PART 1

Day eight of our vacation.

We were slowly but surely inching towards the end of our stay in Elysium, but it didn't mean there weren't still things to be done, both of the 'beach episode' and the 'training arc' variety. Today, we were focused on the latter.

I'd already made a small trip back home with Snowy to pick up a few things and to check on Tajana and Sir Roland. Needless to say, it was incredibly awkward, but I pretended to be oblivious for the time being and we quickly left the scene before they could drag us into any embarrassing shenanigans. The rest of the morning was fairly uneventful, save for another volleyball mini-tournament I graciously avoided, and so we reached the current time, where I was standing inside the bubble of the training ground and watching a battle unfold.

"Angie! Support Penelope!" Josh barked, and his girlfriend yelled an enthusiastic 'On it!' from high up in the air, followed by a barrage of arrows.

In the meantime, armour-guy raised his shield high, emitting a concave dome to block the incoming missiles. Of course, due to the power disparity, he wouldn't have had a bat's chance in hell stopping Angie's arrows, but since this was just training, everyone was limiting themselves a bit.

Still, his shield soon broke when the class rep finished casting and a small fireball exploded against the dome, cracking it and staggering armour-guy in the process.

"You're wide open!" Penny exclaimed as she rushed in to capitalize on the development, and while she was 'only' in her Uniformer, she was still moving so fast it was hard to follow her movements with the naked eye.

She came to a sudden halt in front of armour-guy, legs apart and with her zweihander resting on her shoulder, and she was just about to swing it like a baseball bat (which, in and of itself, would've probably earned her a scolding from Dame Morgana) when hammer-lad burst into the scene and parried her with the head of his eponymous hammer, and then a series of shots from midriff-woman forced her to retreat.

"Where's my support!" my sister cried out in alarm, prompting Angie to yell in the sky.

"I'm a bit busy here!" She dived down, closely followed by wetsuit-chap and sci-fi-dude on her heels. Ammy seemed to be backing her up now by casting some kind of multi-coloured spray in their direction, but the Celestials effortlessly dodged it mid-air.

"I've got you!" Josh leapt forward to stand between Penny and the duo of armour-guy and midriff-woman, just in time to deflect an arrow (more of a mini beam-attack, really) from tunic-man hanging out in the back and sniping with his huge bow from a safe distance. "Press the advantage!"

Like that, the two of them rushed forward in unison and clashed with the two Celestials on equal terms, all the while Ammy in the background was forced to disengage from Angie's side of the fight and was got caught up in a hit-and-run skirmish with uniform-bloke and facemask-fella.

Despite being outnumbered two-to-one, the four of them were holding themselves admirably against the Praetorian Guards. Though again, just a reminder, but nobody was using their full power. Everyone had either Barriers, Wards on their gear, or both, plus we were in Elysium where you couldn't shake a tree without a healer falling out of it, it was better to be safe than sorry.

"Argh! Stop chasing me!" Angie cried out in frustration and, while flying backwards, let loose a series of arrows at her opponents. She followed that up with the familiar Celestial spell that summoned a bunch of semi-transparent exploding swords and began carpet-bombing her corner of the training grounds.

"I did it!"

The elated exclamation of the class rep drew my attention next, where she was sitting on the shoulders of Petra and retreating, leaving her own adversaries in the dust. Or rather, the mud, as she somehow transmuted a part of the floor into a sticky brown substance, and facemask-fella was currently in the process of trying to drag his comrade out of it.

The only reason why she couldn't capitalize on their vulnerability was because tunic-man shifted his attention to her, and so she had to stay on the move to avoid his arrows. This, of course, meant that armour-guy and midriff-woman lost his support, and so the two of them were now on the back foot against the combined assault of Josh and Penny.

…

On second thought, I had to revise my earlier statement. Despite only outnumbering them two-to-one, the Praetorian Guards were doing an admirable job combating the four of them. It wasn't good news though; the whole point of today's exercise was to work on the guys' teamwork, now that their individual training sessions already concluded, and while there was some improvement, the only one who felt like he was even trying to act tactical was Josh.

It was a bit of a head-scratcher, really, but also somewhat understandable from a Doylist perspective. Angie, Ammy, and even Penny (as hard as it was to believe) were all 'heroines' in the Simulacrum's original scenario. Not only that, but the first two were more of a MacGuffin, being Deus and the Conduit respectively, so there was a good chance they were either never supposed to fight in a team, or they were meant to be busted OP like Deus back during the assassination fiasco and just demolish all opposition through sheer firepower. In other words, they were never 'meant' to engage in teamwork.

That left only Penny, and while she was better at that than the rest…

"Hyah!"

"Hey! Watch it!" Josh griped as he slipped under her wide-arching swipe.

"Then don't be in the wa— Ow!"

She was shield-bashed in the side by armour-guy for her trouble, and would've been a prime target for midriff woman if Josh didn't jump between the two of them, cutting down the incoming magitech projectiles before engaging her in melee.

Yeah, that was the problem. Both of them were the hot-headed types who would rush into the thick of the battle, and while Josh made strides to be a bit more tactical, there was still room for improvement. It's just that… maybe this whole approach was wrong, from the get-go.

Staying on the Doylist side, it was pretty much mandatory for the protagonist to do the heavy lifting in combat. They didn't necessarily have to be the strongest individual, but they needed to be the ones to fight the final big bad and win. Preferably without too much plot armour involved.

In other words, maybe I should've focused specifically on Josh alone in preparation for our 'final arc', so to speak… but then as the Praetorian Guards just demonstrated, teamwork was also a great force multiplier, and there was something inherently satisfying about a well-oiled team overcoming an enemy much stronger than themselves. I still couldn't decide which was the more efficient approach, so I was trying a mix of both. I could only hope that I wouldn't end up in one of those 'trying to ride two horses at once' situations.

In any case, the team exercise was getting way too chaotic, so I decided to end it for now. I clapped my hands, and while I didn't have any fancy sound amplification on me as I did on my Bel outfit, everyone stopped in short order and lined up in front of me, with Angie being the last straggler.

"Good work, everyone."

"Aw… I was just about to win," Penny whined, but when I sent a mildly disparaging look her way, she pretended that she never said anything and inspected her two-handed sword for nicks like her life depended on it.

"How did we do?"

Josh's question made everyone stand at attention, waiting for the 'debriefing'. For a start, I turned to the Praetorial Guards.

"You did well. Take a break, and then report to Prefect Jaakobah."

"Sir, thank you for the kind words, sir!" Armour guy exclaimed and saluted to me, followed by the rest.

"Where's Mr. Arpachshad, anyway?" Angie blurted out, squinting and looking around as if he could be hiding somewhere on the completely flat (recent craters notwithstanding) training field.

"Ma'am, the Prefect is currently educating Lord Polemos's Chief Reminders, ma'am!"

Armour Guy responded to her the same way he did to me, and the Celestial girl cocked her head to the side with a soft, "Oh, is that so?"

Meanwhile, I turned to the members of our group one by one.

"Kiddo."

"Y-Yes, Brother?"

"You're still too impulsive. You should know this already, but most battles aren't clean one-on-one duels where you can just quickly overwhelm your opponent. You have to pay closer attention to both your opponents and your allies."

"… Yes, Brother…"

She sounded a bit too crestfallen, so I added, "That said, you're getting much better at using a zweihander. Your training is showing results."

That was enough to cheer her up a bit, so I moved on to the next person in line.

"Class rep. Using your golem as a mount to increase your mobility was a good idea, but you also need to focus more on your defence. Also, while I understand that you're thrilled by being able to cast more complex spells now, you should try to focus on a few of them instead of spreading yourself thin."

"Got it."

For once, she didn't argue with me, allowing me to move on to the Celestial girl fidgeting by her side.

"Angie?"

"Y-Yes?"

"What did we agree upon before we started this exercise?"

She hung her head and muttered, "No carped bombing."

"And what did you do?"

"B-But I was out of options!"

Shaking my head, I pointed at the class rep.

"I'm telling you the opposite I told to Amelia: you need to branch out, because reaching for the big guns and blowing everything up indiscriminately whenever you feel inconvenienced doesn't work."

Angie descended into a full-blown sulk, but that was to be expected, and by then I already faced Josh. There was a bit of tension in the air until I turned back to the others and said, "Let's call it a day, everyone. See you in the evening."

Following that, I jerked my head to the side. Josh got the message right away and followed after me as we made our way back to the middle of the training field, while the rest headed outside of the bubble. At last, when it was only the two of us, Josh slouched his shoulders and gave me a look filled with trepidation.

"What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing," I replied right away, much to his visible surprise. "You're doing well. I just wanted to give you some personal pointers."

That immediately made him perk up, but before we could get down to the nitty-gritty, I raised a finger to stall the conversation and activated my Leoformer, shifting over to my Lion Knight armour.

"Before we get started, let's go over a few things. First off, did you feel off during the exercise?"

Josh narrowed his eyes and considered my question seriously.

"I'm feeling… fine, actually. I figured out how to loop one of the shorter healing arias, so I'm not even tired right now."

"What about mentally?"

"… No, I don't think I'm having any mental fatigue. Should I?"

I stared at him furtively, but it only served to confuse him even more. He was fine, by all intents and purposes, which once and for all confirmed something I noticed beforehand; Josh was not under any Deus-influence anymore, retaining full control even during the heat of combat. Or rather, maybe it would be better to say that he never had that problem in this 'continuity', after the big retcon.

It made sense, once I gave it some thought; Deus was a full-fledged second persona now sharing Angie's body, which meant that Josh probably didn't absorb nearly as much of him. Of course, this meant that he had less raw power, but on the flip side, he no longer went into a near-berserk state when under duress. I had no idea whether that was something I consciously decided during the retcon or just an acceptable side-effect, but in retrospect, it felt like a bit of a waste.

After all, when he went into Deus-mode during his introductory spars with the Praetorian Guards he easily overpowered them. Sure, it was during a weird trance where he couldn't control his strength, forcing me to intervene before he'd seriously injure someone, and while not having to deal with that sounded like a good thing in a vacuum, hindsight spoke otherwise.

In shounen battle stories, there was a trope called 'Superpowered Evil Side'. While the name was on the nose, the 'other side' didn't need to be 'evil' per se. Being unable to control their power, or just going berserk was also in the same ballpark, and they all shared something in common: they were double-edged swords that would give the protagonist a temporary burst of power in exchange for their sanity or situational awareness. Conversely, the protagonist mastering this and turning it into a 'Super Mode' was a very common way to give the hero a massive power boost. If it also came with a snazzy new transformation, even better.

Josh apparently lost this opportunity during my retcon, and there was a good chance that it was the source of his recent complains about not being able to grasp some kind of epiphany. As such, since it might've been at least partially my fault (and because Deus asked me), I was now going to attempt to rectify this by invoking a different shounen battle trope: the signature move.

"If you're mentally stable, it's good," I stated off-handedly and took out Cal from my storage enchantment.

"{Hm? Ah, young Knight! Is it time for the demonstration for which we've been tirelessly practising for the…}"

Ignoring my prattling weapon, I faced Josh and held out Cal vertically.

"Today, I'll try to teach you a special move, if you're willing to learn."

"Fuck yes, finally!" Josh burst out with a grin, in stark contrast to his previous demeanour. He quickly caught himself and cleared his throat. "I mean… yes please?"

"You can ease up. It's just the two of us now."

I gestured at the rest of our group already outside the bubble surrounding the training grounds, but he shook his head.

"Nah. This is serious business, so I need to be serious," he stated firmly, but then his eyes glinted greedily and he followed it up with a considerably less solemn, "So? Are you going to teach me how to fire sword beams?"

"… Did Deus tell you?"

"No. Angie did." He paused and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "After Deus told her, of course. It sounded like he couldn't wait to tell us about it. Kinda reminded me of how dad could never stop himself from spoiling what our Christmas presents would be." Realizing that he was getting off-topic, he hurriedly crossed his arms and adopted a solemn expression. "So? Are you going to teach me that?"

"I'll try. The rest depends on you."

"Yes, master."

I narrowed my eyes and uttered a flat, "No."

"Sensei, then?"

"Cut it out, or I'm not teaching you anything."

"Oh, fine," he finally relented, showing his palms in resignation, only to then retrieve his sword from his storage and give it a practice swing. "So, how are we going to do this? Are we sparring?"

"No. First, I have to explain the theory."

Or rather, I would explain what I'd learned from Cal while also relaying whatever advice they would share as they came, but potayto, potahto.

"{While I'm not convinced that someone like him could grasp, let alone execute a proper beam strike, since it is my young Knight's wish, I'll at least attempt to enlighten him.}"

"Cal says he has the utmost confidence that you can do this," I spoke, and my sword started fuming at once.

"{Young Knight! That wasn't what I said at all!}"

Now, let's ignore the skits for the time being, and focus on the actual teaching parts. Raising my sword, I channelled the mana in my body directly into it, giving Cal's edge a soft white glow that made my friend swallow hard.

"The theory is remarkably simple: you infuse your weapon with your power. Directly. No spells or fancy techniques are required for this step, only that you push your mana into your weapon and keep accumulating it there without it leaking out."

"Like this?" Josh asked and raised his own black blade. For the first few seconds, nothing happened, but then there was a faint blue-ish light emanating from the edge, interspersed with small flashes of golden flames. "W-Wow… It's actually much easier than I thought…"

"{Preposterous! Even the most ardent Knights of legend would take weeks to learn how to infuse their weapons!}"

The ones that succeeded, that is. According to my Knightly acquaintances, the whole 'sword beam' thing was rare even during the heyday of the Brotherhood and became a once-in-a-generation kind of affair over time. While I pulled it off once under duress, I had to sneakily train for the last two days in secret to figure out how to use it again… so it was only natural that Josh could do it on his first try. Being a protagonist was such a hax.

"Good job," I told him and pointed my sword towards the far end of the training grounds. "Now listen. The form your attack will take is entirely dependent on the nature of your mana and the way you execute the move."

Saying so, I grabbed the blade with both my hands and raised it high over my head. Then, with a smooth motion, I brought it down in a vertical slash. I simultaneously let go of the restraint on the mana within the blade and it created a brilliant flash. Blink and you miss it, there was something resembling a hazy white crescent exploding from the tip, as if I cut the air itself. The resulting shockwave etched a long, straight groove into the ground in front of me, reaching all the way to the edge of the bubble encasing the field.

The gash left in the ground was roughly two fingers wide and about as deep, and while this move didn't have the raw destructive force of one of Deus's arrows or Elly's dragonfire, the sheer speed of it still made Josh's face pale with apprehension.

"On second thought, can we not spar after all? I'm not feeling all that confident anymore."

"{Wonderful, young Knight! As we have agreed during practice, we shall name this attack, 'Flash Cut'! Now, make sure you say it out loud the next time you use the technique!}"

Not even deeming Cal's ecstatic words worthy of a response, I turned to Josh instead.

"Stop being a baby, and concentrate." I pointed at his rapidly dimming sword, and he hastily grabbed the hilt with both hands. "Now, you give it a try."

"O-Okay." He raised his glowing weapon over his head, then stopped. "So I just… have to swing it really hard, and let the mana go?"

"More or less," I confirmed, flicking some dirt off Cal's crossguard. "The way you swing it and your mental image is also important, but not as much as the quality of your mana."

Or at least that's what Cal insisted upon, and they were the expert on the topic, so I just repeated it whole cloth. It made me wonder what the way mine manifested said about me though, considering how simple and utilitarian it was.

"I think I've got it," Josh muttered and pulled his sword back even more. He squared his shoulders, set his feet, and then swung with all his might, resulting in… a puff of golden flames the size of a basketball hitting the ground in front of us, barely scorching it. "Uh… That was a dud. Let me try again…"

This time, he went for a horizontal slice, with his blade shining even harder, but once again, it was roughly the same amount of golden flames distributed in a wave that dissipated after a few meters.

"I take it back. This is hard."

"Rome wasn't built in one day. You just need to practice."

He didn't need my encouragement though, as he continued to swing his sword and produce increasingly larger and more defined gouts of golden flames. Yet, after about half an hour, he finally started running out of steam.

"Man… I got my hopes up, but…"

"You just need a bit more time," I reassured him, fully banking on his protagonist specs, but he shook his head.

"Nah, you don't get it. It's like… How should I put it…?" He fell silent while he did one more vertical slice, resulting in yet another lash of flame hitting the ground. He then raised his sword to eye level and muttered, "You remember the other day? When I told you I felt that I was doing something wrong, but couldn't put my finger on it?"

"Yes."

"This is like that, but like a hundred times worse." He let his blade down and his eyes, vexed yet sharp, turned to me. "Maybe it's because Celestial powers aren't really compatible with this. How do you do it?"

"The way I just explained to you," I responded, but then I let out a soft, "Oh," when I realized something. "Now that you mention it, I'm not using 'Celestials powers', as you put it."

"Then what?"

"You know? Just normal mana. From my Oaths."

"Well, crap. That doesn't help me at all…" He grumbled, but then he abruptly fell silent. "Or does it…? Hold onto this for a moment."

He handed his sword over to me, forgetting that he could've just put it in storage, and then after rummaging around for a while, he produced a small leather pouch, the type cowboys would have on their belts to hold spare ammunition. He undid the clasp at the top, revealing the many compartments in it filled with large, red capsules full of blood from Elly and Snowy.

"I haven't been using these in a while, but…"

"Shouldn't you check if they're expired first?" I asked, and my friend shrugged.

"None has ever gone bad on me before, but there's a quick way to find out."

He took out one of the capsules and threw it into his mouth, crushing it between his molars before taking a gulp. There was no change in his outward appearance, because his Celestial-ness was at this point so entrenched it was overwriting all other transformations (and even if it didn't, his Magiformer would've done the same), but the atmosphere around him felt different. Without further ado, he snatched his sword out of my hand and raised it high over his head. This time the blue light surrounding the blade not only had golden flashes, but dark-reddish ones as well.

"Here goes nothing," he whispered through clenched teeth and swung his sword with all his might.

The motion was the same as before, but the effect wasn’t. Fire erupted from the trajectory of the blade like always, but this time the golden flames were mixed with something else; a dark, almost viscous matter that simultaneously seemed to be absorbing the flames, yet also fuelling them. The two twisted and churned for a split second before reaching equilibrium and, with a deafening roar, a pillar of red light with a brilliant yellow core erupted from the blade, straight up throwing the guy off his feet.

This was followed by a blinding flash and an explosion that shook the ground under my feet. Once the dust cleared, the groove I carved into the ground was completely gone, swallowed up by a wide, smouldering ditch as wide as I was tall, reaching all the way to the bubble surrounding the training field. One spot was currently bright red, like overheated metal.

Once I gathered my wits, I turned to the guy still sitting on the ground, and grinning like an idiot. When he noticed, he directed that grin at me and elatedly exclaimed, "I think I'm onto something!"

"You sure are…" I whispered, taken aback by the sudden development. Though again, I had no right to be surprised, since I should've expected him to pull off something like this. It must've been nice being a protagonist.

"{We shall call this the Black-Gold Spiral Slash!}"

Glancing at the equally excited blade in my hand, I uttered an unenthused, "Let's sleep on this first."

To my shock, Josh nodded along.

"Good idea. I'm feeling a little lightheaded, anyways."

And just like that, he laid down and went to sleep. Or lost consciousness. Same thing really.

So yeah. He makes a big deal about feeling inferior, then learns the super-secret-super-duper-super-technique in an afternoon, shows it off, and then takes a nap while I'd now have to deal with the cleanup. Typical protagonist behaviour.

PART 2

Day nine of our vacation.

With Josh's training arc finally reaching its conclusion, things were rapidly winding down. Our plans for today were likewise pretty mundane; a simple morning picnic on the beach was just perfect as a kind of dénouement after everything. No more volleyball matches, no ball games in the sky, no fishing trips, nothing strenuous. Just hanging out, all together, and relaxing on the blankets laid out in a circle while chatting, snacking, or both at the same time.

"Chief, say 'Aaah'."

"Aaah."

I did as instructed and Judy put a spoonful of fruit salad into my mouth. It was both cool and so sweet it made my tongue feel numb, but it still felt pretty refreshing.

"I'm next!" Elly followed her up with another spoon, and I obediently opened my mouth again.

As for why they were suddenly so adamant about feeding me, it must've had something to do with the childhood friend couple on the blanket next to ours.

"Here you go, silly-squirrel," Angie cooed and scooped some ice cream out of her bowl, then presented it to Josh.

"I can eat by myself," the guy grumbled but chomped down all the same.

"No way, Jose! You're taking it easy today. Doctor's orders."

"Nurse, but whatever," he shrugged, and unabashedly opened his mouth again.

Josh's forearms and hands were wrapped in a thick white gauze, and while it was hard to see it under direct sunlight, it was gently smouldering with a warm orange light. His stunt yesterday not only caused a fright in the onlookers, but he also suffered some sort of magical backlash. It wasn't anything major, just minimal mana burns, but I knew how much those sucked, so I could empathize with him.

He was also being spoiled by his girlfriend, though that wasn't a recent development. Right after the fact, Angie looked like she was about to whip him for being careless and injuring himself, and since I was in the splash zone, I didn't escape unscathed either. She completely mellowed out since then, as shown by the way she was feeding him with a dopey grin on her face.

Things were looking pretty idyllic, all things considered. On our left, the parent group was engrossed in small talk, the Assembly group on our right (along with Michael, who became an honorary member over the past days) were snacking while having a not-so-rigorous discussion about magic theory, while directly across us on the ring of blankets, Josh and Angie were still flirting without a care in the world. As for my sisters, they were on a separate blanket a bit further back, under the shade of a lonely tree growing at the edge of the sandy beach and playing that Celestial TCG with the two kids.

Had I ever been so relaxed, I wondered. Maybe during the hot spring excursion, but even then, this vacation felt like it was in a league of its own. It felt nice, but also… how should I put it? A bit melancholic, maybe. Probably because deep down I knew that as soon as it was over, I would be neck-deep in trouble all over again. I felt like I should be used to that by now, but I just wasn’t.

The Abyssal situation wasn't going to boil over right away, but it was only a question of time, and a quick Far Glance told me that Crowy wasn't sitting on his laurels. Even at this moment, he was sitting cross-legged in the depths of Castle Inanna, and channelling the power of the Mana Well into himself. In other words, Josh wasn't the only one getting a power-up, which was both troubling and expected. I mean, we more-or-less beat the guy during our first encounter with him, so he needed it to be a credible threat at this point. Narratively speaking, I mean.

But speaking of Josh and his power-up…

"No!" Angie declared on no uncertain terms, pulling back her ice cream with a scowl. "You're not training until your injury is fully healed, mister! One more mention of that, and I'll have Grandpa Deus deal with you again!"

"Again?" I murmured, feeling like I might've missed a crucial development last night. I couldn't help it though; Elly kept me busy. Also, since my mouth was open, she used the opportunity to stick another spoonful of fruit salad in it with a giggle.

"Fine, fine," Josh backed down in the meantime and stared at his bandaged hands. "It's just that I finally feel like I'm onto something, so I'm just itching to try it out."

"You won't be just itching if you don't listen to the girl," Angie, or rather, Deus commented, followed by an even sulkier. "Yeah! I'm gonna tie you down again if you don't behave!"

"Again?" I repeated for the second time, even more baffled. Seriously, what did I miss?

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

"No need for that. I'll be good," Josh conceded, raised a hand with the open palm facing him, and after a dramatic beat he clenched his fist. "I've already found my path forward."

Oh, wow. If the Simulacrum was a manga, this would've totally been the low-angle shot of the hero with harsh shading to emphasize his determination, wouldn't it? It was nice to see Josh playing more of these tropes straight. It meant he was now fully embodying his protagonist status, meaning I could hopefully shunt (I meant to say delegate) more narrative responsibilities onto him. I'd be busy either way, but it would be nice.

In the meantime, Judy's mom called out to my sisters.

"Cubbies! We need more watermelon for the salad!"

True to her words, she had a chopping table and a large bowl laid out in front of her on the blanket, along with a variety of fresh fruits. She was the only one cutting and mixing them, yet she was all smiles and even made small talk with the rest of the parent group. Though again, Dame Morgana was a novice in the kitchen, and while I didn't know much about Emese's culinary talents, I had a feeling she was the 'we have a chef at home' type. Of course, it didn't mean they couldn't help her with dicing stuff, but since she didn't mind, I wouldn't nag them either.

"On it!" Penny jumped to her feet and picked up the wooden sword lying on the blanket, but only to hand it over to my other sister. "It's Snowy's turn now!"

"A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it'll be fun!"

"Good luck!" the kids cheered her on, already holding a ripe watermelon, so my Abyssal sister hesitantly got up and the whole group strolled out of under the shade, and they didn't have to walk for long before they arrived at a curious sight.

"Polemos! Please stop this! It stopped being funny a long time ago!" a certain Celestial ex-director whined, making Snowy even more hesitant.

"Are you sure we should do it here? I'm feeling a bit sorry for her."

"Don't worry! Brother said she deserved it, so it's fine!" Penny declared with completely unfounded confidence. She was still entirely correct, so I made a mental note to spoil her a bit in the future.

In the meantime, the kids placed the watermelon onto the plastic sheet right next to Savir. Or rather, her head sticking out of the sand. I was a man of my word, and if I said I would bury her, then I jolly well would.

"Ready!" the boy, Pais, exclaimed between giggles and the Celestial kids skipped over to Snowy's side. In the meantime, my girlfriends also joined the fun, leaving me alone on my blanket, but I didn't mind. So long as they were having fun, especially at Savir's expense, I was fine with it.

"Spin! Spin!" Kóre yelled, and following the little Celestial girl's mark, the two of them started running circles around Snowy.

"Wait! First we have to put on the blindfold!" Penny interrupted, holding a thick white shawl. She expertly tied it onto Snowy's head, and once she was satisfied, she flashed a toothy grin and gave a thumbs up. "All right! Now you can spin her!"

She didn't have to say it twice, and the kids started running around my other sister, this time holding onto her so that she turned with them. Snowy was hugging the wooden sword to her chest to make sure it wouldn't accidentally hit anyone, and while she looked a bit awkward, she was also smiling. After a few turns they let her go and she staggered for a moment before clumsily grabbing the hilt.

This was the last but maybe most iconic trope common to all classic beach episodes. At least as far as Japanese tropes were concerned. Heck, it even had a proper name: suikawari, which directly translated to 'watermelon splitting'. It was… very literal. Personally, I didn't see the appeal, but if we were doing all of the other beach episode tropes, we couldn't just leave this one out, so I gave it the appropriate amount of attention and preparation it deserved.

First off, the watermelons. While the weather in Elysium would easily fool anyone, it was important to remember that we were still in mid-spring, so not exactly the right season for them. But fear nought! When things seem hopeless, you can always rely on globalization for the rescue! For a hefty price, plus shipping and import tariffs, of course.

Seriously, one could order literally anything on the internet nowadays. Coincidentally, that's where much of the ingredients of Second-mom-in-law's fruit salad came from, in addition to the locally available specialities of Elysium. But back to the melons: I ordered half a dozen of them, just to be on the safe side, and Penny already broke open two of them, meaning this would be the third.

Secondly, the breaking implement wasn't just any run-of-the-mill piece of wood either. It was a 'bokken', a traditional Japanese wooden training sword in the shape of a katana, just without the round handguard. I mean, if we're doing the trope, we might as well do it right, am I right? As for how I managed to get my hands on an authentic Japanese bokken… Say it with me kids: Globalism, ho!

Meanwhile, Snowy adopted a clumsy stance and took a step forward. Except, because she was just spun around, she was walking away from the watermelon.

"No! Turn around, turn around!" Penny yelled, making her turn on her heels.

"Too much! A little to the left!" Elly joined in.

"Left! Left!" the children echoed her making Snowy nearly stumble in her hurry to comply.

That was pretty much the whole game. The player would get blindfolded, then spun around, and then the onlookers would try to guide them to the location of the watermelon so that the player could smash it, and… that was it. Again, I never really 'got it', but the girls had fun with it, so it wasn't a wasted effort. That said, I wasn't sure they liked the game itself, or the part where it made Savir squeal.

"Ah! No, stay away! I won't stand for this!" she screamed from the top of her lungs and struggled to move, but that was the magic of the sand necktie: she couldn't. And it was funny.

"A bit to the right now," Judy instructed Snowy, making Savir squeal again.

"No, not that right! The other right! Left!" Penny shouted, making my other sister stop in her tracks.

"W-Which one?"

"Ten degrees to the left, and one step forward!" Elly put a hand on Judy's mouth and added, "Just listen to me! You're almost there!"

"O-Okay…"

My dear assistant struggled to free her mouth, but she couldn't win against the princess, so she soon surrendered and let her guide Snowy away from Savir's head.

"Am I at the right place?"

"Yes! You just need to swing!"

"No, don't do it! You're too close!" Savir whined, halting Snowy once again.

"Don't worry, sis. Even if you hit her, she'll live!" I chimed in from the side. "At worst, we'll just get a replacement!"

"I told you this isn't funny! Dig me out!"

Snowy must've deduced her location from her incessant cries, because she took half a step to the side, and with some further guidance from the kids, she finally managed to find the watermelon. She raised her bokken overhead and, with a firm yet somehow clumsy swing, she hit it with all her might. It wasn't quite on the mark, but she still managed to crack it in one go, much to the peanut gallery's delight.

"Yay! Her Grace Snowy did it!"

"Hurray!"

The kids rushed in and picked up the two halves of the melon, while Snowy took off her blindfold and let out a relieved breath.

"Thank goodness, I didn't hit her."

At the same time, Judy clicked her tongue so hard I could hear it all the way over here.

"Next time, I'll be the one playing."

"No, Judy! You can't!" Elly put her arms around her, as if struggling to restrain her. "I can't let you become a criminal!"

"Don't worry. We've got political immunity."

"Even so, you shouldn't do it in the open!"

"Cubbies! I'm still waiting for my watermelons~!" Judy's mom called out to them, and Savir tried her best to turn her way.

"Gwyneth! Please tell them to dig me out!"

"Oh, don't worry Eris. I'm sure the children are just teasing you," she responded with a completely guileless smile. "Not to mention, didn't you say you could use a break the other day? Just relax and enjoy the beach."

Realizing that her pleas had fallen on deaf ears, Savir tried her best to move her shoulders and dig herself out, but to little avail. The kids have already brought the broken watermelon to Judy's mom in the meantime, and the girls also headed over to help her with the cutting and the dicing, leaving Savir behind for the time being.

Leaning on my hands, I looked up at the bright blue sky and closed my eyes. Today, more than any other day, was probably the most therapeutic one of this whole vacation.

More importantly, where was I before my attention was grabbed by the suikawari? Right, I was checking on Crowy with Far Sight. I decided to pick up where I left off, Far Glancing his way, but there was little to no change. He was still manipulating the Inanna Mana Well, and at most his hair got a bit more purple. Moving on, I checked the rest of the usual suspects.

Fred was sleeping in, taking full advantage of the fact that his boss (read: me) wasn't around, while Galatea was playing chess with Peabody. Brang's company were discussing how to integrate Tajana's Fauns into their ranks after her seemingly inevitable change of allegiances, while Duncan and Agrawain were eating breakfast in the cafeteria and making small talk. It didn't really concern me, so I quickly moved on, and after making full rounds, I had to conclude that things in the base were about as peaceful as they could get. Which was good, but also played into that whole, foreboding, calm-before-the-storm kind of feeling I was getting.

Next, I checked on the arch-mages, and I caught Lord Grandpa drinking his morning coffee in the company of Lord Taika, Lord Ambrose, and Lord Gulliver in the spacious living room of the old man's mansion. That was a relatively rare sight, as from my previous observations, I knew that the arch-mages on the island rarely interacted outside of work and meetings. Except for the bearded man and the lanky redhead, but they were a special case.

"She is still refusing the summons of the Assembly?" Lord Grandpa inquired with undisguised irritation, his hand mechanically stirring his coffee in rhythm with his words.

"She's acting suspicious!" Lord Ambrose gritted his teeth and jumped to his feet, jostling the table and nearly knocking over Lord Gulliver's cup. "That's it! If she's not coming on her own, I'm bringing her here myself!"

"Ease up, big guy," the red-headed arch-mage sighed and put a hand on his colleague's shoulder, pushing him back down into his seat. "We don't have any evidence yet."

"What about the testimony of that French lout?" Ambrose continued to fume, and this time it was Lord Taika's turn to speak up, though not before she finished pouring milk into her cup.

"We're talking about Lord Marzanna here. We can't just accuse her of being the mastermind behind the recent assassination plot without solid evidence, and a single testimony won't do."

"But it's enough to bring her in for questioning!" the irate arch-mage argued back, but fell silent when Lord Endymonion raised a palm.

"Even if we accuse her, she is a Key-holder, just like you and I. We cannot force her to do anything without a vote from the Assembly backing our demands."

"But then what are we supposed to do!? Your granddaughter needs her Key of the Grimoire!"

To punctuate his point, the bearded arch-mage pounded on the table, but this time Gulliver was faster and already picked up both his own and his furious colleague's cups, lest they would be overturned.

"Does she though?" he asked provocatively and took a sip from his cup.

"Of course she does, you clown!" Ambrose snapped, while Lord Taika hastily raised her voice.

"No, hold on. Gulliver has a point. We don't really need the last Key; we already have two of them, we can just perform the replacement ritual and make the third one. Once it's registered, Marzanna's will become useless, and Amelia will be able to unlock the Grimoire"

"I have also considered this," Lord Grandpa spoke morosely, linking his fingers on the table. "However, doing so would not only be a flagrant display of disrespect towards the due process of the rules and laws governing the Assembly, but if Lord Marzanna were to operate her Grimoire Key during the ceremony, it would invalidate our attempt and make all the effort and resources involved go to waste. As much as I trust Gowan, I am not certain that if I entrusted this task upon the Artificer Lodge of Critias, news of our actions would not proliferate before the process would be finished."

"Then just ask Leonard to do it," Gulliver said with a shrug, as if that was self-evident, and took another sip from his cup. "He'll do it."

"If possible, I would like to avoid being indebted to him, especially while the ink on the peace treaty between the Assembly and his Celestial nation has yet to dry."

"You're overthinking it," the lanky arch-mage grumbled, followed by a sigh.

"Realistically speaking, what other options do we have?" Taika asked the question on everyone's mind, and Ambrose raised his fist again.

"I can just drag her out of her tower, and—"

"Realistically speaking," Lord Grandpa echoed her, and everyone fell silent.

Well, crap. I'll probably have to take care of that once we're back home, huh? Shaking my head, I left the arch-mages to their arguments and quickly flipped through all my other major marks. Ichiko had a sleepover at Naoren's place with odango-girl. So did Rinne, but as far as I could tell, nothing happened between her and the Feilong patriarch yet, because they were still in that weird tip-toeing phase. Yseult, in turn, was in the Albion mansion on the island and already dealing with official business in the morning, even though it was the weekend.

There was nothing interesting to see at either of these locations, so I moved on to the last mark, and…

"Seriously?"

The whisper escaped my mouth before I could stop it, nearly jolting me out of my Far Sight, but I refocused my attention in time. My disembodied viewpoint was currently within the guest room of my house, also known as Tajana's room, presently occupied by two people in a conspicuous state of undress while lying under the blankets and vacantly staring at the ceiling.

"We need to stop doing this," Sir Roland muttered, his voice drained of life.

"You already said that," the dishevelled woman lying by his side sulked, trying her best to sneakily glance at him without being too obvious.

"How did we even end up like this again?"

"You asked that too! And I told you, it was an accident!" Tajana continued to gripe, pulling the blankets up to hide the lower half of her face. "I-It's not like I fell on you on purpose!"

As if suddenly jolted awake, Roland blinked and turned on the bed to face her, if only so that he could squint at her.

"Speaking of which, what were you doing, running down the stairs with just a towel wrapped around you?"

"I-I just said it wasn't on purpose! It's just that…" She pulled the blanket even higher, so that even her eyes could barely be seen anymore, and whispered. "I… thought I've heard Lord Bel call out to me from somewhere, just as I was about to step into the shower, and I was… startled."

"So you rushed out of the bathroom, wearing only a towel."

"… Very startled," she insisted, clearly pouting at this point, and after locking eyes with her, Roland exhaled hard and laid down on his back again.

"Fine. Let's just say it was a mistake. We have to make sure not to repeat it."

"Y-Yes! My thoughts exactly!"

"We must also ensure that Leonard and the others won't realize what happened. You must act natural. Or at least try."

"Hey! I'm a spymaster!" Tayana fumed, pulling down the blanket enough to reveal that she was indeed pouting. "I know how to act."

"You could've fooled me."

"M-Maybe I did! Have you ever thought of that?"

Hearing her defiant words, Roland sent her a sideways glance.

"Did you?"

There was a long beat of silence, followed by a whimpering, "No…"

"Good. This is embarrassing enough already. If you actually tricked me into this, I would never live it down."

"W-Why would I even want to trick you into anything!? You're the worst!"

"And you're a crybaby."

"Because you're a bully!"

"When have I ever bullied you?"

"All the time! And, l-like… last night too."

"Well, you didn't seem to mind at the time."

"Because I knew you're a brute, and can't do it any other way!" she cried out, causing Sir Roland to sit up and lean over her, the blanket falling over to reveal his toned upper body, right out of a cheap bodice ripper book.

"Was that a challenge?" he asked in a low voice, and the Abyssal woman's breath quickened as she turned beat red, and…

"Okay, that's about enough spying for the day…" I murmured and left them to do whatever two healthy adults do in a bed while naked.

I only just noticed that my girlfriends returned to my side in the meantime, and Elly beamed at me.

"You were doing Far Sight, right?" she whispered excitedly. "Did you find something unexpected?"

"It's not entirely unexpected, but…" I trailed off and shook my head. "I'll tell you later."

It was around this time that my sisters noticed that I was available, and they came over to our side as well, with the kids in tow.

"Brother? It's getting hot! Can we play in the water?" Penny pleaded, taking me aback for a moment.

"Sure, you can. You don't need my permission for that."

"No, that's not what Penny meant," Snowy came to the rescue. "She meant you too."

"Oh, right." Now that she mentioned it, I'd done a lot of stuff around the water, but not much in it, let alone with my sisters. Seeing that they also had a beach ball at the ready, plus that the kids were staring at me expectantly, I gave in and got up. "All right. Let's get wet!"

"Chief, don't be lewd," Judy jested (or at least I hoped she did) and got up as well. "However, since you're going, I'll go change and join you."

"Ah? Are we swimming?" Angie perked up on the side. "We're coming too! Only in the shallows though, because Josh's injured."

"They know, you don't need to tell them all over again," the guy grumbled as he got up, and before long, not only the childhood friend couple, but even the Assembly group joined in on the fun.

Even the parents gave in to the temptation, and soon literally everyone on the beach was frolicking in the water. Or rather, everyone save for one.

"Polemos! I know you can hear me! I told you this isn't funny! … Polemos! Leonard?! Anyone?! Please, somebody dig me up!"

Blue skies, warm waters, playful company, and Savir's cries. The perfect way to put a bow on this vacation, am I right?

PART 3

And here it was. Our time in the Elysium came to an end.

Not the spring break though, at least not yet, but many of us had work and official obligations to attend to, so we all agreed to return home today. It was for the better; a vacation was special because it was a novel experience that didn't overstay its welcome.

It was in the early afternoon that we all gathered at the Portalport (name still pending, but the one Judy gave it was already being used in common parlay, so it'll probably stick), luggage and all. The adults also packed a bunch of souvenirs. I could see some local wines in Dad-in-law's bag, the mother-group wore the laurel crowns we got during the spring fair on their heads, while Sahi had an entire backpack full of everything from bottles of olive oil to small Celestial magitech doodahs. And of course, we can't forget all the magic cards Penny and Ammy collected, because TCGs are serious business.

Overall, we made some lasting memories here and had the keepsakes to remember them by, so it was all good.

"Man…" Josh muttered by my side, clearly angling for my attention. When I gave it to him, he dramatically slouched his shoulders. "You know, if you told me that I would be missing Elysium when we first ended up here, I would've called you crazy."

"Hehe. It's good that you're starting to like it here!" Angie chimed in and unceremoniously nuzzled up to his side. "We're going to live here after we graduate."

"Do we have to?" Angie was puzzled by the question, so he clarified, "I mean, I like it here better than before, but that doesn't mean I want to permanently live here."

"I don't think we have a choice. I mean, I'm Deus, you know? I kinda have to be here to govern and stuff, once I know how to do that."

"Yeah, but Leo is Polemos, and he's still running the show from back home."

"But Leo's different. He has the Draconians and the Knights to take care of too."

"True, but…"

"Just do whatever you'd like," I interjected with an implied shrug. "We'll work it out somehow. Also, it's not like 'graduating' will happen tomorrow. Angie's talking about uni."

"Ah, right…"

Josh sounded like he just realized that, much to his childhood friend's amusement.

"I'll also miss the beach," Elly spoke up on my other side. She and Judy were engrossed in conversation until now, but she was clearly listening in. "It's the first time I could relax and just play at the shore without having to worry about Knights attacking us. Oh, and we could fly too, whenever we wanted! It was so nice while it lasted…"

"Don't be down, princess." I stepped up to her and pulled her into a hug. "Nothing's stopping us from making Elysium vacations into a regular thing. We can come here again next year."

"Unless the world ends by then," Judy commented on the side, and the childhood friend couple's ears perked up at once.

"The world ends?"/"What do you mean by that?"

"Judy's just being hyperbolic," I told them before it could lead to a misunderstanding.

My dear assistant extended a hand, with her thumb and index fingers a few centimeters apart.

"A little hyperbolic."

"That's still not very reassuring," Josh grumbled, but then the conversation thankfully moved on when Penny and Snowy joined our group.

"Look, Brother! We've got a rare Black Typhoon card!"

She showed off her bounty with a toothy grin, featuring some abstract artwork and a whole lot of text. I never realized, but for some reason all card descriptions were written using both normal letters and Celestial Script. How thoughtful of whoever made these.

Anyhow, I had absolutely no idea why that card was impressive, from where she 'got' it, or why it was 'rare', but I wasn't going to rain on my sister's parade.

"Congrats, Kiddo."

"He-he! Now, if only I could convince Amelia to trade her Blazing Prometheus with me, my deck will be complete!"

"Good for you."

"When are we heading out?" Snowy inquired as soon as there was a lull in the conversation.

That was a good question, so I glanced over at the nearby field where a portal technician was already hard at work musicing the means of our trip back home into existence. It was only a swirling mass of indeterminate shape right now, but if I had to spitball it based on the gut feeling I had whenever I looked at one of these portals-in-the-making, I would've said it was about ten minutes away from opening.

It was best to err on the side of caution, so I told her, "About a quarter of an hour. Why?"

"I need to use the restroom…" she admitted, sounding a touch sheepish.

Judy pointed at the large building at the side of the construction zone.

"Use the ones in the cultural exchange center."

"I'll come with you!" Penny proposed, and my sisters soon skipped away, once again making me wonder why girls always went to the bathroom in pairs. It probably had a practical reason for it, but for the love of me, I couldn't think of one.

Musings about the great mysteries of life, the universe, and everything aside, since the portal would open soon, I glanced around to make sure everyone was ready. On one side, Mensah was animatedly discussing something with the Assembly group. Lord Barnabas and Pascal were listening carefully to whatever new business venture he was trying to sell them, while Ammy and Mike were hugging and whispering sweet nothings to each other a bit further away, acting like the one of them was about to join the army and get shipped overseas or something.

As for Sahi, she stuck out of the group like a sore thumb. She had been evidently playing way too hard over the past couple of days, because at the moment she was floating in the air, held up by two of her oversized summoned hands acting as a makeshift lounge chair and taking a nap like it was the most natural thing in the world. Or was she? It was hard to tell from here, but if she was sleeping for real, then how was she maintaining her magic hands? Maybe they were autonomous. I never asked her about them, and to be honest, I didn't care enough to do it now either.

Moving on, the parent group was currently in the company of Tsephanyah.

"… and this is a speciality product from the southern lands of Elysium, made of fragrant local wood and…"

Or rather, he was in the process of bribing them under the guise of 'farewell gifts'. The menfolk already had a whole set of fishing gear and accessories given to them, and now it was the women's turn to receive their souvenirs, traditional beauty products, and other assorted baubles. He was clearly doing his best to solidify the good impression he made on the group, and as much as I found his constant flattery annoying, I had to respect his hustle.

"On a ten-point scale, I give this vacation a nine," Judy stated out of the blue, making my other girlfriend look at her funny.

"Only nine?"

"I'm deducing one point for Savir," she stated blandly, and Elly let out a soft 'Oh' in response.

"Yeah, that makes sense." For a while, it seemed like this was the end of the topic, but then she abruptly raised her brows and glanced around, as if just realizing something. "Now that you mention it, I thought she would also be here."

"Maybe she's occupied elsewhere," I mused aloud, trying to keep my facial muscles in check.

"Maybe, but… both you and Angie are going home, right? Wouldn't it be important for her to say goodbye, like the others?"

"Must be very busy," Judy insisted with a firm nod, but Elly wasn't buying it.

"Now that I think about it… I haven't seen her since last morning either. Just where did she go?"

"Probably some kind of emergency."

"The type where only she's needed," Judy backed me up.

"A religious kind of emergency?" I jested.

"Definitely," she agreed with her poker face fully intact.

Despite our perfect acting, the princess was getting more suspicious by the second.

"You two know something. What did you do to her?" When neither of us responded, she thought long and hard about it, and then blurted out, "Don't tell me… Is she still buried in the sand on the shore?"

"Maaaybe?" I cooed, but she remained completely flabbergasted. A bit outraged, even.

"Leo! That's mean!"

"She deserved it," Judy stated emphatically, but my other girlfriend had none of it.

"But she's been there since last morning! She must be so thirsty, and hungry, and… she probably needs to go to the toilet too!"

Judy and I shared a glance, and after a long beat, she said, "In retrospect, maybe it was a little mean."

"Oh, fine," I grumbled and glanced around. "I'll go tell someone to dig her out after we've left, and… Ah, perfect! Jaakobah!"

I raised a hand over my head to signal to the phlegmatic man standing at the edge of the site, stoically discussing something with the building crew there. While the Portalport made some visible progress during the time we'd been here, it was still very much a work in progress, and so the Celestials in charge of the construction were waiting on the sidelines for us to leave so that they could resume their jobs.

Seeing my signal, he dismissed the group and made his way over to my side. To my surprise, I found that he was shadowed by two familiar faces.

"Lord Archon?" Jaakobah looked at me expectantly, waiting for my order, so for the moment I prioritized that.

"After we leave the Elysium, go back to the beach and grab the shovels. About twenty meters in front of the leftmost bungalow, look for Savir and dig her up. If the disguise Sigils around her still haven't run out of juice and you can't find her, just sweep the ground carefully until you hit something the size of a watermelon. That's her."

"W-Wow… You even had Snowy put Sigils around her…" Elly muttered in shock. "That's… super mean. Remind me not to get on your bad sides."

"Don't be silly," Judy soothed her by tapping on her back. "We only bury people we don't like, right, Chief?"

"Right, Dormouse."

To his credit, the man didn't even bat an eye at my weird request and just saluted. I had to admit, recruiting Jaakobah was one of the better ad-hoc decisions I'd ever made. His combination of earnestness, dependability, and flexibility was a rare find in the Elysium. Now, moving on to the other thing…

"And what about you two?" I asked looking at the Celestial children behind him, and the two of them tried their best to imitate his salute.

"We are here to learn how to be good soldiers, O Lord Archon!" Kóre, the girl, declared enthusiastically.

"Y-Yes! We're following the Prefect's example!" Pais added, sounding a little less sure.

Seeing them trying their best, Jaakobah exhaled a shallow breath and told me, "Since I promised the Lord Archon that I would ensure that they would be ready and able to fulfil their duties as your heralds…" He paused and corrected himself. "Chief Reminders. I have already contacted the orphanage and arranged for their transfer as trainees in the Praetorian Guard."

"So… you're looking after them," I concluded, and he nodded along without an ounce of hesitation.

I was just about to smile and wish them good luck, but I was beaten to the punch by a certain Knightly sister of mine rushing in and nearly tackling the two kids off their feet.

"Kóre! Pais! You made it!"

"Big Sis Penny!" the girl exclaimed and hugged her back, while the boy was trying his best not to get sandwiched between the two of them.

"I'll miss you sooo much!"

"W-We too!" Pais sniffled, and before long, they were all on the verge of bawling their eyes out.

"You see, Chief? I told you we should've adopted them."

"Still no," I said flatly, and seeing that Snowy also returned in the wake of my other sister's rush, I raised my voice to get everyone's attention. "Heads up! Grab your bags and say your farewells, because the portal is opening right abooout…" I drew out the last syllable for a few seconds, and as soon as I saw a change in the amorphous magical disk, I called out, "Now!"

On cue, a small hole appeared in front of the portal technician with a soft crackling sound and it rapidly expanded until it was big enough that we could comfortably walk through side-by-side.

"I still don't understand how you can tell when these things are opening so precisely." Glancing over, I found a slightly grumpy Ammy still holding hands with Mike. "How do you do it?"

"It's hard to explain. Think of it as a talent."

She left it at that. My sisters said their goodbyes to the kids, the adults accepted the last of the 'gifts', and we all gathered around the portal to march right through. I purposefully lagged behind with the girls, and I turned around to behold the blue sky of the Elysium one last time. While I didn't voice it at the time, I was actually on the same page with Josh; this short vacation had me develop a soft spot for this place in a way that my extended stay in the past couldn't manage. Heading home now felt… strangely bittersweet.

As if waiting for this opportunity, the two ex-directors sidled up to us, looking as solemn and dignified as I'd ever seen them. That is to say, they were extremely suspicious.

"Is there something we forgot about?"

I tried not to sound too defensive when addressing them. Tsephanyah appeared blissfully unaware of my suspicions and cracked a smile.

"Nothing of the sort, Lord Polemos. It's just that, before you leave, we would be honored if you accepted the paltry gifts we prepared for the occasion."

"… You're overdoing it," I stated flatly, but he took no offence and made a gesture with his hand. It was obviously a signal, because a moment later a pair of Celestials descended from the sky, carrying two boxes.

"I have been informed that you showed profound interest in the craft of the entertainers at the kheimónthéra, so I took the initiative to prepare some souvenirs to remember the occasion."

The ex-director wriggled his finger, and the first man stepped forth, fell to one knee, and presented the box. He fluffed the lid open, and… Seriously?

"Oh? Wasn't this what the jugglers used during the fair?" Elly exclaimed with glee as she studied the various balls, pins, rings, and other juggling tools embedded in the velvet padding of the box.

"It's a very… thoughtful gift…" I muttered, my mouth operating on autopilot while my mind was already racing.

I had paid attention to the jugglers back at the fair in the village because it reminded me that Bel, aka future-me, was juggling the Grimoire Key boxes. Because of that, I got lost in thought, once again wondering if I would need to learn the technique to maintain the space-time continuum. However, it seemed like someone picked up on that and misunderstood my actions, reported them to Tsephanyah, and he prepared this gift for me, but… Does that mean that future-me learned how to juggle because of this?

But if I didn't see future-me do it, I wouldn't have been stumped at the fair, and Tsephanyah wouldn't have misunderstood, so… was this another infinitely regressing time-loop paradox? Or I would've learned juggling for a completely unrelated reason in that theoretical bootstrap timeline? Or maybe I'm just overthinking this, and in the future, I will purposefully set myself up for this through the retcon just so that I would be able to juggle the Keys as Bel? That last bit sounded like something I would do, but…

"More importantly!" Mensah cut in with a harrumph and gestured for the other box-holder to step forth. "Instead of relying on second-hand information and guesswork, I have meticulously analyzed the Lord Archon's interests and preferences during his stay in Migdál Glaukós, and after collating all the data, I have prepared a fitting memento!"

As if on cue, the second placeholder Celestial also fell on one knee, mirroring his comrade, and presented a second box. Mensah flipped it open, and revealed a…

"Oh? That's curious," Judy blurted out in surprise, and I was right there with her.

In the box, embedded in the same kind of velvety material, was one of the small magitech roombas I'd seen in the tower, except its chassis was gilded with silver and gold and polished to a mirror finish. I mean, I said I would like to take one home during my early visits to Elysium, but after being 'revealed' as Polemos, I never paid much attention to them anymore, because I had so many other things to worry about. Just how in the nine layers of hell did Mensah connect the dots and…

"No, never mind. I don't care." I grabbed both boxes and put them under my arms. "Thank you for the thoughtful gifts, but since everyone else already left, it's high time I follow after them. Have a nice day, and I'll see you in the foreseeable future."

With that, I turned on my heels and waited until the girls also said their polite goodbyes. At last, we stepped through the portal and we were back in the main hall of the underground base. It was only then that I heaved a sigh of relief.

"I hate dealing with those guys."

Elly looked at me as if just said something strange. She never had a chance to voice her opinion on the matter, since we were greeted by familiar faces.

"Kihihi! Welcome home, boss! I have some—"

"Great timing!" I pushed past my in-laws, and before Fred could even finish his line, I handed one of the boxes to him, and the other to the androidess standing by his side. "Could you please give these a look and check for any magical tampering or surveillance? Just to be safe."

"Hello, Grandmaster. We're also happy to see you. Why, thank you for asking about our well-being, you're so nice," Galatea rattled off in a monotone voice, stopping me in my tracks.

"Right, sorry. I was a bit caught up in the moment. Hello Fred, Galatea. We're back. How have you been?"

"Eh, fine," the resident chief mad scientist shrugged and peeked into his box. "What's in these anywaaaay? Oooh?" His eyes gleamed with interest the moment he saw the small magitech cleaner inside. "What's that? Some kind of tiny robot? How peculiar!"

"What master is trying to say is that we'll inspect these items. Please come by later, after you unpacked, and we'll also share our progress report."

"That would be great, thank you."

Feeling a bit sheepish, I turned to the rest of the group. Some, like Barnabas, Sahi, and Pascal were ready to leave. Others, like Arnwald and Morgana, were already by the training grounds and discussing something with Agrawain and Brang. Everyone was busy, and on second thought, so was I, so I turned to my girlfriends next.

"All right, girls. I'll go home first and check if everything's fine. If there's something urgent, I'll call you. If not, see you both tomorrow."

"Okay!"

Elly hopped over to my side and presented her lips, so I gave her a peck on them. Judy received the same treatment, and with that, I headed for the teleport closet in the reception room. In retrospect, we parted ways quite casually, without any of the usual reluctance and extra hugs and kisses… but then on second thought, we've spent so much time together over the past week, maybe we were all welcoming some alone time to wind down.

I stepped into the small closet while pondering on the push-and-pull of relationships and then immediately Phased into another small closet, only to throw the door open.

"Hi, kids! I'm home!"

"Eeep!"

While my goal was to surprise the house-sitters, I didn't expect that Tajana would literally fall off the couch in fright. That was a new one.

"Leonard." Roland greeted me from the side of the window. He was clearly expecting us to return 'normally', and kept an eye on the driveway. After a brief pause, he walked over and nodded with a flat, "Welcome home."

On closer look, his hair seemed to be a bit damp, and his shirt and trousers both looked like they came right out of the wardrobe, creases and everything.

"Were there any noteworthy developments while we were away?"

"There have been some minor official blunders that may require your attention, but as for big developments…" Roland unsubtly glanced at the couch, and let out a soft breath. "There's something you might want to know about."

"Oh?" I looked at him, and then at the woman hiding behind the back-rest. "That's surprising. I thought you wanted to keep it a secret. I didn't think you would try to come clean the moment I came home."

"W-W-What do you mean?" the hapless spymaster stammered, flopping around like a fish on the chopping board. "T-T-There's nothing going on between us, right, Roland?"

Sir Roland promptly buried his face in his palm and muttered, "Please, give us a moment."

I gestured for him to go ahead, mainly because this was just hilariously awkward. He walked over, grabbed Tajana's hand, and pulled her into the kitchen. After a few minutes of barely audible hushed arguments, on which I purposefully didn't listen in just so that I could have an authentic reaction to whatever they cooked up, the two of them returned to the living room. They looked noticeably flushed and maybe even a little haggard.

"I don't know what you know, but I want to be clear on this: What happened between us is something that only concerns us," Roland emphasized in a sombre voice.

"Right! It's our business!" Tajana backed him up, and this time she didn't even stammer.

"What we have is an adult relationship that's entirely physical in nature, and as such, I want to assure you that it won't affect my duties or allegiances."

"Yes! What happened last night won't affect anything!"

"Indeed. As such, I…"

"Wait, hold your horses!" I cut him off with an extended palm and raised a brow at the woman. "Last night? You did it again last night? What are you, teenagers in heat?" Tayana shrunk back, as if she wanted to disappear into the ground, while Roland was the exact opposite, standing tall and glaring at me. I didn't want to get into an argument over something so dumb, so I let my palm down and started massaging my temple instead. "You know what? Fine. Your relationship is your business and I won't get involved. Don't ask, don't tell."

"There's no relationship," Roland denied in a hurry.

"That's right! We're not in a relationship at all!"

"It was just a… moment of weakness."

"Four moments of weakness."

Roland rolled his eyes.

"Would you please stay silent? Leonard doesn't need to know about that!"

"I'm just trying to help and clear up the misunderstanding!" Tajana argued back, her voice sounding sulkier by the second. "It's your fault, anyway! You started it!"

"I started it? Nothing would've happened if you didn't throw yourself at me back then!"

"I didn't throw myself at you! Who would even want to do that to a… to a beast like you!"

"A crybaby who's afraid of the sound of thunder," Roland argued back with a profound lack of passion.

"How dare you! Are you implying I would've clung to anyone just because I was afraid?"

"Wouldn't you?"

"No! I have standards!"

"Then why did you—?"

"Okay, that's about enough!" I raised my voice and cut between the two of them. "Bloody hell! How do you possibly have this much UST after you've already…?" I sucked in a sharp breath and exhaled hard. "You know what? Never mind. I don't care. Sort it out between yourselves, preferably when I'm not in the vicinity." With that issue bottled up right then and there, I looked Roland in the eye. "So, if the important development wasn't about this totally just physical non-relationship you two have now, then what is it?"

Sir Griffon loudly cleared his throat and followed my lead, pretending that the previous conversation never happened.

"Yesterday afternoon, due to a recent request addressed to the Draconic Federation, I accompanied Tajana in town." I really, really wanted to ask if they seriously went on a date as well while I wasn't looking, but I stuffed the urge down and twirled my finger to have him continue. "We visited several Abyssals informants in Timaeus, as well as common drop-points for clandestine correspondence, and we've learned that one of the Abyssal houses was trying to reach out to you for the better part of the week."

"To me in particular?" I asked, and it was Tajana who nodded.

"Yes. The survivors of House Ashur want to offer money, intelligence, and political support in exchange for asylum." She sounded mildly perplexed and took a big gulp before continuing. "This is an… unprecedented situation. No Abyssal house has ever opened diplomatic channels with Celestials."

"They're also hedging their bets," Roland noted with a dissatisfied frown. "They simultaneously reached out to the Draconic Federation, though in much less concrete terms, but since your approval would be required either way, I believe they're just testing the waters."

"I-In any case, I advise caution!" the young spymaster said something reasonable for the first time in a while and crossed her arms defensively. "House Ashur was functionally destroyed by My Liege and the forces of House Inanna. They must be aided by someone in the shadows. My instincts tell me it's the Nergals, and if I'm right, accepting their deal would be as good as joining the civil war on their side!"

"Well, it wasn't like I was going to join it on Crowy's side," I joked, but nobody laughed. Shaking my head I thought about it for a moment and finally yielded to the inevitable. "Can you contact them?"

"Through the drop-points, yes," Tajana responded warily.

"Good. Tomorrow, go out and have another… tour around the city, and message them that I'm willing to hear them out."

"Is that wise?"

Roland sounded eminently skeptical of the idea, but I just shrugged.

"Wise or not, it doesn't matter. Bel's involved."

Hearing that, he soon put two and two together, and let out a groan that was simultaneously resigned and exasperated. I shared his feelings, and I would've really preferred if there was at least some buffer between our beach episode and the Abyssal civil war elbowing its way into our lives, but what could I say?

"Some things are simply unavoidable."