Chedderfield
“We’re not all going to fit in there,” Chedderfield realized as he looked down at the pit, which was already half filled with zombies of the human, gorilla and elephant kind. “
“It’s cool. I’ve already saved my damsel in distress from another planet, so you two can— HEY!! HEY! I WAS TALKING!” Lucy yelled after Archimedes, who had simply jumped to the bottom of the thirty-foot-deep pit, landing with an explosive attack that killed what, based on his uniform, looked like a zombie zookeeper. With a huff, she jumped in after him. “YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!” Her voice was incredibly muffled not by the distance, but by the dark shadowy aura emanating out from within the pit.
“We got it. Go. We can’t let those Aussies beat us,” Danielle said, giving Chedderfield a smile before turning around and shooting at some of the approaching zombies that managed to get past Emma’s turret.
“Fine, I’ll take the hint.” Chedderfield shook his head as he jumped in after the battle-crazy couple.
One of the two silverback zombies that had just finished assembling picked up and flung a decapitated human head at him the moment he landed, forcing him to duck the second his feet hit the ground. He felt the gust of air as the head whizzed over him before hearing it splat on the ground behind him. When he stood back up, his macuahuitl appeared in his hand just in time for the flat side of the weapon to block the gorilla’s ferocious punch. Before the gorilla could follow up with another wild swipe, Chedderfield exhaled and activated his breath attack. The acid sprayed all over the gorilla, quickly causing its already-rotten skin to sizzle and smoke as it tried in vain to wipe off the corrosive fluid burning away at its flesh.
Despite the damage being significant, the gorilla recovered quicker than expected, standing back up like it was going to charge Chedderfield even with its entire body covered in acid, only to stop a moment after it stood up.
“Yoink!” he heard Lucy yell as the glowing red tip of her sword exploded out of the silverback’s face. Even though it was an efficient kill and saved Chedderfield from the horror of trying to fight the thing head on, the turn of events felt disappointing. He watched his prey die before he could even take one swing at it.
“Chedderfield! Lucy! I’m blocked over here! Go ahead!” Archimedes shouted from up ahead. There, he could see Archimedes was doing his best to dodge the charging undead elephant and the conscriptor on top of it, the elephant's charge forcing Archimedes to roll to one side as the conscriptor’s spider-like legs lashed out from above, piercing the ground just behind Archimedes and nearly impaling his friend in the process.
Lucy, who had just finished killing off the gorilla Chedderfield had fought, rushed over to help Archimedes. As Archimedes popped back up to his feet and tried to Leap Rush to stab the conscriptor, the undead elephant slapped him down with its trunk before he could get more than a foot off the ground. Lucy tried to use No Brainer, but the skill seemed to wash over the elephant and its conscriptor impotently, barely pausing either of them for half a second.
Archimedes, who had practically bounced off the ground from the elephant’s truck attack, stood back up again just in time to leap back and avoid the elephant using its spiked tusks to gore him.
“Get to that damn core! We’ll take care of undead Jumbo here,” Archimedes called out.
Seeing an opening between him and the core as the elephant went for Archimedes, Chedderfield activated Meat Slam at a zombie on the other side of the pit, digging his feet into the ground and managing to cut off the skill just in time as he skidded past the glowing orb that floated in the exact center of the pit. His hand touched it, and a blue screen appeared in front of him. He navigated the menu options, skipping the building types and their upgrades, the trade window, and the communication windows until he reached a section called “Core Removal” and chose to remove all base cores.
Warning. As an intruder attempting to remove base cores, be warned that all individuals within 100 feet of the established base will be notified of the attempted seizure. You must remain within the yellow zone for 120 seconds in order to fully capture the base hub resource you are attempting to extract. Additional resources will require an additional 120 seconds in order to capture.
A thirty-foot-wide yellow circle appeared around Chedderfield and the floating orb. There was a roar as several creatures leapt into the pit, followed by several members of the Australian team. The rugby players bashed, shot, and otherwise distracted most of the monsters, but one creature in particular made a beeline for Chedderfield. A seven-foot-tall panda with goat-like horns protruding from its head struck a man in bone armor, sending him flying away. Then the creature charged toward Chedderfield on all four legs. It covered the distance from the west side of the pit to the center with surprising speed, and Chedderfield met it at the edge of the yellow circle with a fierce Meat Slam. The translucent rock armor that covered his body shattered as a sharp glowing claw caught him in the shoulder and spun him away, his own momentum adding to the force. He tumbled and hit the ground, stunned more than hurt by the power of the creature.
A deep-throated growl was his only warning as he rolled forward and felt the wind and spray of dirt from a narrowly avoided demon panda slash. As Chedderfield got to his feet, he saw a six-inch gouge in the ground where he’d been. The creature huffed and stared at Chedderfield with glowing-red eyes. Then it charged again.
Chedderfield rolled to the left, but the monster was swift, and a claw caught him across the back, sending waves of agony as the monster cut through his armor and his flesh.
“Take this, you Build-A-Bear reject,” Chedderfield yelled as he swapped out Acid Breath for Ring of Purity and slammed his glowing hands on the ground. A white burning circle expanded from the place he touched.
The panda roared as it turned, its black-and-white fur covered in flame. It backhanded Chedderfield, sending him flying through the air to land fifteen feet back. By the time he got back to his feet, his vision spinning, the monster was already upon him, its claws slashing. Chedderfield stumbled back, the macuahuitl in his hands twisting and turning to catch the monster's frenzied attack on the flat of the weapon.
Before he knew it, he was inches away from the edge of the yellow circle, and Chedderfield knew that if he crossed that line, all was lost. They’d not be able to shut down the base, Archimedes and Lucy would be overwhelmed by the number of monsters pouring into the pit. And after that, the rest of his team would fall.
“No!” he shouted as the bone weapon cracked in the center from a powerful overhand strike from the demon panda. The weapon disappeared from his hands, replaced by knuckle dusters as Chedderfield used Meat Slam. It was only a step or two to the monster, but the translucent stone armor from the skill appeared over his skin as he slammed his fist into the creature's exposed white belly, the spikes of the bone knuckle dusters puncturing through white fur and drawing black blood. He felt two paws come down on his shoulders, and his feet sank into the ground a fraction of an inch, but he ignored the pain as he activated Surge of Power. His muscles swelled, and he felt like he was going to burst from the bonus energy. He punched again and again. Each hit cracked something, tore fur, and most importantly pushed the creature back, first one step and then another and another.
The panda roared and tried to bring its entire body down on Chedderfield, smothering him and tossing him back out of the yellow circle with sheer body mass. But Chedderfield pushed back, spamming Meat Slam with every step, giving it that much more strength. The combination of the skills worked, and the four-hundred-pound creature tumbled backward, right back into the Ring of Purity.
The creature roared in pain as it caught fire. It rolled over onto its feet and tried to leave the magical circle that was harming it.
“No, you don’t!” Chedderfield yelled, his spinal bone whip appearing in his hand. He took a big swing back, and the weapon snapped forward, cracking the air as it wrapped around the retreating creature's left rear leg. The sharp spines of the whip dug into the monster's fur as Chedderfield pulled back, yanking the leg from beneath the monster. The demonic panda growled and tried to muscle his way out of the ring. The fire was already burning through its fur and charring the flesh beneath. But Chedderfield yanked his whip, to the left and then to the right, always pulling the creature off balance and preventing it from getting enough traction to escape.
With a desperate roar, the panda turned and charged back at Chedderfield, the creature’s face half burnt off, its skull visible from the left eye socket back to its horns. The whip disappeared from Chedderfield’s hand, and he met the monster, Meat Slam creating a translucent protective layer around him as he hit it. He felt the cartilage and bone beneath the snout crunch as his shoulder slammed into it, and the creature groaned but brought its jaws down on his clavicle. He felt the protective layer pop as the monster bit down and then a crushing force on him. Chedderfield gave his own cry of pain, but instead of trying to pull away, he pushed in, wrapping his arms around the monster's head and grabbing onto its horns with his hands.
The smell of burning decayed flesh filled Chedderfield’s nostrils as he spread his legs to widen his stance and drop his center of gravity. The panda tried to snap its head left and right, but unlike a bull, its neck muscles were never meant to fling enemies off its horns or gorge. Chedderfield felt the monster’s teeth press down on his armor and something beneath snapped sending waves of pain through his right arm and shoulder, but he kept his grip and dug in his feet.
Slowly, the monster’s thrashing grew more and more feeble as it burnt away until finally, the horned monster lay still, its body consumed in purifying fire. A silver card appeared above what remained.
Intruders, congratulations on fully capturing the base hub resource you were attempting to extract. Individuals within 100 feet of the established base will be notified of the successful seizure. Additional resources will require an additional 120 seconds in order to capture.
Congratulations. You’ve helped complete Decimate the Invaders.
Objective: Destroy the hell-cursed base at the city zoo.
You have been rewarded with the skill card Pox on Death, S.A.N.E. weapon [Purifying Sword], and 5 lbs of frozen USDA grade-A beef steaks.
Please collect your rewards from any base hub with quest functionality.
Lying on his back, the still burning corpse of the monster he had just wrestled to its death holding his broken and slashed-up body down with its weight, Chedderfield felt a great sense of relief wash over him as he watched the black shadow energy that covered the pit fade away.
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“Coulda just let us take the core,” he heard Asim say in his thick Australian accent. Chedderfield looked up to see the man standing over him, a hand on the remains of the panda. “Didn’t have to take so many licks in the process, mate.”
“Sorry,” Chedderfield laughed, immediately regretting his chuckle as pain spasmed through his body. “Couldn’t let a few minor scratches get in the way of a win.”
“Minor scratches? Is that what you call getting cut up?” Hugh, one of the other rugby players, said as he pushed the bear off Chedderfield with Asim’s help.
“Thanks,” Chedderfield said as he did his best to stand up now that the panda’s body was no longer on top of him.
“No worries, mate. Your pair over there is a bit occupied, so thought I’d help you out in their place,” Asim said, gesturing at something in the distance. There, standing atop the now dead elephant, was Archimedes holding the dead conscriptor down with his foot. He was using his hands to brutally rip out one piece of flesh after the other from the conscriptor’s body like he was at a butcher shop, and his hands were giant meat hooks as they tore into the hell-cursed monster’s flesh over and over again.
While watching the scene, Asim asked, “Is he . . . Is he always like that?”
“He’s probably just hungry from the fight,” Chedderfield shrugged. “Give him a Snickers, and he’ll be fine.”
Asim chuckled at the reference. “I didn’t know you yanks had that commercial too.”
As Archimedes paused his savagery after mutilating roughly two-thirds of the conscriptor, he looked over at Chedderfield and Asim talking and called out to them, “Are you just going to stand there? Come on. This is good meat. The bonuses are great! We need to get this into strips of . . . Actually, are there any of those carts the zombies were using to move the corpses down that ramp over there and into the pit . . .” Archimedes pointed over at the ramp. “There has to be at least one or two of them around.”
“You talkin ‘bout Undead Delight?” Hugh asked as Asim looked a little confused.
“Yeah, you use it too?” Archimedes replied.
“We wouldn’t be a good sports team if we weren’t constantly incorporating the best strategies available,” Asim said smugly.
“I thought you guys weren’t that good?” Nguyen replied, appearing from behind Asim like a ghost, her concealment skill breaking.
“Oy!” Bicky, one of the female archers, exclaimed in response to Nguyen’s comment, not even bothering to form a full sentence. The single syllable did just fine in conveying the point.
“Well, what stat does it give?” Asim asked as they walked over to the elephant.
“Mind!” Archimedes answered, “That’s why we need it so much.”
“Ah, right, anyone who thinks our club isn’t the best is lacking a few points there,” Bicky quipped with a proud smirk.
Asim just ignored Bicky’s remark and continued talking to Archimedes. “How much meat is needed for a single mind point?”
“I’d say about”—Archimedes paused and took a bite—“about seven and a half pounds. Why? You got something to trade?”
“What’s that? Three, three and a half kilos? We got a few lion carcasses that give a strength point for about nine kilos, and we can throw in a few cards and armor to go with it if you’re willing to part with more than just a point or two,” Asim offered.
Archimedes looked like he was about to immediately agree, as the corpse he was on was quite massive, but halfway through opening his mouth to speak, he stopped and looked over at Chedderfield and then Lucy. “Mind points are valuable. I gotta talk to the other two who were fighting with me down here first,” he finally said.
“I’m fine trading a few,” Lucy said. “I need strength anyways.”
“Well, it’s just on you,” Hugh said to Chedderfield. “You good trading us a few kilos?”
Chedderfield liked that he had a say in the issue, but he didn’t like that he felt like he had to have a say in it and that he felt pressured to agree to the trade since everyone else had already seemed to make a deal. A thing to note for him, though, was that the conscriptor was much bigger than a human the same height since it had eight legs. He didn’t know or even want to calculate how much meat he could get out of a single human, but he was positive there were at least 250 pounds of usable meat on that conscriptor. There was no way he’d be able to eat all of that at once.
“What card ya got for trade?” he finally decided to ask.
“We got this one off of a lion,” Hugh held up a card. “Pride of the Pride. It gives every woman you’ve slept with in the last twenty-four hours a bonus to damage as long as they’re within thirty feet of you.”
“NOPE!” Heath said quickly as he joined the conversation. “Don’t trade that one, mate! That card is for me. A man has to have dreams!”
“Heath, mate, you need to get laid first before you can start monopolizing a sex-based card,” Bicky laughed at the man.
“We are not setting up a harem anyway,” Lucy insisted but then looked around at her team, likely noting the ratio of men to women. She turned and hit Archimedes in the shoulder, “Have you been planning this the entire time? There’s like three of us to every guy, and that’s after we sent Silverman and the other women away.” Then as if something had clicked in her mind, “This is why you came back with all those lizard ladies, isn’t it?”
“Well, if it means getting a bonus to damage,” Nguyen started, a coy look in her eyes as she looked at Archimedes. The moment Lucy turned her attention to Nguyen though, she immediately backed up, throwing both hands in the air. “Joking! I’m just joking.”
For a moment Chedderfield could have sworn he’d seen a flash of regret on Nguyen's face as she backed away. But it was gone by the time she turned and addressed him.
“You doing okay, Chedderfield? You need to borrow my gold I’m Not Dead Yet?”
“Oh, please. If you don’t mind. I think I have some broken bones.”
She quickly pulled out the card and handed it to him, and he replaced the Ring of Purity with it. He activated the skill and felt a sense of relief as his body was covered in a green glow. Between that and the cuts of conscriptor steak that Archimedes had handed him, he wasn’t in danger of dying, though it might have felt like it as his bones fused and his flesh knitted back together.
“Ah . . . that’s the stuff,” he said as a sigh escaped him, one that was far too close to a moan for him not to draw odd stares.
“I don’t think I’m ever that happy with a skill cast,” Asim remarked, laughing. “Anyway, the deal. You guys good? We’ll trade you eighty pounds of lion meat for fourteen pounds. Or we can trade even, forty for fourteen, and we’ll throw in a card or some armor? We even have a set that gives a bonus, and one of you could use some pants.” He looked over at Archimedes.
“Awww, don’t make him put on pants,” Lucy grumbled.
“Come on, man, you can throw in more than a pair of pants. Mind is a lot more important of a stat for warriors than strength since it limits skill,” Chedderfield said. “At least throw in . . . five or six bronze cards for merging too.”
“That’s . . .” Asim’s face flickered with annoyance for a moment as he took a deep breath.
“I also don’t think I can eat twenty pounds of meat that quickly . . .” Nguyen said. “Seven. That’ll be a lot easier to handle than twenty.”
“Twenty pounds? I can take that much easy,” Lucy said proudly, causing Chedderfield and a few of the Aussies to snicker.
“Can confirm,” Archimedes added with a full-toothed grin.
“Hey!” Lucy exclaimed, a half smile on her face as she enjoyed the banter.
“But the point stands, the ratio and the stat are both way more favorable for this meat than the lion meat,” Chedderfield insisted, trying to bring the conversation back to the trade. “Throw in six bronze cards for merging as well as the armor set, and the meat’s yours at an even ratio.”
“Fair, but we want sixty pounds for twenty-one then,” Asim replied. “You should already know how valuable armor is.”
“Deal.” Chedderfield stuck out his hand, and they shook on it. After the deal was made, Asim handed over two bronze equipment cards to Archimedes and six bronze cards to Chedderfield. There were three Runners or Walkers and three bone bow cards.
Archimedes took the cards and equipped them with a few simple hand motions. As if by magic, his legs were suddenly covered by very form-fitting green tights, and he suddenly had a green triangle hat with a feather sticking out of it on his head.
Chedderfield felt a wide grin break out across his cheeks as a terrible idea hit him. He quickly tossed his friend a bone bow and remarked, “Here, I think this completes it. Try it out, man.”
With the bow in Archimedes’ hand, laughter erupted from the Aussies, Nguyen, and even Lucy.
Chedderfield felt his laughter bubbling up but kept it tamped down enough to compliment his friend. “Looking good, hermano.”
“You going to start robbing the rich now that you’re wearing those?” Nguyen asked as she wiped tears from her eyes.
“What?” Archimedes responded, clearly not getting the reference.
“She’s just asking if you’re going to be roaming the forest looking for fights,” Lucy explained, furthering Nguyen’s joke.
“Yeah. Are you going to be defending people’s rights now?” Bicky said as Archimedes, still oblivious to the Mel Brooks reference, blinked in confusion.
“What are you guys talking about? When have I ever not helped someone in need?” Archimedes asked, likely thinking they were being serious and saying that, since he profited the most in the group, getting an armor item off the exchange, he had some moral obligation to others now.
“Hermano, relax,” Chedderfield replied. “We both know that when people are in a fix, they should just call for the men in tights. That you’ll . . . knock out any objector’s lights. Right?”
“I don’t understand what’s going on here,” Archimedes admitted with narrowed eyes.
“And that is a loss, mate,” Asim said, patting Arc on the back. “Not knowing Men in Tights? One of Mel Brooks’s greatest movies? Truly a shame.”
Seeing Archimedes open and close his mouth a few times, looking like he was about to say something but couldn’t, while Nguyen and the others snickered at his expense, it was well worth the price of the trade to Chedderfield.
Then the next five minutes were spent with the group using entrails as ropes to tie down and move carts the zombies had been using for dead people, which were now filled with the meat from their kills. The fact the meat processing only took ten minutes was also in part due to the Aussies, who worked incredibly well as a team at cutting up meat, wrapping it, binding it, and storing it. Chedderfield had to admit, out of all the groups he had run into, the Aussies were both the most useful and the most entertaining.
“Welp, that’s all,” Asim said as the group finished binding the last bit of meat. “If we meet again, don’t think ya’ll win the next one though. One defeat is enough.”
“Whatever you say, mate,” Archimedes responded with a terrible Australian accent.
Chedderfield shook his head at Archimedes’s use of the word mate. “Don’t . . . Just don’t do that.”
“Yeah mate, not cool,” Bicky teased.
As they were laughing at that, Chedderfield heard a whistling sound from above him and turned just in time to see something hurtling toward them. “Move!” someone shouted as he flung himself to the side. There was a crash, and dirt flew up in all directions as whatever had come down hit the ground. Dust still hung in the air as Chedderfield came to his feet, his laser pistol in one hand and the spinal whip in the other. Surprisingly, the form that had crashed in front of him did not move, and as the dust settled, he could see that it was one of the giant komodo dragons that had nearly fried Archimedes.
For a moment, he thought that maybe Danielle or Emma, who were still above the pit, might have killed it. Then he saw the deep, saw-like wounds across the winged creature’s back. One of the wings was completely ripped off, and there were large claw slashes and bite marks on the body around the one remaining wing that came from something with a jaw the size of a dinosaur. He felt his gut knot up as he imagined just how terrifying and mobile the thing that killed the evolved komodo dragon had to have been to leave those incredible injuries on a flying monster.
“Fuck. We fighting, or we out, mate?” Asim asked quickly as he looked over at Chedderfield, then the monster, and then up at the sky.
“We’re out! Get your gear and get moving! Something’s killing the fliers,” one of the archers called from atop the pit, prompting the Aussies to take their carts filled with meat and start evacuating the pit as quickly as possible, keeping a close watch on the skies for potential enemies.
“CHEDDERFIELD!” Danielle called out. “We need to move!”
Chedderfield didn’t have to be told twice. He grabbed the end of his cart and started pushing it as fast as he could to the top.