It was already midnight when we've reached the outskirts of the demon's capital city.
Everyone in the army was tried, so I ordered the magicians to set a barrier.
"We are to set camp here tonight to rest for our first assault tomorrow morning."(General)
It's easier to focus if everyone's...well...focused, so I ordered everyone to sleep.
"General Lawrence."
"What is it?"(General Lawrence)
The one reporting to me was the kingdom's magician Lina.
"The Hero has returned."(Lina)
"What!? Where did he even go to anyways!?" (General Lawrence)
The hero has been missing ever since we departed, knowing his attitude, I can only pray.
"Sup."(Hero)
"Where the hell have you been!? Everyone's been searching for you for days!!"(General)
It took us an entire week to reach this place, mostly because of the monsters we've faced which delayed our travel.
"Yeah...about that..."(Hero)
"..."(General)
"..."(Hero)
"..."(General)
"..."(Hero)
"You went to the demon queen's castle, didn't you?"(General)
"Well you guys were too slow so I..."(Hero)
"...went ahead...I guess?"(Hero)
"What the hell is wrong with you!? Do you realize your death could mean the end of humanity!?"(General)
"My entire power recovers every thirty minutes so there's no need to worry about that."(Hero)
"What if they attacked when you've yet to recover!?"(General)
"Hah! I knew you'd ask that!"(Hero)
Suddenly stepping forward, I took a step back.
"W-what?"(General)
"I made sure to hide and rest for thirty minutes every battle I've faced!"(Hero)
With a smug look on his face, he said that as he proudly puffed his chest.
"How many battles have you faced anyways?"(Lina)
"I've beaten every soldier in the castle!"(Hero)
Maybe that wasn't a bad idea after all.
"..."(Hero)
He was still puffing out his chest, it's starting to look dumb you know?
"How strong were they?"(Lina)
"They were cannon fodder!"(Hero)
Proudly saying that as he hit his chest with his fist-
-wait a minute...
"So you rested for thirty minutes each time you've defeated an enemy?"(General)
"I even made sure to hide!"(Hero)
"Even if everyone was cannon fodder?"(Lina)
"Safety is priority!"(Hero)
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
"If you were to fight all of them at once, would it have been dangerous?"(Lina)
"Obviously not! I could've beaten...all of them...at...once..."(Hero)
"..."(Lina)
"..."(General)
"..."(Hero)
"Anyways, what happened to the demon queen?"(Lina)
"That's right! You haven't even mentioned her name!"(General)
"Oh yeah, we had tea together!"(Hero)
"..."(Lina)
"..."(General)
"..."(Hero)
"What?"(General)
"Explain in detail what you did at the castle."(Lina)
"Well, after finally defeating everyone outside, I opened the gates of the castle."(Hero)
"And the demon queen was at the dining hall."(Hero)
"Where'd everyone else go?"(Lina)
"Everyone was stationed outside."(Hero)
"..."(Lina)
"..."(Hero)
"Shouldn't she be in the top floor or something?"(General)
"She was supposed to have dinner at that time so she was at the first floor."(Hero)
Lame!
Looking at the enormous castle, I can only imagine how long it'd take to just have lunch.
"I was thirsty, so I asked for some tea."(Hero)
"What the hell!? You could've been poisoned!"(General)
"Shouldn't you be worrying about the demon queen first?"(Lina)
Asking for tea in enemy territory is just begging to be poisoned.
"Well she gave me bubbling tea with weird colors mixed in."(Hero)
"She actually poisoned it!"(General)
"I'm pretty sure that's a normal thing to give to your enemy."(Lina)
"I still drank it though since I was thirsty."(Hero)
"And you're just begging to be killed!"(General)
"What happened afterwards?"(Lina)
"I told her she sucks at making tea so she told me to come back tomorrow and try it again."(Hero)
"You were supposed to fight each other!!!"(General)
I was pulling my hair, grinding my teeth, and after giving up, I gave the hero a small bag.
"Here."(General)
"What's this?"(Hero)
"Go sleep outside."(General)
"..."(Hero)
"..."(Lina)
"..."(General)
...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Author note-there's no parody tag goddammit
-don't take this series seriously, it's just for fun)