Well, after finally taking my shower, you know, after waking up, I checked some stuff to make sure everything was running smoothly.

The pretty lady, whose name happens to be Rebecca by the way, stayed at my house for some odd reason that no one will tell me. She watches over Lucy, Scratch, and her own little tyke, Sarah. Did I forget to mention she was the mother I helped the other day? There’s too many females in my house. Does this mean I am finally a family man?

Probably not, since I am dead, after all.

With all the zombies walking around, most other potential community members stay away. But this works great since I can find them and watch them to make sure they’re not bad. I hide my actual appearance and ‘safely’ lead them back to base.

I mean, there was no danger to begin with. The zombies don’t attack unless provoked and actually just tell me if they saw a living person. I’m getting really good at wording my commands.

We created similar machines to the bikes. Some are still used for exercise like the treadmills while some are literally for gathering power like the cranks and levers. With this, we have so much power that over 5 homes can run power for most of the day everyday no problem. And we are only using four houses! One house has been restructured to be a mess hall and rec center. That’s where the workout area and game room are.

My house is the Headquarters, for some reason. Pisses me off every time they go to my kitchen to discuss important matters. Because they usually make me come, too. The other two houses were remade into barracks. One for the guys and one for the girls. There are so many girls because most of the guys died in the recent bandit fight.

Now the guys don’t have to fight over their favorite girl. I paid attention, and no one seems to look at Rebecca which makes me happy. Though every time she gets mentioned, someone shushes the person who said her name and gesture towards my house…

Wait…

I approach my knife buddy and shotgun buddy.

“Hey, what are your names?”

“Wha…huh? Uh…David?”

“Chance.”

Hmm, shotgun buddy is a little slow, huh. No, it’s David now.

“What is the problem, Sir?”

“Whoa, calm down there. Just Boss, Leader, Jefe, Father, or even Big Boss works. Sir sounds too formal.”

“Why not just use your regular name, Andrew?”

“Well, David, because it’s boring.”

“Oh…”

Knife buddy talks again, or rather, Chance.

“What did you need, Sir?”

Heh, he must be military, or something. Raised by Spot, probably.

“What’s wrong with Rebecca?”

“”Huh?””

Got ‘em both. Maybe I am misunderstanding something here.

“Is there something wrong with her?”

“Not that I can think of, And…Boss…”

“Then why can you not talk about her?”

“Oh…uh…”

“Because she is your woman.”

“Chance! What the heck?!”

“She is?”

Great, now they look like I just ate a guy right in front of them. Although, in my situation, it might not have been all that strange.

“But…she lives with you.”

“And she sleeps at your house.”

“Can a zombie like me even copulate with a living woman?”

“”…””

This is awkward. Maybe something to lighten up the mood.

“Well, if you find out, let me know! Hahaha...Don’t tell Rebecca.”

Hmm? They are looking behind…me…shit.

“Heeeey~! How’s it going?”

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Why was she standing behind me?!

“Uh huh…pretty good. Especially when an ugly zombie asshole seems to want to sleep with me. Hmph!”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Thud!

Oh! So this is the infamous Orz!

“Boss!”

“Sir!”

Oh my aching never beating heart, why must you break twice? My face is wet, am I crying? I thought I could handle most abuse, even more so now that I became a zombie, but hearing such terrible words from a woman I was crushing hard on hurts a lot.

While still laying down, I order some zombies to come take me away. It was a good thing she left after what she said, I wouldn’t want her to see me like this.

Shiiiiiiiiit…my fifth rejection…how pathetic can I be? Even after death I am unpopular.

Great, thank you, Tragedy. You are here with me as well. Wonderful. I can feel your power coursing through my dried up veins. Huuuuh…hooooh…I hate this…

After being carried like a sack of potatoes, I had the zombies set me down. I sent them away for a little, because it still felt odd to cry in front of others. What? I don't do well with rejection. Hmm, I don't recognize this place, how far have I gone?

“Who’s there?!”

Oops. Sorry innocent passerby. It’s just me, the pathetic BOSS. Defeated by one sentence. Don’t mind me and go about your life.

“A zombie? I thought this area was cleared! Good, now I might show up on the broadcast!”

Dude, why talk to yourself? People will just be weirded out all the more. Isn’t that right, me?

Yep. He’s getting closer, but I don’t want to actually kill him. For all I know, he is trying to do something. Let’s just let him kill one of my henchmen. One of the ten from last night, since I got attached to the Amigos.

“Shit! Another one?! I better go return and tell the others! We can hunt over here!”

Crap. He left. Time to follow. To distract myself from my misery. He didn’t even kill my henchman.

Crap, maybe I should have brought some weapons. Oh well. I feel a little stupid right now.

I slowly follow him like a walker would through the suburbs as we see a sort of badly made fort like house. Time to hide.

The guy didn’t even notice me leaving. I watched as he went up to the door and knocked a specific pattern.

The door opens and I see a big man carrying an automatic rifle strapped at his side. He is definitely not practicing gun safety. Up, man! Up! Keep the barrel up, not aiming at your toes!

Pssh, untrained moron.

The door closes, but there are still windows. Not many, and the few that aren’t boarded up probably have traps for those who try to sneak in. I can hear them arguing about finding me and my minion, but I quickly hid in the nearby trees when someone came to the window. The guy turns back around and I can see his exaggerated movements as he slaps the other guy upside the head.

These guys must have been clearing out the area frequently, since they were looking for more zombies. I wonder how many are bounties? I check the news, but the rifle man doesn’t seem to be on the broadcast. Maybe I should check the bounty list. Ehh, it can wait.

I wait and watch a little longer, but still don’t see what’s going on. Maybe they are discussing stuff?

Oh wait, the monitor. It’s buzzing.

I guess they were waiting. Not everyone takes advantage of the monitor to cause chaos, right?

Although, I could probably do something. But I won’t since I don’t know if these guys are good or bad.

The first shows these guys and my two new friends David and Chance as they kill zombies or hunt down bandits. These guys here seem more and more like zombie hunters, not bandits. Just poorly trained.

“Now it’s time for our Daily Tragic Tale! Poor BOSS, he falls in love just to get rejected again! Wallowing in despair he distracts himself with a journey! Look! Here he is now!”

God FUCKING DAMMIT! I got to get out of here! You can see that I am looking at these guys’ base clearly! I can already here clattering as they start to chase after me.

This was a bad idea! I should have checked the bounty list!

Oh look, a rubber band. Let me make a slingshot and cover some acorns in my blood. Let’s see if I can stop these guys from killing me!

Although I doubt it. Let’s hope I can MacGyver my way out of this!