I wasn't ready to tell my secret, and I was at the same time. It maligned through me like a cancer, eating away at my thoughts, my heart, and my sleep for too long. Before much longer, it would chew through my body—And I couldn't have that while raising Pax.

With a sad smile—I couldn't muster a grin—I waded into the pallets of Shadow. Progeny, Icari, Humans, Tritans, Lamias, and Drones. My family minus a few warm faces. I met all their stares as I brought my Verse to its conclusion.

"There are still some loose-ends. I want to take a moment and say Colita's death saddens me. She was a good friend to me, but I know she was an enemy of the Shadow. Like Razor." I shot Korac a distressed glance, saying, "She deserved better for an end."

Tameka agreed. "Even I think killing Colita in battle was better than Nox locking her in the Martyr Complex."

Korac conceded with a nod. "Fair enough."

I took the spotlight back. "We need to continue investigating who took my birth nacre from Nox's castle and placed it in the resurrection casket below Gait's prison."

Kyle asked, "Do you think someone in the Shadow could've done it?"

I frowned, asking, "Why would they hide it?"

Kyle gave a not-so-subtle glance at Tumu and Lucas. "Well, we've had a few clandestine and ambiguous members in the past. What if some people are still keeping secrets?"

You snicker as you say, "That's rich coming from the guy who fell in love with the most important amnesiac in the galaxy."

Andrew stood with an apologetic look in my direction before saying, "I know this Verse is a sour reminder of Lucas' complicity in some of our worst moments, but we agreed. When you look at the facts, he was always on our side. Sometimes, bitterly so. Please remember he fought with us on Volcano Day when it mattered. Side-by-side. Bleeding and burnt. He just looked better than all of you while he did it."

That shameless, goofy grin.

Despite myself, I barked out a laugh, holding my ribs.

The Shadow smiled or chuckled, joining in the warmth. Sagan even stood up and hugged Andrew, then Lucas. She said, "It's okay. Although ironic after the lecture you gave me for being in love with Korac all those years ago."

Andrew chuffed. "Yeah. Yeah. Your Icarus is less evil than mine. I get it."

Evil.

What did Lucas do that was evil?

Or Korac?

Rayne, wouldn't you say the definition of that word changes with every Verse?

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"Yes." You glow a little extra at the thought. "I don't think anyone is evil anymore. Well, maybe Abresson, but Lucy paid him the goodbye he deserved." Everything about you sobers a bit and somehow you are gentle and stern all at once. "Tell them."

"I let Celindria go."

All the faces were mid-laughter, smiling, and filled with the infectious warmth of this place until my words sunk in.

Smith was still smiling, but it was full of... respect.

It was the same smile on Lucas' face.

Korac also looked less surprised than I expected, but that didn't mean he looked happy. The smile wiped clean from his face and undiluted disappointment replaced it.

Eventually, Jack asked, "Wh—What did you say, Wingmaster?"

Pehton coughed, choking on something, and squeezed out, "Did you just say—"

"I let Celindria live after her fight with Remorse. She was injured, but I couldn't bring myself to kill her."

"Son of a bitch." Kyle knocked over his drink as he jumped to his feet.

Andrew followed, and, judging by the look on his face, tasted my intentions.

I let him have them. All of them.

You were right that day. I did let her go, and I lied to you about her death. I'm sorry. Please understand me. I can't bear my responsibility for her insanity. She doesn't understand. There's nothing she can do since she stepped into the source of Cascading Light. What little remained of her soul will wither, and she'll take us with her. And I deserve it—

"Stop!" Andrew was clutching his chest as if it hurt, staring at my face as he repeated, "No more."

Sagan asked, "What is it? What's in his intentions?"

Korac humphed and spoke into his glass. "Guilt."

They were getting closer to me.

Except the First Wave Progeny.

T.a.o. knew, Andrius had sensed it from me, and Devis was... the only person in the room smiling with relief.

Dizzy.

So dizzy.

"How could you let her go?"

"Please tell me you know where she is?"

"Is that who's been stealing our shipments from Pil?"

"Did my memory fix her?"

All the voices and faces were familiar, but their words exploded like firecrackers in my ears—

Deaf.

I couldn't hear.

No.

The room went silent.

Why—

I spun to find myself crouched in the center of my study, shielding myself. But everyone had backed off. Everyone but Tameka. The woman I love, the mother of my son—Her green eyes reflected concern, but... something else.

"Go to bed, Xelan." That 'something else' was in Tameka's voice, in her soft hands on my face. It was final and not to be argued with. She said, "Sleep and don't pretend this time. Come down only when you've rested for at least eight hours. We'll still be here when you're ready. All of us."

Korac called, "You heard our Co-Emperor, people. Go get some rest, and we'll discuss this in the morning."

They moved back, giving me room to walk out of the study. All the while, they shared the same expressions.

Hurt.

Disappointment.

And a little fear.

What have I done?