“And you haven’t talked to him since? No text, nothing in school, nothing?”

“Nope, just… nothing.”

“A whole week passed, and just… nothing?”

“Yeah…”

The whole week passed by like fast forwarding a movie. Every night, I’d go on patrol. The scales as black as night would burst through my neck and burn away Rose completely, until only Salamander remained. I’d patrol and nothing would happen. I did this every night until 3, and then I’d sleep.

Understandably because of that, I proceeded to miss my essay deadline. And that’s after an extension. The thought of picking up a pen was walled off by everything else in my life. An essay is Rose’s problem, I didn’t want to deal with that.

Which led to a breakdown.

“Rose, your essay?”

Ms Tnee asked with an optimistic smile on her face. On my face was likely an expression you don’t grace with description. The night prior it stormed as I slept, and the sound of thunder woke me up in a panic. My blanket twisted around me, cocooning me into my bed. When I opened my eyes, the scene of Pandan beach flickered before my eyes and then vanished into the recesses of my mind, before my room came back into view., weak moonlight illuminating snippets of my room. When thunder struck again, I jumped in bed, as if dropped from a short height back onto the bed. It took my body’s impact on the mattress before I realised I had my tail.

No, I did not sleep that night.

What’s worse? I didn’t have an essay ready. Not even something half-assed, not something where I tried my best: just nothing.

“I, uh…”

The smile never left, but was gently pressed down on its sides into one of sympathy. I wanted to just walk to my seat and crawl under it.

“Is everything okay, Rose? I know you were at the beach, if you need to talk about anything…”

“I-it’s nothing, something I want… I’m sorry. I, I’ll get it done. I-” I’,m not audible over the sound of my classmates chattering. Have they always been so loud?

“Hey, look. You’re going through a lot, right? I get it. You’re doing your best, I know you are. But-”

“I know! I know! I’m sorry! I- I’ll do better! I can-” My head burned. Sol’s screaming. Because I just walked into class, I’m still at the door, and I’m yelling at the unanimous favourite literature, possibly general, teacher of the school. Everyone’s watching. It’s worse than that. Everyone’s scared of what they’re watching. I look down at my hands, making sure it’s covered in skin and not scales.

“I-I’m sorry.” I whispered, and walked right back out. I skipped my first ever class.

“You should have talked to me earlier.” Carissa pouted, slowing down her walk and grabbing onto my hand. I sighed, knowing she was right. I didn’t speak to her about Zhen Rong or Salamander business all week, it freaked me out. So I took her out to Orchard Road, trying to relive even the tiniest bit of normalcy in life.

“I was… scared. To flip out at you.” Zhen Rong must have told her about my incident. After all, he was in the class when I did it. I dryly sputter out, sipping on the bubble tea sweet enough to wet my throat again. The grey clouds above my head seemed to infect the sky over Orchard Road as Carissa and I walked along the street. There’s a cool breeze blowing against us, messing up both our hairs. It’s banal.

“Whatever! Let’s just… try and forget about it. We can think about that later! Let’s have some fun. Just the two of us.” I mustered a smile, eternally grateful that I still have Carissa by my side. She held on tighter.

“Rosie, you started this conversation. Babe, I love you, but you gotta just tell me about stuff! Compared to how much we used to hang out, we basically don’t talk anymore… I… wanna be here for you.” My heart aches knowing how ever since Sol bonding with me, Carissa has had no satisfactory explanation as to why her best friend has become so elusive. We continue walking down the crowded street, pigeons flying off when we step towards them.

Orchard Road is insanely busy at every point of the year, locals and tourists come here to do one thing: capitalism. Carrie and I were not strangers to that past time. With thrift shops and cute cafes, it’s the New Singapura equivalent of Disneyland for people like us. Lots of Instagram worthy backdrops I’m guilty of taking pictures in front of, food and sweet treats that set back diets by months in an afternoon of indulgence. If we let our guard down, we’d splurge on ourselves by buying a meal over fifteen dollars.

It took a lot of effort and encouragement by Sol to even come out today. We needed a break from the patrols, explosions and rejections. If I didn’t get a day of tasting diabetes inducing bubble tea and sifting through clothes in second-hand stores with my best friend on the planet, I’d go crazy.

“I was so excited for the beach cleaning and all… thought we could spend time together, you’d even get to spend time with your crush and… a lot just went wrong. But, you- we shouldn't let it get to us! Right? We gotta… keep going. Like all the ads keep saying, 'New Singapura is strongest united', we need to protect one another!” The smile she gave me was so blinding and genuine. A pang of guilt struck knowing I’m actively putting her in harm’s way by being around her. What if Ashen- the terrorist struck again?

She gestured over to her purple heart necklace then pointed to mine.

“Remember when we got these?”

“Yeah, after primary school graduation.” After finishing primary school, the two of us found these necklaces in a mall. They came in a pair, and after begging our respective parents for some pocket money, we got em’. Hers shone a deep violet shimmer, as if she had just bought it, whereas mine had dulled from the years of ownership and time spent in my bags.

“Why’d we get them matching hmm?”

I couldn’t hold back a chuckle.

“So we’d always be together… okay, I got it…” I rubbed her head, feeling the texture of conditioned hair. A hint of strawberry scented shampoo whizzed past my nose. Carissa’s the type to believe in fairytales and find sentimentality in everything: it’s one of her greatest strengths. There was nothing more I wanted than to hold onto the heart like she does in this moment.

“No matter what you do, I’m there for you okay? It’s my job to be here for you all the time.”

“I’m sorry the benefits of the job aren’t all that great…”

“Rosie, you’re the best benefit of all time. I’m basically a union worker!”

The upbeat laughter shared amongst us never slowed down. We conversed about the mundane and the deep with equal severity. We didn’t walk as fast, but I didn’t mind. A moment of slowness in a life of fast was much appreciated.

“Ehehe, let’s go to Lucky Plaza, I wanna check out-” The hairs on my body unexpectedly stand up before Carrie can finish her sentence. I’m in a short sleeve shirt and skirt, yet heat devastated my body, juxtaposing the chills being sent down my spine. My five senses are going wild, I swear I could feel the tactile sensations of molecules making up my skirt. This frenzying feeling is a sign I’ve learned means-

‘Look out!’ My ears react to the sound of an explosion starting before my brain and body can even react. By instinct, or maybe with some help from Sol, I pulled Carissa back towards me as we both jumped from the horrifically similar sounds of bombs. Familiar scents of smoke and flame rushed out of Lucky Plaza, the mall on the opposite side of the street.

‘They know.’ Sol spoke gravely. Waves of people ran by us, trying to get away. After all, there’s no telling which building would be next. New Singapura isn’t large, but we have a massive population. And Orchard’s population is a microcosm of that. If I wasn’t careful, I’d be swept along to safety. Unfortunately, I know I can’t be.

“Oh my God!” Carissa yells. It gets lost in the cacophony of screams. The inferno on the other side of the street is growing, threatening to engulf everyone in the mall. There are harrowing cries coming from the depths of the mall. I can make them out as if they’re a whisper. By the time the police get here, the ones still trapped in the building could already be dead. The rampaging crowd is emerging from the mall, coughing out ash.

‘We need to go.’

Deliberately, I let go off Carissa’s hand. Feigning the strength of the crowd overpowering me.

“I’ll find you! I promise! Get to safety and message me you’re safe! Don’t worry about me!” I called out as Carissa washed away from me like waves by the beach. Horror coloured her face as others dragged her away from the disaster. My feet were planted firmly on the ground, unmoved by the crowd but assimilating into it.

“Rose! Wait! Come back!” I hear her voice get further and further, but as long as her body produces heat I’ll find her. In the crowd, I weasel my way against the crowd, tossing my bag to the side.

‘Blaze up, Sol!’ Like the fires from the building spread onto my body, I feel myself burn away. My blood boils, then cools, then the body erupts its normal black armour.

Rose is gone and the Salamander returns.

I blitz towards Lucky Plaza, jumping on cars scrambling to get away from the bombsite. The orange monster towers over me, the scale of destruction like nothing I’ve seen in person. Now that it’s right in front of me, if I think about it too much, my legs would lock up.

So I just don’t think about it.

I run into the flames, feeling nothing as fire grazes my skin the way wind would. If I could, I’d have Sol bond with everyone here and give them this gift. But I’m the only one who’s safe, someone who didn’t need this power.

‘Sol, I- We have some control over fire, right? Can we-’

‘No. I can not.’

All this power of fire, and it’s completely useless right now. My best hope is to evacuate everyone out. I can do that.

At least, I hope I can.

On a normal day, Lucky Plaza is a bustling mall with the smell of hair salons no matter which floor you’re on. Today, it’s bathed in a whirlpool of flames with a deadly orange replacing its usual white interior. The abhorrent smell of ash and smoke has infiltrated the mall, replacing laughs and gossip into coughs and cries for help. Every floor is awash in rubble and debris, parts of the ceiling on the floor, escalators now torn into halves with broken mannequins blending in with the actual people caught in this tragedy.

The heat signatures are a bit muddled among the flames, but I detect eighteen people who are stuck. Some of them are nearby one another, so I can grab multiple at a time. I make my way to the ones stuck on the tallest floor first to escort them out. If they don’t burn to death, they’ll choke to death from the thickness of the smoke. I climb the sides of the stairs haphazardly, jumping from broken chunk to the next.

My first stop is a group of five stuck within the Jollibee. A few scream in terror seeing me, one screams for help. They can’t be much older than I am. Their outfits are trendy and their faces are dirty with grime. One is unconscious.

“It’s okay! I’m here to help! I’m a good guy!” My words barely comfort them, but between the scary lizard man and burning alive in a fast food joint, they realise their options are slim. I pick two up in my arms, including the one knocked out, and one in my tail. I can’t help but apologise for how gross it may feel. I reassure the two remaining teens, one with curly brown hair and the other with cateye glasses, that I’d come back for them before they know it. Hesitantly, they thanked me.

“Don’t worry, it’s what I do! Now hold on tight, I don’t come with seatbelts!” I tried so hard to provide some hope. A moment of levity. Their facial muscles relax.

Without these people in my care, I could just jump back down. But they couldn’t take that kind of impact. Instead I go back to the stairs and slide down as if I’m abseiling.

‘Any faster way?’ Sol asks, pondering in their brain as to how we could make a swifter evacuation.

‘Not any way safer.’

That settled, I stick back onto the sides of the stairs. Thankfully, the rescue goes on without a hitch. Exiting the building, I can see the authorities have arrived. Firemen and cops surround Lucky Plaza, the latter group aiming guns at me. I don’t have time for this. I can’t afford to lose focus now. I put the teens down, passing the unconscious one onto a stretcher. I can still feel their heat signature, but I place a finger on their wrist to check for their pulse anyways.

“Sir, there are fifteen more people alive inside. We have to find them!” I told a fireman, who did not have a meeting with me on their to-do list. I notice blatant apprehension in listening to what I have to say, probably because of my recently shoddy reputation.

“How do you-”

“Please, trust me. There are five on the sixth floor, three on the fifth, two on the fourth, the three on the third and two on the second.” Sol rattles this information off for me, as the fireman relays that info to the others.

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I gotta move.

I spur myself back into the flames, back to work. There’s still time. I can get three people out at once, I just need to find them. If I’m lucky, the inferno will be put out as I’m saving everyone. As I reenter, a guardrail from the higher floor falls to the ground floor.

‘We need to hurry.’

The building is starting to collapse around me. My hands are trembling as well as my lips. I know I can save everyone here. I have to save everyone. I have the time. There are only fifteen left. I can’t stop now. I can do it. With Sol’s help, we’ve mapped out our path to rescuing those trapped. I’m not a religious girl, but I pray they can last a bit longer. I climb once more, making my way back to the sixth floor.

‘Rose!’ I hear the beep. And another. Right beneath me, the guilty device sits. Its final beep distorts to a cruel laugh in my head.

Another explosion that sends me flying back to the ground, with the spiral staircase falling right after. A majority of the crushing concrete barely misses me and slams onto the ground instead, but some debris strikes me from above, like the harshest hailstorm ever.

My muscles have tensed. My lungs have been reminded of what it feels like to need to exert. With extra effort, I push the debris off and dust myself off, scanning the area for the guilty party.

There’s an ache in my legs, an awful reminder that I'm not as invincible as I thought.

‘Move!’

Tiny balls fly over me as I roll to the right, dodging the spherical bombs that explode on contact with the ground. I close my eyes and cover my face instinctually, and Sol rings another warning in my head.

There’s heat behind me. Another person. A person I found before.

Behind me. And coming closer.

I don’t remember the last time someone saw me and chose to come close.

And the surprise of it all clouds my judgement and slows my reaction time.

As Sol warns me, a combat boot buries itself into my back and pushes me to the floor. Before I hit the ground I’m grabbed by my tail and swung into a glass window pane of a clothing store, the shards raining on me and mannequins tumbling on me. Glass makes a valiant attempt to cut me, but my armour is much stronger. Fateful cuts across vital veins are turned into the equivalent of flesh wounds with a mild sting.

I’m struggling to get up and Sol’s encouraging me to speed up that process in my head, when I sense the heat coming closer again. When faced with danger for the first time in a year, when it came to fight or flight, I decided to freeze.

My assailant grabs me by the neck and throws me, my body breaking right through the frail wall that divides the clothing store and the hair salon next door. My arms instinctively go up to shield my face.

Wincing a little, I look up and finally see what I’ve been fighting. My breath grows heavy, and my eyes widen slightly when I see my matchup.

The man before me is a little taller than me, bulkier than the average. He has a cloth mask over his mouth, and a visor over his eyes, glowing a sickly yellow. He’s donned what I can only assume to be a cheap hoodie, a belt that houses his bombs and cargo pants. It’s completely functional and hides his identity well. I don’t know who I’m looking at, or if I’m even looking at someone I know. He’s sweating, and I’m not sure if it’s from the heat or his own panic. He reminds me of Gabriel.

I analyse his body, not entirely sure how he had that much power to hurt me like that.

“Hello, Salamander. I’ve been meaning to meet you for a while.”

His tone is condescending, uncaring, as if the lives he's putting in jeopardy were nothing but a means to find me, like baiting a mouse with cheese. My heart’s beating out of my chest when I realise: I’ve never really fought a villain before. I can't imagine any normal human being strong enough to face me, but the tremble in my legs and wriggling of my tail tells me I'm not ready to find out if one exists.

I posture up, my fists set ablaze with flames about as hot as the ones engulfing the building. The only consolation prize I have is that law enforcement should be saving the victims while I deal with this psychopath. If I didn’t stop him here, maybe he’d kill more innocents. The answer seemed simple: quickly knock him out then save everyone else. Easy peasy, I hoped.

I leap at him trying to kick him, my foot wrapped in fire, but he dodge rolls out of the way as I land gracefully on the floor. He's not an amateur relying on raw power and brutality: he's trained to fight. He has technique. And I'm emulating whatever I've seen in action movies. Gnawing doubt won’t leave my mind as I think of my next move.

‘Whatever he’s trained for, he doesn’t have the muscle memory to deal with a tail.’ Sol advised. As if it were a practised move, I use my tail to grab him by the boot and flip him over onto the ground. There’s a thud on the ground, like steel clanging.

‘That’s not what a normal human sounds like hitting the ground.’

‘Yeah, that’s not flesh hitting the ground! Sol, what the hell is this guy?’

‘Not human.’

I hop back to create some distance and assess my assailant, thinking of a battle plan.

He can’t be comfortable in that many layers in the scorching heat of the flames, if he’s a person at all. Their ‘costume’ is soaked with sweat, its stench pungent. It’s quite disgusting, actually. Yet they stand up perfectly straight, as if only slightly losing their balance instead of being slammed onto the ground. Suddenly, a plan involving exhausting him seems out of reach.

He chuckles and taunts me with a “come here” motion. The crackle of fire beside me scores the scene.

I want him dead. I want to feel his collarbone shatter in a punch, for his pelvic bones to crumble into ash when I set him aflame. I haphazardly fling him to the floor and walk over, eager to turn his body to a corpse. My hands are heating up, I can feel tears well up in my eyes, my mouth has gone dry. I finally understand what 'seeing red' means.

Unthinking, we raise our right hand towards him, as fire shoots out of my palm like an extension of my body. The inferno grazes his jacket. He rolls over, never giving away any emotion, instantly putting out the fire on him. The flame continues like a rope being thrown out. It goes straight into a hair salon.

I watch on in abject horror as the attack I launched causes an explosion. Fire collides with hair products and combusts almost instantly, sending the two of us flying off. Maybe he planted a bomb. I tell myself that, not wanting to come to grips with reality.

‘Sol, what do I-’ I’m completely dumbfounded. I used my powers to cause destruction. It doesn’t feel real. Like finding out a harmless prank led to a tragic death.

A distracted Salamander gets punched by the hooded figure. And then again. And again. A relentless flurry of electricity courses through my veins as I struggle to find my footing. He’s not at the amount of strength a normal human would have. Something gets caught in my throat and I spit it out. I watch as fire comes out in place of saliva.

Deftly, he grabs my neck and lifts me up.

“You’re lighter than you look.” Forcefully, he slammed me onto the floor as I choked out more fire. I’m pushed onto my knees with enraged arms. Agony floods my body. I’m nauseous. Despite being buried in my head, Sol’s voice feels distant, like the call of a friend from afar. Clinically, the monster lifts my arms and grabs my hand. I’m pulled like a puppet, strength being sapped as he has his way with me. He inspects my right hand, fingers elongated from the transformation.

Then he breaks my pointer finger and I scream. As I do so, more of the building falls around us, like my scream causes the collapse. It very well could be. He does it again to my middle finger.

‘No!’

Sol takes the wheel and from my palm, they combust the air to create a small fiery explosion which flings him off balance, bringing the tempo of the fight back to being on my side. With measured strength, I use my good hand to punch his face and send the prick flying to the floor. The visor comes off and I see his bloodshot blue eyes, alongside a tiny burn mark at the corner of his left eye. He’s as drained as I am but has received far less punishment. His face is comically red with sweat waterfalling.

From the impact of the blow, I watched him gag. The monster struggles to stand as he covers his mask with his hand, throwing up in it. It’s humiliating to watch.

“Not so tough are ya’!?” I shout, pouncing on top of him. My feet step on his vomit stained sweater. His body doesn’t lie flat on the floor, indicating there’s something attached to his back. I wrap my hands around his neck and Sol tightens the grip. In a faint moment of clarity, I resist.

‘Wait!’

‘Why?’

‘We-we can’t kill-’

‘He is not human.’

It’s almost a convincing argument, but I feel the softness of his flesh on my body. It causes me to hesitate. In that split second moment of weakness, I immediately realised what a mistake that was.

As he chokes for air, he reaches into one of his pockets in a quick movement. From it, he pulls out a switch and clicks it. Another explosion. There’s new blood curdling screaming that penetrates the thick smoke in the air. It’s deafening. The sound of falling debris can’t cover up the ripping of life from a human.

He snickers and coldly looks in my eyes. In terror, I’ve let go of his neck.

With his thumb shaking, he presses the button again.

And the moment seemingly repeats itself. He does it twice more callously. The whole time I’m frozen in place, in an absolute zero where even the heat of the mall fails to melt me.

The cries have gotten louder. And yet, there are less distinct voices. Any hope I had of redemption, of protecting everyone trapped in this hellhole was eviscerated by this demon in front of me.

“Watching you lose hope… it’s so… hah, oh, it’s so nice. I love it..” He’s boasting and gloating as he gasps for air. I want nothing more than to bury him in the ground and cremate his living body. Regret poisons me. I should have let Sol do it. I still have time to do it.

But I can hear the terrified cries for help behind me putting me on a timer.

And he knows this. I impose a sadistic grin on his face with puke dribbling from it, despite being unable to see his full face. The longer I delay, the less hope I have of ever saving anyone here. He knows this. I can’t push this fight any further. Innocent people are going to die on my watch if I keep up this squabble.

‘Move!’ This time I’m the one dominating the thoughts.

I leap up, desperately finding a path to the heat signatures I felt before. As I do, I watch as the creature runs off, like a kid let out for recess. There’s law enforcement everywhere, so I pray that someone arrests him outside and he atones for his sins.

‘We could burn him now. We can set fire to his exits and leave him to choke. We can-’ Sol hisses at me.

‘No! There’s no time! We’re not here to fight, we’re here to save!’ I feel around the room again for the various living heat signatures and hope I reach them in time.

Pathetically, that fight has muddled my senses. With the constant pain of broken fingers and various hits I just took, my world is spinning. I can’t focus and search for heat signatures. I think it a blessing: I don’t want to find out there are less than fifteen.

Heaving and wheezing, I reach the Jollibee once more on the highest floor. I can’t trust my heat signature sensing. It’s obviously failing me right now. That’s why I can’t sense anyone. I just have to search and rescue them.

I scramble around the debris, searching and scanning and looking and heaving and hoping they’re safe. Serpentine thoughts of doubt cause my will to waver. I couldn’t have fought for that long. I couldn’t have wasted that much time. There’s still time. There’s still time. My heartbeat pounds in my head.

And then I see it. A pair of cats eye glasses uncaringly broke on the floor, its lens’ completely shattered. The hinge on the left side had fallen off completely, impossible to find. And that’s when the miserable truth rears its head.

My heat sensing works fine.

Underneath the fallen roof, I notice a limp arm sticking out, at one point probably grasping for life, for anyone to save them. For me to save them. The sun’s rays shine through the newly formed hole in the ceiling, creating a spotlight for me to focus on amongst the ruination.

My legs trembling and my steps disquietingly slow, I kneeled down beside the fallen roof and effortlessly lifted up the rubble to reveal a lifeless body where there was once a helpless victim who put all their hope onto me. There’s blood leaking from his head, that claret liquid staining his cheeks like tears. The dust from fallen concrete and ash have sullied his body. Another person I had to save that I didn’t. And this is just the first body I’ve found. They don’t look a day older than I do.

I screamed out into the burning abyss. I try to clench my fists, pushing through the pain of my broken fingers. My failures weighed on me like the building had crashed atop me, driving me insane. I let people die again. Again, again. Their demise is all my fault. The monstrous yells I create force their way through the building, a violent, visceral eruption of anger shaking the very heavens itself. I punch the ground leaving a tiny crater in my wrath.

‘We need to move. We can mourn later.’ Sol says weakly.

‘We shouldn’t have fought.’

‘We didn’t have a choice.’

The world is crumbling around me. I can’t sense anyone else in the building. Either they’re out or dead.

Shamefully, I lifted up the boy’s body. It’s so light in my hands. It is near weightless. It’s what a body feels like with a spirit to inhabit it. He’s so light. I manage to evacuate the body out of the mall: the only one I manage to get out.

As I’m exiting, the hellfire is being doused. Perhaps it always has been, but I never noticed. When I exit, there are paramedics tending to the wounds of the ones who managed to escape. The ones they could save. They all barely escaped with injuries, including servicemen who tried to save people like I did, who had the misfortune of getting caught in the secondary blasts. There are news reporters from every station everywhere, interviews with police chiefs and bystanders looking on the tragedy that occurred as if it were the Olympics. I see kids livestream, grandparents filming the disaster for their children to see.

Everyone watches me put a body down, then reenter the danger zone. Reporters try for an interview, cops try to apprehend me, notably no one thanks me. Usefully, there are holes in the building and back entrances I can exit from unnoticed. My broken fingers are already healing, and I so badly wish I could give Sol to any of the casualties and heal them all the same. I can not, and that uselessness eats away at me.

I’m panting. I’m hyperventilating. I’m crying. Tears evaporate the moment they leave my eyes, like my skin is a sizzling sun. The world seems to shake under my grand failure, but really it’s just my legs trembling profusely. My eyes are spinning and my head is ringing, Sol is trying to comfort me but the ringing is deafening. I’m uncontrollably tumbling as I try to move. I don’t know what to do. How do I fix anything when all my powers tell me to destroy?

Out of sight, I transform back into Rose. And she drops to her knees and cries, and cries, and cries.