Andrew raised a hand. "Can I take this one? I always wondered what happened between you and F8."

"Yeah. Why the hell would she ever release you?" Kyle asked as he and Silence reentered the study, settling on a pallet. Both of them glowed.

I asked, "Sagan, do you mind grabbing volume three hundred and ten and handing it over to—Thank you." Still perched on the ladder, she handed my journal to Andrew, who looked at me expectantly. I said, "Page two hundred and thirty-eight. The memory continues into the next volume, but we'll start here."

Andrew found the page and cleared his throat before reading.

Nox warned me to stay near the conduit, but our soldiers broke formations in a panic. Drones, insects the size of full-grown Icari, buzzed about and seized our people by the dozen. I knew I was about to break my promise.

I ran to the pulsating hive and found an opening beneath it. The hive was agitated by the activity, and while I desperately wanted to study it, I needed to retrieve—

Umbra flew out of a perfectly cylindrical chute in the 'ground' without a backward glance for the people he'd abandoned. He shouted orders which I ignored to search for—

There!

Korac, Nox, and a garrison of soldiers stood in a pool of fascinating pre-digestive enzymes, surrounded by carnivorous larvae. I yelled, "Nox! Father's called the retreat. However did you get down there?"

Korac cursed as if my intrusion was ill-timed.

While some of the soldiers defended the phalanx from the approaching homo-insects, Nox called, "Xelan, go! Leave us!"

No. There had to be a way. I looked around, searching for sturdy vegetation. Something—

Vines.

The vines looked hardy and capable. Maybe not strong enough to hold Nox, but he could fly out while the others climbed to their escape.

Armed with a plan, I shouted, "I can find a way to get you—"

I cried out when a drone snatched me from behind and carried me off. Although I wriggled and fought, I didn't want to hurt him. I wanted to understand him, and I tried to reason with him. "What is it? What is it you want? I can help! Just let me go! My brothers will aid you—"

The next sound I made wasn't very noble nor heroic. Somewhere between a gulp and a shriek, like I'd swallowed my stomach and squeezed the air out of it in one go. They'd dropped me from a great height when I'd yet to come into my wings. I thought the next sound I'd hear would be an inelegant splat as my bones emptied onto some—

Squelch.

It's interesting to describe the inside of a hive sac. Later, I could compare it to an acid trip dipped in a sticky substance with the viscosity of honey. Light shone from beneath the fluid, reflecting onto the color-changing walls, floors, and ceiling. Green. Purple. Red. The gas was thicker here, hovering over the reproductive mucous. It was sweeter condensed within the heart of the tree, almost cloyingly so—

I finally discovered the source.

A butterfly stood at the highest point. Black and red wings draped off her back like a cape for her matching battle armor. Antennae twitched and sensed more about me than I could ever know of her. Where her drones had needle-nosed mouths, her lips were like all the other females I'd seen thus far. The twenty facets of her insect eyes returned the light in a diamond shimmer, and they were shedding tears.

When she spoke, her voice vibrated in a humming I found distressing. "Leave. Leave now. Spare my people."

I held up my hands in surrender, but the big drone who'd captured me—later, I learned was Seps—forced me to my knees before his queen. This invasion was awful and was never something I wanted. "I apologize on behalf of the Icari. There was some mistake. We will leave immediately."

Their heads tilted this way and that. I overheard their clicking exchange.

"What did he say?"

"Did anyone make out his language?"

Why couldn't they understand me—

Oh.

Of course.

No nacres. No translation.

In full supplication, I kowtowed and stretched my hands out to her until my face was buried in the sweet fog. I closed my eyes and prayed to Elden she'd understand my message.

Reading the entry, Andrew noted, "Like the Icari with Silence." She smiled at him, and I nodded at him to continue reading.

Seps asked, "What do you make of it, your majesty?"

The queen declared, "Peace. Take him back. He will tell the others to spare us."

Yes. I would.

After Seps carried me to the surface, I sought my brothers. I knew Nox and Korac would side with me and we would leave this place unharmed—

Limbs, heads, dismembered torsos littered the once beautiful habitat, transforming the flowers into a battlefield. And ripping apart a drone in the very center was...

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"Nox."

Korac blanched at my voice.

Nox turned and said, without apology, "I thought they killed you."

Let me say that it is no excuse. Blind vengeance is not a reason to commit genocide.

Your voice is soft as you say, "I'm not sure I would've done much different. Not in the moment."

That's what scares me, Rayne. You and Nox have a lot in common.

You don't respond to the comment, but you say, "I'd like to think I'd be more like you. I want to be more like you. At least... in that instance."

Be yourself, but the best of yourself.

The little version of you gives me a thumbs-up. "Right!"

Nox's Verse covered what occurred while I tried to convince them to stop murdering a beautiful race of people, terrified out of their minds for their survival. Umbra withered the hive with some toxin. Not only would it mean death for the tree, but for the queen and her drones. They were so vulnerable, and Remorse had hired my father to assassinate them. Hired me to collect gas samples for them.

I rushed to climb back into the hive, while my brother and my best friend tried to drag me down. I cried, "I can save them. We just have to save the queen. The rest will survive."

Nox grabbed me by the collar. "No. We have no idea what Umbra did to them. It could kill you, too."

Quick to act, I suggested, "I can give her my blood. It will—"

Nox held me still and pointed out the obvious to me. "She has no nacre. It will never work."

I turned back to watch the thriving heart in the center of a magnificent ecosystem shrivel until it resembled the rotted pit of some fruit. I knew what I had to do. "Then let her have mine! I am worth less than an entire species. Let me do this."

Korac wrapped his arms around me and lifted me physically away.

I wept. "I cannot let them die. Not knowing I had a hand in it."

Nox pointed a finger in my face and ordered, "Stay here." To Korac, he said, "Do not release him." Then he disappeared.

I glanced back at Korac where he held me and asked on a hiccup of a sob, "Why would father do this?"

Korac shook his head. "Your majesty, that does not concern me."

"What does?"

My best friend confessed, "That you would give your life so easily for another's with so little regard for your own—"

"From a fallen soldier." Nox returned, holding out a nacre covered in blue gore. Korac released me, and Nox clasped my hand with it, saying, "Just the nacre. Do not give her your blood. This is more than enough."

I nodded. "Yes. Yes, this should do."

They both let me go inside alone.

Korac chuffed into his drink, "'Let.'"

At this point in the story, everyone in the study was on the edge of their seats much like you are now, Rayne. This moment is missing from both Verses. No one but F8 and I know what took place here.

Until now.

The Queen of the hive shrieked in her death throes, withering into nothing. Her gasping screams wounded me. How she shrank back as I approached, bearing an incredible gift in my outstretched hand, broke me.

"Oh, please say you can understand me. Please. We are not part of this!"

I wasn't aware enough of her anatomy to know where a nacre should store within her, so I coaxed it to her lips and begged her to take it. "It will save you. I can save you. Please."

I didn't believe she took it because I was so convincing. The Queen I'd later know as F8 swallowed the nacre because I'd given her little other choice. But to make it go down easier, I coated it with my blood after tearing into my arm with my teeth. It healed nearly instantly, hiding the evidence.

Tumu's eyes widened. "You didn't."

Korac muttered, "I knew it."

Tameka grinned. "It was the right thing to do."

I am so lucky.

Still unsure how she would fare, I left the Queen to her fate and rejoined my brothers outside. As we escaped Monarch 3 back into Enki, I was destined for a new mission, determined and backed by my self-righteous indignation.

On the conduit's threshold, I vowed, "One day." I would return and learn if she survived. Learned if I made any difference.

Until then I let Eminent Lance know in the shrine, "I will take no part in genocide."

Unaware of his double agent status at the time, I fumed when he said, "Of course, Prince Xelan. We sent you with that very notion in mind. We knew you would prevent their demise."

Now I know Lance meant it literally, but then...

I was acutely aware of Korac smirking at me and of Nox gaping as I pressed, "I am no mock leader like my father. Nor am I good soldier like my brother."

You poke me. "You went quiet again."

I was just thinking. In his Verse, this is where Nox referred to me as the rightful leader of Cinder.

In the study, Sagan noticed my reflective silence and gently confirmed, "I think he meant it. At that moment, you were Nox's hero."

Painful confusion made me frown, but I carried on with the story.

I disavowed Cinder from Enki, and to our surprise, Umbra didn't object. He even sent the Lyriks from the Spire. Before the night was over, he suggested an alliance of our better traits. The four of us—Father, Nox, Korac, and I—worked together from that point on to prepare Cinder for independence.

Korac toasted, and the others joined. He said, "To that glorious night."

And yet...

Monarch 3 was the first time I saw my brother as something other than a hero. Something closer to our father. A monster.

You grow quiet, and I wince at the weight of your silence.

Rayne...

I'd startled you out of your thoughts, and you smile to soften your next words. "No. You don't need to explain yourself to me. I understand. What makes me sad is that so did Nox, and... you two never worked it out. He knew how you drew your conclusions. Hell—"

Language.

"—He even agreed with them, but... Monster? After all the love between you two—How quickly it distilled into that."

Do you think less of me yet?

"Absolutely not."

You will and perhaps there's justice in that—Ow.

My hand stings where you flicked it with your little fingers as you scold me in the teeniest voice. "Stop that. Nothing can make me not love you."

Preteen you repeats, "Nothing." You search my eyes, push a strand of hair behind your ear, and continue. "They still love you, too. Your Verse is for healing. Right now, a few of your scars are bleeding, but when they seam back together, you'll barely see them. Trust in your family."

That's a tall order.

You poke me in the arm. "Trust."

Yes, ma'am. How could I ever argue with you?