her stare worth all the words. “You can’t possibly think you can take them all down.” she added anyway.

“We just wait here, hoping they leave?” Her mouth twitched and her teeth bit the inside of her cheek. I could almost see the plan forming in her head through her irises. But I was impatient. And I needed no plan. “I’m going in. Whether you follow me or not is of no importance.”

I could feel her fear and I knew where it drew its source. How the fight had finished. What had occurred the hours after. What she had suffered. I was in another state. I needed to be inside, see what they had done to the place. Find Hidram. My brain wasn’t functioning how it should for her and my empathy was terribly lacking. “This won’t be so simple.” She explained.

“For someone with great trust in her capacities, you do seem distraught. What happened to the Shadow? Where is that woman who told me not to mourn the loss of a Jalyon?”

“Don’t you dare talk to me like—” she started.

“Do whatever you want. I’ll kill them either way.”

Her eyes projected her fury, could it have been my own reflection on hers. I wanted them gone, I wanted their blood spread on the wooden floor, I wanted vengeance. I got out of our hiding place, and ran towards them with no fear.

Even if I recollected none of my weapons, I used my fists and my whole body as one. Noses broke, bones cracked, screams filled the atmosphere but there was no air to echo them. I punched again and again and again, until their faces were unrecognizable. Until the light faded from their souls. Until my fists were bloodied. Until I was satisfied.

Two Jalyons rushed outside and froze for a second, their comrades’ bodies so crooked, one of them gagged. They could see it, in my eyes, that their fate was similar to the one lying dead on the ground. I had zeroed on one thing and it was getting them out of my house, see if Hidram was there, and leave this town for good. After all that they did, after all that I did. I had enough.

Red light shone in their irises and I was breathing like a damn animal. My shoulders squared, my teeth clenched, I waited for them to move forward, to test me, to fight me. Whatever they wanted to throw at me, I was ready to receive. But they stared, wondering what was the best move to make. They knew their end was here and there if they tempted anything, and these few seconds of thinking annihilated any chance of survival. Kâl jumped and stabbed with infinite precision, discretion and neatness. She had contoured them all, from behind the cottage, and had slithered her way between them. Where I was the brutal force, she was meticulous. Where I destroyed, she silenced. And when her eyes fell upon mine, I sensed she took no pleasure murdering them anymore.

She was hurt, by my words and by the Jalyons physically. Inside, I felt disgusting, only my need for all of this to end had been greater than the rest. Besides, I had only known her for a couple days. And she was the Shadow. I couldn’t believe she would hold grudges. But as my breath found its usual pace, I could see the burn inside her stare. “You’ve killed more of them in one night than in months of premeditation,” I spoke, not even sure as to why.

She frowned her nose. “And I should thank you?”

“I don’t know. Do you want to?”

“Prick.”

“I guess we’re done now.”

She stepped forward. “I’ll be done once Vishan’s head will hang below my fingers.”

“You don’t need me for that.” I cut the distance between us a bit more. She had raging fuel under her skin, and we were both covered in blood. The bodies on the floor, the smell, everything was becoming too much, and I needed to breathe, to stop, to recover mentally and physically without feeling traced every second.

“I might.” She replied, calmly.

“No, I won’t help you. I need to go inside, pack a bag and get the hell out of this place.”

She smirked. “With what?”

That, I didn’t think of it yet.

I could always steal a motorcycle from some people in the city, or any vehicle that would do the trick. But I could lose precious minutes waiting to find the right opportunity. She walked the last step and looked at me with her pretty eyes. “I know someone.”

“Of course you do.”

“They could provide. I’ll stay low for a few weeks and come back when they least expect it.”

“What about me?”

A glint of amusement shimmered in her pupils. “Hopefully we’ll find civilizations while driving.”

She said it with a shrug of her shoulders but that was nearly impossible. We had lost so many cities and villages in the vicinity over the years, the last one we had contact with less than five years ago was over three hundred miles away. But what other options did I have? Die at the hand of the Jalyons that would probably take over Kendara in a matter of days? Becoming a menace, someone secluded, forbidden, banished from all areas and opportunities? Continuing my mercenary career being the Weapon to someone else? Or end my pitiful life while trying something new?

The rest of the Jalyons witnessed from inside the house and decided to run for their lives, and probably report back to their leader what had happened. My body was still trembling from the adrenaline when I marched through the door, passing in front of Kâl without another glance and observing the devastation my home had become.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

All of it had been turned upside down, ravaged, destroyed. Nothing was in its place and the thousands of papers Hidram had stored away were scattered all over the floor, some of them ripped, some painted with blood. It was when I followed the trails that I noticed a foot behind the panels sectioning the kitchen from the living room, and the moans of agony coming from there.

I walked on the papers, the splinters, the wrecked furniture, and could hear Kâl following. Once I pushed the panel down, Hidram appeared, laying in a pool of blood, horribly still.

I stood. Utterly immobile. His face had been punched enough that it was hard to recognize him. All of his clothes were red from all the cuts he endured. His knees were broken, one of his legs twisted the other way. He had suffered a lot, they did not spare him, knowing he was not built the way I was. The fact that he had not already died was close to a miracle. “Son?”

His voice was raspy, his lungs desperately needing all the air imaginable. He winced from the pain talking inflicted. “Son, I am so sorry…” he continued.

His words floated inside one ear and exited the other. It was painful enough to see him like this, even after everything. In a fleeting moment of sensitivity, I imagined his body and soul fighting death at every corner, only to be able to speak to me one final time. “I wanted a better future for you, Nolis… I wanted you to leave this place, it’s doomed. You have… no idea how doomed it is.” my father confessed.

My own words were blocked in the back of my throat. Maybe I was craving for his apologies, after all the years of trouble, all the manipulations. I wanted justice. “You have to… you have to… go…” he said before coughing atrociously.

After kneeling to him, I pushed him to the side so he could spit the blood, but he screamed from the suffering he couldn’t bear anymore.

Hidram lifted his fingers and resumed. “You two have to go…,” but again, he choked on his blood, and searched for my hand in abandon. Kâl twitched at his mention of her.

His eyes were fixing me so strangely and powerfully. He didn’t open his mouth another time and looked at me, hoping I would understand everything he didn’t have the energy to say anymore. Until he was looking through me. Until he died.

My fingers closed his lids over his eyes after brief seconds of acknowledging.

He was the thing that could have tied me to this place. He had managed to change my mind numerous times, when I was so convinced he wouldn’t be able to manipulate me into doing his dirty work. When I was covered in bruises and couldn’t let my body properly heal because the missions couldn’t wait. When I had so many injections at a time, my whole arm had become blue. So many times, I had said ‘enough’. And until today, I had continued. For reasons I had forgotten long ago, I was linked with him in this mess, and couldn’t get out of it.

But he was dead.

And I was on my own.

Kâl’s hand found my shoulder after so many seconds in silence and I didn’t really know how to process her sudden touch. Once I stood, her fingers gently stroked the side of my arm as they slid down. And no other words were spoken.

She thought I was sad. Maybe terrified to have lost something so precious than a father, but now, I realized I wasn’t. Rather than guilt, I felt finally safe. He was no danger, but he had brought the danger to me. Had wrecked me, destroyed me.

With Vishan, seeing Hidram distraught and afraid, I wondered what a life without him would have been. I was scared of the unknown forced inside my throat without any say about it, but all the emotions I was supposed to feel after the death of a person so close to family never took place in my heart. Even if I waited. Even with Kâl’s pity stare. I brushed away her touch, and turned around, not another glance to the dead body in the kitchen. “My stuff is at your place,” I cut the silence, my voice lower than usual. She nodded.

“I’ll take care of it. What we need to get out of here has to be paid for. Just meet me behind Ventris’ shop.”

My brows frowned. “This is where we got caught.”

“He’s the one with the quad. No other choice.”

As my eyes closed, a long exhale escaped my lips. “You think he’ll ever be there?”

“It’s worth a try.” She aimed for the door, carefully stepping on the unobstructed areas until she was outside. “I’ll give you a minute.”

“I don’t need it,” I answered harshly. Watching her straight and with fists clenched.

“Of course, you don’t.” And she left.

Leaving me alone with my darkest thoughts and the second heartbeat of the monster inside raging my chest.

Doomed.

All of it.

My house, Kendara, Zelian, the Jalyons, the Kendarians.

Doomed.

Me.

I was doomed. Vowed to administer fear and pain and violence, when I had never asked for such life. I was torn between screaming and crying and for a second, I imagined doing them both, hoping they would eradicate the lump pushing against my lungs and forbidding me to breathe properly.

My eyes fell over places and my brain remembered souvenirs from my childhood, memories I had put aside because of the devastation they held. The good ones, my brain had decided to evince. Maybe they didn’t even exist.

Something crunched over my foot when I reached for the outside and I watched down, falling over a beautiful dagger. This one, I had seen before talking to my father in the dark alley, when he had asked for the final mission that would end us all. I figured having something to defend me before marching to Ventris shop was an intelligent idea, and so I retrieved it, lurched it into my belt, and kissed my home goodbye.

Hoping I would remember the path there.

In a span of a couple of days, all of my foundations crumbled until they were just a pill of ashes under my feet.

The taste of the dust and destruction coated my mouth and all the hope of a better life vanished as I walked down the main street, seeing Halei’s fountain down below, a few miles farther toward the direction I was taking.

I couldn’t care less about covering my face and carefully blend in the shadows when it was still the middle of the night, and besides the group of Luminis gathered around the water, there was absolutely no one out in the city.

The energy had failed me, my body and legs activating and walking in automatic, choosing the right paths as if on auto-pilot, my senses remembering the turns I’ve taken once I followed the Shadow to her stash. Ventris' shop wasn’t too far away from her apartment, but since we had taken different routes to avoid any Jalyons, my brain hadn’t positioned all the pieces of the puzzle to actually know where it stood. I hoped Kâl would eventually find me once I had wandered around and around enough to actually seek for me.

The group had chanted again, other words from the first time I heard and I tried to stay as far away as possible so they wouldn’t talk to me. Glimpses of their songs came to my ear. “Our world is fainting, my friends.”

Silence. And then, another voice. “Chaos can never prevail, Order needs to be reestablished.” They turned around, stretching their arms toward one another. “The end is near. Pray for our repentance. Governor.”

They looked at the sky and I wondered if there was anyone watching. If they saw us, saw this dying planet, looked and didn’t care. What kind of Governor was this? The one waiting and letting millions of people in need to suffer and die. Praying never did any good. We were hungry, dirty, and miserable. And nobody cared.

Their voices fainted as I distanced myself and found the right path to Ventris’ store. Kâl was already there. “Were you followed?” she asked.

“No.”

She nodded, ogled my belt for a second and lifted her eyes back to mine, before gesturing to counter the wall and attain the front door. We stayed low, and entered.

“It’s closed!” A voice shouted from one of the doors on the right side, and I remembered we were lucky most of the sellers had to sleep in the same building as their shop, since having two properties was close to impossible these days. The fact that he wasn’t already sleeping, or had woken up extremely early was a blessing.

Kâl withdrew her hood and talked before I could open my mouth. “You’ll have to make an exception.”

The silence was loud enough to know what Ventris was thinking. He bent his head from the corner of the threshold and frowned, recognizing the Shadow’s clothes but deeply shocked by her real identity. It was all written in his eyes, as he thought of someone stealing the clothes and pretending to be Shadow, or that he was hallucinating, only seeing a man with more feminine features. But then, he stepped in front of us and spoke. “Shadow?”

“Yes,” she answered, with as much patience and cordiality she could engulf her words in. “Remember I said I needed you one last time before?”

He shook his head slowly, bewildered. “No. No, no, no.”

“We need to leave this place.”

“I can imagine!” he screamed between his teeth, watching left and right for intruders. “The Jalyons are not joking. They know about… who you are?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “They figured it out.”

“We don’t have much time,” I intervened, standing right beside the entrance.

“No shit,” Ventris answered, placing his hand over the counter. He scanned our bodies, blood drenched. “I’ve helped you. I’ve done my part.”

Kâl advanced and sighed, our last string of hope fleeting away between our fingers. “With the coins I gave you, you could build yourself anything. You could buy whatever you want.”

“Get to the point, Shadow.”

“Kâl.”

He blinked, and didn’t say a thing but in his stare, his emotions had smoothened. For what reason, I didn’t really know. Their relationship seemed confusing. “We need the quad.”

“If I give it to you, will it be the last time I ever see you again? Will my debt be paid?”

Kâl stayed silent for a few seconds. She had said she would come back when Vishan would least expect it, but she didn’t need Ventris to know about the rest of her mission. And he didn’t seem to care about the Weapon. “Yes,” she finally said.

He turned around slowly, opened a pitiful cabinet where keys were hung and said “Follow me.”

The quad was waiting for us in the back of the shop, hidden in a garage that would lead in the very back of the streets, where no habitations or no other traffic were situated. Only a straight alley, with an enormous hole at the far end, the orange dry dust poking and expanding as far as the eye could see, leading to the borders of Kendara and into the unknown.

Ventris checked the engine one last time, explained that it was charged enough to last three or four days at the most, but warned us of its long period of sitting unused, which might have influenced its functions. “Now go and never come back. I hope it’s better than here.”

“Thanks, Ven,” she answered and they just stared, wondering if they needed to say more, to act more. If this was real goodbyes and if they would be sad not having business with each other again. The Shadow was Ventris’ best income source but it was a dangerous life she was handling. Maybe there was more to it.

After a moment, she jumped in front of the wheel and waited for me to place myself behind. Ventris left the room, closed the door and didn’t look back before turning the lock on.

“Did he owe you something?” I questioned her while grabbing her waist awkwardly.

“Let’s say I didn’t just kill Jalyons. I also saved lives in the shadows.”

And she drove away.