Archimedes
Archimedes' Auto Loot ability drew a trail of cards behind him and Chedderfield as they raced around the outskirts of the battlefield.
“Fuck, I knew we shoulda left sooner,” Chedderfield swore as he came to an abrupt halt. The sirrušu followed suit, spears and staves held out.
“What is it?” Archimedes asked, turning his head to see what was going on. A tall woman with jet-black hair emerged from the ground, flanked by two of the giant molepedes. “Oh.”
“‘Oh’ indeed. How pleasant it is to see you again, young name giver,” Dvixian Princess Buttercup said as she stared at Archimedes with piercing yellow eyes. “Especially under such auspicious circumstances.”
“Auspicious?” Archimedes questioned, feeling like she was just joking with him about the fact the circumstances were fortunate, only to watch her lean over and rip the arm of a crystal brute off its corpse and devour it, her jaw unhinging, splitting open and biting down onto the arm, the rock-like flesh crunching as she finished it in only three bites. He had to admit that even though he had eaten dead zombies before, there was something wrong about watching the alien gobble up a humanoid, especially in such a quick manner.
“Auspicious indeed. With this battle, we will have cleared my debt to you and acquired a feast in the process,” the queen said. “A feast which I’d like to enjoy freshly. I am merely stopping by to inform you that, as your people say, chit has been called in.”
“Does that mean you don’t want any of these cards or the quest rewards?” Archimedes asked.
“I have no need for such things. I require only the fresh material from our enemies to create more of our kind,” the princess answered. “Until next time, gentlemen.” She then grabbed up another body and devoured it like a cartoon character going through a giant ham hock as she departed even quicker than she arrived.
“Is it just me, or does she talk better than we do?” Archimedes asked, mouth agape as he watched her walk away. He hated to admit it, but he couldn’t stop staring at her departing figure. It was a horrifying thought to consider how beautiful and human-like the woman could be given the fact she might very well spell the death of thousands of people or become an unkillable threat in the future.
“Maybe it’s all the brains she eats,” Chedderfield said as he smacked Archimedes on the back of his head while simultaneously activating Healer’s Touch again, further replenishing his missing hit points and finally healing him enough that his abdominal wound was able to close up. “Which is why we should definitely leave before she decides to make us her next snack.”
“No arguments here,” Archimedes replied. The two of them skirted around the battlefield at a steady run, their eyes glued to the action. It was a mixed scene of chaos, horror, and beauty. Hell-cursed lay dead or dying at the hands of their own kind. All of the order that once existed—the little neat rows and columns of soldiers, brutes, and other abominations—were gone. Only the truly brutal nature of the monsters remained as half of them fought against the other half, tearing each other limb from limb, driven into an indiscriminate frenzy by the loss of their conscriptor controllers.
The half of the army that was still organized, that hadn’t been overcome by the shock of the general’s death or died outright immediately, had gone from pushing toward the base to trying to save its numbers as it hastily organized a retreat, led by a few of the still-living conscriptors too far in the distance for Archimedes to even hope to stop.
Archimedes and his crew reached a rise where they could see the power plant base, and Archimedes breathed a sigh of relief. The moat was bloated with the undead, the coral walls were crushed, and there were enough bodies on the field to build a new wall, but the base still stood. The turrets and the soldiers on the walls continued to fire, and while the hell-cursed still tried to fight, they reverted to ineffectual flailing and biting at the walls instead of concentrated attacks meant to breach the base’s defenses.
“Oh, look at all those wonderful cards!” Archimedes said as he surveyed the battlefield outside the base. “Just skirt close enough for me to snag them all, and I’ll be one happy Automator.”
The group of six moved cautiously around the base, staying low and hidden behind thickets of scrubby brush. As they approached the eastern side, they saw that it was the least guarded area.
As Archimedes managed to Leap-Rush over the thirty-foot wall carrying Chedderfield, the loss of blood from having gutted himself earlier started to catch up with him, causing his step to falter for a moment as he nearly toppled over.
“You okay, bro?” Chedderfield asked as Archimedes did his best to straighten his back and not show his fatigue.
“None worse for the wear. I’m almost fully healed,” Archimedes answered. “Just need a steak, an egg, and a nice nap with the girl.”
“By girl, do you mean Nguyen, Lucy, or Stephanie?” Chedderfield jabbed.
“I thought I already paid you your share of cards. Why do you keep going there?” Archimedes replied, laughing, which reminded him that he, in fact, wasn’t fully healed as each laugh created a wave of pain through his sides.
Before the conversation could go any further though, the soldiers in the area spotted them, one pointing to another as they let out a thunderous round of applause for the six returning heroes.
Archimedes saw all of his friends, bloodied but whole. Wanting to join in on the celebration, he raised his spear and opened his mouth, ready to declare his victory, only for the pain in his chest to grow before everything went black around him, and the only thing he could feel was himself rushing toward the ground.
———
Archimedes woke up to a cloth ceiling, the material flapping with the breeze, and a few system notifications floating above him.
Congratulations! Through continuous combat against the Human Faction as well as the Demonic Faction, you have gained enough EXP to advance to level 9!
You have unlocked the ability to assign or accept special faction or group related jobs. These jobs, such as finance minister or party banker will allow you to change loot distribution, information sharing, and other system-related functions from individual to party or faction oriented. Note: The system will not refund you if you choose a loot distribution setting that causes you to lose out on desired skills or equipment following a major fight, so we advise members to pay attention to the details of all roles very carefully before joining parties.
You have successfully defended your base from an enemy invasion! As a reward for your achievement, all participating members of your coalition have been awarded 3 stat points to spend. Primary group members shall be awarded an additional 2 stat points.
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Your faction has successfully negotiated terms between several other human factions. Due to the dedication and hard work needed to maintain such boring and tedious minutia for the sake of fielding large enough armies to entertain us, your primary group members shall be awarded 1 Charisma.
You have raised your Baron class level high enough to prestige! You now may select one of two prestige class options: Viscount and Castellan.
He didn’t feel like dealing with the choices right away and dismissed them. As he sat up with a groggy mind and aching body, he realized he was in a tent, surrounded by rows and rows of cots filled with wounded soldiers. Some were missing limbs, others just had bandages around their injuries, and more than a few looked lifeless and pale as they just lay there.
He searched his memory for what had happened, and slowly the fragments of the battle came back to him.
He felt a deep sadness for the ones who were lost, an aching exhaustion from the battle, and a newfound respect for the strength and courage of the men and women around him. He felt a connection with them and their resolve to do whatever it took to make it through this battle.
He pulled the IV and blood infusions from him and quickly grabbed a blanket and made his way out of the tent, ready to face whatever was ahead of him.
He walked out of the tent toward the center of the base and saw most of his team encircled by the college group, the Australians, and a number of soldiers. Danielle was holding up her hands, and he caught her saying, “Uh, it might take us a while to get all of you laser rifles. I can only make so many a day and need the materials to make them.”
“That won’t be a problem, Miss Danielle. We’ll provide you with all materials you need. It’s the least we can do for your help,” Sergeant Maryland said.
“My men tell me they were impressed with the sniper rifles you provided. If you’d be willing to make us more, we’d be happy to pay you silver cards for them,” Colonel Hooker.
“Of course. That’s something we can talk about once I’ve made . . .” Danielle checked a notification window. She sighed wearily. “Once I’ve made 143 of them for the college group, the Australians, and Brad’s group.”
“We can pay Brad’s group last,” Nguyen suggested.
“We have to pay what we owe,” Chedderfield insisted. “I hate the bastard as much as you do, but it was a fair trade, and one we needed to make.”
“Fine,” Nguyen grumbled. “But I don’t remember a timeframe for fulfilling the deal, so like I said, we can pay him last.”
“And the Aussies first,” Lucy added as she joined the conversation. “They said we can call them again any time we need, so we might as well keep them supplied with the best guns. That way, they don’t die before we need them.”
“Ha! You just like that new friend you made. What was her name?”
“What? No. It’s that they’re good people and reliable,” Lucy grumbled. “And it’s Isla.”
Chedderfield spotted Archimedes standing at the edge of the crowd, and his face lit up mischievously. “But we should put all this aside. The great hero of the Battle of the Five-and-a-Half Armies has awoken!”
Archimedes took a step back as hundreds of eyes turned toward him expectantly. Their gaze made him uncomfortable as he realized he was once again nearly fully nude, his clothes either cut away or taken away while he was unconscious.
“Why am I missing my clothes?” Archimedes asked as he peeked under the blanket covering him, checking once more to make sure he wasn’t just not feeling it.
“Oh these?” Chedderfield asked, producing the clothes and armor that Archimedes had been using before the battle in his hand. “I don’t know. Nguyen insisted that we take them from you, that way she could check you for any wounds, and then not give them back to you right away.”
“Yup, and since we’re all very busy wrapping up negotiations, we thought we might as well do it right here, where you could join us immediately after,” Nguyen explained. “But the soldiers, all anxiously anticipating the next speech, gathered around too. So, you know, go ahead and stand up. Give them a real stiff speech, why don’t you?”
Archimedes could feel his jaw drop as he pieced together the prank that was being pulled on him. “What the heck did I do this time? What did you tell them?”
“Oh, he didn’t tell them anything,” Chip interjected. “Rather, it was her.” He pointed to Brightscales.“In great detail, she told the story of your heroic battle with the general. She made sure to let no one forget your great sacrifice, how you nearly died by your spear just to ensure the general’s demise! It was a riveting story. No less than one would expect of such a selfless leader. Even that individual, Brad, seemed impressed with the story.”
So they know I nearly died again, and this time by choice . . . Archimedes pinched the upper bridge of his nose as he realized he wasn’t going to get out of it this time. That smile of Lucy’s . . . He knew it. It was the “you’re in deep shit” smile that she used when talking to someone before she started a fight or went off on them.
“Sorry, hermano,” Chedderfield mumbled. “I didn’t want to say anything, but I don’t even know how to say hello in the sirrušu’s language, much less how to say 'please don’t throw my bro under the bus cause his girls will kill him’.”
“I think you should get to the speech already,” Danielle insisted. “They’ve all been waiting.”
“Wait . . . don’t we need to discuss how we’re going to handle the vassalship now that the battle is over?” Archimedes asked.
“Nope. Chedderfield did that already. He made a pretty convincing argument, and they’re going to continue as vassals for now,” Danielle answered.
“What about the, uhh . . .” Archimedes scratched his head. “What about the supplies issue? Food exchanges and core transfers and stuff?”
“Chedderfield, Nguyen, and I took care of that too,” Danielle said.
“And paying out Brad? You said he gets weapons from us. What happened with that? And what deal did we reach with Stephanie?” Archimedes asked as he slowly started to realize that Lucy had disappeared and there were no small tasks he could take on to escape the punishment she and Nguyen had planned for him.
“Well, Stephanie is still outside cleaning up and organizing those college kids, but as for Brad . . . He’s agreed to supply us with canned and dry goods, parts to maintain our generator at the aquarium, some advanced weapons and to wipe the slate clean if we just give him some sniper rifles and fresh food in exchange. I was against it, but Chedderfield and Danielle pointed out that we don’t need more enemies than we have. If this means we never have to deal with him again, I’m fine with it.”
Brad? Forgive anyone? Archimedes was a little skeptical, but he had to admit that not ever having to deal with Brad again was a tempting offer. Especially since, as much as he wanted to kill Brad, his little cult was an incredibly effective tool for dealing with the Demonic Faction—a tool this battle no doubt leveled up.
“I think the patient is shy,” one of the few female soldiers with a medical patch said. “Maybe we should get him some pants.”
“No, I think he’s just cold. Maybe some sweats instead,” another soldier nearby offered.
“You know what? Screw it. Fine,” Archimedes grumbled as he dropped the blanket covering his dangly bits and stood tall, hands on hips proudly. Everyone who wasn’t already watching what was going on turned their attention to him, staring at him either because they were expecting something or because he was a random guy standing butt-naked in the courtyard.
“I was told by Luce not to return these to you until you left the tent,” Chedderfield explained as Archimedes reached his hand out for his clothes, thinking he had already paid his price.
“She’s that mad?” Archimedes asked as dressed himself.
“That mad,” Chedderfield affirmed with a nod.
“Alright, so where is she then?” Archimedes accepted his fate, walking toward the portal room, where Chedderfield pointed. He was greeted by even more stares when hundreds of people turned to face him as he walked past.
Even though he had his clothes back on, he wasn’t sure he felt any less exposed given how tight and constricting the ranger’s tights felt, but that thought immediately left his mind as quickly as it entered. He had become too preoccupied with looking around at the damage that had been done. Walls had been destroyed, small craters had been left across the ground from the seemingly endless rain of catapulted zombie balls, rows of dead soldiers had been laid out across the courtyard and sorted before burial, and gunsmoke still filled the air.
His eyes briefly connected with those of a few of the soldiers who were still working tirelessly alongside the raccoons to repair the concrete walls. He wanted to tell them to take a break, to stop working and get some rest, that the work would be there in the morning—that they, for now, had already defeated the only army large enough to threaten the base—but as he saw the looks on their faces as they built the frames and set the concrete and patched up the holes, he knew that there wouldn’t be any rest for them. They had lost too many people in the fight. There was likely no soldier that wasn’t mourning, and he knew from experience that labor and work were the only ways to grieve sometimes.
Lucy stood there with Emma by an open portal, a bag of potatoes and a large steak in hand and a smile on her face. Archimedes looked back at a grinning Chedderfield, then turned and kissed Lucy.
“It’s time to go home,” Lucy said as she led him through the portal and to a well-deserved rest.