Our night begins in Chicago, an alley not far from the sounds of police car sirens and distant gunshots. Here, there’s actually not much crime, the people just shoot to keep rent low and the police stopped responding, which makes it the perfect place for two legends to throw down.
Sonic was leaning next to an alley, eating a chili dog, when a really scared-looking Armenian fan approached him.
“OMG Sonic! SONIC! Sonic, won’t you please take off your shoes for me! I swear I just want to sn- I mean, we need to check to make sure you don’t have any foot fungus!”
Sonic laughed. “Heh, why do all my fans want to check me for foot fungus? Well, at least they care.”
As Sonic was about to let the dogs out, the superfan’s head just fucking exploded out of nowhere, rings flying out directly into Sonic. An overwhelming song filled the alley, like Sonic was watching a Sigma grindset edit.
Sonic the Hedgehog smirked, “Must’ve left quite the impression, but where’s that weird music coming from?”
The ground shook as a hulking figure emerged from that dingy Chicago alley. Gigachad. The one and only epitome of based stepped out and looked straight at Sonic, then pulled out a silenced Glock.
BANG BANG BANG
Gigachad lit Sonic’s ass up like a Christmas tree. The only thing left was a splatter of brown and red goop on the sidewalk.
“Based.” Gigachad said with a smile.
From down the street, some cringe-ass fucking normie opened his mouth real wide and screamed like a little pussy bitch like he was afraid of violence and murder or something. Gigachad shot that soyjak on the spot.
“Double based.” Gigachad said.
“Wow,” Sonic said, “you really suck at aiming. Have you thought about becoming a stormtrooper?”
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Gigachad turned to Sonic, who was casually standing there. Gigachad didn’t realize how bad he just fucked up. Just as Sonic was about to take another bite of his chili dog, he noticed the missing components. Neither chili nor dog were left. Only rage and a soggy bun.
Sonic pointed at Gigachad’s gun. “Don’t you know 9mm rounds are subsonic? You’ll need domsonic rounds to beat me!”
Gigachad’s confident face didn’t waver, though. He tossed the gun aside and flexed.
Sonic immediately charged up into a spin-dash and launched at Gigachad!
Gigachad reached out, holding his hands to stop Sonic, but he wasn’t quick enough!
Sonic bounced off of Gigachad one, two, three times, each blow knocking Gigachad’s health down a lot!
Gigachad jumped back, realizing Sonic was a greater foe than he expected. The sigma edit music blared louder. Gigachad’s muscles swelled and he grew to Giga-Gigachad form! Now with double the based, he could take down Sonic.
Sonic snickered. “What’s wrong? Not fast enough to-”
In a flash, Gigachad appeared in front of Sonic, throwing a punch stronger than any of Eggman’s bots ever have, but that’s not really a high bar, so it’s not a great comparison.
Sonic barely avoided Gigachad’s fist and dashed backward, jumping into the air. He dashed above Gigachad and slammed down, going for a kick onto Gigachad’s head.
Gigachad caught Sonic’s kick, unfazed, and smiled. The Sigma edit music grew even louder as Sonic spun right on Gigachad’s hands.
“Oh no!” Sonic thought, “I might have to go Super Sonic to beat this guy, but I don’t have any Chaos Emeralds!”
Gigachad punched upward, throwing Sonic off of him, but again, Sonic dodged his blow.
“Cringe,” Gigachad scowled at Sonic.
“Heh, so I’m too fast for you, and you’re too tough for me.” Sonic pointed. “I guess that means we’ll have to save this fight for later. Unless you think you can hold your strong form forever?”
Gigachad’s brow was sweating. He could only hold the Giga-Gigachad form as long as the Sigma edit music was blasting, but there was something strange going on.
The Sigma edit music was being overpowered by another rock score. A ballad that Gigachad had heard before, Sonic too. It was "Bury the Light."
“Pathetic.” The sound of glass shattering alerted them to a figure down the alley. He stood up from his lawn chair and started drawing his katana as the rock ballad took off into a powerful chorus.
Sonic and Gigachad shared a look. They knew they’d have to put their fight off now, if they could even beat this guy.
image [https://i.imgur.com/94FlThV.jpeg]