Have you ever felt like you were going to die? Have you ever felt that all your cuteness and beauty was going to go to waste? That’s how I felt then and there. My life was going to end then and there was not one little thing anyone in this tiny world could do about it. Ruth Graciela Umper: 1996-2012.

There’s just one problem if I die like this: my fingernails are going to chip. They are going to land hard cold on the rock and chip. And I just got them painted too! So, God wants to kill me off as soon as I get my nails done and I’m on my first date with my new boyfriend who is expecting me to have a nice date with me.

Okay, his dad made this meal for us and he makes the bestest meals ever! They are good, but sadly, I’m going to die and miss out on this wonderful meal. I was really looking forward to it too! What kind of God kills someone off during a date!? Not cool, God! I hate this; I don’t want to die!

“Ruuuuuuuuuuuth! I’ve got you!” Truman cried and we collided in the air. We freely fell toward the lake.

“Truman!” I cried as we continued falling. “I can’t swim!”

“What do you mean you can’t swim!?”

“I can’t!” I screamed. “My dermatologist said it makes the skin wrinkly! I can’t get my perfect skin wrinkly! I’m too cute! I’ll look like an old fart and...”

Cabwush!

I closed my eyes as we both are doused in water and are submerged into the lake’s clutches. I could already feel my make-up smearing. Down and down we went and I could feel my ears pop under the pressure. The further down we went, the slower we went the slower we went down until we finally stopped and began to rise to the surface. I could finally understand how in movies people could hold their breath for so long; they did it for survival. I could feel myself dying again, but this time my nails didn’t concern me, my eye shadow did.

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It was smearing!

Good grief!

Plus, my outfit is ruined! It cost me a lot of money too and…

My head popped up into the air and both inhaled excessively. “Ruth.” Truman gasped. “You okay?”

“Never ever again, I will never do anything for the success of One Direction ever again. Nev-” My monologue was interrupted by the best kiss I had ever had in my entire life. “What was that for?”

“Being alive,” He said and then locked our lips together again. Some people have a kissing corner, we have a kissing pool. After a couple of seconds he broke the kiss, looking horrified. “I just realized something. Where are we?”

I gasped as I looked around. It was nearly completely dark and I could see the glowing red eyes of bats as they hung against the dirt ceiling. I climbed out of the little pool and stood firmly on the ground soaking wet as Truman got out too.

“I can’t see anything,” He said. “Oh no, my contacts must have been lost in the pond. I’m blind without them! Ruth, help me! It’s your turn anyway.”

We started walking down the cave, as we went I noticed mine carts and torches. Then I screamed so loud my lungs popped; I saw a skeleton.

“What is it!?”

“Skeleton! Truman, I think we’re in a mine… the lost mine of Pish."

“Ooooooooooh man, we're doomed!”

“Well, then let's try to get out of here asap.”

We continued walking down the mine. Hours seemed to go by maybe even days but we kept walking. There was little conversation because there was not much to be said. Occasionally, we ran into bats and I ran away screaming. I thought of Hope, Felix, and Kristy and how worried they must be, surely they must be trying to find us. The air was so cold and hopeless, all positive feelings were sucked out of the room, but nevertheless we kept walking. We did not stop, we did not waver. All hope is gone now.

“Find me,” I whispered. “Find me. Please for the love of my dress, find me.”

Then at that very moment, I heard a loud bark. One that pierces the ears and alerts the mind. Hope’s mother had found us!

The dog ran right by me brushing right past me with its fur glowing in the dark. It looked at me, barked, and then kept on running.

"Hope you can run fast, because your sexy hips might just start to hurt.”

I started sprinting with my hand in his as we both ran, following that puppy. Turns and turns and turns we cut through and bats and bats we ran through, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was our escape. Our freedom. Finally, we found ourselves dashing out into the warm clean air free of any bats, mine carts, or skeletons.

I laughed and shook Truman, “We’re here! We’re here and I can get my make-up fixed!”

Then I collapsed.