So here I am. Hiding in my shame from my family inside a Divine Booth I stole from Razor and programmed with younger versions of you to brainstorm ideas and, well, grieve. Because no matter how hard I try to convince myself, some part of me still questions.

Did you die with Enki?

Rayne, how long have I been asleep in here?

You're still holding both my hands as you bite your lip before saying, "Four hours. They don't know where to find you, and they're searching the stronghold over. It won't be long before they think to look in here."

I couldn't help but notice you've tied your dress with the same nacre rope I remember seeing in our previous encounters—It's you. It's really you.

I try to hold it together, but the tears fall, anyway.

You're alive.

You stand, pulling me up with you into a hug. I can't help but crush you in the embrace, clinging to my sanity for all these months, fearing you were gone.

Against my chest, you say, "I've tried so hard to tell you, but you wouldn't sleep..."

Your tears are warm through my shirt, and I brush my hand down your hair to apologize. My eyes squeeze shut to let the tears fall.

I was so afraid...

When I open my eyes again, the Divine Booth's simulation of my study is gone, and we're standing on the same beach as always in your visits. Except this time, I notice an island with a volcanic eruption pouring lava into the waves. It's symbolic, but of what?

"Never mind that." You separate us to stare up at my eyes with yours red from tears. "I understand everything now. You weren't training me all those years to kill Nox. You were training me to defeat Celindria because you can't do it."

I nod, unable to speak yet. Instead, I cup your cheek, letting my sorrow into my eyes.

Please forgive me.

The wind loosens your hair, and you push it from your face, so I can see how much you understand. "You don't need to ask me, Xelan. I've been with you this entire time. Tell me, what are her abilities, defenses, and weaknesses?" You lean into my hand, urging, "We have little time."

Celindria can manipulate shadows and use them to travel. I'm not entirely certain how. She doesn't have wings that I know of, but well, you were there in Umbra's Spire. She got to the window somehow. Cascading Light gives her an advantage over you, and I can't speak to the limits of it. Since Thailea, I think she can only experiences negative emotions. No more hints of love or joy. Only grief and malice. And...

"Yes?"

Once, I thought Celindria possessed a flicker of her sibling's abilities, but that can't be entirely true or she wouldn't have needed Pax for Ishkur.

Your eyes are so clear beside the water that I can see myself in them, but not me. I can see how you see me. Frock coat, pirate tricorn, and an earring. It leaves me incredulous.

Really?

You grin at me, and I'm immediately disarmed. I grin back.

You ask, "Can you give me anything else?"

What remains of Imminent will want you dead once they've learned you've survived the impossible. I've afforded you some cover by encouraging the Rayne tributes. Be careful.

A thought suddenly occurs to me.

I have safe houses across the Worlds—

"I know." You're still grinning as you say, "They're in Razor's dossier."

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My mouth fell open. I closed it. Razor.

He gave it to you?

You nod and fuss with your hair again. "Yes, before we died. He uploaded it straight into my nacre memory bank."

I'm both shocked and totally unsurprised. Use any of them you like except the one on Thailea. It was too experimental, and you may get lost trying to find it.

"Thank you. I'll let you know which one I'm in when it's time. I'll bring the others in when I need them, but please, I know it hurts, but let them think I'm dead."

I open my mouth to argue—

You shake your head. "It's okay for Jack to have hope, I guess. But anyone else will come after us. I can't have that."

Us. That reminds me...

Come collect the two strawberry milkshakes I owe you.

Your smile is sly and sad at the same time. Quite the paradox with the light in your blue eyes. Softly, you say, "I guess I owe you some answers."

I nod slow and deep.

I need to hear it, please. You've kept me on the hook long enough. How is Nox featuring in your dreams? How do you feel about him now that you've grown into this brilliant young woman capable of anything? Now that you know everything.

You cup my hand already on your face and bring the other to match, holding them both in place. A fresh tear streams from your lashes, and I prepare myself for the answer.

"I can't love Nox because you won't let me." Your voice is trembling, and the rest of your words come out on a breath. "On the same day he killed you, he hurt me. Maybe one day I can forgive the latter, but never what he did to you. The things he said as he sent you to Eternity...

"And yet..."

Now there's a fear of disappointing me in your eyes, and I kiss your forehead to assure you.

There is no way you could ever disappoint me.

On half a sob, you confess, "Nox did so much for me. More than you can ever know. But I hold it all back—gratitude, affection, forgiveness—because of you. As long as you can't forgive him, how can I let myself love him?"

Rayne, is Nox alive with you—

A knock sounded, and Tameka's voice pierced the veil. "Xelan, are you in here? Korac, can you help me open this?"

Seconds.

We have seconds, and I'm not wasting anymore of them on Nox.

I press our foreheads together, and you cling to my coat, crying.

I never told you, but that day when you ran in front of the car, you saved my world. All our worlds. I keep saving your life because you keep saving mine, and for that reason, I don't want you fighting alone.

"I'm not alone."

A shadow appears behind you, a silhouette burnished against the sun, massive and strong. Just when I assume it's Nox, gold glitters where it's painted along charcoal skin. Eyes open with Li inside them, matching your own.

"I'm not alone, Xelan, and neither are you. Hang tight for me. It's almost over."

I'm writing this entry thirty-six hours after I awakened in the Divine Booth with the others. After much conversation, I've convinced them that the matter with Celindria is being monitored, and I've already devised strategies for detaining her. They do not know you're alive, nor that Elden is aiding you. I will keep my faith in you a little while longer, but if I don't hear from you at regular intervals, I'll assume the worst and come find you, Callahan.

That means I'll be sleeping regularly. Tameka, my loving mate, is taking on the role of caretaker—One I'd never wished to burden her with, but that Korac and Tumu deemed necessary. Aria and Torch are even taking shifts to ensure I'm caring for myself. It's humiliating, and I'm ashamed, but beneath all of it is pure gratitude and love.

No one has called into question my competence to co-rule this empire, possibly because it is so reliant on others—The King Elects, Iona Councils, and my Co-Emperor. We are undergoing the search for a few psychologists to treat all of our various traumas, and I think it's past time. You know it's gotten bad when Korac's the one suggesting it.

The happy couple finally got to take off on their honeymoon, but...

I think Korac knows.

I'm almost certain Lucas knows.

Only one of them will search for you, so I'll keep an eye on Korac. Fortunately, he hasn't told Sagan. We both know that if she suspected you're alive, I would simply tell her the truth. I'm sorry.

Probabilities continue to shrink. I'm personally for it. I also think it has something to do with you and your work.

There's an air of mystery around you and your capabilities, Rayne. I'm not even certain what you can do, but I am certain you'll call when it's time.

Thank you for coming to see me and for convincing me I'm not a monster. I'm the Traitor Prince of Cinder, Tameka's loving mate, Razor's pet corsair, and father to a genius little boy with a mind full of potential. I'm glad someone gave me a second chance.

Now it's time to learn why.