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The Vast Collective Series Books #9-13
Xelan's Verse Entry 5.2 Everything I Wanted

Xelan's Verse Entry 5.2 Everything I Wanted

"Korac, you and Nox skipped ahead to the settlement and fortress established, and I think I'll do the same. If you don't mind, foremother, could you please retrieve journal five hundred and three? The next entry is on page sixty."

I knew what I was doing by asking Silence to read. Asleep in Li mountain for millions of years, she'd missed so much of her people's formation. Even though she'd read the other two Verses, I wanted her to feel a part of this paramount time. The discovery, the exploration, and the woes.

Silence's gray eyes sparkled with every reading. Especially this one.

"Come, my prince, keep your eyes closed."

Korac led me up the exterior staircase to the fortress' highest floor. He assured me Nox and his advisers were buried in plans in the tunnels beneath us. We would not see any interruptions tonight.

Still... "Is this necessary, Korac? What is it you want to show me that requires such—"

"Fun? Excitement? Is there a little danger in it for you?" Korac's voice softened and deepened at the last.

It was his bedroom voice, and although it thrilled me to hear it, it also riddled me with anxiety to hear it outside of our sanctuary. "Korac—"

Heavy wood groaned, interrupting my next caution. My captor said, "My prince, open your eyes."

When I did, my mouth fell open.

I knew Korac had worked every night to design the top floor of the fortress. I didn't know at the time it was with Nox's blessing. But seeing the final product...

I almost asked him to decorate my stronghold.

Slotted with shelving, polished and ornate wood covered three walls, while the fourth stood in a testament to historical design. Glass. And the ceiling too. It complemented the impossible telescope positioned in front of it. Above, diamonds twinkled in the midnight velvet reflecting the carpeted floor. The desk and tables matched the wainscoting padded with leather. I was suddenly inclined to test them with Korac.

I had to swallow before I could ask, "Is this... Is this for me?"

Korac rolled his eyes and teased, "No, I designed it for my other lover with midnight blue Atramentous."

He'd earned the laugh from me while I took everything in, unable to speak further.

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Less confidently, Korac asked, "Will you work here? Will you stay?"

I wanted to say, 'Yes.' To say I wouldn't part us for my responsibility to our species. I wanted to look into my lover's white eyes and lie to him. For him.

"For a time."

Korac kept his back to me, pretending to peruse a collection of encyclopedias. "Not forever?"

I wouldn't let us dissolve like this. Wrapping my arms around him, I buried my face in his peppermint-scented hair. "Please. Let us not dwell on it. I am here. You are here. Enjoy it now."

The way Korac hung his head... Grieving us—

I stayed for another year. Happily.

"Until Nox asked you to create the Sphere," Sagan recounted correctly. "You wanted to build something like the Martyr Complex to feed the Sphere's mechanism, but only you or Nox bled potent enough nanites to fuel it."

Andrew continued the history up from there. "In his Verse, Nox said he didn't want you exploring your own blood. Obviously, he worried about you discovering the Tritan half of your parentage. But I always wondered..."

I gave him permission to keep pushing. "Yes, Andrew?"

"Surely a scientist such as yourself had already studied your own genetics?"

Korac's expression said he'd never thought of it before and was impressed with the young Progeny man for considering it.

Kyle called out, "Right?! You used your blood to create Many Feet II. So, you must've known."

"Of course. How do you think I knew I wasn't Umbra's son? I'd tested our DNA for a match by the time I was twelve. But with technology as limited as it was, I couldn't perform a proper analysis of the anomalies until much later in my life. You're all correct, but it wasn't just the sphere. It was the Cruor Villam. The unexplained visits from Bin. Then came Thailea. I believed Nox had murdered people for the ore."

Silence read the next entry.

Nox turned away and snarled, "I never asked you to appreciate my methods." He whirled and pointed a finger in my face. "But I expect your esteem for acquiring it. I am your brother—"

"And I am not your excuse for murder—"

"I AM YOUR KING!"

I hate the monster my brother has become.

Now was the time. It hurt to leave without saying goodbye to Colita or Korac, but it was the only way to ensure even they would not follow me.

The Icarean Prerogative.

Save the race.

It was all that mattered now.

Rayne...

The tiny version of you sidles closer and wraps her chubby arms around my neck. More grateful than you can know, I grip you tight, but when my eyes open, I find the preteen version of you in tears. You confess on a sob, "I hate it. I hate it every time I hear it."

I stand, shifting your smaller weight to one arm while you continue to cling to me. Crossing the room, I wait. When pre-teen you stands, I wrap my free arm around you and hold you tight. You bury your face in my side and cry.

I hate it, too.