PART 1

"Wooow! Look at the sea!"

"Slow down, you're going to trip!"

Josh rushed after his girlfriend, and the two of them were both jumped back when a wave nearly washed over their ankles. Sharing a chuckle, they moved back a bit and continued to discuss the beach. On my left, my in-laws did the same.

"I have to admit, I've never been to a private beach like this before," Clarke, Judy's dad, mused with a hand shielding his eyes from the afternoon sun.

"Neither have I," Arnwald chimed in thoughtfully. "It's a luxury I could seldom afford due to my… duties."

Ambram let out a hearty laugh by their side and pointed at the languid shore in front of us.

"I like this one! It's a little under-developed, but it has a natural charm to it!" He paused and made a frame with his extended thumbs and index fingers. "It could use a restaurant there though. Or a bar. Maybe some palm trees too."

While the menfolk were discussing that, the wives were busy sharing gossip, our friend group followed after Josh and Angie, while the Assembly team…

"But I want to go swimming with Paz!"

"Sahi, you volunteered for this mission to guard Amelia. Please conduct yourself accordingly," Lord Barnabas scolded her, and the brown girl responded with a huge pout.

"Aw! This is so bogus!" Then, her eyes suddenly lit up and turned to armband guy. "Wait! Like, if she takes a dip, we can totally follow her in! Come, Paz! Let's throw her in the sea!"

"That is not how bodyguards should act," he said morosely, and…

Yeah, that corner had its own troubles. So did I, though mine were very close by, and could be counted on three fingers.

"You have five minutes to explain what you're doing here."

The three ex-directors shuffled their feet like a group of kids in front of the school principal, but Tsephanyah eventually stepped forth to speak up. For the record, he was still dressed like a stereotypical angler with the bucket cap and the baits and everything, and he was wearing it as proudly as he did his official togas.

"Since Lord Polemos entrusted me with the arrangement of this location, I deemed it necessary to continue the work until the very end and provide the best hospitality possible for our guests."

"So you prepared for a fishing trip in advance, on your own initiative." He nodded without a shred of apprehension. "How did you even know that they wanted to…?" I was half-way through the question when I realized it was a dumb one, so raised a hand to my temple. "Right, Celestial information network. Never mind."

I was still a bit annoyed by this, considering that the topic only came up once, during Christmas dinner, yet it somehow still reached this man's ears. That meant there were moles in the Dracis family, which… wasn't that surprising, to be honest. It was the Celestials we were talking about here, but since it came up, I made a mental note to ask Judy to look into it once we're back home. She had more or less completely taken over the Celestial Hub during the last couple of weeks, so she should've had no trouble with that.

But back to Tsephanyah. It was true that I asked him to coordinate the construction of this makeshift beach resort on short notice, and he went above and beyond my expectations, so I didn't feel right to call him out too hard for the 'extra service' he prepared. In the end, I exhaled a long breath and decided to just let it slide, at least for now. As for our second contestant.

"Lord Archon."

Mensah lightly bowed at me, and after readjusting the thingie in his ear (actually, I never figured out what that was, did I?) he produced a small doohickey from his sleeve. He pulled it apart, and it unfolded like a reverse-origami, forming a kind of frame with streaks of light between them. Soon those light started swirling, and then snapped into an image of numbers, graphs, and an honest-to-goodness pie chart. Was… was that a magitech tablet of some sorts?

The youngest ex-director looked pleased by my intrigued reaction and showed off his toy to me.

"As we have already discussed after the last meeting of the Synderion, our budget is stretched thin at the moment." That part wasn't entirely surprising, considering that the Elysium was effectively an agrarian society holding up a magitech military-industrial complex. I was surprised that their economy even functioned until this point. Meanwhile, Mensah pointed at one of the charts and continued, "We're all expecting this to change once Archonpoint becomes operational, but since it's an untested system, I found it prudent to hedge our bets a little. Since cooperation with the Assembly and the Draconic Federation would result in the development of new sectors of commerce, I've made a humble attempt to kickstart a potential tourism industry within Elysium. As such, I found it rational to use the opportunity a visit from pivotal members of the major factions provided to introduce them to the potential investment prospects this venture would provide."

That… was way more sensible than I thought it would be. Which meant…

"Once we've established this new revenue stream, I believe the main budgetary objection to my last proposal in front of the Synderion should be easily dismissed, and we could continue the seven-step rearmament program outlined in my…"

Yep, there it was. The sky's blue, the sun's bright, and Dolion's prepping for war. Some things were constant in life, no matter the circumstances, I supposed. I waved at him, just as he was about to get into explaining the other charts on his magi-tablet-thing, and he quieted down. At last, I turned to Savir.

"It's your turn, Eris," I told her flatly, and then added. "You have until my aide returns to convince me that I shouldn't bury you. Proceed."

"That's not amusing at all," she fumed with her arms crossed. "I have come here following your instructions." I naturally raised a skeptical brow at that, and she just as naturally doubled down. "I believe your exact words were that whenever you would return to Elysium, as your advisers, we would be required to stay by your side as a show of united support. I was simply doing my part."

"… That's your excuse. What's the real reason?"

Our gazes locked for a while, until she breathed out a vexed sigh and slouched her shoulders.

"As a matter of fact, I have numerous reasons to come before you, but some of those reasons require privacy."

I raised my brow even higher and gestured towards the two men at my side.

"I have information for your ears only," she insisted, and Mensah let out a soft scoff in return. She ignored him and only focused on me. "We should talk in private at your earliest convenience."

"We'll see about that," I concluded with a soft grunt, just in time for Mike to return with other familiar faces in tow.

"I'm back! And I've found help!"

"At your service," Jaakobah addressed me simply, and the only reason why he didn't salute was because he was carrying a shovel. So did the rest of the praetorian guards lined up behind him, holding their tools like weapons. Firm gazes, straight postures, exuding unmatched determination… it was like I was looking at a squad of soldiers in the war against invasive shrubs preparing for battle. It would've been almost impressive, if not for the whole situation being so silly.

Nodding in their direction, I turned my eye back to Savir, and when our gazes met again, she took half a step back.

"Polemos. This isn't funny."

"No, it's not. This is entirely serious," I insisted, doing my best not to ruin the moment with a grin. I let her sweat it out for a bit and only addressed her when she looked like she was about to run away. "You still haven't answered for aggravating my fiancées, but for the time being, I'm putting you on probation. Depending on your behaviour, the degree and orientation of your burial may change. Watch your steps, Eris, for I'll be watching them as well."

"I… erm…"

She clearly wasn't expecting that, but before she could get a proper word in, I turned to the other two ex-directors.

"The same warning applies to you. Sans the burying. That's reserved for Eris, but I'm not tolerating any inconvenience befalling my companions."

"Naturally," Tsephanyah responded glibly and bowed, with Mensah following suit.

"Good. You're dismissed for the time being." I pointedly turned to the gathered Praetorian Guards plus Mike and waited for the trio to retreat before raising my voice again. "Anything to report?"

"We have secured the site of operations, as per the Second True Archon's instructions."

"What… about the shovels?" Michael butted in a touch meekly, and he was visibly self-conscious about the tool in his hands.

"We might need them in the future, but not right now. Store them within arm's reach. Also…" I reached out and took the shovel from his hand, and then handed it over to the nearby facemask fella. "Go to Ammy's side. She's waiting for you."

Surprised, the hapless Celestial glanced over his shoulder, towards the rest of the group. They were idling around on the shore, and right there, the class rep was intently staring at us. She got a large straw hat from somewhere at some point, and her floaty orbs were lazily rolling on top of its rim. More importantly, I could feel her disapproval from over here; she probably didn't like that I was ordering her boyfriend around like that.

"At once!" Mike exclaimed with a grin and skipped away, leaving me with my guards. I could tell that Jaakobah had something to say ever since the moment he arrived here, so I gestured to him to speak his mind.

He stabbed his shovel into the ground and gave me a proper salute first.

"Lord Archon. It came to our attention that you have chosen a pair of heralds."

I… wasn't expecting that to be the first thing he would mention, and my eyes were automatically drawn to the pair of small Celestials, currently under the care of my sisters. The four of them were barefoot on the sand and frolicking in the waves of shallow water.

"'Herald' might not be the right word, but yes, I have appointed them to be my…" What did I name them again? I did it in the heat of the moment, and I didn't give it much thought, so it took a second to recall. "My Chief Reminders, yes. To tell people to behave reasonably around me during our stay."

In retrospect, that did sound like a herald, didn't it? Whatever opinion my Prefect had on the sudden promotion I gave those two, he kept it to himself, remaining sombre and straightforward as ever.

"Understood. I will see to it that they fulfil the duties you entrusted upon them." I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but before I could ask, he moved on. "Staying on the topic of official promotions, I would request the Lord Archon's opinion on a certain matter regarding the expansion of the Praetorian Guards."

"I'm listening."

Jaakobah loosened his posture and gestured for the rest to do the same.

"Since the formation of the Synderion and the arrangements made by Primus Khurshid and Strategos Gideon, we have received thousands of applications from all branches and walks of the Elysian military."

"Sir, to be exact, it's four-thousand, seven-hundred and ninety-seven volunteers, sir!" armour guy called out behind him, and Jaakobah raised two fingers in response and then clenched them into a fist.

Was that telling him to shut up, thanking him for the elaboration, or something in-between? I had no idea, and I couldn't even judge it by armour guy's reaction either, as he was wearing his full helmet.

"Quite. However, before we can proceed with their evaluation, I would like to request the Lord Archon's wisdom on the matter."

He was really dancing around the issue, wasn't he?

"If there's a problem, just say it as it is. Stop beating around the bush."

"It's less of a problem and more of a matter of definitions. Or lack thereof," he told me blandly and put his hands behind his back. "As a freshly established branch of the Elysian military, and one solely under the jurisdiction of the Lord Archon, we're lacking in history and traditions. As of right now, being part of the Praetorian Guards is considered a badge of honor, no small part due to the elite nature of our unit."

Responding to his words, the rest of the group unconsciously puffed up their chests with pride… which made the fact that they were still carrying shovels all the more hilarious. But I digress.

"To put it in plain terms, we are currently being acknowledged as the best Elysium can offer, trusted by the Archons and bearing both great responsibility and respect. Were we to open our ranks wider, it would inevitably lead to the Praetorian Guards as a whole losing some of our prestige, with no history of service to fall back to, but refusing all applicants just to hold onto our status as a unit composed only of elites would just as damaging to our image."

"So you feel like you're trapped between a rock and a hard place," I mused, and some of them nodded in response. Others looked ashamed, as if asking for my advice was already an admission of incompetence. Jaakobah, on the other hand, was as unperturbed as ever. "There's a simple solution to this. You just need to uphold the standards, right?" He raised an intrigued brow at that. "You say that the prestige of the Praetorian Guards is currently coming from being the crème de la crème. If that's the case, just make sure the newcomers are up to par, and only accept those who meet your criteria. You can set the bar as hight as you deem necessary."

It was clear I wasn't the only one who thought this was the obvious solution, since Jaakobah immediately saluted with a satisfied glint in his eyes.

"We will endeavor to follow the Second True Archon's wisdom."

This was getting dangerously close to micromanagement, and that was the last thing I wanted to do on my vacation.

"Return to your duties."

"As the Lord Archon commands!"

They saluted me as one (except for facemask fellow, because he had two shovels) and left the beach in an orderly fashion. I waited for a bit to see if anyone else wanted to approach me with more official business, but thankfully that was the last of them. As such, I made my way over to the girls, who joined my sisters in the shallow water.

I didn't want to take off my shoes, so I only watched them run around the wet sand and the ankle-deep water. It was a nice view, framed by the blue sky and the endless horizon. I rationally knew that it wasn't so, not even as poetically as it was 'outside', but it looked just like the real deal.

Realizing that I was done with the Celestials, Penny was the first to skip over to my side, closely followed by the two kids.

"Look, brother! I'm a big sister now!" she declared proudly and presented the Celestials girls. They froze up for a moment, but then they balled up their little fists and stepped forth.

"Big Sister Penelope!"/"…ter Penelope…"

The two of them spoke with varying levels of passion, and my sister let out a delighted giggle. The next one to come over was Snowy, her lips bent in an odd smile. I knew that they had a 'thing' where they sometimes argued over who was the little sister in the family, so her reaction was most likely related to that. On second thought, it was mostly just Penny who insisted on being the 'big sister', and it appeared that the little ones were also roped into the 'argument'.

"Wouldn't that make Leonard the big brother?" Morgana chimed in from behind, walking towards us arm-in-arm with Arnwald. At one point or another the parent couples rejoined each other and now everyone was wandering the beach.

"I'm not sure our family is ready to grow again," Arnwald responded in a low voice, but she just smiled mysteriously.

"Are you sure?"

"While… it could be fine to welcome little ones into our fold, I'm afraid our duties would interfere with raising young children."

"Duty always calls, but we only have one life," she argued back.

"It's true, but…"

At this point I was pretty sure their discussion wasn't about the two confused Celestial girls, but I decided not to interfere, or even acknowledge their personal affairs. I've been getting involved in those way too many times in the past, and they only gave me headaches. They were adults, so I was sure they would figure it out between each other.

Meanwhile, my girlfriends split up; Judy joined her parents on the shore, while Elly practically dashed over to us and grabbed my hand.

"Come, let's play! The water is really nice!"

"Later, princess. We'll have all the time in the world to play around all week." I gestured towards the pile of luggage in the shade of a nearby tree, and then the freshly constructed beach bungalows. "We should pick our rooms and unpack first."

"And when are we starting the training?" came the next odd question from a certain local protagonist, followed by a soft "Ooof!" when his girlfriend hit him on the back of the head.

"Boo! You see all of this in front of you, and you're only thinking about training again!"

"But… that's the reason we came here. I think. At least part of it." The longer he went on, the more uncertain he sounded, and he turned a pair of questioning eyes at me. "Right?"

"Yeah, we'll get to that too. Again, let's unpack and unwind first, and then we'll get our schedules in order."

"One question!" Angie interrupted me with a hand raised over her head. "We're free to fly around while we're here, right? Nobody will mind, right?"

I levelled a flat stare at the hopeful Celestial, and couldn't decide whether I should laugh or cry.

"Don't be silly. You're Deus reborn. Who do you think would stop you?"

"I-I know, and…" She hissed and glanced at the sky. "Yes, Grandpa, I know, but it's important to ask! Leo knows what's going on here much better than we do, and…" She blinked a few times and shook her head before looking at me again. "Okay, so for the record, we can fly around all we want. Gotcha."

"Did someone mention flying?" Emese chimed in, seemingly listening to the conversation from a distance and coming over as soon as she heard the word. "It's so difficult to find opportunities to fly in peace back home, especially nowadays when everyone has cameras in their phones. Does it mean we can do it in the open here?"

"You hear that, Snowy?" Penny poked my other sister, but she seemed less than enthusiastic.

"I… I think I refrain. I don't want to scare anyone."

"Don't be self-conscious, sis," I told her with a smile I wanted to be reassuring, but in retrospect might've been just a bit aggressive. "The only thing anyone in Elysium should be scared of is me catching them giving you a sideways look. If you want to join the others, feel free to do so."

"I'll… think about it."

By this point, Judy and her family also wandered over to our side, so I said, "All right! Since we're all gathered here, let's…" I stopped and furrowed my brows. "Actually, we're not all here yet. Where's…?"

I wanted to ask 'Where's the class rep and company?', but then we were all startled by a combination of a panicked yelp and a manic laughter coming from our left.

"Aaah! Put me down!"

"Yahahaha! Here we go!" Sahi cackled, holding the class rep in her huge floaty magic hands and dashing towards the sea. Not just that, but she was already in her swim-suit. Was she wearing it under her colourful getup from earlier all this time?

"Sahi, stop this at once!" Barnabas called after her, but he was a bit too vigilant due to being in Celestial territory, so he only speed-walked after them and didn't cast any spells.

"Mike! Leo! Pascal! Somebody, help!" the class rep yelled and flailed in the air, but couldn't do anything to get out of Sahi's grasp. The two of them were followed by a panicked Michael, while armband guy was… already in his swimming trunks and giving a 'Well, here we go again…' kind of look as he morosely walked towards the water.

Unable to figure out whether I should intervene or not, my attention was soon drawn back to the princess, who was still tugging at my hand.

"Come on, Leo! Look, they're already having fun!"

She really wanted to take a dip, didn't she? Meanwhile, the brown ex-arch-mage and the startled class rep both hit the water, with very different levels of enthusiasm, and…

"You know what? Change of plans." I flashed a grin at my draconic girlfriend, much to her mounting excitement. "Let's go for a swim first."

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. I had no idea if that applied to beaches as well, but since we were already here, we might as well follow the principle, am I right?

PART 2

"You were a boy all along?"

My entirely reasonable and good-natured question made the girls… pardon, one girl and one boy cover in front of me.

"Brother! Don't be a bully!" Penny came to their defence, misunderstanding my shock for disapproval.

The four of us were standing not far from the bungalows, just outside the makeshift changing rooms set up by a group of busybody Celestials. It was a small building attached to a larger one, housing a plethora of swimsuits and other summer wear that Tsephanyah prepared in advance, being the biggest busybody of all.

Not all of us needed them; Judy, Elly, and the Magi knew that we were coming to the beach, so they prepared accordingly. So did Josh and Angie, and since they got my approval, the two of them were already horsing around in the shallows. I could see them from where I was standing, and while the guy didn't seem to have his whole heart in it, he was doing his best to accommodate the hyper girl and her whims.

I was getting sidetracked, wasn't I? Back to the four of us by the changing rooms… or rather, five, since Snowy also arrived. She was wearing a rather modest one-piece swimsuit with some frills, while Penny opted for a halter top and boyshorts. Of course, both of them were white. Everything was white, which shouldn't have surprised me at all. The same was true for the wardrobe they prepared for me when I first came to the Elysium.

"Ah! That's so cute!" my knightly sister exclaimed the moment she noticed Snowy coming out, and she awkwardly shuffled her feet on the white sand.

"T-Thanks…"

Penny beamed at her for a while, but then her expression froze and she turned back to me.

"W-Wait, we were in the middle of something!" She pointed an accusative finger at me. "You can't say something like that! It's hurtful!"

My other sister blinked in surprise.

"Something like what?"

Seeing that Snowy was out of the loop, Penny turned to her again.

"Brother didn't realize that Pais is a boy!"

"I-I don't mind!" the kid on the left said, his long hair tied in a low ponytail and wearing a baggy swimming trunk. "I-If the Second True Archon says so, then I'll be a girl!"

"Hush, that's not the point," I told him, and he shrank back.

Seriously though, who could blame me for making that mistake? Besides Penny, I mean?

Previously they were both wearing the same unisex mini-togas, they both had long hair reaching down to the small of their backs, and even now that I knew that he was a boy, he still looked like a girl at first glance. In fact, despite not being related, the two of them looked suspiciously similar, kind of like copy-pasted background extras. Which they kind of were until recently, now that I thought about it.

"He's a boy?" Snowy blurted out in surprise, and after a long beat, Penny's shoulders drooped in defeat.

"Not you too…"

"Vindication!" I exclaimed with a grin, startling the kids, so I quickly toned it back and crouched down to their eye level again. "Sorry about that. Listen, Pais…"

It only just dawned on me that I never caught the other kid's name, and she hastily bowed to me. She was wearing a one-piece swimsuit that was even frillier than Snowy's, and Penny tied her hair into pigtails. If nothing else, that made telling them apart significantly easier, so I approved of the effort.

"K-Kóre, O Lord Archon!"

"Pais and Kóre," I repeated, and the two of them timidly nodded. "How about we put this whole misunderstanding behind us for good? Go, and play."

"A-As the Second True Archon commands!" the boy declared with gusto, and while I could've pointed out it wasn't a command, I didn't want to get bogged down in that right now.

Especially since Penny already grabbed their hands and was pulling them towards the shore.

"Let's go! Come on Snowy, don't lag behind!"

"C-Coming!" my Abyssal sister sputtered and ran after them, though not before flashing a smile at me. Was there some meaning behind that, I wondered, but since I couldn't figure it out right away, I just chalked it up to her being giddy about the prospect of swimming in the sea.

Since they left me alone, I used the opportunity to reflect on the situation a little. While the meddling of the ex-directors had caused a small hiccup in the plans, things were more or less proceeding in the right direction. First, I'd let everyone settle down and relax, and then we'd start working on the usual beach episode tropes. Some of those would require some legwork, but it shouldn't be too much of a pain in the neck. Probably.

"Let's hope I can find some out-of-season watermelons…" I whispered as I belatedly followed after my sisters and the kids.

The four of them were already on the edge of the water, with Snowy lagging behind a bit. She was cautiously dipping her toes in the water like a cat, at least until Penny waded over and pulled her over into waist-deep waters. They were cute like little sisters ought to be.

A bit further down the shore, there was a small commotion. Half a dozen Celestials were running up and down the beach, busy putting together a row of sunbeds with giant parasols hanging over them, plus other related beach paraphernalia, following Arnwald's instructions. They weren't servants, at least not in the sense of the people working in the Dracis mansion, but volunteers who chose to come here and provide help out of their sense of duty and pseudo-religious fervour. Or so I've been told, at any rate.

Even further ahead, a strange scene was unfolding.

"Come on, Paz! Let's go scuba diving!"

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"We do not have the necessary equipment," armband guy pointed out the obvious, but the brown girl only scoffed at him.

"Like, don't be lame! We're Magi! That totally isn't a problem for us!"

"But if we do not use scuba tanks, is it truly scuba diving?" he asked morosely, and that finally put a damper on Sahi's enthusiasm.

"That's, like, a totally valid point. But where do we get scuba gear here?"

"I think we should ask the Celestial with the earpiece."

"Uuu… But he's talking with old man Barnie," Sahi whined, and following her line of sight, I saw that Lord Barnabas and Mensah were indeed engrossed in a discussion under the shade of a tree a fair distance away from the shore. "If we go there, we're totally getting scolded again."

"For a good reason." When she glared at him, he doubled down with, "You threw Amelia into the sea."

"Like, on whose side are you, Paz? Are you really going to take Barnie's side instead of your cute underclassman's?"

"… I repeat: You threw Amelia. Into the sea."

"Oh, come on! We were just having a cow!" Seeing that he wasn't budging, she soon gave up, but only to suddenly throw her fist into the air and exclaim. "Whatever! We have, like, a whole week to do it! Let's make a sandcastle first! I always wanted to make a big one!"

Looking unmotivated, yet somehow also very attentive, Pascal accompanied her to the edge of the water, and she soon brought out her magic hands and began piling up sand like a magical excavator. Just how big of a sandcastle she was planning to make, I wondered. Not for long though, because my attention was drawn to the pair strolling merrily a bit further down the shore.

I was too far away to hear them, but Ammy and Mike seemed to be having a great time. She changed into a sundress after getting soaked, but kept the same straw hat. The guy, on the other hand, was in a garish Hawaiian shirt and shorts, with a pair of large sunglasses sitting on his nose. He was like the embodiment of the stereotypical tourist.

They looked like they were having fun, so I didn't interrupt them, and instead headed towards the row of beach houses, where I saw Judy and her parents idling around while staring at the sky. When I approached them, Judy's mom flashed a warm smile at me and exclaimed, "Ah, Sunshine? Your hubby is here."

My girlfriend blinked in surprise, and realizing that I was standing almost right next to her, she automatically sidled closer and grabbed hold of my arm. She was originally planning to wear a very 'adult' sling bikini, but when we pointed out that there were children here, she changed into a considerably more modest swimsuit. I had a feeling it wasn't the last time I'd see the first one though.

"What are you looking at?" I asked absently, and she pointed at the sky in lieu of answering.

"You know, Leonard…" Clarke spoke in a distant, almost detached tone of voice, drawing my attention back to him. He was also looking up, and after a short pause, he finally faced me with an almost Buddha-like countenance. "… hearing about all of these…"

"Fairy-tale people," his wife chimed in, and he nodded.

"Yes, these supra-natural things, was one thing, but seeing them with my own two eyes…" He glanced up again, and let out a heavy sigh. "I liked it better when I thought you were only involved in plain old organized crime."

"Hey, I told you it was more complicated."

"No, you told me it was politics, not…" Looking for words, he ultimately pointed up. "That. Not that."

Raising my gaze to the sky again, I finally recognized what they were looking at. High up in the air, three distant shapes were flying circles over the beach. Out in the 'normal' word, I would've pegged them as large birds. In here, I would've first presumed they were Celestials. Both of those answers were wrong.

"Emese and Abram are teaching Elly how to fly at high altitude," Judy revealed the identities of the three fliers, and quite casually at that.

"Normally people come to the beach to learn how to swim, not how to fly," Clarke grumbled, but his words had no bite, and if anything, he almost sounded like he was in awe of the trio in the sky.

Now that I thought about it, I couldn't recall Elly using her dragon wings to fly until now. At most, I've only seen her use them to break her fall during the battle with Fred's robots, back in the sentai-shenanigans days. More surprising was the fact that Abram could take to the sky, considering how heavy he was. In a good-ish sense of the word, of course.

That said, seeing them like that put a different idea in my head: could I also fly now? I've used Narrative fiat to force my Celestial wings to manifest, because I was technically Polemos, and Polemos was supposed to have wings, but I never used them to actually fly. Heck, I never even tried it before, so I wasn't even sure I could. I mean, so far I only used said wings for the sake of dramatics, so I didn't know if they were functional, or just the magical equivalent of a peacock's tail.

Maybe I should ask for some flying lessons from my in-laws? Or wait… I was pretty sure the flight mechanics of Draconians and Celestials were different, so asking the childhood friend couple might've been the better idea. It couldn't be that hard to figure out; Josh learned how to fly in a matter of days, after all.

…

But then again, he was the protagonist, so maybe he wasn't the best yardstick. He could've been supported by some plot armour and whatnot. I'd have to look into that later.

Speaking of them, the childhood friends were out of the water and coming over to our side. Angie had a spring in her steps, going as far as to hum a jaunty little tune that may or may not have been a commercial jingle, while Josh… looked slightly less enthused. Or maybe 'tense' would've been the better word?

"Leo! Judy!" the Celestial girl called out to us as soon as they got close enough and waved a hand over her head. "Guess what we found?"

Seeing how happy she was, I figured it wasn't just a seashell.

"Something cute?" I ventured a guess, and she flashed a toothy grin.

"A turtle! We found the guy loafing around, and he's biiig! And funny!"

"Turtles are funny?" Judy asked, and Angie looked at her like it was a preposterous question.

"Of course they are! This guy was just completely ignoring us and shuffled around in the sand, and when I stepped in front of it, it raised its head, and it was like…" She used her fingers to stretch her mouth and eyes and mumbled. "'Wot, mate? Are you picking a fight, ya muppet?' It was hilarious!"

"I'm pretty sure it was just looking for the best way to go around your feet. And why did you give it a British accent, anyway?"

"Boo!" Angie stuck out her tongue at her boyfriend, and it was only then that she noticed that Judy's mom and dad were still starting at the sky. Following their example, she soon exclaimed, "Wow, that looks fun!"

Without further ado, she summoned her wings and floated off the sand, much to Clarke's surprise. The rest of us took it in stride.

"Come on, slowpoke! Let's see who can catch up with them first! It's a race!"

"I'll follow after you in a second. I have something to ask Leo first."

"Don't take long!"

And with that, like an arrow loosened from a bow, the Celestial girl took to the skies in a straight line.

"No, I'm still not used to this…" Judy's dad grumbled, and his wife patted his back with a slightly perplexed smile of her own.

In the meantime, I raised a brow at the guy. He not only looked unusually fidgety, but the moment Angie was out of earshot, he slouched like a weight was taken off his shoulders and he no longer needed to maintain an outer veneer.

"What's on your mind, pal?"

"It's just…" He started, then faltered, and looked across our group scattered all over the beach before his eyes returned to me. "Are we seriously here just to play around?"

"Is there a problem with that?" I asked back, and his countenance shifted again, this time appearing guarded.

"No… or… maybe a little?" He forcefully shook his head and looked me in the eye. "I mean, I thought we're here to train, you know? It feels like I've spent the last couple of days hyping myself up, and then we just… I mean… I dunno man, maybe the problem's with me, but I thought there would be something more. You know? Like some high-tech training ground, or a tricky obstacle course, or maybe some hidden mystical monastery in the mountains where we learn how to harness our inner power or something."

"Are you really that hellbent on starting the training arc right away?"

While my choice of words gave him a pause, he soon nodded. Despite my previous efforts to assuage some of his misgivings, it seemed like Josh's anxiety, building up ever since the assassination attempt on Angie, wasn't that easy to dislodge.

I glanced at Judy, and she responded by untwining our arms with an unspoken 'Go, do your thing, don't mind me'. I flashed an appreciative smile at her and faced Josh again.

"Fine. I'll take you to the training grounds, but first…" I pointed up. "Go and play with your girlfriend a bit more, would you? And relax while you're at it. Have a work/life balance."

"That's rich, coming from you," he griped.

"He has a point," Judy noted on the side, and her comment hit me considerably harder.

"Hey! No heckling during vacation!" A beat later, I literally kicked Josh in the ass to get him moving. "Shoo, you! Go and catch up with her!"

"I'm going, I'm going! Geez!"

At last, he also took to the air and soon became yet another dot in the sky. In the meantime, I rubbed my face and looked at the horizon. The original schedule I planned for our spring break was getting more and more distorted with every passing hour, but this much was manageable. I was anything if not adaptable, and so long as it wasn't an emerg—

"Ack!"

"What?" Judy blurted out in surprise, so I waved to show that everything was fine.

"It's nothing. I just almost jinxed myself again."

"You really need to stop doing that."

"Working on it."

With those words, I bid my farewells to the Sennoma family, off to prepare the stage for the parallel training arc.

PART 3

"Now we're talking!" Josh exclaimed with a lopsided grin when the training grounds came into view.

We arrived on foot because I still hadn't figured out that whole 'flying' business. The site wasn't that far from the beach, on purpose, so it only took us a little over fifteen minutes to get there. He had probably seen it up from the air while playing tag with Angie in the sky, but without context, it was hard to tell the purpose of this place.

Looking over the site, I smirked with mild satisfaction. Everything was more or less up to my specifications at a glance, though the proof was in the pudding, as always.

On a flat field a good distance away from both the shore and the nearest farm, surrounded by plain meadows, sat a large, circular arena paved over with large slabs of white stone. The perimeter of the tiled area, about forty meters in diameter, had a dozen or so tall structures evenly spaced out around its circumference. They were slightly curved towards the center, like huge white claws jutting out of the ground, and each of them had a large blue orb embedded in them about halfway up the outer curve.

Not too far from the arena, there were a bunch of small, domed buildings, and then the entire complex was surrounded by a tall metal fence. Only one road leading in and out, and the single gate was under guard by the usual hoplite-gear wearing Celestials. I had no idea what the point of that was. Not the guards, but the fence itself; everyone here could fly, so who was it going to keep out? Maybe it was for the wildlife?

Even as I was musing over the logistics of that, we neared the gates, and the guards hastily opened it for us, followed by a whole bunch of saluting and kneeling.

"The Second True Archon and the Justicar have arrived!" a crier announced in the back, which was getting a bit too over the top, so I waved at them to tone it down.

Meanwhile, Josh inspected the place and let out a soft hum.

"You seriously made them build this whole place here just for us? Isn't that a waste?"

"Nah, these things are portable," I responded while pointing a thumb at the nearest pylon. "Or so I've been told."

"Speaking of which, what do those things even do?"

"A big-ass barrier." He raised a brow at that, so I added, "You'll see. One thing at a time."

While I wasn't exactly familiar with this place, I knew the basic layout and led my friend to one of the smaller domed buildings, where someone was already waiting for us.

"Sir, Lord Archon, sir!" armour guy yelled and followed it with an enthusiastic salute. Josh awkwardly returned the gesture, while I just nodded in acknowledgement.

"Is everything ready?"

"Sir, yes, sir!" he bellowed, earning him a derisive sigh.

"Keep the volume down, and lead the way."

This time he only nodded and the three of us entered the building. You would think that after living in Elysium for a while, Josh would've been used to the sights, but he was still subtly gawking at the architecture all the same. I let him, and armour guy soon took us to a small room filled with the hazy glow of mana, or magic, or what have you.

More importantly, it was also filled to the brim with weapons.

"Holy crap!" Josh exclaimed, genuinely impressed by the sight.

All four walls were covered with weapon racks holding all kinds of armaments on them, from spears and swords to more exotic stuff, like morning stars and war scythes. As for the middle of the room, it had half a dozen metal tables arranged in a U-shape, with even more weapons, shields, and other related items piled on them.

"Wow! This is like a museum exhibit!" Josh continued to marvel at the collection on display, but only from the doorway, so I gestured for him to get going.

"Go ahead and look around. Try to find something that suits you, or at least piques your interest."

"Wait… These are here for me pick a weapon?" I nodded, and my friend looked even more confounded. "But all of these look old. I mean, I'm not saying they are bad or anything, but they're kinda like… relics, or something? Is it okay for me to touch them?"

"Sir, these are some of the most hallowed weapons of Elysium, wielded by the Archons and heroes of old and awaiting a worthy heir, sir!"

"What this guy's trying to say," I interjected, gesturing at the armour-clad man still standing by the doorway, "Is that all of these were held in storage until now because nobody dared to touch them, so feel free to pick any one of them. They'll do more good that way."

"Oh, okay…" Josh mumbled and started wandering in the room, closely followed by our gazes. Armour guy remained professional, but I would've been lying if I said I wasn't at least a little bit excited about what Josh would pick.

Setting up this situation took some time and I had to pull a couple of strings to make it happen on short notice, but there was a good reason for it. First off, Josh was seriously lacking in a defining characteristic in combat, which was a problem for a battle harem protagonist.

Now, one could argue that this scenario's genre has undergone so many twists and turns that it didn't matter anymore, but I preferred to be orthodox in this regard. There was a good chance that our planned finale would include lots of fighting, and since Josh and Angie would be playing a pivotal role in it, they both needed to be able to fulfil their roles. The Celestial girl unironically had it better, since her archery was established really early on, and her Deus-ness only overcharged that with even more devastating magic arrows and some actual spells.

Josh, on the other hand, was always in an ambiguous place because of his unique ability. He had good instincts, and he was a bit of a combat prodigy, but he had no specialization. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but he was also the protagonist, and a protagonist without something eye-catching wasn't good for the optics. It could be anything; a unique weapon, a fancy technique only they would use, or if all else failed, a beam attack.

The special technique was something we may or may not be able to do something about at this stage, while beam attacks were a bit dime-a-dozen at this point, so for now, I decided to go for the first option. Hence the scene unfolding in front of me, where Josh just picked up an oversized scythe, and after swinging it a few times, put it back on the rack and moved on.

This situation was a trope in and of itself. While it was best if the protagonist's weaponry had some kind of meaning, or something wholly unique to them, I didn't have the time or energy to set up something like that. Not to mention, I kind of already cornered that market due to the Cal and Teeny, so I opted for the next best trope.

Okay, so stop me if you've already heard this one: The protagonist of some flavour of action series lacks a weapon, so they get the opportunity to choose one. Maybe it's in a big weapons shop, or from an armoury of a big organization, or maybe even the secret stash of some long-deceased magical martial artist expert.

They look at all the super-fancy stuff, but then for some reason, they end up choosing some unassuming or seemingly impractical weapon. Maybe it's a sword covered in rust among all the epic blades, or a seemingly simple spear carelessly discarded in the corner, or even one of those unwieldy buster swords that nobody would choose because of their weight. Yet, he picks them up, much to everyone's confusion and/or dismay, because the protagonist's gut tells them it's the right choice.

"Huh? What's this?"

Like clockwork, Josh muttered in confusion tinged with just a hint of curiosity. In his hands he held a short sword in a plain faded leather scabbard, some of its gilding already flaking off from the metal clasps. He gingerly wrapped his fingers around the hilt and pulled it out with a scraping sound, revealing a black blade with an odd, jagged grey pattern on its flat. The sword itself had an elongated leaf shape, slightly narrower in the middle and then flaring out before coming to a sharp stabbing point, and while its edges hadn't seen a whetstone in ages and looked just a bit dull, there were no nicks or other visible damage on them.

"Sir, that sword is one of the few items in the armory without a clear history, sir!" Armour Guy provided the necessary exposition, sounding as humourless as always. "It most likely belonged to a forgotten retainer of the Archons of old, sir!"

"Really?" Josh mused as he traced the edge of the blade with his finger, only to pull it away with a hiss. "Ow. It's still sharp."

Oh! Attaboy!

If I didn't have to worry about my image, I would've given two thumbs up to the guy's performance, right then and there! This kind of stereotypical development was exactly what I was expecting from him!

In the meantime, he swung the blade a few times and then sheathed it again with a thoughtful look in his eyes.

"I think I'll take this."

"Sir, are you sure, sir? You still haven't looked at the weapons on this side, sir."

"Nah, this sword's good, I think. I just…" He was hard-pressed to find the right words, ultimately settling on a shrug and an ambivalent, "Call it a gut feeling."

Ah! He said it! In the end, I couldn't stop myself from flashing a double thumbs up, but only for a moment before I raised a hand in front of my mouth and cleared my throat.

"It's fine. Is there anything else that caught your eye?"

"Erm… Since I've been practicing with shields as of late, I guess I should pick something like… this?" True to his words, he picked up a small, round brass shield from the nearby table. It didn't look anything special, and even had a few marks on its rim, but once he hefted it a few times, a hint of bewilderment spread on his face. "Huh? Weird. It's somehow lighter than the one I've been using before, but… also feels sturdier? Does that make any sense?"

Well, duh. This was an ancient piece of gear. It was pretty much an unwritten law of storytelling that ancient mystical stuff was always better than modern magical doohickies, so of course the Simulacrum would follow it. Did it make sense? No, but it was a convention, so it wasn't surprising at all. At least to me.

"All right, bring them over," I told him and quickly inspected Josh's picks.

The shield had a sensible set of enchantments. Good, robust stuff; nothing much to add there. As for the sword.

"Oh? Now that's curious…" I uttered the moment I put my hand on the hilt.

"What? Is there a problem?" Josh asked in mild alarm, but I shook my head.

"Nah, it's fine."

Even without poking it with my phantom limbs, I could tell that this thing was more than met the eye. The way its enchantment tried to immediately connect to me was very similar to how Teeny operated, and a cursory inspection told me it was suffused with immensely complex arrays. While it didn't have a personality like my swords, I seriously wouldn't have been surprised if it did, and as for the enchantment itself, a slightly deeper dive made me want to give another double thumbs up to the guy.

"I shouldn't have expected any less from you," I told him mysteriously and handed the sword back to him, much to his annoyance. "Take good care of it."

"Oookay. I guess that means it's a good sword."

I was tempted to spoil him, but I forced the urge down and smiled mysteriously instead.

"Every weapon's as good as the one wielding them." That sagely bit of wisdom made my friend roll his eyes, so I followed it up with a chuckle. "All right. Let's head out and try out your new toys… but first, I have a gift for you."

"Gift," he repeated after me, sounding skeptical, and showed off his spoils. "Then what do you call these?"

"Those are your official equipment," I responded glibly. "You're Deus's Justicar, so you could probably have this whole armoury for yourself and nobody would bat an eye."

"Sir, with all due respect, sir," armour guy interjected, sounding mildly alarmed all of a sudden. "That would put many dedicated archivists and reliquaries out of jobs."

"I'm not planning to do that!" Josh's fervent denial made the big guy relax a bit. After that, he turned to me with a gaze no less skeptical than before. "Okay, so what is this 'gift' you're talking about?"

Without further ado, I reached into my pocket at handed him a bulky sports watch.

"Your updated Magiformer two-point-zero, with some extra quirks."

He eyed it for a moment, but then gingerly accepted it. Seeing that I was expecting him to put it on right away, he handed his sword and shield over to armour guy, and then took off his Magiformer. As soon as it came off, there was a bright magical flash, and he was suddenly in his half-Deus garbs. To this day, we still couldn't figure out how to suppress their permanent transformations, so both he and Angie had to wear these all the time. Luckily, unlike the Uniformers and my Leoformer, which relied on the Oath receptacles for energy, the OG Magiformers were designed to draw on the user's natural mana, so wearing them for long periods of time wasn't nearly as exhausting.

In the meantime, he strapped the new Magiformer onto his wrist, and after a long beat and another flash, he was back in his school uniform.

"Huh. This doesn't feel that different."

"It's mostly the same, just with some streamlining. I managed to cram in a few more outfits, so you can give them a look later, but most importantly, I added a separate storage enchantment to the base structure." I took the sword and shield from armour guy and handed them back to him. "You can access it the same way as the outfit switcher."

"Really?" He closed his eyes for a second, and after making a few strained noises, his equipment vanished from his hands. "Wow!" After a few more groans, they returned and he swung the sheathed sword a few times before making it disappear again. "This is handy. Can I put anything else in there?"

"Maybe a few small items, but nothing big. Enchanted stuff already takes up a lot of virtual space."

"Got it."

In the meantime, he made his shield disappear and reappear a few more times with a goofy grin on his face, like a kid who was having fun with a brand-new toy. Which… wasn't that off the mark, really. After a while, he finally realized that he was holding us up, and stored his equipment for the time being.

"Thanks, pal." That was followed by a frown and him drawing the corner of his mouth to the side. "But now I feel like I should reciprocate the gift somehow."

"Stop worrying about useless things, and come along."

With those words, we exited the makeshift armoury and returned to the training field. At the moment, Josh was both pensive and yet subtly excited, with the balance slowly turning towards the latter the closer we got to the middle of the field.

"Sooo…" he finally addressed me and jerked his head towards armour guy. "I guess he's here to help me train?"

"He's our shield expert," I responded curtly, and the big guy stood a bit taller in response.

"Sir, I'm flattered, sir!"

Trying not to smirk at him, I pointed at the pylons at the perimeter of the arena, and he nodded at once. Turning around to face the closest one, armour guy broke into a sonorous song reminiscent of a Gregorian chant. Maybe because of all the faux-Greek and faux-Latin words he was using?

The structures surrounding us came to life, and the air began to distort with a low hum. Before long, the entire arena was enclosed in a transparent dome, like an enormous bubble. The scenery outside became blurred, and the outlines of the pylons shimmered with the colours of the rainbow, as if the whole world was run through a strong chromatic aberration filter.

"Sir, the field is set up, sir!" he declared, and I gave him a satisfied nod in return.

"Good man." I addressed Josh next. "For now, listen to what he says, and practice using a sword and shield. Once you're done, we'll do a few sparring matches to help you find your sea legs, and once you've got your fundamentals down pat, we'll start working on the specifics."

"Sounds good," my friend declared with a grin and turned to armour guy. "I'll be in your care."

"Sir, yes, sir!" he responded enthusiastically and, with a crackling sound, the bracers on his arms unfolded into a familiar pair of sword and shield made of bluish force fields stretched between flimsy-looking metal scaffolds.

Seeing that they were eager to get started, I retreated to the edge and absentmindedly watched their training, considering the next steps. For a start, I had to decide whether we should add some kind of diegetic music here. The kind of thing that's shown during training montages.

I had no idea whether that would have any positive effects, but it was worth a shot, and it wouldn't really cost me anything. Besides the portable speakers, I mean. In the best-case scenario, it could maybe trick the Simulacrum into thinking that a lot of progress was being made, and it would reflect in Josh's training.

In any case, the step afterwards was more straightforward: I had to make sure that, by the time we were ready to head home, Josh had a clear identity; specifically as far as personal combat was concerned. I still wasn't one hundred percent sure what that identity would be, but it was out of necessity. I didn't want to be too heavy-handed, as the protagonist discovering their own talent and special moves/attacks was a pivotal part of a training arc. With some luck, he might even unlock a super-mode or something, and then we'll be in the clear.

For the moment though, I could only watch over armour guy drill the basics into him and polish his technique with a shield, which… wasn't all that exciting. They weren't sparring, just doing rote exercises, stances, and basic manoeuvres. Because of that, I couldn't help but let my attention wander, and due to habit, I soon found myself automatically slipping into Far Sight. The very first target I was drawn to already made me raise my brow in apprehension.

Since Savir was the most volatile element present at the scene, I automatically honed in on her, and to my mild bamboozlement, I found her skulking around the public toilets set up at the edge of our private beach. As in, literally hiding behind a corner and peeking at the small building from a distance like some inept spy from a movie.

What was she up to? And why was she doing it by herself? If she wanted to observe someone or something, didn't she have people for that? I mean, I demoted her, and she had no official authority, but I doubted she didn't have a few patsies she could call upon for something like this.

Then, as if to answer my question, Judy came out of the restroom and Savir hurriedly walked towards her, pretending that she was just passing by.

"Oh, what an unexpected coincidence," she called out to my dear assistant as soon as she was in earshot, and Judy turned to her with her usual deadpan expression dialled up to eleven.

"Can I help you?"

"Maybe," the ex-director responded slyly, her mouth set in a clearly fake smile. "I've been meaning to talk with you in private."

"So have I," Judy responded without missing a beat. She wasn't intimidated by Savir in the slightest, and if anything, she looked… gleeful? Like she just caught a big fish with a bait.

…

Okay, this was either going to be infuriating, or hilarious. Let's keep watching and find out, shall we?

PART 4

Judy and Eris. That was a combination I didn't expect (or frankly, want) to see, but since the milk's already spilt, I figured I might as well observe where it flows first, ready to jump in to mop everything up in case things start to get messy.

Fanciful analogies aside, I made myself comfortable and focused my full attention on the two of them. Walking silently side by side, they made their way over to a slightly less visible spot, probably because they (or at the very least my dear assistant) must've realized that having an argument in front of the restrooms sounded too much like a scene from a high school drama.

They stopped under the shade of one of the many trees at the edge of the beach (maybe a poplar; I wasn't good with my trees, but they kind of looked poplar-ish) and faced each other with the kind of intensity straight out of a wild west showdown at noon. It didn't last long, because Savir's lips soon bent into a self-assured smirk and she adopted a carefree, almost snooty posture.

"Judy Sennoma," she started. She spoke slowly, enunciating every syllable as if tasting them, her countenance reminding me of a cat that just found a new toy.

Judy, on the other hand, was as deadpan as usual and responded with a flat, "Yes, I'm aware of my own name."

"It would be strange if you weren't, but the same couldn't be said about everyone. Not until recently, that is." Savir's smile widened further, barely managing to maintain a veneer of amicability. "Eleanor Dracis. Amelia Rhearn. Neige Liliam Inanna. Even the embodiment of Deus, Angeline Dionne, are pieces that were already present on our chessboard, even if we weren't quite aware of their significance ahead of time. But you…" She raised an intrigued brow at my dear assistant, "You are quite different, my dear."

"I'm not your dear, but please continue," she jabbed back, her poker face not even wavering. It only put Savir on the backfoot for a moment though, as she quickly reasserted herself.

"Before my recent, erm, promotion, I have naturally spent time and resources on investigating our dear Polemos's—"

"He's not your dear either, but once again, continue," Judy cut in, causing Savir's brows to twitch.

"Right. As I was saying, I scrutinised his background and everything surrounding him, and I stumbled upon a curious anomaly. That is, you." She paused for dramatic flair. "You're a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a…"

"Vest?"

"… What?"

"Never mind, go on," Judy shrugged, and… Ouch, Dormouse.

This is a woman who has a hard time telling her foot apart from her mouth. Did you seriously expect her to get that reference? I was astonished that she even got the original Churchill quote mostly right. That was already pretty impressive around these parts.

Getting visibly irritated, Savir huffed and crossed her arms.

"Judy Sennoma. Your father is a chief inspector of the capital region of the Critias Police. Your mother is a traditional housewife. No siblings, no cousins, no outstanding familial relations. No history of being involved, either directly or indirectly with the World of Mystics, whatsoever. And yet, without any prior indication, your name suddenly shows up closely associated with a certain Leonard Dunning. First known as the Chimera Slayer of Critias, then as the King of the Oathbreakers, and finally as none other than Polemos, the Second True Archon of Elysium."

"Yes, these are all things we're both aware of," Judy pointed out a tad impatiently. "Are you getting to the point? Because I have places to be."

"You…!" Eris barely managed to stop herself from grimacing, but somehow still forced a friendly smile onto her face. "I'm just outlining the general circumstances. For you see, it makes sense for everyone else to gather around Polemos. Even his more… questionable company, such as the Abyssal girl by his side, is coherent with the way such things are. Greatness always begets a following, and as such, it is perfectly sensible for him to attract people of great import around him. Polemos is like a great ocean stream, drawing in and gathering the mighty boats floating on the surface, inexorably carrying them forward with his grand flow. I can't help but wonder how a small paper boat like yourself ended up in such an illustrious fleet without being crushed by their wake so far. It's truly fascinating."

Savir concluded her spiel with an amused chuckle, while my girlfriend remained completely expressionless. No, if anything, she looked mildly annoyed, but she probably couldn't see that.

"So if I get this right, you called me over just to share the fancy analogy you came up with."

"Oh, not at all, it's but a…"

"Warning, yes, I've got it," Judy cut her short again, followed by a shallow sigh. "You're trying to circumspectly tell me that you have investigated my background, that I have no backing, and then use that fact to plant a seed of doubt in my head about my qualifications to stay by the Chief's side. Does it go any deeper than that? Is there an angle I'm not seeing?" Savir only blinked at her, apparently not used to having her schemes thrown back into her face that bluntly, and seeing her reaction, my lovely assistant rolled her eyes. "The Chief was right. You people really are both childish and rather ineffectual. I guess it makes sense; if you were actually more than a mild inconvenience, he wouldn't have allowed you to stay around in any remotely influential position."

I could practically hear Savir's friendly façade cracking under the strain, but she somehow managed to squeeze her words without sounding offended. That's a politician for you, I figured.

"Don't be so cynical. You're just overthinking my genuine words of advice. I'm simply remarking on the uniqueness of your situation, without any ill will."

"Oh, and now you're doing reverse psychology," Judy noted, thoroughly unimpressed. "But fine. Since you've come to 'warn' me, out of the kindness of your heart, I feel that as an upstanding citizen, it's important that I return the favor in kind."

"What do you mean by that?"

Judy didn't answer right away. Instead, she changed her posture, straightened her back, and looked the ex-director right in the eyes.

"Eris Savir," she started, both her face and her voice as deadpan as usual, yet also somehow heavy and unyielding at the same time. "Age forty-one, height 167cm, weight 55kg. Born in Migdál Haluourgos to Vasileos Savir and Erigone Agathon. You joined the Cult of Deus as a Rhasodes in the Chorus of Haluourgos at age fourteen and made connections within the Orthodoxy. By age twenty, you rose to the rank of Hiereia, and using your connections, you got closely involved with numerous Directors, a list that's too long to recite right now.

At age twenty-seven, due to a series of botched ploys, you nearly lost your position as a Hiereia, but thanks to pulling some strings and ongoing internal strife between the Orthodoxy and the Reformists, you were installed as the right-hand woman of the then-acting Matriarch of the Church of Deus as part of a compromise. When she retired, you took her position at the age of thirty-two, the youngest Matriarch in six hundred years, and using your political connections, you have remained in that position to this day.

Because the Chief let you.

You like to secretly listen to contemporary jazz, you favor cheap Italian sweet white wine over red ones but don't want others to know about this, you have a rabbit-shaped mole on your left butt cheek, you had a magical nose-job, the records of which you've tried to completely erase after the fact, and back at your parent's home in Migdál Haluourgos, you have a pet goldfish named Wanda. She's cute, and her aquarium is tended by an assigned specialist who feeds her and cleans the water regularly while you're away."

When finished, Judy paused and waited for the flabbergasted woman to gather her wits, but only so that she could interrupt her again the moment she tried to open her mouth.

"The Chief has a terribly soft heart. It's one of the reasons I love him so much, but the facts are the facts. This softness can sometimes make people think it's a weakness. It's not. He can simply afford to be soft because he's strong. Everything he built, it's so that he can absorb and shrug off the consequences without having to resort to more permanent and unpleasant methods. Unfortunately for you, I'm not strong. Therefore, I have to be hard." Judy leaned closer to the ex-director, and whispered, "Eris. I know everything about you. Every little ploy, every little back-alley deal, every little favor you did or took over the years. I know the name of the man you bribed to get your first job. I know the names of every one of your co-conspirators. I know whom you framed for your own benefit. I know whom you promoted out of nepotism. I know every corrupt, dirty little deed you've ever committed throughout your entire life."

"No, but… How are you…?"

"Eris," Judy spoke her name again, this time softly, as if speaking to a child. "Your assessment of me was surprisingly accurate. A paper boat cannot survive the waves out in the ocean, so I had to find my own way. And I did. I own your Celestial Intelligence Network now, and I hold its entire database in here." She paused to tap on her temple. "So, here's my warning to you, in return to yours: mistake me for a soft target, or try to approach my Chief ever again, and I will destroy you. I will drag you down, scatter all of your little secrets under the sun, and just watch as the vultures pick your bones clean before you'd even have a chance to recognize what just happened to you. Did I make myself clear?"

Savir, still shocked by the sudden shift in the tone of the conversation, opened and closed her mouth a few times like a fish out of water. Judy must've considered that good enough, as she stepped back, and the oppressive atmosphere around them disappeared like mist in the wind.

"Good. I'm glad we had this conversation. Now, if you excuse me, I have a prior appointment with a bowl of ice cream with my name on it. I wish you a nice day."

And with those words, my dear assistant turned on her heels, leaving the frozen ex-director staring at her back with a mixture of incomprehension, rage, and just a tiny little hint of abject horror. As for me, all I could say was…

"Wow…"

"Leo! Hey, Earth to Leo!"

On top of that, I just realized that a certain someone was calling out to me, so I returned to my body and turned to Josh. He was walking towards me while waving his shield, and let out a relieved noise when I finally looked his way.

"What?"

He let his arm down and scoffed at me.

"Finally! Why were you zoning out like that?" He suddenly shook his head. "Wait, never mind that. Listen, this sword is weird. When I try to use it with Celestial—"

"Hold on," I cut in with a palm raised. "Is it anything dangerous, detrimental, and/or otherwise interfering with your training?"

"… No, not really. It's just really weird that—"

"Sorry Josh, I really am, but as much as I would love to troubleshoot your problems with your new weapon, if it's not super-important, I'm afraid it has to wait. Now then, if you excuse me, I have to go and kiss my girlfriend. Keep training until I'm back, and then we'll sort things out afterwards."

"But…" Before he could finish, I already turned around and Phased away, with only the echoes of a grumbled "Weirdo," in my ears.

Didn't care. I was too busy being smitten all over again.