It had been six months since the incidence. It was amazing how time and distance could blur and soften a fear or enhance it and grow it beyond recognition. For Sophia, it was the former. Therapy was helping. She was learning some of the whys and hows of her reactions and impressions. She was sleeping, eating and feeling a sense of happiness she had not experienced in a very long time. As she drove Cleo to kindergarten that morning, they were both singing, “The Wheels on the Bus” at the top of their lungs. Life felt normal. She pulled into the drop off line. It was late winter. The first tiny buds were appearing on the trees. At the entrance, Elderly, Ms. Connors opened the car door and helped Cleo out of her car seat. With a smile and a blown kiss, Cleo skipped inside the red brick school.

Back at the apartment, after two hours of going over insurance contract wording, she put on her chucks and went for a walk. Soon, spring would burst. She loved Spring and its sense of new beginnings. Her mind wandered from topic to topic as she walked. Not once was she tempted to go to the water. She had learned that that particular feeling was an impulse, an impulse she did not have to follow. Mama had been very impulsive. What ever crossed her mind was interpreted right into her life. Sophia didn’t have to live that way. She was learning how to navigate life in a new and healthier way.

In the small park, several dog owners had dogs of various sizes on leashes. She wanted a dog, but Cleo was loud enough without adding barking and howling to apartment life living. In the distance she saw a woman dressed expensive gold leisure wear. There was something vaguely familiar about her. She turned toward Sophia. Sophia’s heart stopped. She let out a soft gasp. IT could not be. The woman wore rhinestone rimmed glasses. If she saw Sophia, Sophia couldn’t tell. Two instincts fought inside of Sophia, one was to run away and the other was to run to. She chose run to. If that woman was her mother, she had to know or she would be haunted by this moment for the rest of her life. Swiftly she spanned the distance. The woman had stopped. She seemed to be watching Sophia’s approach. When Sophia was standing in front of her, the woman removed her sunglasses and she smiled.

It was HER! With a smile, like they had just seen each other yesterday, her mother said, “I can’t believe you found me.”

A single word erupted from Sophia’s mouth. “What?” Found her, she hadn’t even been looking for her. The next thing Sophia knew her mother had thrown her arms around her. She still smelled the same, felt the same. Any minute now, Sophia was going to wake up and this was not going to be real, again.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Her mother let go of her and held her at arms length. Softly she said, “You have barely changed at all.

Dumbstruck, Sophia said nothing. Her mother had changed. She was sleek looking and her clothes were all name brand. This was not the whimsical stay home mom, Sophia had known. Her mother patted her cheek, and said, “I am so happy.” She hugged her again.

The next hour of Sophia’s life was completely surreal. Her mom lived in Corpus Christi and had for the past ten years. She was a sales consultant for an athletic clothing company. They would have to do lunch. During that entire hour, Sophia had spoken less than a hundred words. The woman, she used to call Mama, supplied the other ten thousand words. Finally, she rose from the park bench and said, “I must get going.” She gave Sophia another hug and quickly walked away.

It wasn’t until Sophia was back at the apartment that she realized, her mother had not asked her for her contact information. Sophia had been so overwhelmed, she hadn’t thought to ask for her mother’s. The truth was she didn’t want her contact information. This hadn’t been some happy reunion, it had been a painful realization of how thoroughly her mother had abandoned her.

She went into the bathroom and filled the sink with cold water. Several times she splashed her face in an attempt startle herself out of her current confusion. Had she really seen her mother after all these years? Was she really alive? It seemed so, but it just didn’t feel real. Nothing felt real. For several moment she studied herself in the mirror. Her eyes were wide with fear and he was pale. On her right shoulder there was beach sand. How had sand gotten on her shoulder? She dusted it off. The strong smell of salt water filled the tiny room. The next thing she knew a wave rose from the sink and picked her up. Higher and higher she went through the apartment above her and then through the roof. The next thing she knew she was over the Gulf. Like a bad carnival ride, she dropped, her stomach didn’t go with her. She hit the water hard. Pain shot through her entire body. A strong suction carried her down into the depths.

It was very dark. The water was cold, and yes as always she could breathe. There weren’t any lights here. She looked up. Far above her was the dull glow of the water’s surface. If this was real or an hallucination, she was determined to swim to the top. With all her strength she fought against the pull of the water.

Words from her grandpa came to her, “Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.”

That didn’t seem safe, but she was exhausting herself trying to maintain her place. No she would fight. Fight she did until she had spent all her strength. Against her will, she began to drift. The water carried her farther and farther away from the dim glow of the surface. Soon, it was all dark. She wondered, “Am I dying?”

At some point she lost consciousness. When she awoke, she saw lights in the distance and a familiar outline. Her mother’s voice called out to her, “Its okay my girl. There is nothing to be afraid of.”

Oh yes there was!