John once had a fitness tracker once. It had said that he averaged five hundred steps a day.

When he was at work, he would often use a rooly chair to get around instead of walking. John could walk fine. But after more than ten minutes of walking, he would get tired and have to sit down for a bit.

But now he had to walk for one hour continuously. To put it simply. It was hell.

So hellish in fact. That John couldn't do it.

~What are those grey dots?~

His ground. Meet faces. You'll be getting along quite speedily now.

And then they kissed.

"Ummmmm. Are you okay?" Asked Cassandra

John couldn't respond. He was busy catching up on his oxygen debt.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAA. AHHHHHHHHHH. HAAAAAAAAAAA. AHHHHHHHH."

~Breath John. Breath and live.~

"Maybe we should wait for a second and let him rest." Said, Charles

"It's his fault that he's like this. We should just leave the lard man." Echoed an incorporeal voice.

"YIP!"

While John was kissing the ground and wheezing heavily his dragons staunchly defended him.

"YIP!"

"YIP!"

"YIP!"

"Awwwww. But he has such cute pets."

"Yeah, man! Think of the cute animals we'd be leaving behind!" Charles said to empty air.

"Ugh. If majority rules, I guess." The empty air responded with a sound of irate irritation in its voice.

For ten minutes John simply lay there. Until finally he had fully caught up on his oxygen debt.

~Come on man. Stand up.~

With some rocking and struggle, John pulled himself to his feet.

"See. He can barely stand. I don't get how some people can be like this."

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John turned his direction of the voice. A killer's glare was directed at the empty air.

"Be careful what you say. Words can't kill. But people sure can." Said John

"ARE YOU THREATENING TO MURDER ME!!!" Yelled the air

"It's just some friendly advice." Responded John

"YIP!" Stove screamed at the air.

"Sure..."

The empty air's stutter had vanished for some reason.

~Law enforcement doesn't reach that far nowadays. And he's invisible. As long as I can find him I can kill that bitch no problem.~

"AHEM!" Bellowed Charles

"Let's get going." Said, Charles

Everyone nodded and followed along.

There was only a kilometre left of walking. John should be able to manage.

.....

Smoke was billowing into the air. The sound of whimpers was prevalent, and the smell of urine was overwhelming.

They were a few hundred meters away from the troll's base.

"Rob. Go in and investigate for us. Come back and tell us what you find." Said Cassandra while pointing towards the smoke.

~Oh. So she's the leader now huh?~

"Um…. A-alright." Said Rob

Although John and the rest of the group couldn't really tell the difference. It was assumed that Rob went to go investigate.

....

After about ten minutes of waiting Rob finally returned.

He announced his return with a screamed "I'M HERE!" That made everyone Jump out of their skin.

"What did you find out?" Asked Cassandra

"There's about twelve larger Trolls and about twelve smaller Trolls. And there's one really big troll. Like He's almost the size of the lard man."

Although John couldn't see Rob pointing to him it was assumed that he was pointing to him.

"SHUT!" Yelled John

"I SHALL NOT SHUT!" Yelled Rob in response.

Everyone broke out into a fit of giggles. Even John. However, there was still a hint of anger in John's chest at what Rob had said.

After everyone had composed themselves, John finally spoke.

"So. How about you guys take on the the Troll And I'll take on the big one. Pick on things your own size and all that." Said John

"Sure. That sound's like a good idea." Said Cassandra

John let a hollow grin grace his face.

~I like being right. But I really don't want to fight one of those things again.~

It was a conflict of fear and validation.

"Okay. Let's get going." Said Cassandra.

...

Blood. Spurting and spray and dancing in every direction. Flesh. Bouncing and jiggling and exploding in a twisted dance. Terror. Screaming a song so loud that the world itself almost seemed to bend to it.

This was a battle.

Charles Ran through the crowds of Trolls with reckless abandon. He took grievous wounds with every blow but still continued to hack and slash with a grin on his face. He had managed to get a sword even though John had never seen him wielding one.

Cassandra inflicted pain on every troll she could see. She would cut them in the most convenient places and then leave them bleeding out on the ground. They would die slow painful deaths.

Occasionally a troll's neck would just spontaneously snap or a gash would appear on it from nowhere. Those wounds were attributed to Rob or a ghost. Either way, it was convenient.

Then there was John. He stood before a massive troll who was at least two feet taller than him. Meaning it was a veritable giant of a being. It was completely in the nude save for a literal bush that was seemingly glued to its crotch.

It looked at John with a loopy smile on it's face.

"Ugha deega sumcheen quack chansten." Said the troll

"I'm going to eat you alive and there's nothing you can do about it." Responded John

And so the battle began.

The troll jumped forwards and sent a fist flying towards John's face.

John unhinged his jaw while repeating a word in his name over and over.

~Human throat! Human throat! Human throat!~

The fist slid down John's throat hole.

~Crush it.~

His throat condensed with more froce than any BHuman throatB Should.

But it did nothing.