With 2 hours of sleep, a coffee and superhuman physiology helping me out, I manage to drag myself out of the house to go to the beach.
The air is salty and warm, the sounds of children calling for their parents to check out their sandcastles permeating through the oasis that is Santosa. Today’s beach cleanup is a good mindless activity to suppress last night’s events. Picking up the litter of the inconsiderate in 34 degrees celsius weather isn’t that bad, but it is painfully boring. After performing daredevil stunts almost every night, daily activities lose their colour. But if last night’s incident is what ‘life in colour’ looks like, I would like things to stay monochrome.
The image of Gabriel falling has carved its place in my head like an axe to a tree. When I close my eyes, I imagine my hand barely touching his as he falls further and further away. It’s why I barely slept. Had anything gone slightly different that night, if I went to a different building, or left at a different time, or even said the wrong thing to Gabriel, he may not have gone back home.
Words jumbled in my head, trying their best to form a coherent sentence to speak to him but nothing I conjured in my frantic mind was good enough to put to sound. Eventually, he thanked me for my time and returned indoors. I offered to walk him back to his room, but he declined, saying I had done enough.
But my hands couldn’t stop trembling. So I tracked his heat signature until it made its way into his home. I only left a half hour later.
I’ll never get confirmation that I did enough. He could always come back to that roof, and who’s to say if I’ll be there that time? But it feels like it should be my responsibility to keep him afloat above murky waters. There’s a nauseating feeling that comes from knowing that I can’t know if he’ll always be okay.
That lack of knowledge kept me from falling asleep, manifesting itself as the shadowy vision of Gabriel dropping off that building again.
Despite the sounds of happy families and teens frolicking in the sun, there’s a sombre feeling I can’t shake off. But those sounds turn to silence quickly. Though I’m alone in my doubt, I'm not alone in my thoughts.
‘I thought you did more than enough. I was ready to leave as soon as he was back on the roof, but you did so much more. You truly saved his life.’ Sol reiterated yet again, trying to put us at ease.
‘Barely. I barely caught him, barely convinced him life was worth living. I barely did anything, all I did was let him talk.’ I can’t help but chide myself, wondering what more I could have done. Do therapists wonder if their clients will ever return the next day? Are firefighters kept up at night by infernos they put out?
I sighed, attempting to use the tail I didn’t currently have to pick up a crushed soft drink can.
‘No, you listened to a man who needed to be heard. You told him what he needed to hear. What he couldn’t believe, you made him believe.’ They continued to speak, Sol’s concern flowing through me, a soft amber warmth.
‘What you told him,’ Sol continued, ‘do you think you’d ever be able to tell Carissa and the others-’
‘I couldn’t! We aren’t the same. If they found out…’
Then what? Would they shun me? Resent me for being a monster? Look at me differently? Treat me like I was no longer Rose? It’s not that I didn’t trust them enough to confide in them, but the unknown petrifies me to no end, like a coiling snake wrapping around my throat whenever I even thought about saying the words ‘I am the Salamander’ out loud.
I didn’t want to inflict the burden of the Salamander on Rose.
And what happens if they find me abhorrent for doing all this behind their backs? For not trusting them? And what if they reveal the information to the public? The variables I’d have to consider to even divulge the information to them made my head spin.
‘Nonetheless, Gabriel woke up this morning and had one more day on Earth. That is a cause that makes you a hero.’ Sol abruptly chimes in, snapping me out of my self-induced panic.
‘But what if I didn’t save Gabriel? It was more likely he ended up dead last night. I got lucky, Sol.’ I couldn’t stop imagining a reality where I was in the wrong place that night and Gabriel's body going limp or splattering as it hit the ground from 24 storeys up. I barely slept the night before, the images of that twisted reality crystal clear in my head.
‘Why dwell on what never happened? You did save him. You did.’
Frustrated, I snatch a plastic bag off the ground and throw it into my trash bag. No one else notices the smoking hole I left in it.
I sigh. He’s obviously right. If someone else came to me with this problem (hey, you never know who else has strange powers like me), I’d say the exact same thing to them.Still, I don’t feel worthy of that kindness. Queasy from the repeated flashes of failure, I stopped to stew in guilt, hoping the feeling of empty plastic bottles in my hands is enough to distract from the feeling of inadequacy. Man, people really mess up Santosa after hours.
“Are you feeling okay?” Zhen Rong asks, pulling me back into the real world. He asks through swatting a mosquito off him, his trash bag noticeably smaller than mine. Actually, maybe mine’s noticeably bigger.
“Fine. Just thinking about some stuff is all. How about you? Had a good week?” I ask, more out of courtesy than anything.
“Well, I suppose so! Pretty productive trainings, not really behind on any work. Though Mr Adams lost chemicals for our recent practical practice. He laughed it off, but he said if he found the student responsible they’d suffer the consequences. He say until a bit psycho.” He mused. It was common to hear of Mr. Adams being short on some hydroxide or whatever was needed for the lesson. He was Ashen’s dad and a forgettable teacher, the kind you forget two years after graduation, only remembered for the anxiety and stress he instilled in students for when he’d force students to sit through one of his tantrums.
“Mr Adam’s gotta stop losing shit.” I laugh, and so does he. Zhen Rong’s smile is bright, like the sun itself. I stare for a moment too long and quickly turn away, hoping he doesn’t notice. I scan the area for Carissa, the only one of us who still wears a watch despite being in the era of smart technology. Still, awfully convenient to tell the time at the cleanup. She’s helping other volunteers tie up their bags as she grabs a second bag to use.
“About a half hour more, alright? Then we can go grab lunch! I’m thinking Burger King!” Carissa calls, adding a second layer to her trash bag.
“Eh, if we going Vovi Mall we might as well eat Shake Shack.” Zhen Rong suggests, wiping the sweat from his brow.
“I’m poor, leh! Burger King sounds good!” I joke back.
The manual labour isn’t particularly taxing on my body anymore, but it fulfils its role of distracting me from my thoughts. For a moment, I felt like just Rose, the teenager who just had to worry about normal teen things. Who has crushes and friends and doesn’t have to see strangers fall off buildings every time she closes her eyes. I began to wander over to my bag to check my phone and get a sip of water, when a sharp voice pierces my mind.
‘Rose, something’s not right.’
The back of my neck began burning, which is Sol’s tell for something being seriously wrong. My senses dial up to eleven, and I’m far more sensitive to everything around me. The briny smell of sweat, the shrill sound of laughter, the taste of salt in the air, the coarse sand beneath my feet, it’s like turning up the video quality to 4K resolution in every sense. It’s overwhelming. But I couldn’t identify anything out of the ordinary. Is Sol wrong? Maybe they're paranoid? I should ask-
An explosion reverberated across the entire beach. Screams and the pattering of footsteps scurry away from the source. I watched in horror as the tranquil morning had turned into a grotesque nightmare.
The smoke enveloped the air, and when I thought the worst was over, another explosion. Once childlike glee and laughter is contorted into screams, salt becomes sulphur, the sand starts to vibrate harshly. It doesn’t take heightened senses to realise something is wrong here.
“Everyone get out!” I scream, hoping to reach out to those frozen in panic. Some people are trying to see what caused the explosions, but the sensible ones quickly round them up and drag them away from danger.
‘People could have been caught in that blast, Rose.’ Sol tells me.
My eyes glow a faint red tint, using Sol’s gift of infrared vision I can see through the smoke and find five people in there, all on the ground. The smoke is thick and grey, without heat sensing and infrared I wouldn’t see anything.
‘They’re going to choke to death in the smoke. Or Vulk forbid, another explosion.’
My heart’s palpitations are going haywire and I feel like I’m going to pass out. Instinctually, my body twists itself and readies to run away with Zhen Rong and Carissa, but my legs lock in place.
‘We have work to do, partner.’
Sol’s voice is firm, like he was giving an order. They know what we must do, above all else. I’ve never changed form in the day before, the anxiety of being caught Salamander handed restricting my desire to ever transform in the sunlight. If I’m caught, what happens? I can’t, it’s too risky.
‘The police will-’
‘They aren’t here. You are. We need to act now, you can save everyone.’ Sol emphasised the isolation, I’m the only one here now. The proper authorities need time to get here and the luxury of time is not something the innocents trapped in the smoke could afford.
I take a deep breath, close my eyes and see Gabriel falling again. Opening my eyes, for a flicker of a moment I can see a man of his silhouette stuck in the blast zone. I could run and let everyone down. Or, I can use my gifts and do what I was made to do.My heart pounded with determination now, raw energy coursing through my veins like a river.
Sol’s stance on this is clear, and so is mine now.
I run out of sight of the crowd and sink into the ocean, thanking my past self for dressing light in clothes I don’t mind getting wet. I need a bit of cover to go unnoticed. There are no eyes on me, rightfully so.
‘Blaze up, Sol!’ The creeping darkness covered me, seawater boiling the moment I’m in my true form. It was as if the salt of the sea seeped into open wounds when I metamorphosed like this, but I didn’t have much choice.
Propelling myself out with a forceful kick and tail slap against the seafloor, the Salamander makes their daylight debut. Against the current of people running away, I’m running into the smoke. That boyish voice resonating in my ears makes me turn my head.
“Where’s Rose?” Zhen Rong asks Carrie in a panic. My mouth opens only for my mind to quickly stop it from making a sound.
“Can’t find her! She disappeared!”
“We gotta find her! Did she get--” The smell of sulphur in the air is growing stronger, causing fear to knock on my heart. I can’t have them stay here and search for me, they’re in constant danger as long as they’re on this beach.
“Hey kids, get out of here! It’s not safe!” I tell them, hoping the altered voice I have doesn’t immediately give away the fact that I’m the very friend they’re looking for.
“But our friend-”
“She’ll be okay! Now go! Call her or something but don’t stay here! I got this!” I proclaim, hoping it’s enough to put them at ease. Nodding, the two of them grab their things and run off. I wish they didn’t waste time taking things, that’s an extra five seconds in the blast zone.
Through the chaos of screams and undying smoke, I am eternally grateful for my power set. The smoke, the heat, none of it fazes me as the Salamander. One by one, I’m picking up people left in the wake of destruction. I’m able to feel for distinct heat signatures of people, thus able to track every one of them despite the smog in the air. Some were adults, some were children, but all of them needed my help.
No matter who I picked up, they felt like feathers on a scale.
The cacophony of groaning and hysterical crying slowly shrunk as I managed to salvage people from the jaws of smoke. My heart shattered seeing men with blood leaking out their mouths with tears out their eyes, a young child going ballistic over a terrifying headache caused by being in the blast zone. He cried for his mother, and all I could do was get him out of the smoke and hope she’d come for him. I was saving everyone’s lives, but no one was coming out unscathed.
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Every time I left the smoke I handed victims over to bystanders outside and commanded them to call for first aid. As long as everyone got medical attention as soon as they got out, I could minimise the damage. Foolishly, a faint glow of hope began to ignite in my heart. By the time I got the second to last person out, the potential of saving everyone here was very real.
That is, until my worst fear came to fruition: another explosion occurred. Unsurprised but furious, I grit my teeth and steel my resolve. I will save everyone. My body moves on its own without me even needing to deliberate on my decision.
As long as they have a heat signature, I can find them. I’m not concerned anymore about finding the victims because I can track them down. Instead, a burning question manifests in my head: how the hell did these explosions start? I’m guessing a gas leak, but is there even underground infrastructure at the Pandan Beach? And if there is, I got real lucky that I was in the right place at the right time. Or was it even luck? Was it plan-
“Salamander Man! My daughter’s in there! Please, help her!” A woman grabs my arm tightly as I get a father and his child out of the fire, the two coughing profusely as I lower them onto the sand. Her plea snapped me out of my internal examination of the situation. Tears glittered her eyes, that liquid desperation alone begged me to save her child.
I nodded and raced back inside, promising her that I’d save her daughter. I can feel her heat signature and see her through infrared vision, but she’s deep in. I bolted across the beach, unsure of how long she can last in this perdition.
“Help!” The little girl cries out from the depths, sound coming from where I sensed her heat. Rummaging through the chaos, I find a girl in a pink singlet and shorts on her knees, crying and choking. She’s bruised on the knee, her sandals burning off to the side.
“My ears won’t stop ringing!”
I want to cry. What do I do about that? I almost froze up. My heart thrashes, like the sea against the shore in a storm.
“It’s okay, I’m here. I’ll get you out of here!” Sol comforted her on my behalf. Choking and croaking, she weakly lifted her head up to look at the monster above her. The quivering lips and trembling body were enough to tell me she wasn’t entirely sold on my status as a hero, but I was not willing to waste any more time trying to convince her I’m a good guy. I picked her up and cradled her out of the ashes, clutching her tightly like a prized gem.
'Cover her!' Sol abruptly rings in my ear.
I follow without question, the girl yelping as I shield her with my body, another explosion triggering out of nowhere. I get hit in the back by it and sent flying across the sand, when I realise I’m about to land with her hitting the ground, I spin in the air so I can cushion her impact. The whole time I’m desperately holding onto her like a lifeline for a drowning man. That ominous smoke began to rise once more, causing her to cough profusely.
"It'll be okay," I comforted, bracing myself for another explosion at Sol's call. "What's your name?"
"Nisha!" She cries, trying to hold it together. I can feel my chest being moistened by her tears. Just like that, a connection that calms her down is formed. She has to hang on.
"Okay, Nisha! I’m the Salamander! It'll be okay! I'm here! I'm strong! I can handle it! You’re strong too! We can do this! You’ll be okay!"
‘Flip over!’
“Hold on tight!” I flip to my stomach, still acting as Nisha’s shelter when Sol instructed me to. Instinctually, I shielded her head, knowing what was coming, and lowered her from my chest.
Another explosion. This time, it's right in front of my face. Whatever exploded I never saw in the heat of the moment, or it was never in my sight line to begin with.
Nisha screams loud enough to rival the blast. I bite down on my tongue, not daring to scream and scare her more.
I fall back, still clutching Nisha securely, groaning. An odd sensation I rarely feel anymore courses through my body: pain. Sure, I feel pain when I transform, but ever since Sol I haven’t had this level of agony inflicted on me. I can only imagine what that would have felt like if I was human, or what would have happened to Nisha if not for me.
On second thought, I didn't want to think of it.
I release Nisha from my grasp, her eyes watering and tightly shut. I can only dread to think about whatever permanent psychological and physical damage she's suffered. The blemishes and bleeding across her body will heal, but I can only dread the things that will scar her for life.
"Are you okay?"
"I-I think so. I think I'm okay. Thank you, Salamander!" She openly weeps, tightly hugging me.
"Good, good. Let's get you to your mum!" A response. I didn’t expect that. If I wasn’t here, she’d be completely silent by now.
I limped out with Nisha in my arms, like two soldiers exiting a battlefield. Mustering a bit more strength from deep within me, I dash far from the sand to pass her to her mother, who hugs her in a way only a mother could. The two have their moment, embracing each other and being grateful they still get to share time together.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you so much...” The woman blathers out through tears she’s no longer bothering to hold back. Nisha does the same, clutching onto my leg and hugging me as she thanks me.
My heart melts, her sound is muffled by my leg. I pat her head and tell her everything is going to be okay. Emotions wells up within me, and I chalk it up to the fact I just saved the day, but this wave of gratitude feels nearly foreign. But I don’t have time to worry about that.
The sirens I’m hearing from nearby tell me that the police have arrived. That’s my cue to leave. The worst part is over. No more heat signatures left, even if there was an explosion the beach was almost fully evacuated. The day is saved, I can rest.
I run into a vacant bathroom and change back to Rose. As if escaping the crime scene, I hastily walk off, looking over my shoulder to ensure I’m not being followed.
‘We did good, partner. Couldn’t have done it without you.’ I tell Sol. They gave me the powers to do what I did, and when I couldn’t hack it they took charge. They gave me the push I needed to get my head in the game. If not for Sol, those people would have died.
‘We saved everyone. Perhaps now you feel more at ease.’
‘A little. But that’s not what’s important right now.’ I say to them.
‘The important part is knowing who started the explosion.’
‘Exactly. My guess is underground there must have been a gas leak or something, right?’ I asked as I walked across the beach back to the monorail back to the mall, hoping not to step on a mine.
‘That doesn’t seem implausible. Do you suspect foul play, perhaps?’
‘You mean like terrorism. Or a super villain?’ I stared at the floor, lost in these thoughts. If today and last night were just tastes of the superhero life, then I’d like to complain to the chef, this is putrid.
‘I wouldn’t say the latter. But there has to be a person behind this attack.’ Sol suggested.
‘But what does someone gain out of attacking the beach?’ I ask. If I’ve learned anything about crime and detective work over years of watching crime documentaries and reading mystery novels, to figure out the who, you first have to figure out the why.
But aside from causing destruction, I can’t imagine what someone gains out of attacking the beach. There were no hostages or demands, no one claiming responsibility to instil fear in the populace, it was all unchecked chaos and destruction. Was that the point?
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I’m treated to a deluge of messages from Zhen Rong and Carissa asking about me, sending selfies of themselves to show they’re okay. Twitter is blowing up right now, news about the attack is rampant online, with some people getting footage of me at the beach saving lives. It’s definitely the clearest footage that exists of me. Thankfully, rudimentary searching doesn’t show any footage of my transformation.
Finally, positive PR.
‘Civilians are safe. Your friends are safe. The world is realising we aren’t villains.’
‘Aside from the conspiracy theorists.’ I point out, having to sift through equally accusatory tweets of me with a fair amount of likes. My face distorts to a cringe when I see people allege that I caused the attack today.
Feeling extremely fortunate, I message my family and friends telling them I’m safe, then call the latter to figure out where they were. I inhaled deeply, trying to stop my hand from vibrating. My mouth tasted like ash.
“Carissa?” I asked as the phone was picked up, voice quivering.
“Oh my god!” She half shouted, and though she tried her best to cover it, her tone suggested paused crying. The racketing of the train nearly overshadowed her voice.
“Oh my god you’re okay! Where are you? You’re okay right? Zhen Rong and I are- we’re like, going, far. Far. Okay, not that far. But we are heading far, like, we haven’t decided where, we’re just on the train right now. Can you meet with us?”
“I’ll be there! Promise!” I answer with relief in every word. They’re safe.
“Where did you run off to? Why’d you split from us?” They interrogate as I begin to dig through my brain for possible excuses I can give.
“I, uh, went to the bathroom at the time,” I lied, “When I came back I saw the explosions and couldn’t find you guys. Sorry, eh, my phone died for a bit too, I used the charging stations at Vovi to have the batt to contact you guys.”
There’s a pause in the conversation. I don’t think she believes my lie, but to her there isn’t a better explanation for my disappearance.
“Oh thank god. I- We thought something had happened to you! Why didn’t you- Hey, hang on, Zhen Rong wants to talk!” I swallow hard.
“Hello?” The voice immediately changes, and once again I’m ever so grateful that I still have the luxury of hearing his voice.
“Yes, Hi, I’m alright.” I quickly answer before he can ask where I was when shit was going down.
“Thank God, dude. Okay, uh okay, we’ll uh tell you where we’re going. We’ll grab lunch then ah go home. I’m really glad you’re okay.” His voice is sweet like honey, his cadence telling me his nerves were being put to rest..
“Okay, yeah! Me too! Thanks.” A sharp inhale. “I’m glad you two are safe as well. I’ll be there.” I lower my voice, not wanting to bother the other passengers on the monorail. Zhen Rong laughs softly on the other side, and suddenly the obsidian that cases my heart as the Salamander melts into nothingness. I’m just 15-year-old Rose again, pining from three tables away in class.
“Yeah, yeah. Hey, glad the Salamander Man came right? He’s never appeared in the day before. It’s quite cool leh, having a superhero saving people IRL!” He sounded like a jackhammer bouncing up and down, excited thinking about the reptilian menace, as the internet so lovingly called me.
“Yeah, haha.” I laugh nervously. “Cool eh. Too bad we didn’t see him. Or get an autograph.”
“We saw him! He’s pretty scary up close, and he had this- like, gravely? Voice? It was sick. It’s like- man, there’s just nothing like him. It’s really lucky he was there.”
That last sentence made my stomach flip. The dots in my head started to connect together, a solved puzzle beginning to take shape.
“Um, yeah. Okay. Bye, I’ll see you. Just uh, update me.”
I hang up and begin walking. Slithering through the crowd escaping the confines of the monorail, my heart thunders in my chest. The back of my head goes cold. A heavy, undeniable truth is beginning to weigh on me.
‘Sol, I don’t think we got lucky.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I think whoever attacked was after us specifically.'
There’s a lull in the conversation, like the revelation required its own moment to digest. To sink into them as well.
‘Hm, attacking the Salamander. I see. So they knew we were here.’
‘Yes! But we didn’t even show up until the attack began! But they found us! How?’
‘Perhaps… we have not been as careful as we think.’ Sol lamented.
My fists clench and I bite my lip, the stress and horror slowly dawning upon me. Someone didn’t attack Santosa because they wanted the Salamander to show up. No, they knew that we would be there. They wanted us to know that they know who we are.
I check the news articles again, investigations are ongoing, there’s a suspicion of terrorism. No gas leak, Nothing. Barely anything underground in that area could have caused an explosion, if anything. No immediate suspects either. My phone slips out of my hand, I try to catch it with my tail then realise I don’t have one right now, and it drops on the floor.
My mind a whirlwind, I pick it up and inspect for damages, thankful there are none. I held my phone lightly, any harder and I could have risked breaking it with my bare hand.
The knowledge is beginning to burrow itself into me like a colony of insects. The explosions happened on the beach itself, but at areas that were far from crowded. It was a Saturday morning, there were plenty worse places to plant bombs. If one could plant these far in advance and just wanted to maximise casualty count, they could have chosen far more populated areas.
They didn’t. They chose an area with the beach cleanup.
Every explosion was at the beach. Not nearby beach bars with people dining, not at the nearby shopping mall where there would have been countless more casualties. If the intent is to hurt as many people as possible and instigate paranoia, the beach is not the first place you attack. Unless your goal isn’t to hurt random people. This was a warning shot.
‘Rose. You may be right. We’ve been compromised.’ I nod, my fingernails digging into my palm. A trickle of blood flows down.
Whoever attacked today didn’t hope the Salamander would reveal themself in daylight and appear out of thin air to save the helpless. The attacker knows that the Salamander was already there at the beach and would come to the rescue. That person has put two and two together. That Salamander wasn’t tracked.
Rose was.