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The Soul of MorningStar
Chapter 38.5 A psychiatrist's work part 3 (Not edited)

Chapter 38.5 A psychiatrist's work part 3 (Not edited)

I woke up in the bus that led to TownCity. Phantoms pains racked my body. I could still taste the blood in my mouth even though all my injuries had disappeared. 

I didn't lie to Akira when I said that dying wouldn't log you out of the game. The only way out was the button on the side of the diner. I slumped on my seat as I watched Franz and Igor. They didn't seem to notice that their surroundings had changed. Igor screamed and  banged his head on the seat in front of him. Franz scratched himself to a bloody mess. The only one who was oblivious to the desperate situation was the driver whistling with the radio.    

All of us wore casual clothes. When one died in TownCity, he respawned into the bus and his avatar was reset to what it was at the first connection. Simply put, none of us could use the StaViCon avatar again until we enabled it on the option tree. 

This simple fact fed all the fears that I didn't dare to voice. How could I help Akira when I couldn't stop him from harming me ? The only sliver of chance I found was to log out. But to do this, I had to click on a button that was hidden on a tile outside the diner when an out-of-control teen was wrecking havoc and wanted me dead. 

“Last stop TownCity. Last stop Town City.” The speaker inside the bus announced over the engine noise and the radio.

The bus stopped in front of the destroyed gas station. The driver didn't say anything. He waited patiently for us to get off. It might have something to do with what was happening in town because usually he would have urged us to leave.

Smoke rose darkening the raising sun. Standing on the sidewalk in front of what was left of the gas station, the town felt desolate and deserted. No sound came from it. Nothing moved. The saddened peace invaded my mind. A pang of guilt and sadness pierced my heart.

I looked back to see that Franz and Igor hadn't moved from their seats in the bus. I shook my head in resignation and made my way to the town. I had to find the log out button and let everyone leave this world. My resolve was firm but it didn't get me far. 

A large part of the diner had crumbled. I stood in front of the rubble, eyes wide. I trembled, my feet couldn't hold me anymore. The place where the button should be... had been destroyed. 

Tears streamed down my face again. Disbelief and fear dominated my mind. I crawled to the fallen building. With shaking hands, I pulled out one tile after the other. Some were broken, others intact but the one I was looking for wasn't in sight. 

What should I do? It's not here. This litany in my mind made me numb to pain. Scratches appeared on my fingers. Blood made them slippery. Panic was more and more present as I searched frantically.  

“So it was actually true.” I closed my eyes and shivered as the cold voice froze my surroundings. 

“Akira, y-you have to stop.” My voice quivered as I tried to reasoned with him.

“Stop? Are you really telling me to stop? Ah... Fuck it.” 

I felt my body levitate from the ground. I struggled fruitlessly. 

“Akira, stop! Please.” I begged but it was useless.

My pleads fell on deaf ears as my body slammed down on the ground. 

“I'm curious.” His calm voice contrasted with his actions and made me feel even more fear. “Why me? I've never done anything to you nor did I met you before today.”

His question didn't receive an answer because I didn't have it. The reasons for my actions were selfish and self-serving. Saying it out loud would only made him angrier. 

I rose again in the air to once again slammed down on the ground.

“I'm sorry.” I repeated it for as long as I could. 

I spitted blood. My bones broke. Tears dried under the pain I felt. A sliver of rebelliousness came to my mind. Wasn't he going too far? What I did didn't deserve that much hurt, did it? As fast as it came, it disappeared in a wave of guilt.  

“I-I'm s-sorry.” I felt life seeping out of my body.

“Supreme healing.” My injuries healed, my mind cleared and my dance through the air as I repeatedly smashed on the ground started all over again.

Stolen story; please report.

Minutes or hours passed when he suddenly stopped. He took out a sword. He slashed at every bit of skin he could see. The cuts weren't deep but their large numbers and the blood that I lost made me dizzy. 

"Aw! We can't let bleed out, can we?"

He threw several ball of fire at me. They weren't strong enough to kill me but I was burned badly wherever they landed. The pain was excrutiating and the water he threw at me made it even more acute. I couldn't talk anymore. I was a whimpering bloody mess on the floor. I couldn't even keep track of what he was doing. Only his calm voice and the pain registered in my mind.   

Emergency log-out. StaViCon laws have been broken. Authorities have been informed. 

“Finally.” His dark voice muttered. 

The scenery disappeared around me and I woke up back in my house. Two men surrounded me.

“Wha-” I cried the words I wanted to say didn't come out. 

“Don't panic. We're paramedics. Do you know your name?” 

I didn't quite understand what happened. I was drenched in sweat, my heart pounded in my ears. 

I was back to reality, I was out of TownCity but the fear didn't leave. I felt like Akira was waiting in every shadow to make me pay once again for what I did. My respiration shortened. I didn't get enough air in my body. Darkness pulled at me and drowned me.

The next time I awoke, I was in a hospital room. Stephan leaned against the wall in front of me.

“Stephan!”

I shivered as his icy gaze raked over my body. With slow steps, he came near my bed. His left hand extended, he grabbed my throat and tightened. I couldn't breathe. I struggled. Tears came to my eyes. My chest burned. I scratched his hand but his grip was strong.

“I trusted you.” His words were like a slash at  my heart. 

“I-I'm sorry.” Darkness crawled at the corner of my sight. 

He let up before I passed out. I took deep breaths. I sobbed. Fright and guilt battled to dominate me. A slap to the face brought me back to my senses. I stared in shock.

“Don't freak out just yet.” He patted my cheek like I was a kid. “I have a choice for you. For whatever reasons Akira likes you and doesn't want you to end up in jail. So you are going to play games with Akira AND if anything and I mean anything happens to him again, I'll skin you alive.” 

I sobbed loudly as he left the room. My thoughts were in chaos. My life had changed but I didn't know of the worse had passed or if it had yet to come.

****

I couldn't sleep. Each time I closed my eyes, he was here, blaming me, hurting me. I ran, I begged and I cried but it didn't change anything. He was still there, I couldn't get away from him.

My sobs filled the hospital room where I stayed. I refused to see anyone. After Stephan left, it was like something broke in me. The shame and the fear were too much. The doctor and nurses rushed inside the room. They tried to pulled me out of shock but it didn't work.     

I  heard them say that my mind had shut down. I  wanted to scream that it was false but the words didn't get out. I just closed my eyes hoping that sleep would free me. It didn't. 

Their words echoed in my head. Physically, nothing is wrong with the patient. Her mind has shut down to protect itself. 

It wasn't true. I was here, I could hear them but why couldn't I say it. I wanted to scream but my body didn't listen to me. I tried  to calm down. I was a psychiatrist, I could understand what was happening to me if I thought about it but I couldn't. Every time a noise sounded around me, my thought went to Akira and  Stephan. I feared them. They were like monsters wanting to eat me. 

"If she doesn't respond by tomorrow she would have to be admitted." 

No! I coudn't go to a mental hospital. No please. Listen to me.

No one answered my pleas as no one could hear me.