PART 1

"Sorry for intruding. Is Mr Walker here?"

On this Friday, the school was out early thanks to a certain PE teacher calling in sick (or rather, me calling sick in for her, but let's not split hairs over such small details), and since I had no other prior obligations, I had plenty of time to tick some minor stuff off my priority list.

As such, I made my way over to the school's enormous library building and poked my head around a certain row of bookshelves, behind which I could see three familiar faces. My initial question was, of course, purely of performative etiquette; thanks to my Far Sight, I already knew he was there, sitting around a small table in a quiet corner, accompanied by his fellow arch-mages.

Not all of them though. For once, Lord Ambrose was separated from Lord Gulliver, sitting with his back turned to me. The corner seat was occupied by Lord Taika, and she was browsing through a small mountain of books, while the dark-skinned arch-mage was sitting leisurely while leafing through an old archived newspaper. All three of them turned to face me when I walked into their little cubbyhole in the least-frequented section of the library.

"I'm present, and you're not intruding," Lord Barnabas answered cordially and put down his paper. "Can I help you?"

"As a matter of fact, yes." I only continued when I reached the tableside. "You see, I'm planning a bit of an excursion during the spring break, and I'd like Amelia to join us. The problem is that she can't be left alone because of the whole Conduit thing, and Amadeus can't come with us because of various boring official reasons. However, I got him to agree to let her come with us so long as I could arrange responsible adult supervision, and you were the first one who came to mind."

"Oh. I'm flattered, but… where exactly are you planning to go?"

"Abroad," I responded curtly, and while it wasn't exactly a lie, it wasn't the full truth either.

But then again, what he didn't know couldn't worry him, and it wasn't like we were going anywhere dangerous, so it didn't really matter. My internal conflicts thus quelled, I flashed a reassuring smile, and Lord Barnabas gave my words due thought.

"Who else is coming?"

"My family, the Dracises, Judy's family, plus Joshua and Angeline. Also, Amelia and you, if you agree."

"I see. Is it absolutely necessary for Amelia to attend?"

"It's not 'absolutely' a must, but I kind of planned things with her in mind." Scratching the back of my neck, I feebly added, "You would really help me out with this one."

"In that case… I'll consult Lord Amadeus and I'll try to free up my time."

"Thank you. I appreciate it a lot."

I flashed a smile, and I had a hard time keeping it relieved instead of self-satisfied. Knowing him, it was fifty-fifty whether Barnabas would agree on the spot, so I played the hapless act to get the odds in my favour.

"Is there anything else you need from me?"

"No, that was all."

"In that case, shall we talk about the 'extracurricular classes' you missed?"

I involuntarily twitched and forced a startled expression.

"Ah, right. I'm sorry, but something urgent came up the other day."

"It's fine. When would it be convenient for you?"

Ugh. Now that he agreed to do me a favour, I couldn't weasel out of this easily. No offence to the man, but his lessons about etiquette and diplomacy were not only astonishingly boring, I fundamentally disagreed with a lot of his negotiation tactics, both on the theoretical and practical level.

"How about… Monday?" I squeezed out, and he nodded with satisfaction.

"Sounds reasonable. Don't forget to bring the articles we talked about the last time."

Articles? As in, items? I couldn't immediately remember it, but after emptying the drawers of my mental filing cabinet, I did find a faint memory of promising him one of my signed enchantment plaques. It never came up in the context of these tutoring lessons, so it took me a while to connect the dots, and lacking any other choice, I nodded.

"Sure, I'll make sure not to forget."

"I'm glad to hear that. Now, if you excuse me, I believe there's no time like the present." Saying so, he folded his newspaper and stood up. "I shall visit Lord Amadeus right away."

"You don't need to, but I'd much appreciate it."

He turned to the silent arch-mages at the table, saying, "I wish you a pleasant weekend." Then, he faced me again. "As for you, Leonard, I shall see you on Monday."

"Goodbye till then."

He nodded with a thin-lipped smile and left the nook. The moment he was out of earshot, Ambrose let out a guffaw and grinned at me.

"Ha! You thought you'd get one over that old fox? Oh, the folly of youth!"

"I don't know what you mean," I replied with a considerably more relaxed shrug and took the newly opened seat by the table. "I've got what I wanted, so it's a win in my book."

"Ha! Look at him, being all cocky!"

Taika only sent a disapproving frown in the man's direction, and after shaking her head, she disappeared behind an old art history textbook.

"Where's Lord Gulliver?" I asked absently to change the subject, and the bearded arch-mage let out a loud harrumph.

"Hmpf! That lout still has classes! I told him he should stop with the ruse and quit already, but do you know what he said to me? He actually likes kids! And teaching! What a fool!"

"… Sure, if you say so."

Huffing and puffing, the fiery arch-mage suddenly snapped his fingers and pointed at me.

"Since we ran into each other like this, can I have some of your time one of these days?" That was an unexpected question, and it must've shown on my face, because he hastily amended, "You absolutely have to show me how you managed to get your hands on my Gri—" He bit back the last word, and after glancing around, he considerably lowered his voice. "The item formerly in my custody which will not be named."

"You can talk freely. I already isolated this area with a concealment spell," Taika commented without looking up from her book.

"Why didn't you say so sooner?" Ambrose let out a relieved breath and started over. "So? When are you coming? Tomorrow? Sunday?"

"I already have some plans for the weekend, so… how about Wednesday?"

He clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"Almost a week? Ugh! The wait is already killing me!"

I didn't know how to feel about this. I wasn't the one who stole his Grimoire Key… or rather, it was future-me who did it, so I had no idea how I was going to do it. Or… wait. Would going over there now to take a look at the defences help me sneakily circumvent them later as future-me? But I wouldn't need to go there if I didn't steal it in the future, which I could do seamlessly because I already went there in the past which is five days from now, and oh goddammit I hate time paradoxes.

"Hm? Is everything all right?"

"It's nothing. Just a sudden headache," I told Ambrose, two fingers already massaging my temple. "Let's talk about this again on Monday, when I'll have a better grasp on my schedule for the rest of the week."

"Hah! You're a busy man, aren't you?"

"Unironically, yes." I let my hand down with a sigh. "I have all my official obligations, plus the unofficial ones, on top of planning a trip, and I still have to study for the exam season too. It will probably involve a few group study sessions, and why are you looking at me like that?"

Said question was aimed at Taika, and she hurriedly averted her eyes.

"Oh, nothing. I just thought that with all of your other responsibilities, you wouldn't consider academic performance all that important."

"Well, I don't, but my girlfriends would flay me if I didn't get at least decent grades."

The arch-mages still looked at me like I was the weird one, and the stale-mate would've probably continued for a while longer if not for a sudden guitar solo.

"Huh. It's been a while…" I muttered as I reached for my phone, only to realise that it wasn't mine.

"What is it?"

Instead, Lord Ambrose casually took a fancy smartphone out of his thick robe and raised it to his ear.

"Yes, I'm still in the library, and… What?"

Wait, hold on. The old arch-mage who looked like the type who would send freaking messenger pigeons not only had a mobile phone, it was a modern smart one too? And he was using it without any problems? Wow… Naoren really had no excuse, did he?

"Fool! What am I, your assistant!?" Ambrose bellowed and rose to his feet, using one hand to cover the mic of the phone. "I must leave now, it's an urgent matter. Let's talk later." Following that, he raised his phone back to his ear again and walked away at a brisk pace. "Say the title of the book again. Louder, you clod! I can't hear you!"

Just like that, I was left alone with Lord Taika, and when I turned to her, she quickly returned to her book. She was acting… kind of suspicious. It was time to probe her.

"Do you have something to tell me?" I asked in a nice, neutral voice, and it made her finally look me in the eye.

While I couldn't be sure, I figured she must've been searching for the right opportunity to question me about my Phasing ability. At least that's what the class rep told me the other day, yet her behaviour was still suspect. I was under the impression we got along well, so why would she be so nervous around me?

Just as I was about to broach the subject myself, she snapped her book shut so hard it startled me. She put it down, exhaled hard, and raised her palms as if I had her at gunpoint.

"Leonard… I must apologize."

"… That kind of came out of left field." It took me a moment to collect myself, and then I gestured for her to put her hands down before a random onlooked would misunderstand the situation. "Okay, let's start from the top. What exactly are you apologizing for?"

"It's… Honestly, I'm not supposed to talk about this, let alone to you, but knowing your track record, it's only a question of time before you would somehow find out about this, so I want to come clean about it."

"You're doing a lot of dancing around the topic."

"You're right." She rubbed the bridge of her nose and finally let the cat out of the bag. "I… copied and reproduced the message Bel of the Abyss left for you."

"… Okay. And?"

"We've asked an… independent third party to translate it for us, to make sure that… there wasn't any secret communication between you and Bel."

"Oh. Oooh?" I folded my hands and nodded with newfound enlightenment. "Okay, now it makes a whole lot of sense."

Taika averted her eyes. She must've thought I was talking about her behaviour, but as a matter of fact, I was referring to the way the message was written in character. It didn't bother me that much at the time, but I did secretly wonder why future-me chose to write in such a roundabout way.

"And? What did you find?" I inquired out of pure curiosity, and she didn't hesitate for long.

"Our… expert had a hard time transcribing it, but he said it was addressed to Polemos, it mentioned something about arranging pawns on a board and the Grimoire Keys, and… there was a mention of something called an 'Axis of Evil'?"

"That's all?"

She nodded, and I shrugged in return.

"Bel is unpredictable and incomprehensible at the best of times."

"Yes, but… what is an 'Axis of Evil'?"

"I'll be damned if I knew, but knowing Bel, it's either an evil organization of evilness, or the name of his treehouse club."

I waited for a reaction, but Taika didn't get my joke. She only nodded with a small, jerky movement, her eyes focused and lips set in a thin line that made her look like a sculpture. That impression didn't last for long, as she soon started apologized again.

"Nevertheless, I'm sorry. I knew that doing something like this behind your back was underhanded, but we all agreed to it in the heat of the moment, and it's been eating away at me ever since."

"In that case, let me tell you that there's no need to be bothered by it. It's your job to be vigilant about such things, so I won't hold it against you."

"Thank you." She acted like I just took a weight off her shoulders. "So… I know this is presumptuous, but can I…?"

"Ask about my ability to teleport?" I cut to the chase, and her eyes opened wide.

"Yes, exactly. How did you know? Wait, on second thought, it doesn't matter." In contrast to the surprisingly modern Ambrose, she took out an old-timey timepiece from her breast pocket. It was a simple, stainless-steel construction with a white face and Roman numerals, and after peeking at it, she snapped it shut and shook her head. "It's a little late now, but could I impose on you on another day? Maybe sometime next week, once you find an opening in your schedule?"

"Sure, but… It's not that late," I pointed out by literally pointing at the sun hanging high in the sky, visible through the huge window panes of the library building.

"I have a prior appointment and I have to leave within the hour, so I'm afraid we don't have time for an in-depth discussion today."

Wait. Did that mean she expected our talk to last for more than an hour? Ugh. I'll have to come up with a really convincing fake explanation for my Phasing, won't I?

"In that case, let's discuss this again next week."

I kicked that question down the line for the future me (not 'future-me' me, but the current me in a few days) to figure out. Taika smiled and fidgeted with the corner of her book, so I figured there was no reason to keep her from her reading, research, or whatever she was doing.

Bidding farewell, I stood up and left the library, passing by an angry Ambrose balancing on top of a ladder and trying to find a book on the upper shelves of the first floor. I could've helped, but he didn't look like he wanted any, so I just nodded in his general direction and strolled outside.

While the sun was shining high in the sky, the weather forecast said there would be rain in the evening, and I could already see some clouds on the horizon. Not that it mattered, as I would be back home long before that. Or in the base. One or the other.

Of course, first I would have to stop by the Dracis mansion, because Abram finally came back from a business trip and I wanted to catch him while he was around. Emese too, while I was at it. I already told Judy I would visit the mansion, so my girlfriends unilaterally agreed that we should meet up in Elly's room to cuddle after I'm done with business. Then I'd take Judy home, like a responsible boyfriend before heading to the base to get some miscellaneous enchanting done. All in a day's work. Or at least that was the plan.

"Hey, pal. Why aren't you home yet?"

On my way back to the main building, I just happened to bump into Josh carrying a big cardboard box in his hands.

"Tennis club practice," he responded wearily, and while I couldn't see his face because of the box, I was sure he was grimacing.

"Dude, at this point, they should make you an honorary member," I jested while he turned to the side so we could look each other in the eye, only so that he could roll them.

"Don't even joke about that. It's already bad enough without being a member."

"A fair point. You need any help?"

"Nah, it's the last box."

It was only at this point that I realized that he was carrying the box towards the gymnasium's back entrance instead of to the tennis courts at the far end of the campus. That was mildly peculiar, so I couldn't stop myself from poking my nose in it.

"So there are more? What's in this, anyway?"

"A bunch of stuff. New uniforms, tennis rackets, balls… the whole nine yards."

"Seriously?"

Josh shifted the box in his grasp and exhaled a tired, "Yeah. The club's been asking the school for new equipment for a while now, and they finally got what they wanted."

"Angie?"

"Yup." Josh flashed a mirthless smile. "I guess the principal didn't want to start a diplomatic incident by rebuking the request of the great and mighty Deus, Father of Elysium, and so on."

I let loose an impressed whistle.

"Nice. Just make sure it doesn't go to her head and start demanding weird things from Lord Grandpa."

My friend first blinked in surprise, then narrowed his eyes and muttered, "He told me you would tell me that."

"He?"

"Angie. I mean, Deus." Pausing, he exhaled a weak groan. "Man, pronouns have been a pain ever since an old guy started living in my girlfriend's head."

"We all have our own crosses to bear, I suppose." My grin made the guy's expression darken in record time, so I tactically changed the topic. "Are you sure you don't need help?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He hefted the box. "Standing around like this is kind of dumb though. Why don't we walk while we talk?"

"Nah, I pass. I was about to leave, but since we ran into each other like this, I might as well ask now: Are you free tomorrow?"

Josh was visibly surprised, and after some thinking, he nodded.

"I have some plans for the morning, but I'm free in the afternoon. Why?" Suddenly his expression shifted. "Personal training?"

"No, of course not. Seriously, dude, you need to relax a little. You're getting tunnel vision."

"Oh. Then what do you need me for?"

"I just thought we should hang out a bit. You know? Like in the good old times." I scratched the back of my head. "I'll be the first to admit that I seriously need to let off some steam, and I think you need it too."

"I'm… not going to argue with that. Arcade-hopping?"

"Sounds like a good start, and then we'll figure it out from there."

We both grinned and then walked past each other, secure in the knowledge that all the necessary arrangements had been successfully made. Yet, even as I ambled into the main building, I couldn't help but wonder why organising an outing with male friends was so dead easy while planning a date with a girl was still a pain in the neck even after all this time.

"It must be some kind of unexplored law of nature. It's the only logical explanation."

PART 2

Maybe because it was a Friday afternoon, but the Dracis mansion was slightly less bustling than usual. With all the busy and self-important Draconic Federation personnel moving in and out of the estate, it sometimes felt more like a government office than someone's home. I had no idea how Elly was dealing with it, but then again, the main building alone was big enough that she probably rarely if ever ran into any dignitaries or officials by chance.

With such idle thoughts in mind, I passed through the wrought-iron fences of the compound, casually greeting the familiar security guards in the process, and then I strolled across the front gardens. Spring wasn't quite in full swing yet, but thanks to the tireless effort of the family's gardening staff, the bushes and flower patches already looked pretty damn impressive.

The neatly trimmed and sculpted hedges were steadily turning greener by the day, the dark cobblestone of the winding footpaths created a sharp contrast with the vibrant greenery, and the forecast said there wouldn't be any blackthorn winter days in the foreseeable future, so they even turned on the small fountain in the middle. I always wanted to take a closer look at it, but I couldn't just wander around here last autumn, and there wasn't much to see during the winter. It still wasn't in full bloom yet, so I made a mental note to ask the girls if they wanted to take a stroll there in a month or so.

"Welcome, future young master."

Lost in thought, I was mildly surprised when I was immediately greeted by Melinda the moment I entered the vestibule. While we routinely saw each other these days due to my frequent visits, it was pretty rare to run into her right away like this.

"Hello, Melinda. Is Abram back yet?"

"Yes, the patriarch returned from his business trip this morning," the prim and proper chambermaid answered without much emotion, but the way she was looking at me made me feel a bit self-conscious.

While we maintained a cordial relationship on the surface, ever since her declaration that she would pursue the princess (in a romantic sense of the word, I assumed), there has been something of a silent tension between the two of us. While Elly reassured me that she wasn't interested in the blonde maid that way and that the 'misunderstanding' was already being taken care of, it didn't change the fact that our interactions remained just a touch strained.

Anyhow, I was just about to ask her to tell Dad-in-law that I was coming, but before I could get to it, another chance encounter interrupted me in my tracks.

"Leonard!" From the top of the fancy stairs leading to the first floor, Emese descended with springy steps. Despite being the esteemed matriarch of the household, she wasn't wearing any fancy dress or even designer clothes, but just a casual outfit with loose jeans and a simple sweatshirt. She beamed at me, an expression that was a mirror image of Elly's happy-go-lucky grin, and she even waved at me. "You should've called ahead! I didn't know you were coming over. Are you staying for dinner?"

"Hello. I'm here to meet Abram, so I wasn't planning to…" Noticing her intent stare, I reconsidered my options. "… but since I'm here, I might as well."

"Great! You're always just rushing in and out on business. It's been ages since the last time the whole family sat down around the dinner table together."

I waited for her to arrive next to me, while Melinda took a respectful step back to give us space.

"To be fair, I'm here to talk business. Or rather, about fifty percent business. You'll see."

"Will I?"

"It's about our spring break plans."

She raised a curious brow and folded her arms, swaying her hip to the side in the process. Was it just me, or did she put on some extra curves recently? In my experience so far, body types seemed to be pretty static in the Simulacrum, so maybe it was just the clothes, but considering she used to be wheelchair-bound, it made sense that she would 'fill out' a bit to emphasize how healthy she got.

Of course, I wasn't going to voice my impression in the open (heck, even ogling her like this was a bit rude), so I cleared her throat and looked her in the eyes again.

"I've heard about it from my daughter," she spoke up when our gazes crossed, her lips once again bending into a smirk that somehow managed to be both playful any yet dignified at once. It was one of the privileges of being an adult, I figured. "Is it still a secret?"

"It's not really a secret at this point, I'm just trying not to openly advertise it, in case things go horribly wrong in the meantime and it gets everyone disappointed."

"That's not a good attitude," she chided me all of a sudden, and before I could respond, she even reached out to pinch my cheek. "Would a bit of optimism kill you?"

"I get that a lot from Elly too, but it's just how I am," I told her, trying my best not to slur my speech.

Mom-in-law exhaled a sigh and let go of me.

"Melinda, please let the kitchen know that we'll have the family four-course menu for today's dinner."

The maid remained motionless, but her gaze flickered over to me for a moment before returning to Emese.

"As you wish, but… the future young master already asked me to lead him to the patriarch's room."

I was pretty sure I didn't get the opportunity to do so yet, but Mom-in-law dismissed her anyway.

"Don't worry, I'll escort Leonard myself. You can attend to your duties in peace."

"Understood."

With that final word in tow, Melinda politely bowed and headed towards the entrance of the servant corridors we used a while ago when I was visiting Percival. By the by, the old man was no longer here. I arranged a small residence for him in the neighbourhood, with a nursing service, where the patrols could keep an eye on him. Snowy had been diligently visiting him (more often than not in the company of Penny, and occasionally even Tajana) every other day. She took my request to learn about intrigue and skullduggery from the old bastard seriously, and he caught on quickly, using the opportunity to prove his 'usefulness' to us.

That tangent aside, Emese gestured for me to follow after her, and we walked up the stairs from whence she came.

"Did something happen between you and Melinda?"

I wasn't expecting a direct question like that, so it took me a second to respond.

"No, not really."

"Are you sure?" She narrowed her eyes and looked me over from head to toe as if something about my posture was odd. "The way she looked at you wasn't normal."

"There might be some tension between us due to certain circumstances, but it's nothing major."

"Tension," she echoed me, still sounding unconvinced. "It's not interest, right?"

"No, of course not," I denied on the spot, and she responded with a sharp nod.

"Good. While I had my initial reservations about this relationship between the three of you… What did Judy call it?"

"Polyfidelity?"

"Yes, that. I'm glad to see that the three of you are close, so make sure you won't ruin it and end up like father-in-law."

I couldn't help but blink in surprise at that.

"The previous patriarch? Why? I thought his wives got along well enough."

Now it was her turn to blink and look at me funny.

"Who told you that?"

"Dad-in-law."

The answer didn't even fully leave my mouth, and she already stifled a groan.

"Figures. Men are just ignorant of these things."

"… So, from what I gather, they don't actually get along."

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"It's complicated." I thought she said that to cut the topic short, but then she immediately continued with, "My mothers-in-law are all… strong personalities, and while they keep up a friendly façade in front of Abram, their relationship with each other can be… stormy at times. It's the reason why they still haven't visited Critias, despite the announcement of your engagement and the forming of the Draconic Federation." She looked at me with a meaningful gaze. "It's only a question of time though. I'd reckon they will put aside their differences and attend your wedding in the future, at the very least. I recommend you steel yourself in preparation."

"You are raising sooo many red flags right now," I grumbled without reservations. "What happened to your lecture about optimism from just a few minutes ago?"

She didn't give me a proper response, only a shrug that could be best interpreted as 'This is this, that is that'. Suddenly feeling a bit nervous about my first encounter with my grand-in-laws, we finally reached the door leading to Abram's study. I've been here more times than I could count, though mostly when discussing Federation business. The place looked much more presentable than the first time I stumbled in, when half of it was filled up to the ceiling with unsold music records.

"Son, honey! What a pleasant surprise!"

Dad-in-law was sitting behind his desk and welcomed us with a hearty laugh and his customary lack of indoor voice, simultaneously pushing a conspicuous pile of documents to the side.

"Good afternoon and such," I greeted him back with a lazy wave. "How did the negotiations go?"

"Worse than ideal, but better than expected," he responded enigmatically and then paused while Emese walked over to his side and presented her face for a quick peck. The two of them smiled and chuckled in that cosy, wholesome way that only harmonious married couples could pull off, yet he soon turned his attention back to me. "But son… Are you sure investing in online businesses like this is a sound strategy? I can wrap my head around sales numbers and distribution channels, but these 'search engines' and 'ad revenue' bits and bobs are Swahili to me."

"In the short term, yes. Trust me, it's going to be a big thing, just remember…"

"Yes, yes," he cut me off with a shake of his hand. "I shouldn't put all my eggs in the same basket, and invest our profits in stable stocks and companies. You told me this every single time we talked business."

"And I'm glad to hear that you listened," I quipped back with a toothy smile and stopped in front of his desk. "But speaking of business, how about the other thing I mentioned?"

"You mean, that investment opportunity you talked about the other day?" Abram paused and absently rubbed his sideburn with a large thumb. "To be honest with you, I'm not sure about it. We have never done any infrastructure development projects, and while I floated the idea to some of the other patriarchs with more business experience in this field, I couldn't get any straightforward responses without sharing the details."

"Were they interested?"

"Yes, but I think it was because your name was attached to the idea. Others though… You see, son, Celestials don't have the best reputation, and while many are eager to deal with you because you represent both them and the Draconian families, there are just as many who are wary of agreeing to anything for the same reason."

"As expected. We'll fix that image problem with time, and…" I paused, and suddenly recalling something, I clicked my tongue. "Before I forget it again, can I ask you to help me put together a press conference?"

"Press?" Emese echoed me, one brow raised in confusion.

"Not in terms of TV stations and news, but internally. Assembly included. I was told I need to clear up people's misgivings about me and my abilities before things get out of control."

"Oh, you mean your ability to teleport," Mom-in-law noted, and Abram suddenly slapped his knee.

"Ha! I know I shouldn't be surprised about what you do, son, but that was still a shock! It does explain how you kept coming and going as you pleased in the mansion though!"

"It certainly does," Emese agreed, but her eyes were still on me. "What kind of 'misconception' do you need to clear up?"

"Things that I could just Phase into anyone's bedroom in the middle of the night and murder them in cold blood." I paused for a beat, and cheekily added, "I reserve harassing people in their sleep to folks I don't like."

"Please don't joke like that in public, or it will only make things worse," she scolded me, while Abram was deep in thought.

"I can pull an emergency assembly and ask Endymonion to send some attendees in a diplomatic function. I don't think they have any news organizations, but word-of-mouth should take care of spreading the news all the same!"

"Maybe we should, then?" Emese proposed, and his husband turned a questioning eye at her. "The Draconic Council keeps pushing out new laws and treaties every week, and it's hard to keep track of it all. We could use something to keep the members and our affiliates up-to-date. Maybe a newsletter?"

"That's not a bad idea," I agreed, but Dad-in-law was less enthusiastic.

"It's not, but… we just finalized the budget the other day, so if we wanted to add a new department to the payroll…"

"Hold that thought, I'm going to ask Judy first," I interjected, and my in-laws both turned to me with a hint of intrigue in their gazes. "She likes to take note of everything and organize data, so I'll ask her if she wants to help with this. Think of it as a test run."

"A capital idea, son!" Abram grinned ear-to-ear, and if he wasn't seated, I was sure he would've tried to pat my back. "It's about time we gave her some kind of official position in the Federation so that those annoying naysayers would finally shut up! Good thinking!"

"Wait, what kind of naysayers are we talking about here?"

Mom-in-law clearly signalled to her husband to keep quiet, but he didn't receive the message, and he told me, "Just some envious old men who think she doesn't have the background or achievements. It's just meaningless buzzing, like a swarm of flies. It's best to ignore them."

"… And how come I've never heard about this before?"

"Because nobody is foolish enough to say it within earshot to you," Mom-in-law told me flatly while simultaneously pinching Abram's ear.

"Ow, honey! What was that for?"

She ignored him and smiled sweetly at me instead.

"I do agree with my hubby that you should ignore them. Don't try to engage with fools, for they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

"… Noted."

I said that, but honestly speaking, the idea that some people in the Draconic Federation were scheming to discredit Judy still didn't sit well with me. I already had too many things to keep track of, but I figured I would have to squeeze 'observe the Council members and their helpers to find the ringleaders' into my daily routine from now on. But that was for later.

For the next half an hour or so, we discussed other business-related minutia, like my 'royalties' from Ouroboros, the company's music streaming platform, and other short and long-term plans, including the upcoming spring break training camp. We didn't go too deeply into the details though, since we would talk during dinner as well, and we would've probably gone into some other tangent if not for a knock on the door.

"Please excuse me," Melinda spoke as she entered and, following a strangely awkward curtsy, she addressed me. "Milady is requesting the presence of future young master in her room, as soon as possible."

"It's fine, we'll continue later," Emese said before I could get a word in, and urged me forward with a smile. "Don't make them wait."

"Sure. I'll see you both at dinnertime."

With that, I bid my farewells and followed after the chambermaid.

"This way, future young master."

"I know. At this point, I can navigate this mansion with my eyes closed."

That was a bit of an overstatement, but Melinda only hummed in response and gestured for me to follow closely. Our short journey to the princess's quarters was quiet and uneventful, though I couldn't help but notice a few odd things. Such as… did Melinda also put on some weight? Or maybe I was just primed to notice small discrepancies due to my previous observations about Emese's hips. No, scratch that; no matter how I looked, she did seem a bit bulkier than usual. Was she like that earlier as well, I wondered.

Not for long though, as we reached Elly's room and Melinda took out a master key. The door was open, so she didn't need to use it, but since I was paying extra attention to her, it just struck me as odd. She stepped aside and gestured for me to enter, and I did so without any reservations.

Elly's room was the same as always, with its eclectic mixture of the girly stuffed animal collection and signed heavy metal posters and paraphernalia both clashing hard with the fancy antique baroque-style furniture. If anything, I considered it a reflection of my princess; odd and quirky, but undeniably cute and wholesome as well. Which made the following observation all the more confusing.

"Where are the girls?" I asked, glancing around in the empty room. I was just about to use Far Sight to see if they went to the toilet or something when my plan was interrupted by the sound of a key turning.

Startled, I looked at Melinda, who just used her master key to lock us in. Not only that, but before I could even utter a cheesy line befitting the situation, such as 'What's the meaning of this?', she turned to face me and, without an ounce of hesitation, she bent over and grabbed the hem of her long skirt. With motions that I could only describe as 'practised', she smoothly pulled her maid dress over her head, revealing… a different maid dress underneath.

Except this one was the impractical kind, with fishnet stockings, a miniskirt, and a short-sleeved top with a freaking boob-window to show off her cleavage. While I was still shocked by the sudden turn of events, she cast her original maid outfit onto the ground and casually adjusted her headdress.

"I was told future young master is aroused by such clothes, so…" She tried to do a curtsy, though it looked a bit silly with the comically short skirt. "I will serve the future young master now."

…

Crap. I walked into this one, didn't I?

PART 3

So, before I start salvaging this weird-ass situation, let's get something out of the way first: What the hell, princess?! How is this, in any shape or form, 'under control'?! You had one job! Naoren botching up like this was one thing, since I never had sky-high expectations of the guy, but this? I mean, I wasn't angry… not really, just… disappointed.

All right, now that I silently vented my frustrations, it was time to address the elephant in the room. Inhaling deeply, I turned around and walked over to Elly's desk in the corner. In front of it stood a fancy wooden chair, with carved flairs and white silk cushions. I grabbed it by the backrest and carried it next to the bed. Once I positioned it so that it was facing the side of said bed, I sat down there and gestured for Melinda.

"Take a seat."

She glanced between me and the empty chair and remained silent for a long, awkward beat.

"I don't know what kind of roleplay future young master wants to—"

"No." I cut her off and swept my hand horizontally for extra emphasis before pointing at the chair again. "Don't 'future young master' me. We're not doing this. We're not doing any of this. Now, sit down, shut up, and listen."

For the first time, her poker face wavered for a second, but then she finally started to move and took a seat, only to then provocatively cross her legs in a way that, if I tried, I could probably see her underwear. In response, I rolled my eyes, reached over to grab one of the large bunny plushies arranged at the end of the bed, and tossed it into her lap, forcing her to adjust her posture.

"Cut it out, and sit properly." For a moment she looked like she was on the verge of pouting, but she followed my instructions and sat up straight while loosely hugging the toy rabbit. "Good. Now, we talk."

I said that, but I needed some time to collect my thoughts first, so I raised a finger to forestall the conversation. Once I felt sufficiently composed, I let my hand down and levelled a stare as dispassionate as possible at the errant chambermaid.

"Listen, Melinda. We both know why you're doing this, so I'm not going to bother with that question. Answer me this instead: what was your goal with this little stunt?" I raised a finger for emphasis once more and enunciated, "Think carefully. Depending on your answer, I might have to be impolite."

"Future young master, I…"

"Also, cut that," I interrupted her before she could get started. "This whole 'passive-aggressive heckling' thing was cute and inconsequential until now, but we're way past that. Stop it."

"… Understood." Looking more disheartened by the minute, she nevertheless collected herself quickly and met my gaze with her own. "I was planning to seduce fut— I mean, you."

"Because Elly rebuked your advances," I ventured a guess. She nodded without hesitation.

"So your plan was to…?"

"Seduce you," she repeated herself, this time sounding impatient.

"No, that's not what I meant. Let me ask this way: what did you want to achieve by doing that?"

Now, she looked borderline confused, as if I just asked her why the sky was blue. She must've seriously considered it a trick question, because after a long pause, she tentatively responded with, "To… become your concubine?"

I didn't point out that this was a question, and instead heaved a soft sigh of relief.

"Good answer. You've got a point. Don't squander it."

Watching her normally stoic expression turn increasingly more confounded was amusing in a way, but I didn't say that just to bamboozle her. I was genuinely relieved that she had such a 'straightforward' motivation. If she wanted to seduce me to create a scandal and break us up, or something to that effect, it would've been much harder to deal with her in good faith.

More importantly though… did she just say 'concubine'? Isn't that something like an 'official' mistress one would keep while also having a spouse? I had encountered the term a few times while reading the 'research material' Judy occasionally foisted on me, and… wait.

Oh, for the love of…! Was this another shoujo romance plot trope development? Goddammit, I thought I already mitigated those by disarming that ticking plot-bomb between Naoren, Rinne, and Ysolde, but I was so focused on it that I got blindsided by this event instead. Ugh. I hate it when that happened.

Pushing my irritation down, I crossed my arms.

"You don't actually like me though, and if you just wanted to stay close to Elly, there was no need for any of this. I'm not going to take her away anywhere any time soon. What were you thinking?" She reflexively shook her head, but after some hesitation she nodded… and then shook her head again. "That wasn't a yes/no question. Speak up."

Hesitant at first, Melinda shifted and squirmed in her seat, but at last she found her resolve and began to speak in a calm yet slightly strained voice.

"Milady told me that she doesn't reciprocate my feelings and that she's not attracted to women, but…" She looked at me intently, as if trying to read my expression, so I stilled my face and waited for her to continue. "But it's an open secret that Milady and Lady Judy are in a physical relationship. Therefore, I concluded that if I were to become your partner as well, I could still get closer to Milady, even if she wouldn't be looking at me alone."

"… Seriously? That was your plan?"

"Yes, so…" She inhaled sharply and looked me deep in the eye. "I understand that we haven't always seen eye to eye, but I'm still going to shamelessly request this favor from you. I don't have much to offer, other than my body, but I—"

"Stop, stop! Are you even listening to yourself? Bloody hell, Melinda! Have some god-forsaken self-respect!"

Startled by my impassioned interruption, she shrunk back in her seat. Seeing that, I toned back my voice and raised my palms to show I meant no harm.

"Listen, Melinda. You're labouring under multiple misunderstandings here, so let's quickly dismantle them. First off, despite what the rumour mill says, Elly and Judy aren't together like that, making your entire plan pointless. Secondly, I'm really not the kind of guy you're going to be able to grab with sex-appeal like that, so even if it wasn't pointless, your plan was doomed from the start. Finally, while I'm no relationship expert, I can tell you with confidence that being a fourth wheel in someone else's relationship isn't what you want, so even if in some weird parallel universe you somehow succeeded, you still wouldn't have succeeded. Not really. In other words, your plan was pointless, doomed, and misguided right off the drawing board. It's a trifecta of failure."

"Then what was I supposed to do?" She snapped at me, though her voice was still weak. "What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, but this approach obviously wouldn't work and will never work. You can't just get around someone's sexual orientation with a clever loophole like that."

"Do you think I don't know that?!" she burst out, at last, finally shedding her inhibitions and squeezing the rabbit plushie against her torso so hard it looked painful. "I've been with Milady much, much longer than you! I loved her ever since… ever since we first met! I knew that she wasn't interested in me, in girls, but… but I held out hope! Do you have any idea how it felt? When I finally mustered the courage to confess my feelings, and she told me I was like a sister to her?"

Oof, princess. Sister-zoning her probably wasn't the brightest decision, though knowing her, she probably blurted it out in the heat of the moment while blushing red like a tomato. I could cut some slack for her for that, but Judy knew the tropes, so she should've coached her about this beforehand. Oh well, it's spilt milk now, so no point stressing over it.

"No, I don't know how it felt," I responded as calmly as possible to keep things civil. "As I just told you, contrary to popular belief, I'm no relationship expert. Hell, I very nearly blew my relationship with the girls early on and had to course-correct hard to make up for it. There's no advice I can give you in good faith that can help you score with the princess, but I can at least tell you this: this current approach of yours is never going to work, and you'll never 'fix' her orientation, so I can only see two potentially workable options for you. You can either give up on Elly and look for other fish in the sea, or you give up on a romantic relationship with her and find fulfilment in other ways. It's your choice to make."

For the next minute or so, the two of us sat in silence while Melinda ruminated over my words. She wasn't crying, or throwing a tantrum, but the minute changes in her expression told me that she was undergoing substantial internal turmoil. While I wondered if I got better at reading people's expressions thanks to my constant exposure to Judy, she finally came to some sort of resolution.

"I… want to stay by Milady's side. I can't bear to part with her."

She watched my reaction closely, so I flashed a reassuring smile.

"Sure. You do you." Melinda let out a sharp breath. Was it in relief? Or something else? Maybe I wasn't so great at reading people's emotions after all. Anyhow, I linked my fingers in my lap and told her, "But if you want to do that, I recommend you first go and sit down with Elly. Properly, this time, and have a good long talk about this without any double-talk, or innuendo. Okay?"

"Yes. I will… follow Master Leonard's advice."

I eyed her suspiciously for a second, but she appeared completely sincere.

"I can't decide if that's better or worse than 'future young master', so let's just agree to…" As I was speaking, there was something that caught my attention. Didn't Melinda lock the door behind her? "Just a second, I'll be right back."

Saying so, I stood up and walked over to the door at a brisk pace. I could already hear movement on the other side, and I didn't even need to use Far Sight to figure out the identity of our eavesdroppers.

"What are you two doing?" I asked, only mildly exasperated, and my princess awkwardly grinned at me in return.

"Science," my dear assistant responded in her usual deadpan voice. Even after being discovered like this, the two of them continued to crouch in the hallway.

The door was already slightly ajar when I walked up to it, so I guessed that they returned while I was in the middle of clearing things up with Melinda, Elly quietly unlocked the door, and then they kept silently watching us through the gap.

Funnily enough, the first to react to the new development was Melinda, who hastily stood up and bowed towards the door. Even more amusingly, she was still holding on to the plushie, probably to cover up her exposed cleavage, because that sexy maid outfit did a pretty bad job at that. But then again, its actual job was precisely to be titillating, so maybe it was doing too well? And why was I internally debating the efficiency of fetish paraphernalia again?

…

Oh, right. Because this situation was awkward, and my brain was looking for an outlet. Shaking my head, I gestured for the girls to get up and come inside. I didn't know how long they'd been eavesdropping on us, but they must've heard the end of our discussion at the very least, because Elly walked past me and approached the braided maid with stiff steps.

"Um… M-Melinda?"

"Yes, Milady?"

"Let's… talk." After squeezing that out, she subtly glanced my way, as if looking for validation, and when I nodded, she let out a sharp breath and repeated herself, though this time with more gusto. "Let's talk over there!"

She pulled Melinda towards the corner of the room, and while I had half a mind to accompany them, just to make sure they reached a proper consensus, my attention was wrestled away from those two by Judy, who attached herself to me right after she closed the door.

"You've got eight points," she stated bluntly, and I couldn't help but turn to her.

"Excuse me? Eight out of what?"

"Ten," she told me flatly and showed me her phone screen, currently dominated by a bunch of graphs and pie charts. "It's your performance on our anti-harem counter-measure scale."

"That has a scale?" I blurted out, only to belatedly realise that wasn't the main point. "Wait, if you had time to grade me, you should've come in and helped to defuse the situation."

"There was no need. You handled it well." She put away her phone and pulled me towards the bed, and we both sat down. "For a moment we wondered if it would be another Elly-at-the-rooftop situation, but you have managed to concisely yet definitely rebuff her. Good job."

"If it was a good job, then why am I only getting an eight?" I grumbled, more out of principle than anything else.

"Because your tone score pulled down your overall rating." When I frowned at her, she clarified, "You have to be more delicate with girls, Chief. Being direct in situations like this is important, but being too blunt can be detrimental to your popularity."

"Wait, isn't the whole point of your anti-harem counter-measures to make me less popular? That doesn't make any sense."

"Hush, Chief. Don't question the scientific method."

"Scientific my butt. Your scoring system is as scientific as homoeopathy."

Judy blinked and reeled back as if I just hit her in the nose.

"That's a low blow, Chief. Slanderous, even." She cleared her throat, and suddenly started mimicking some kind of accent. Maybe a southern drawl? Something in that ballpark. "In more civilized lands, what you just said would be grounds for a lawsuit."

Matching her, I tried to mimic her fake accent, and it only turned out even sillier.

"What? If you can rate me tone, I can rate your sciencey-ness, young lady. It's only fair."

"I let you know, my science is impeccable and beyond question. By the way, have you ever heard of the prophet Charles Darwin? I can give you a pamphlet if you want to learn more."

"And now I'm being evangelized!" I huffed and puffed and threw my hands into the air. "Let me tell you, young lady, in this household, we only believe in the word of Isaac Newton, and obey the laws of thermodynamics! My science says no thing about my grandpappy being a rock, only about rocks circling other rocks!"

"I assure you, we both worship the same science. If you would just listen to…"

Her words trailed off as, in the background, suddenly both Elly and Melinda started bawling and hugged each other, crushing the poor (or lucky, based on perspective) plushie between them.

"Should we go over?" Judy asked, dropping the accent, and after some deliberation, I shook my head.

"Nah. We should let them get it out of their system."

"If you say so." Judy quickly checked her e-mails and then glanced up at me. "Once they're done, do we have any other plans for today?"

"Mom-in-law already reserved me for dinner."

"Oh. Then I guess I'll better message Mom and tell her that I won't be home until the evening." Even as she said that, her thumb kept moving on the screen so fast I could barely follow, and then she unceremoniously put away her phone. "Done. Where were we?"

"Something about worshipping the same science."

"Right." She cleared her throat and adopted the same fake accent again. "Sir, we both know there's only one true Science. If you would only open your heart and let the words of prophet Darwin enter."

"Yeah, you know who else said that, young lady? Those gosh-darn quantum theory folks! We, in the Neo-Newtonian Mechanicist Church or Latter-Day Orbits don't take kindly to no folks like those phoneys around here, with their dead-alive cats and wriggly strings! You're no quantum theorist, are you?"

And like that, we continued to play around until it was either dinner-time, or Elly and Melinda stopped being dramatic in the background. Whichever came first. That was pretty much the plan from the get-go anyway, until the chambermaid threw a wrench in the works, but now things were back on track and harmonious as ever.

At least, by our standards. But who cared about others' standards, anyway?

PART 4

"So lemme see if I've got this straight…"

Josh said that, but then there was motion on our left and he swung his pistol in the direction. His movements were sharp and precise, and it only took him a blink of an eye to line up the shot and pull the trigger, causing the zombie's head to explode into ludicrous gibs.

"Nice shot."

"Thanks. I need to reload, cover me." He let his gun down for a few seconds before raising it again and taking a couple of shots at some distant, shambling targets. It didn't stop him from continuing his previous train of thought. "So, Ms Yamako got engaged to Zihao's older brother. For real."

"Yeah, for real this time," I responded tersely while unloading on a big, fat zombie skipping towards us.

"Right, because before that, there was some kind of misunderstanding and they were only planning to get engaged for political reasons, and… Shit, horde on our right!" We both emptied our magazines into the group of shamblers. "I've only got two magazines left. We could really use a supply crate."

"I've still got five. Pace yourself and I'll try to cover your side too."

"Thanks. Where was I?" Two shots later, he clicked his tongue. "Right, so the reason for that weird scene at the party, before Bel showed up, was that this other woman thought there was some conspiracy going on, but then you dragged them over to sit them down, and now we're going to have a tournament and they are going to duel there, even though everything got cleared up."

"That's the gist of it," I confirmed, followed by a couple of shots towards Josh's side. "Also, there's going to be another party where they'll officially announce their engagement again."

"Are you gonna attend it?" Josh asked absently, followed by a whispered, "Oh, supplies."

"I kind of have to."

There was a short lull in the conversation, and since there were no living dead in sight, Josh used the opportunity to send a sideways glance my way.

"Dude, you're running something like three different organizations, on top of the coming exams and two girlfriends. How the hell do you have the energy to deal with others' relationship problems on top of all that?"

"Hey, give me a break. It's not like I wanted to deal with any of that. I just got entangled in that mess against my will."

"Yeah, you always say that," he grumbled, but then his eyes snapped forward and he looked down the sights of his pistol again. "Look out! It's a big guy!"

Following his urging, I also raised my gun, the orange plastic feeling strange but not uncomfortable in my hands as I aimed at the head of the incoming giant zombie… only to realize that it had no head.

"What's this one's weak point?"

"I dunno, I never got this far with Angie! Let's just unload all over it until something flashes red!"

"Gotcha!"

And with that, our epic battle against the third boss of 'The Manor of the Deceased 4' began in earnest. The sounds of the large cabinet were drowned out by the background noise of the rest of the arcade, and despite our valiant efforts, we couldn't find its weakness in time and our health bar steadily plummeted to zero.

"Man, this is bullcrap," my friend grumbled as the countdown animation played on the screen, asking us if we wanted to throw in another quarter to continue. Instead, he returned his light-gun into its socked and turned to me. "I had it with this game. I'm not wasting a single Jen more on this unfair mess."

I eyed him for a second, and then also slid my pistol into its receptacle.

"You say that, but you're just going to look up the boss's weak spot on the internet and then try again next time with Angie, right?"

"No," he responded a touch petulantly, but then after a while he averted his gaze and added an almost sulky, "Maybe."

"Hey, I'm not judging."

With that said, I stepped out of the enclosed cabinet, one of the biggest in the arcade, and let out a pent-up breath. It was a nice Saturday afternoon, and Josh and I had been spending it by trying out all the various new arcade machines the establishment acquired as of late. I admit I thought their business would suffer from the proliferation of more 'modern' technology I subconsciously reality-warped into the world, yet my expectations were not only wrong but completely the opposite of reality.

Put simply, while internet-age tech, like flat screens, smart phones, and dot-com businesses became a part of our world, it didn't mean they spread through all of society all at once. Most people I knew still had CRT televisions and monitors, and old-school keypad phones were still way more common than touch-screen ones among the kids at school.

Conversely, newer gaming systems were also a rarity, explaining why Angie was so hyped about Penny's 'next-gen' console in our living room. It wasn't cheap, not by a long shot, so the average consumer wasn't familiar with 3D graphics yet; especially not on home consoles and PCs. Because of this, arcade machines like the one we just played, with their comparatively high-end graphics and special effects, were absolutely flooring everyone who laid their eyes on them, as shown by just how crowded the arcade was at this hour.

Seeing that two guys were already taking out spots in front of the screen, I gestured for Josh to come along.

"Anything else you wanted to try out?" After some thinking, he pointed at the row of three identical claw crane machines in the back, prompting me to raise a brow at him. "Seriously?"

"Angie really wants the panda bear plushie from it, but I couldn't get it the last time." He paused meaningfully and shook his jacket. While it was hard to make it out over the noise floor of the arcade, I was pretty sure he was trying to showcase how he had like a hundred quarters in his pockets. "I came prepared this time."

"Huh. Now that you mention it, maybe I should get some souvenirs for the girls as well. My sisters too, while I'm at it."

"Be my guest, but…" He stopped and extended a fist towards me. "If you get the panda, we trade. Deal?"

I responded with a nonchalant "Deal," and bumped his fist. Josh nodded solemnly, as if we just made some great oath, and we walked over to the claw machines. Unlike the rest of the arcade, this spot was relatively deserted. Probably because everyone was crowding around the new cabinets, but either way, only two guys standing in front of the machines filled with colourful plushies was at least a little odd. If I wasn't fully confident in my masculinity, it might've even felt a bit awkward.

There were more important things to consider though, and in a way, this corner of the arcade being somewhat deserted was a good thing. The whole point of hanging out with Josh today, at least before we got side-tracked, was to probe and hopefully ease his insecurities a little before they would turn into a full-blown complex of some kind.

The only problem was that I had no idea how to get the conversation rolling. I mean, I couldn't just start with something like 'Hey, do you have any self-doubts?'. Or… technically I could. It wouldn't have been the first time I started a meaningful conversation with an abject non-sequitur that somehow still worked out. It's how I got Judy 'hired' as my assistant in the beginning, after all, but I wasn't sure it was a good idea to do that here.

While thinking about how to break the ice, I absentmindedly threw a couple of quarters into the machine and grabbed the joystick in front of me. These claw crane games were pretty simple ordeals; you just had to position the crane mechanism over the pile of prizes at the bottom (in this case, small plushies), and once you were satisfied, just press the big red button. I did just that, and the three-pronged claw descended from above and gently closed on the target. Of course, if one could get a prize every time, then it would hardly be profitable for the owner, so the machine was pretty flimsy, and there was a chance it wouldn't grab anything, or even lose its grip on the way to the dispenser.

Luckily, my very first attempt got a pretty good grasp on a plush animal, and after slowly lifting it out of the pile, it smoothly took it to the hole on the side before dropping it. My prize tumbled down the chute and then landed with a catchy jingle and some flashing lights, bringing a grin to my face.

"Look, Josh. First try."

My friend looked over and clicked his tongue.

"And you've got a panda too? Damn…" He let out a groan, just as his own crane just dropped the little penguin he grabbed. "Why is everything so easy for you?"

"It was just dumb luck."

"Yeah, sure," he grumbled and, seeing that his crane returned to the start position, threw another bunch of quarters into the machine. "You know you can't explain everything with luck, right?"

"But I swear, this time it really was luck. I wasn't even aiming at the panda, you know?"

My friend gave me a flat look and then returned to the game.

"And yet everything works out for you just fine. Must be because of that whole 'destiny' thing Angie and Ammy keep talking about, huh?"

"Maaaybe?" I responded just a bit evasively, and he let out a soft scoff without looking at me.

"Do you remember that time, way back when? When you told me you felt like you were made the captain of a ship without knowing what's going on?" Speaking of non-sequiturs, that was definitely one right out of my playbook, but I was sure he was going somewhere with it, so I grunted in the affirmative. "I didn't wanna admit it at the time, but that made me feel a bit… is vindicated the right word?" Meanwhile, Josh's claw landed on the same penguin plushie from before, and it lifted it into the air. "I felt like, 'Hey, I have it rough, but this guy also has it rough, so I'm not the only one,' or something like that. You know what I'm trying to say?"

"Yeah, kind of."

He hummed as the crane slowly inched towards the chute, but it dropped the plushie too early, and it bounced off the edge.

"Sunova…" Grumbling, he immediately loaded up the next round. I felt like I should do so as well, so I followed his example and continued to listen to him while aiming my crane. "The point I'm trying to make is that back then, I thought we were birds of a feather. Sure, I was overwhelmed with all that talk about prophecies and chosen ones and whatever, but everyone had their own problems. We were kinda on the same page, you know? I imagined that if someone like you could deal with his problems, then so could I."

"Hey! What do you mean by 'someone like you'?" I snapped at him, though not seriously.

"Oh, you know?" He shrugged and somehow managed to grab the same plushie for the third time. He was anything but inconsistent, I had to give him that. "A goofball. A sore loser. A bit of a Casanova-wannabe. Relatively normal."

"I take umbrage to that," I continued to huff in mock outrage. "I'm not 'relatively' normal. I'm normally normal."

"Yeah, buddy. You keep telling yourself that." There was a hint of a smile on his lips that turned into a full-blown grin when the plushie finally landed in the chute. "Boom! In your face, stupid crane."

"Neat. Do you want to trade now?" I offered, but he shook his head.

"Nah. Supply and demand. You have what I want, and you need multiple plushies, so it only makes sense that I trade that one for at least two."

"Suit yourself." I shrugged and pressed my red button, and magnificently missed my target in the pile, grabbing onto thin air. "You see? I told you it was luck."

"Yeah, and I would be inclined to believe you if that was an isolated incident," my friend replied dourly as he loaded the machine for the next round. "Let's be honest though; we're no longer on the same page. I'm not sure we ever were, now that I think about it." He let out a shallow sigh and triggered the grabbing mechanism before looking at me again. "Take what happened in Elysium for example. When I was kidnapped by those scumbags, it was a complete shit show and barely managed to get away while Angie had nearly blown up the whole floor. When you got kidnapped by the same scumbags, you wrapped the whole damn place around your pinkie finger and overthrew their entire government to install your own. Not exactly in the same ballpark."

"If you boil down the whole incident like that, then of course it isn't," I griped. "Things were a little more involved and hairier than that, you know?"

"Probably, but it still shows the difference," he argued back in a soft, almost serene voice. "When you get into a crazy situation like that, you turn everything on its head and make it work out for you, but when I do, I just end up flailing around until someone comes to the rescue." He followed that up with a sigh, and even though he managed to nab a koala plushie, there was nary a hint of a smile on his face this time. "Like back when you had to bail me out when Sahi caught us red-handed. Or when you had to bail me out when we were kidnapped by the Celestials. Or when you had to bail me out when I was shot and Deus went on a rampage in Angie's body. Or when you had to bail me out and reveal your trump card against Bel. Or when you…"

"Hey, quit it. You're sounding like a depressed mop."

"Maybe, but you can't deny any of what I said, can you?" He didn't even wait for me to respond, and after getting his second plushie, he automatically loaded in the quarters again, as if on autopilot. "You know, for a while I thought I've got it together. I mean, I won a tournament, and I was acknowledged by a bunch of people, and everything, so I thought 'Hey, maybe there's something to this whole dumb chosen one thing after all?'. But ever since then, I've been on a losing streak, and I've been wondering… Just what am I doing? What am I supposed to do?" He paused for a meaningful beat, visibly hesitating over whether to say his next line out loud. In the end, he looked at me again and spoke in a low, hollow voice. "I kinda tried to look at you for an example, but I just can't do it. I can't do things like you do, so… I'm feeling a bit lost."

"You see, that was your one mistake." The atmosphere was getting a bit heavy, so I fully turned his way and flashed a devil-may-care grin to shift the mood a bit. "You can't emulate me when even I don't know what the heck I'm doing. That's just plain impossible."

"Again, you keep saying that, but—"

"No, I'm actually serious. Most of the time, I'm just flying by the seat of my pants and hoping for the best. I'm the last guy you should try looking at when you need a role model."

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"The same thing as always?" I shrugged and turned back to the machine. "You put yourself down, but you did win that tournament on your own, you did save Angie from a bullet, and you are the boyfriend and future consort of the ruler of an entire pocket dimension nation. And that's not even counting your comparatively smaller achievements. Most people would kill to have just a fraction of your resumé, and it's only going to get longer from now on."

"Maybe, but…"

"No buts. You're just in a bit of a rough spot right now, but it'll pass. It's the same thing Elly always tells me, and she's right."

Of course, there's the small issue that there would be another rough patch coming up right after that, inevitably, but that wasn't what he needed to hear right now.

"Fine, maybe you're right, but I'm still feeling useless right now. I mean, I just can't get used to these Celestial powers."

"Give it some time."

"But what if there's another emergency during that 'some time'? What if Bel attacks us, or Lily's ex-brother comes back, or some completely new threat emerges, like… Idunno… Mole people?"

Stifling a chuckle, I shook my head.

"Even if that happens, I'll have your back, and you'll have mine, and it'll work out somehow."

I said that with a smile, even while my inner pessimist was screaming at me for saying such sappy lines. I wasn't lying though.

"Have your back, huh?"

"Yep. That's what friends are for, right?"

"Right…"

Josh's eyes shone with a sense of determination, so I considered that mission accomplished. Now, there was only one more thing to take care of…

"Sooo… Are you going to keep pulling?" My friend's face slackened and he looked at me blankly, so I subtly gestured towards the tray next to his claw machine. "I think you've got enough for a fair trade."

That was an understatement, as even while we talked, he never stopped playing the crane game, and at this point, he had something like seven or eight plushies. In contrast, mine still only had that one single panda bear. Now granted, I stopped playing after the fourth failed attempt to grab something, but if anything, it just proved my initial argument about it being pure luck true.

"I think I do…" After muttering so, he scooped up all the toys and presented them to me. "Here. All of mine for all of yours."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You have lots of girls in your extended family, so you'll probably need the extras."

"You might be right." I exchanged my panda bear for his whole haul, and after stuffing them in my bag, I flashed a smile. "Thanks, pal."

"No. Thank you, bud."

And that was the curtain call of the day, punctuated with another fist-bump. Good times, good times.