UA3: C12
Chedderfield
Chedderfield shook his head as he read the notification and then dismissed it.
“So . . . how many cores does a base get up to?” Lucy asked as the group read the notification. “I mean, if we get a thousand cores into this base, does that mean . . . Does that mean we have free mechs?!”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I think it might be 1% of the previous 1%. So like . . . a full, proper 1% of the first ten cores but only 1% of the remaining 99% of the next ten cores. It’d keep approaching zero, but it might not ever get there,” Archimedes said. “At least, if I were designing a system, that’s how I would set it. Otherwise, like you said, free mechs. Wouldn’t that be too exploitable?”
“The only mechanized thing we have is the ballista, and that would still require a skill slot and to have the skill slotted, so who knows?” Nguyen shrugged. “It is our place to abuse a system, not ask why they made it easy to abuse.”
“I’m still confused about “Cider and Sushiland.” Is “Sushiland” a sex reference? Is alcoholic cider the key to Sushiland?” Chedderfield asked, only to have Danielle shake her head immediately.
“Don’t be so crass. It’s clearly a reference to the aquarium, and the cider is a reference to this place. You shouldn’t always jump to the first inappropriate remark.”
“No, he was right. I was making an alcohol and sex joke. I was just thinking that if I were a queen, I’d want my king to dine at Sushiland and . . .” Lucy paused and then snickered.
“As long as my queen visits the sausag— Hey, you need to stop making those jokes around the kid,” Archimedes replied and then glanced over and accidentally made awkward eye contact with Emma.
Chedderfield wanted to point out how right he’d been, but given the fact an “I told you so” might reduce his chances of a pleasant time later, he just settled for stating the obvious: “Actually, jokes aside, I took a few hits in that last fight. Anyone got some spare meat on them? Without zombies, I’m kind of out.”
“Excuse me, ya lordships,” the hamster began, “but before you’z all proved yourself in the maze of mechanical minions and bested the soda soldiers, we waz, umm . . . We waz working on stuff we’d like to get back to. If you’z don’t mind, that iz.”
“What?” Archimedes looked over. “I mean, yeah, sure, you can go.”
Despite being dismissed however, the hamster just stood there, looking over at Nguyen, Lucy, and Danielle.
“Yeah, yeah, you can go back to what you were doing as soon as you tell us what it is,” Danielle replied.
The hamster seemed hesitant. “We waz, umm, well—”
“You’z won’t believe what we’re buildin’,” a raccoon said excitedly. “It’s a giant, three-story-tall soda trap that drowns and melts enemies in a vat of super-charged, crazy-carbonated acid! The carbonation keeps the acid circulating faster around the enemies so that the skin and flesh will peel faster and—”
“Nope, nevermind. Forget I asked. Just tell us where the base hub is so we can check it out. We might have upgrades to make,” Danielle said, shaking her head.
“I can show you where that is,” the raccoon said as he led them past the Taste of the World section of the museum and to the Factory of Tomorrow section. “But we’ve already done a lot of upgrades. You wouldn’t believe how many monsters just walk into their death like bada-bing, bada-boom, bada-dead. The more empty and vulnerable the place looks, the faster you find some nobody walking in thinking he can raid the place, only to, uh . . . Kerplooey! If you know what I mean.”
“So . . . you guys have just been luring monsters and . . . probably people . . . in and using traps to kill them?” Chedderfield asked, putting together how their defense system had worked.
“Ey! Just because we don’t have a wall doesn’t mean it wasn’t our place. They shoulda known a place like this would have an owner. Thinking they’re the first person to try to get the tap on the holy soda? Get outta here with that mess.”
“So what did you guys build?” Nguyen pressed the question this time. “You must have at least set up a monster-processing facility, right?”
“Yeah. We had to run a double to handle everything,” the racoon replied. “We’re also capped up on the robotics facility, and the trap-smithing facility, and you’z best believe we bought that energy-production facility. Ya think these lights power themselves? Nope! FREE ENERGY, BABY! AH HA!”
After the racoon explained how their base worked and what their choices were, the hamster led them out of the soda-tasting section and into the middle area.
Even though the whole zone was covered in traps—or at least it had seemed like it was when Chedderfield had first entered the zone—the hamster pulled out a small device and just pressed a button. Once he hit the button, Chedderfield heard what sounded like hundreds of tiny clicks across the floors and through the hamster ceiling.
“What was that?” Nguyen asked, her head swiveling around quickly as she looked at the hamster. “You didn’t activate anything, did you?”
“What? Nah. This is the off switch. If ya hit this button, then the only traps that work are the transportation ones. Like the one that you’z had originally used.” He pointed up toward the hamster tubes in the ceiling. He then showed the group the control, which only had three buttons: “On,” “Off,” and “Travel.” At the moment, the button was set to “Travel.” “If you’z press this button, then you’z can use any of the travel-related traps to save ya time on walking around. Like this.” He stepped onto one of the stairs leading down toward the first floor. The second he put weight on his foot, a click sounded, and the section of stairs turned into a sort of glove as it sprung upward half a second later and sent the hamster flying into the air. As the hamster soared through the sky, a funnel and tube appeared above him, easily pushing him into the newly manifested tube where the fat hamster then slid all the way through and into the factory room.
“The lady can go now,” the raccoon with them said, gesturing for Nguyen. “But you’z two fatsos”—he pointed over at Archimedes and Chedderfield—“are too fat. Lose some weight already.”
“I’m . . . I don’t have any fat on me.” Archimedes looked at his belly, pinching around as he showed he couldn’t find any fat.
“Whatever, ya extra-mayo-on-rye-n’-salami-loving bastard, I couldn’t stuff your super-sized asses in the trunk of an SUV,” the raccoon said, clear hostility on his face.
“Do we need to beat them up again?” Chedderfield asked, feeling a little annoyed with being called fat. “I feel like they need an attitude adjustment.”
“What? Ya wanna go, wise guy? Ya think I can’t take you’z? Just watch. I’m twice as strong as ya! I got 6 strength, ya mook! 6! That’s almost as many times as you’z eat in a day!” The raccoon carried on, his hands gesticulating wildly and moving even more than his mouth.
“Attitude adjustment? Wise guy? Are you two trying to compete for the more ridiculous 70s mafia stereotypes? Cut it out. All he’s saying is those tubes might be too small for you two. I don’t think I even disagree,” Danielle said. “I’ll probably walk for safety too. If they were built for hamsters and raccoons, it makes sense they might not be large enough for people.”
“Whatever.” Chedderfield shrugged and began to walk toward the door.
“That’s right. Take the main door, Mario, ya ain’t fitting through those pipes, or my name ain’t Jimmy!” the raccoon taunted, but when Chedderfield turned to face him again, the raccoon had already stepped on the same trap the hamster had used earlier, rocketing through the sky, into the funnel, and through the tubes sliding into the factory.
“Just focus on the prize,” Archimedes reminded Chedderfield as the two of them watched Nguyen, Emma, Lucy, and a reluctant Danielle use the same tube to reach the factory that the hamster and Jimmy had. “And, I mean, at 6 strength and with that short temper, he’s basically a kid. You don’t want to beat up a kid, do you?”
“Would it be bad if I said that I kind of like killing zombie children over adults because they drop the same cards but are so much easier to kill?”
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“I hate that what you’re saying makes sense,” Archimedes laughed. “I remember we came across a whole petting zoo kinda place in the other world with a bunch of baby dinos, barely taller than my knees standing up . . . and all I could think for the rest of the day was that they tasted so much better than the usual ones. I mean, they had no developed muscles at all. It was like the dino meat just fell off the bones. Freaking delicious.”
“You . . . had baby back dino ribs?”
“I had baby back dino ribs. Had to sneak them though. Leap Frog kept talking about how children were sacred, and after a single bite, I kinda had to agree with her. It was the type of deliciousness that rivaled sacred bacon,” Archimedes said.
“I don’t think that raccoon is going to taste that good though, Undead Delight or no,” Chedderfield grumbled. “He has no muscle or fat.”
“Right? With all that soda, you’d think they’d be the size of beach balls. I mean, all-sugar diets are supposed to kill you, but those raccoons look like they were drawn by an American comic book artist trying to add extra muscles where they don't belong,” Archimedes said. “I think it’s the system.”
“It has to be. The way you’ve been eating, exercise or not, you should have gained like fifty pounds there, hermano. I’ve seen you eat two or three pounds of food in a single battle, and then ask for BBQ sauce at the base the moment you get back.”
“Fair point,” Archimedes replied with a nod as the two finished making their way to the factory, opening the door to reveal the large mechanical paradise. Inside were massive robotic arms on the side of the wall, the kind Archimedes would have expected on a car assembly floor instead of a cola factory, putting together more of the tiny green disc minions that had tried to kill him in the Theater of Pop. Against another wall were two more raccoons wearing large welding masks, working on putting together a large white-furred animatronic polar bear. Large vats also occupied the back section of the bottling factory, and conveyor belts rolled hundreds of glass soda bottles to machines that filled them with the sugary substance, pressurized them, and then capped them. While the two racoons were the only ones working, every place in the factory was busy, automated, producing something and sending it somewhere with the type of perfectly organized flow that was so beautiful it made Chedderfield stop in place.
There was not a single missed beat, no pause in the arms. There was no delay in the conveyor belts or stop in the process. Everything went seamlessly from making one unit to working on the next, and it was amazing.
“Dear God, this place is a true work of art,” Archimedes said.
“It really is . . .” Chedderfield agreed, having to pick up his jaw to finish a sentence.
“Crap! Get Arc out of here!” Lucy called out in a panic from the middle of the room, where the four girls were gabbing. “Once he steps into a factory and touches a machine, it can take weeks to drag him out. He’s too obsessed with this stuff. Trust me!”
“From the look on Chedderfield’s face, I don’t think it’s just Arc,” Danielle noted.
“What?” Chedderfield replied, snapping out of his reverie. “What? No. No, I’m here. What’s going on? What were we doing?” After a couple of seconds, he finally found the base hub.
It stood in the middle of the miniature factory floor, smack dab between two of the automated sections, the one making soda mascots and the one transforming stacks of metal into traps.
Two fully completed large white-furred animatronic polar bears, completed versions of the ones the other two raccoons were working on, were guarding either side of the floating orb and pillar. The robotic bears growled mechanically, but a harsh hissing from the raccoon followed by Jimmy pressing a button on one of the robotic bears’ chests made the soda mascots turn away and continue to scan for threats.
“Here we are,” the raccoon said as he climbed the pillar and started to tap on the orb. He brought up the base information and then the types of buildings and upgrades available, showing it to everyone. “Remember, what we got comes in front of the facility name. What it costs to build a new one or upgrade comes after.”
Building Types
Sustenance-Related Buildings:
Water Filtration [1 Core]
Food Processing [1 Core if Automated]
Kitchen
[1 Unit] Monster Processing [1 Core]
Medicine [3 Core]
[2 Units] Soda Processing [2 Cores]
Crafting-Related Buildings:
Armor Smith [1 Core]
Weapon Smith [1 Core]
[1 Unit] Robotics [1 Core]
[1 Unit] Trap Smithing [1 Core]
Living Facilities:
Restrooms
Showers
Lodging
Common Room
Training Room [1 Core]
Compressor [1 Core]
Sanatorium
Defensive Facilities:
Walls
Automatic Turrets [2 Cores]
Specialty Facilities:
Portal [10 Cores]
Trade Hub [2 Cores]
Garage [5 Cores]
Communication Center [3 Cores]
[1 Unit] Energy Production [Upgrade: 6 Cores]
Repair Facility [3 Cores]
Total Core Value: 13 Cores
Base-Related Faction-Wide Bonuses:
+1.3% increased effectiveness of all consumable buffs
+1.3% reduced resource cost for mechanical summons
Additional Faction-Wide Bonuses:
+1% increased water-traveling speed
+1% increased reproduction speed for aquatic lifeforms
As Chedderfield stared at the wall of upgrades, the genius of the choices hit him like a ton of bricks. The dastardly racoons and hamster had intentionally not built a wall. Instead, they’d opted for trap-filled mazes to kill the monsters that attacked them and then had their robots take the bodies to be processed and formed into more cores they could use to further upgrade the base. It was a completely different tactic from what he and his group had done with the aquarium.
He also noticed that while the otters had an amazing wall, one that was living and regenerating and even had moat options, they just had a wall option. Instead, they had trap-making and robotics, two completely different options than the otter group’s or the options he had seen at the mall. It was now clear that every faction had not only its own unique building designs, but also their own unique building options.
Then, he considered the downside of such a tactic. It relied on farming a bunch of low-level monsters, of which there was no shortage as most of the city had seemed to succumb to what the hell-cursed had done. However, more powerful creatures wouldn’t be contained within the maze, and there were plenty of intelligent monsters that could see through the traps just like his group had.
“This place pairs well with the aquarium. They focused on enough defense to hold the monsters at bay, and we upgraded it to also be able to kill the creatures attacking. This place can double down on that,” Nguyen said.
“What do you mean?” Chedderfield asked.
“Haven’t you ever played any of those tower defense games?” Nguyen asked back.
Chedderfield shrugged. “I guess a couple. You have to protect a base by building different towers along the attacking force's path to kill them.”
“Yeah, but there’s a way to mix in different types of towers and walls so that you can funnel the enemy and slow them down so the defenders can slaughter them.”
Danielle snapped her fingers. “Oh! So instead of building a wall around this place like the aquarium, invest in what it's already good at: making traps and robots.”
“Yes, let each facility specialize in complementary directions,” Nguyen said with a nod. “The Holy Soda Empire can lay out their traps around each place to slow down or damage the dumber monsters that come through. They send out their robots to fight if needed but mainly to collect bodies and process them for more cores.”
Chedderfield looked thoughtful as he added, “It's the aquarium guys that lay down the pain with the turret, fire-spewing crocodiles, and ice-mage otters.”
“The hamster and racoons can even escape to the aquarium for safety if they need to,” Emma added. “I think the museum parking structure is only about thirty feet away from the east side of the aquarium.”
“Oh, we’re gonna need some quid pro quo if we’re gonna be making more traps though,” Jimmy said, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together.
“That’s right, or should we say some squid pro quo, if you know what I mean?” the other raccoon asked.
The two racoons gave each other high fives at their terrible wordplay.
“You guys want squid from the aquarium?” Lucy asked.
Jimmy nodded. “Yeah, squid, fish, clams. Anything fresh. We’re getting a little tired of just eating that candy and chips.”
“Oh, also some water,” the other nameless raccoon added. “You’z guys have water over there, right?”
“Yeah, they invested in a water-filtration system. I mean they had to with all the fish poop they have to filter out,” Danielle explained.
“That’s it. I’m only drinking bottled water and soda from now on,” Emma said with a grimace. “Speaking of which, do you guys think we can take some soda back with us?”
“Oh, the holy liquid? Sure, babe. You’z guys have earned it,” Jimmy said, giving Emma a wink.
“Talking about creatures that got murdered ‘cause they didn’t understand boundaries,” Lucy muttered as she stepped in front of Emma. “Can you guys help us out with moving some bodies? I think with these last couple of attacks we must have killed like five hundred monsters. It’s way more than a single processing facility can handle.”
Jimmy backed up a couple of steps and answered, “No problem. If there’s one thing we know how to do, it’s making a body disappear for good.”
“Yeah, we’d say they’d be sleeping with the fishes, but now we know some fishes and that seems rude,” the other raccoon agreed.
“Sounds like a plan,” Chedderfield said, getting bored with the conversation.
“Crap, I warned you guys. Don't touch that, Arc! Arc! Step away from the machine!” Lucy shouted.
“But . . . But!” Archimedes, who had somehow snuck off during the conversation, was looking rather hurt at being called out by Lucy as he kneeled next to the robotic arms to investigate an open panel and the wires within.
“Arc, don’t make me call Chedderfield and Nguyen to drag you out of here!” Lucy threatened.
“But . . . But . . . I need to know how it works. What the ratios are and—”
Lucy gave him a stern look.
“She’s right, bro,” Chedderfield said. “We gotta go kill crap. You can play with this stuff later when the day is done. You’re the only one who can communicate with the lizards and Chip properly, so you gotta come with us.”
Archimedes looked like he was about to pout as he reluctantly nodded and stood up, giving the machines one last forlorn look as the group left the base.