~FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!~
John screamed. His eyes were watering, and his world was bending.
A hand had just been stuck down his throat.
That's right. DOWN HIS FUCKING THROAT!
The trolls could rip him to shreds easily from this position. John may have just done the most stupid thing of his life. I mean. Who even tries to swallow a Troll's arm?
And most likely, it would be the last stupid thing of his life. John didn't have any delusions of survival.
~Wait.~
The troll was looking down at John with a look of utter shock.
Shock doesn't last forever.
John pushed his palm into the troll's chest.
"UGHA!"
With a loud pop, the hand was pulled out of John's throat.
The troll's hand now had a thick sheen of saliva covering it.
It looked down at its hand in disgust.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" The troll let a blood-curtiling scream echo from its mouth.
John sunk into a fighting position as it did so.
~Let's see what I remember about Fight Club.~ John thought to himself.
The troll cocked its fist back and then sent it missing towards John.
~OH! I know what to do!~
John sent his fist flying towards the troll's fist. Back in Fight Club, this tactic had worked like a charm. He would just punch where his opponent punched and keep on punching until their fist shattered. John's were always durable enough to endure, so this tactic almost always worked.
CRACK!
~Shit!~
John turned and looked at his fist. His wrist bones stuck out from his wrist, and his elbow was bent thirty degrees in the wrong direction.
John had just literally self-destructed his arm.
His vision flashed red.
~Wait…..~
Within John's guts was a realization. It didn't matter how.
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He needed to kill this person.
Before they killed them.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Blood-curdling. Mind-bending. The scream of a drug-addled beserker charging senselessly into battle.
"Suffer!"
The troll sent its foot flying forward in a forceful front kick.
John reached out.
~I have to time this perfectly.~
Just a moment before the foot impacted his hand, he closed his palm and pushed down.
Because his position was less disadvantageous, he avoided crushing his hand. Instead, the kick acted as a rocket. He vaulted up on it and was sent John catapulting into the air.
Before John got too far from the Troll, he grabbed its shoulder.
~Now be very careful, John~
As carefully as possible, John used The troll's shoulder as leverage to change his direction. He just barely managed it.
John was sent flying face-first toward the Troll's skull.
"UGHA"
The sound of crunching bone echoed througout the battlefield.
John began to fall.
~I don't think that was a good idea.~
Half of John's forehead bulged out an inch above the other. The skin going across his forehead was pink and thin.
The troll, on the other hand, had an ugly paste of flesh for a nose now and had a jaw that was four inches to far to the right.
~But it was worth it.~
PLOP!
John's back slammed into the ground.
His world grew twisted and shapeless. Dark shadows and bloody hues covered everything he could see.
John looked up at the troll. Although its jaw was so disfigured, it couldn't hold even a facsimile of an expression. John could still see the smile in his eyes.
The troll bent onto its knees and repeatedly sent blows into John's corpulent body.
Pain. That became the song of John's world as the troll hit him.
It was a shimmering, shivering pain. Where each stilted moment had a wildly different level of agony. The pain ranged from none to infinity.
~Hurt. Hurt. It's woven through me.~
John's world began to twist.
The red hues and the shadows spread like a pestilence. Every image. All of the system of data that made John's reality.
It all warped.
Then came the sounds. Rather than the continuous smacking of flesh, a new sound took hold.
Children's laughter. Trumpet's songs. The sound of a man pounding on drums like a deranged monkey.
The images around John shifted. He was in a bloody cellar.
Before him was a small girl wearing a deep black sundress.
"So you're going to die. Just like that? Coming from a race that was born from the brink. That sound's genuinely comical." Said BSlothB
John scowled.
"I don't wanna die." Said John almost automatically.
BSlothB grinned.
"Then don't. It's as simple as that."
The cellar shifted.
...…
A fist accelerating at YOUR GOING TO DIE! Meters per second is heading towards a supremely massive man who lies prone on the ground—assuming that all variables such as gravity, friction, Slight ripples in the space-time rubber and etc. apply. How likely is it for the man to die?
Likelihood = 100%
~Likelihood = 0%~
A truth and a lie thought for the same spot in reality. And paradoxically…..
The lie won.
"UGHA!"
A foot slammed into the troll's chest. It was sent flying back.
John stood to his feet. His shadow had grown horns, and his eyes were red with blood.
"I don't wanna die. So, please. Fill my quota. Die for me." Said John
The troll scowled—John grinned.
He leaped forward.
John had one arm and two legs.
The troll had two arms. Two legs. And a decidedly ugly mug.
The odds weren't in John's favour.
Or at least that's how it seemed.
The troll jumped forward. It was three feet taller than John. So, it had serious leverage. It could punch straight down and thus put more body weight into its attacks.
But that leverage also worked against it.
John shifted to the side as the troll's fist fell.
John reached up and grabbed the troll's bicep. He pulled.
The troll fell.
~Every journey begins with the first step. And every murder does too.~
John hopped on top of the troll's prone body. He put his shoe atop the troll's skull.
His foot sunk.
The troll was dead.
John had won.