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The Soul of MorningStar
Chapter 38.5 A psychiatrist's work part 2

Chapter 38.5 A psychiatrist's work part 2

A.N: Hi! Thx for reading. Change of plans: there will be a 38.5 part 3. I will post it with chapter 39 next week. These 2 chapters will mark the end of the TownCity arc. One will show how it ends in Jennifer point's of view and the other in Akira's point of view and explain all he did since chapter 38. See you next week. 

The throbbing of my head matched the rhythm of my heart. The coldness of the hard floor seeped in my body. The dust tickling my nose woke me up with a start. I sat up disorientated. My sight was blurry, when it cleared I still couldn't see anything. I was in a dark room. An inspection of my surroundings showed that I was alone and that there weren't any doors nor windows.

“What am I supposed to do now?” I asked out loud. No answer came.

I patted my ear. My earpiece was gone. I paled. My coworkers couldn't contact me and Akira was nowhere in sight.

“Hey ho!” My voice echoed in the room but still no one answered me.

I took deep breaths to soothe the fear that bubbled in my chest. If I came in, there must be a way out. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness but there was still no way out that I could see. I didn't know how long I stayed unconscious. 

I waited a good 2 hours before deciding to get out. I knew that it was against the rules to use the equipment or skills gained from other games but I equipped a laser gun and aimed at a wall. One shot. Two shots. Three shots. The wall crumbled. Before going out, I put on the form-fitting silver suit all fighters wore in the game Star Explorers.

If any of the townspeople saw me, they would have a heart attack. Standing at the side of the gas station, I had a good view of the town. Or more precisely what was left of it. The forest was on fire. Buildings were destroyed. People ran down the streets screaming as if they were getting murdered. Gun shots sounded. Some of the men shot down their friends and family members. 

I stared in shock at this scene of chaos. I went inside the town. A bullet zipped by my face. I activated the energy shield that was on my right arm. I debated stopping the shooters but assessing the situation was of utmost importance.

With a thought, blast of air shot out of my boots, my feet got off the ground. I glided to the house where my coworkers were at. When I arrived, the house was a pile of rubble. 

“Igor! Franz! Felix!” I called their name but no one  responded. 

A huge explosion sounded at the west side of the town. I fell on my back as the blast reached me. Another one near the gas station where I had been before made me feel fright. If I still had been there, I would have died a horrible death. That was if I did die. Because there could be a chance to get injured without dying. The thought of the pain I could have felt was crippling. 

I didn't know what was going on but I had to go all out. 

“My name is Bunnyblue.”

Bunnyblue activated.

Power output stabilized 10%...

30%...

60%...

80%...

100%...

All system online.

A blue light emanated from my belt. A man-size mobile suit enveloped my body. It looked like a man-size gundam. It enveloped me from head to toe.The suit was mainly blue except for the bunny ears, the feet and the hands that were  white. The eyes of the suit were yellow. It gave off the feeling of a naughty mechanical bunny ready to rip your head off. 

The excitement I first felt when I won the suit in a dungeon in Star explorers was still present.  

Star Explorers was a game developed by Gravity corp. One of the top gaming company in the world with Heretia who developed Old Ages Online and Ages of the Gods.  The name Star Explorers was pretty self-explanatory about what the game was about: you can explore the stars. 

At first, I didn't like the game. I played it because I heard Stephan did. But soon enough, I fell in love with It. The advance in technology, the history of the different planets, the excitement of battles when you're attacked by space pirates, the lack of gravity that gave you the feeling of freedom. God, I missed that game. 

But since I started working on this experiment, I had no time for it. So now that I was having a chance to use the equipment I played with in my favorite game, I was feeling ecstatic. I didn't feel as vulnerable as before. My courage even made an appearance. 

16 video bots deployed.

With a thought, miniature fireflies came out of my greaves. They allowed me to see what was going on without being on the front-lines. Their range was low as they could only be at 600 meters away from me but they could see a fly taking a shit 2 miles away.

I divided them into 4 groups of 4. The first group went where the explosions originated, the second went to the south, 

the other to the north and the last one I sent them in the sky to get a bird-view of the situation.

There was no sign of Akira and Felix but what I saw confirmed my suspicions. 2 of my co-workers had gone berserk and were using their StaViCon avatar to fight. However, who they were fighting was a mystery. 

The townspeople had fled away from them. Igor who was the leader of the team was a magician. He cast spell all around him like he was preventing someone from coming closer but there was no one. Franz who was a sword man was swinging his sword with no opponents in sight. He doubled over like he received a belly strike but I didn't see anything.

“Bots. Thermal vision.” If an invisible opponent was fighting them I would be able to see who it was with thermal vision as it allowed me to see the difference in temperatures. 

Thermal vision activated.

There was nothing. Well, there was a high fluctuation of temperature around them but that was because of Igor's spells.  What I meant was that there weren't anyone near them. They were fighting air.

I rushed on the scene. The fire cast a red glow on the destruction my colleagues brought to the town. Smoke filled my sight. The closer I got, the better I could hear them.

“I'll kill you! Kill! Kill!!!” Franz had a crazed look on his face. 

Igor wasn't any better. He cast spell all over the place. Some hit Franz but the latter didn't seem to notice as he was too caught up in fighting his non-existent adversary. Others came close to me but I easily dodged them because they weren't meant for me.

“Igor! Franz!” I called them but they didn't answer. It was like they didn't hear me. 

Suddenly, they both stared at me. They expressions were grim as they tightened their grip on their weapon. 

“Mad dash.” Franz, the swordman  rushed at me with a speed I couldn't avoid. 

His shoulder connected with my solar plexus. Even with a mechanical suit protecting me, the hit made me fly to the closest building or what remained of it. I smashed into a half destroyed wall. 

The pain that I should have felt normally was nowhere to be found. The armor did his job in protecting me. As soon as I got up, however, a fireball hit me.

Defense down to 70%.

I grit my teeth as the message appeared on the screen of my visor. From their 2 attacks, I lost 30% of my armor defense. I didn't know why they were attacking me but I couldn't stay without doing anything.

32 Laser bots deployed.

Miniature fireflies came from my arm guards. They flew in formations of 8. Half went to Franz while the rest went to Igor. With a thought, laser beams shot at the swordman and the magician. 

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“Warrior's  might!” The swordman countered the first one with a slash but the rest hit him on the chest and the legs. He fell on the ground moaning in pain. 

“Mana shield.” The beams aimed at the magician crashed into an invisible wall. “Ice spikes!”

Attack incoming!!

My reaction time was immediate. I dodged to the left. A 2 meter-high ice spike came out of the ground where I had been. I dodged to the right as another one came at my feet.  

Bots 12 bots destroyed.

For several minutes, I danced left from and right avoiding the attacks he threw at me. I regretted that the suit didn't have an automatic attack feature like some suits I heard about. I wasn't good at multi-tasking. While avoiding, I couldn't focus enough to pull a solid attack or to control the bots out of Igor's range.

Igor didn't have the same problem I had as he could attacked me and the bots at the same time. 

When the spells slowed down, I assumed that his mana was low. I took the chance to engage Igor in close range combat. I had never seen him fight before, but I hoped that he was like most magicians: useless at close combat. But I was wrong.

As soon as I got in range, he swatted me away with his staff. Off guard, I didn't react in time and got blasted back. I jumped back on my feet and rushed at him again. I didn't pay attention to how much damage I received. We exchanged several blows but I didn't have the advantage.

I put distance between us. I thought of the 20 remaining laser bots and I aimed in his direction. The 20 beams fused into one strong shot that pulverized his mana shield.

Covered with black soot and a haggard expression, Igor dropped his staff. 

“Ahhhhhhhh!” He screamed as put his hands on his ears. 

His scream was filled with so much pain and sadness that tears streamed down my cheeks.

“Igor!” I screamed his name hoping to bring him back to his senses.

“Ahhh!” He kept on screaming. 

Out of the blue, he stopped. Relieved, I was about to go to him when he got on his knees with his head on the ground. He raised his face to the sky and with force, smashed his forehead on the concrete. 

I stared in shock, immobile. It was the first time I saw something like that. What happened to him? 

Franz for his part dug into his wounds with his fingers. He had a relieved smile on his face like the pain he felt was his savior. 

“Franz!” I felt sick as he pulled his intestines out of his belly.

Bile rose in my throat. I deactivated my mobile suit. I grumbled on the side, throwing up everything that had been in my belly. Even that wasn't enough, I dry-heaved for several seconds when shots rang.

*Bang*   *Bang*   *Bang*

I turned my head to my 2 colleagues. They laid on the ground, two bullets holes in their heads. Tears streamed down my cheeks like rivers in a desert. The smoke stung my puffy eyes. I hiccuped. I didn't know if I could bear this situation. 

Fighting didn't scare me too much but the unknown of the situation was what I feared the most. 

*Ka-chak* 

I felt the muzzle of a rifle at the base of my neck.

“Don't move.” A man with a cold voice said behind my back. 

Did I have the time to reactivate my mobile suit before he could blow my brains? 

“Stop! She can help!” I recognized Felix's voice. 

The rifle was lowered. I breathed a sigh of relief as my life was removed from immediate danger.

“Come, we can't stay here.” Felix helped me to get up and dragged me with him as he ran through the deserted and destroyed streets. 

His companion who had leveled the rifle at my neck was Arthur, one of the town's policemen. It didn't take long for me to  guess where they wanted to take me.

“Wait! We have to find Akira.”

“We can't! He's the one responsible for everything.” I was shocked at what he said.

Akira did all that? How? He wasn't a saint but alone, he couldn't do more damages than all the other patients combined, right? He was just a kid, Stephan's little cousin who we had to save, right? That couldn't be happening.

Suddenly, an immense pressure pushed us to the ground.

“Looky, looky here what the tide had brought us in. Isn't this my supervisor or isn't this the freaking lying pathetic bitch who brought me in that world to get tortured?”  At the beginning, the voice was cheerful  but gradually, the voice got darker and cold.  

“A..Akira.” My voice trembled. I knew that he had all the reason in the world to be angry with me. 

I betrayed his trust. I was his doctor, I was supposed to help him get better but from what happened in town, I made him worse. I failed him.

I cast my eyes down in shame. All of this happened because of me.

Was my job worth what I did to him? No. The answer resounding loud in my mind.

“I'm sorry.” I sobbed pitifully.

“You're sorry? Do you seriously think that I will buy that. All you ever did was lie. Your words had no worth.” Each word he said stabbed at my heart. 

Since I was a child  I always dreamed to be a doctor. At first I tried medicine but I was bad at it, then I went on to psychiatry thinking that if I couldn't heal the body maybe I could heal the mind of people. 

I wasn't any better than in medicine  but I still could fake my way through the courses and exams. I wasn't the best but I wasn't the worse either. I thought about giving up so many times. I felt useless. My thoughts were on a dark path but in the end, I didn't give up. Stephan helped me see that I would hate myself if I gave up before giving my all. The support he gave me at that time helped me rise from my worthless self. 

After graduation, I lost contact with Stephan but I thought that as long as I stayed in town and worked diligently, we could see each other again. What I didn't count on was the difficulty I had to establish myself as a psychiatrist.

I barely had any clients. The ones I had were recommended by prison authorities and I couldn't charge them a lot of money because one, they didn't have it,  and two, I was a newbie.

Crippled with debts I amassed during my college years, I felt grateful when I was proposed a job in a research program. I didn't really understand the goal of  the experiment or why they chose me but I didn't care. I could pay my rent, buy food and start repaying my debts. 

When Stephan called, I finally thought that I made it. I had a well-paid job and with him back, my personal life would get better. How could I have imagined that everything would be destroyed by my incompetence?

Feet came into my sight as I still knelt with eyes cast downwards. 

“Aren't you going to look at me? You're supposed to be my supervisor, aren't you? Well, supervise me.”

“I'm sorry.” They were the only words that could get out of my mouth. “I'm sorry.”

“Were you sorry when I was afraid out of my mind because of your lies?” He gripped  my jaws tightly. “Were you sorry when they put me in a goddamned cage like a mindless animal? No! You were to busy congratulating yourself about a good job done, weren't you?”

His fingers dug into my skin. The sound of my breaking bones couldn't pull me away from his gaze. I did that. I filled his eyes with sadness, pain and betrayal. 

I remembered the cocky boy whose eyes held loneliness and fear. The boy who gave himself a strong facade by being contrary. The boy who trusted me and whom I betrayed.  I killed him, I killed him. A cry of despair came out of my throat but only gurgles could get out as my jaw was broken. I couldn't breathe. I panted, my body fell to the ground as I laid at the feet of the boy I wronged. My body twitched for the last time as I vowed to right the wrong I had done.  

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