Chapter 65 - The Comfort of Denial

High above the ground, Adam clung to the damp surface of a giant statue for dear life. The moist air of the dark cave cooled his skin. He felt the beats of his left heart all the way up his neck as he pushed himself to keep climbing. His numbed fingers sought out cracks in the cold stone to hold on to. By the sounds of a shuffling robe and the crumble of falling gravel, he could tell Emily was still climbing somewhere below him; probably near the statue’s knees.

Adam’s jaw muscles ached as he held a lit torch between his teeth. Stupid, sputtering thing—even when Adam turned his neck left, the cracks he could use to climb were barely visible in the flickering light. Maybe it wasn’t easy to stay lit with the waterfalls’ vapour all around. However, since Adam had little ambition to fall to his death in some corner of Caine’s Realm of Remembrance—or what remained of it—being able to see a damn thing sure was appreciated.

He craned his neck as far back as he could and groaned internally. It seemed like he was merely halfway up the statue’s thigh. Way higher, blotches of light illuminated parts of the statue. A shoulder, a chin, and a piece of arm—not enough to see who it was, although the engravings of constellations in the robes clarified they were a member of the Starwing Order. Didn’t narrow it down a lot; Caine sure remembered a lot of people in there, having been a loyal member. For a while. However, this statue was probably of someone who would kill Adam on sight, or Taint him to betray friends and loved ones. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Either way, judging by the way the light illuminated the higher parts of the statue, Adam and Emily expected they would finally be able to see something from the top. Hopefully, they’d get some overview of the giant half-collapsed cave and finally find a way out. With a grunt, Adam pulled himself up a bit again.

The earthy scent of stone had mixed with the cool aroma of clear water. However, an all-too-unwelcome smell had become prevalent since the climactic battle in the Node of Ziecherhein: the stench of the half-crumbled remains of the Overgrowth, reminding Adam of mould and copper. When he pulled one of the many dead thorny branches out of the stone, he was forced to admit the remnants of Caine’s Taint provided one advantage. The horrendous damage they’d left all over the Realm sure made impromptu spelunking and mountaineering sessions—like climbing this statue—a lot easier. Adam’s left hamstring protested with a nagging pain when he inserted the tip of his boot into one of the cracks.

Ugh, with all the bizarre things we’re coming across in Caine’s memories… is a simple flight of stairs truly too much to ask for?

Adam’s muscles may have been aching, but he steadily ignored their constant cry for rest. Every foot he climbed was one foot closer to his child, somewhere in the outside world. Any day they might find their way to a Node with the secrets to learn Reminiscence and the Invocation to finally escape Caine’s Realm of Remembrance.

At least, that’s what Emily and Adam had been telling each other. Truth be told, after weeks of being lost in the dark, half-collapsed tunnels and caves, he sure had no idea whether they were going in the right direction. Yet, if he truly wanted to make up for his many mistakes, there was only one way forward. Keep. Moving.

A lengthy groan of tortured stone erupted from all around them. The slippery grey stone quivered beneath Adam’s hands as tiny bits of gravel rained down on him from the ceiling. Rocks and stalactites fell down in what felt like an earthquake. To Adam’s left, the statue’s enormous hand trembled as well. Especially the index finger, which was right above…

Adam quickly spat out the torch from between his teeth and actually managed to catch it without dislodging himself. “EMILY, WATCH OUT!”

Below him, Emily hastily conjured an Ironglass screen at an angle. The massive stone fingertip clanged against the deep-blue Invocation—with its intricately decorated surface reminding of stained glass—bounced off and tumbled into the dark depths of the cave.

Adam sighed in sweet, sweet relief. “You okay down there?”

“Yeah, sure, why do you ask?” Emily deadpanned between her panting. She looked up at him, raising one corner of her mouth in that mischievous smile of hers. However, the grey rings of weariness beneath her eyes didn’t lie. “It’s just the appetiser before tons of rock inevitably fall on our heads. We’re probably doomed and all, yada yada, what’s new?”

Adam chuckled. “Ah, so we’re already in the ‘acceptance phase’ about our gruesome fate, good to know.”

But, how much has Caine already forgotten, now that his Realm of Remembrance is crumbling? And how much of the damage is because of… me? Adam winced when a familiar wave of cold guilt crept up from his stomach. He may have been Tainted to believe Caine had stolen his family, sure. But, no matter how he tried to justify it, he had weakened Caine. By fighting him, he had made Caine vulnerable to his greatest enemy. Adam had unknowingly played along to the sickening plot of a man he used to love as a brother. A man he couldn’t bring himself to think about yet; the wound was still too fresh.

Adam couldn’t help but wonder: what would’ve happened if he had connected the dots sooner?

He closed his eyes and exhaled. I couldn’t have known, my memories were adjusted, damn it! And I did clear Caine’s own Taint, right? By taking down the Core of the Overgrowth within the giant Root monster, all the Roots and Overgrowth had died. However, even that act had consequences. The vines and bushes of the Overgrowth had buried themselves into rocks all the way to the deepest recesses of the Realm. Upon their disappearance, the damage they’d left all over the Realm—from toppled columns to collapsed bridges—was staggering.

However, Adam doubted that was the only cause of the Realm’s steep decline.

He shook his head, suppressed the recurring thoughts, and looked at Emily again. “Hmm, any chance you could whip up some more of those fancy blue nightlights?”

She laughed. “ ‘Nightlights,’ really? Don’t let the priests hear you talking about ‘Aves’s holy art of Novaseering’ like that.”

“Oh, pardon,” Adam said dryly. “Don’t mean to offend the precious little feelings of people who think I belong either under the ground or shackled in a zoo with the other beasts.”

“Ah, right. But why are you asking? Is our big strong man scared in the dark?” she asked with a silly little voice as if talking to a puppy with a boo-boo.

“Nah, the lights just make it easier to find you when you get stuck. Again.”

“Oi! That hasn’t happened in three days now!”

Adam grinned at her taking the bait. Despite the bizarre circumstances, their banter felt comfortable. It was something from back home. Warm, trusted, and all too welcome in the insane sequence of events they’d ended up in.

Of course, they both knew there were grievances between them. Of lies, broken expectations, and suddenly revealed truths. Right now, though, it was better—or easier at least—for Adam to pretend everything was all right. That nothing had happened at all, and that a certain man had never existed.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

He grinned at her. “Oh, we’re not counting your little ‘slip-up’ when—”

Another threatening rumble reverberated through the cave. What? Again?! Although the sound was milder than the last time, both Adam and Emily pressed themselves against the stone statue, forming as small a target for the falling debris as possible. In the distance, the rumble of falling stone echoed alongside the ripping of wood and the rustling of branches. Before the battle in the Node of Ziecherhein, the defeat of the great Root monster and the Taint, he hadn’t experienced any of these ‘earthquakes’ or collapsed tunnels in the Realm. Things sure had changed since then.

Adam gritted his teeth in frustration. While they were stuck trying to find their way, who knew what was happening in the real world? Could they still save Caine at all? Adam hoped he wasn’t too late, but seeing Caine’s Realm going from bad to worse made him wonder...

“Osaehin,” Adam’s left heart whispered ominously. Hmm, fear huh? Yeah, I guess worry is one of its forms.

“Honestly,” Emily started between a few coughs. “Maybe it’s better if I only use Novaseering when I really have to. We don’t know how long we have to go, and with food being so scarce and all…”

Adam nodded grimly. It had been way too long since they had been able to hunt. Or even since they’d heard the cries of frogs or the rustling of monkeys in the tunnels. “Yes, good idea.” He bit down on the torch again and resumed climbing.

The only way forward was to keep going, whatever it took.

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Adam puffed out his cheeks. Finally, he’d pulled himself on top of the statue’s shoulder and could actually stand. Relieved, he shook out his cramped arms and took the torch from between his teeth. Right beside him, the statue’s massive head was crowned with a round, curly hairdo.

Adam scrunched up his nose in distaste. Apparently, he had been climbing the likeness of Osterhild, one of the highest-ranking members of the Starwing Order. Even in stone, Osterhild’s proud expression carried subtle signs of a power-hungry despot. The disdain in her tight, stern lips was pictured perfectly, reminding Adam of when she had compared Insticas—like Adam—with mindless beasts.

Adam turned to the view of the cave and whistled a long note between his teeth. “Wow. Well now, what did I say?”

“Something about not being able to see shit yet?” Emily’s cramped voice came from somewhere lower, near the statue’s armpit.

“Oh, right.” Adam bent down and held out his hand to help. As if bitten by a snake, he hastily pulled it back again and reached for one of his unlit torches instead. Emily had always been adamant about not wanting to be touched. Of course, the two of them had experienced some… exceptions to this rule ever since they had ended up in the Realm of Remembrance together. However, after their ‘incident’ in the Green Hare—the all-too-comfortable inn within the memory of Ziecherhein—he was following the rule as if it were a holy law.

He held out the unlit torch. After setting his feet right, he pulled her up as well.

She sighed and brushed a lock of her wet chestnut hair from her face. “Phew, finally! So, where did your ‘hunch’ take us this—” Her orange eyes widened. “Oh wow.”

Judging by what was visible in the scarce light, the cave was even more massive than he’d thought. Between the enormous thorned coils of dead Overgrowth, fallen rubble, and general destruction, ominous shapes of huge statues stuck out in the darkness. The silhouette of Rüdeger, the old monk, was instantly recognisable. The vile man’s crooked back and the vines which hung from his hands were illuminated by luminous stalactites.

Among the forest of stalactites that hung from the ceiling, several massive cone-shaped ones had been carved into works of art. Their intricate hieroglyphs spread a dim glow. Like windows into other worlds, wide reflective surfaces carved into the stalactites showed memories.

As the only light sources in the cave, they drew Adam’s gaze like a moth to a flame. As always, Adam immediately searched the glimpses of Caine’s memories for any sign of his missing child and what was going on in the real world. Adam gasped when he saw his own face in one of the waterfalls… maddened by rage.

It was a memory from Caine’s point of view. With an outstretched hand, Caine was firing a green electric Invocation at Adam, who blocked it with crossed arms. Covered in blood, Adam roared soundlessly as he pushed back and paced on unrelentingly. Like an unstoppable force of nature. Those eyes almost made the current Adam choke. Red-rimmed, with pupils narrowed in rage, fixated on Caine.

Many other reflective surfaces showed different memories, with the oldest memories being placed at the highest, broadest parts of the stalactite. One showed how a twenty-year-old Caine clipped the translucent wire of a toy snake on the back of Adam’s coat. Caine’s point of view shook with laughter as a startled Adam jumped up and mowed his arms around him to fend off the toymurderous snake which was following him, being tied to him by the string.

Another memory showed Caine and Adam at a bar. It was the night in which Adam had found out that Abigail, his girlfriend at the time, had cheated on him. Adam’s head drooped as he stared morosely at his untouched drink. Meanwhile, Caine had been cracking jokes and after a few prods with his elbow, a small smile appeared on the corners of Adam’s mouth. Caine cheered in victory, almost falling from his bar stool, prompting Adam to laugh even louder. The deeper pools in the cascade showed even older memories, like how Caine had taught Adam to read using a big parchment book about Aves.

Adam’s gaze turned back, to how his own face looked at his former friend with murderous fury. A big vein pulsed on his forehead. He knew what had come next: he’d punched his lifelong and innocent friend in the face. Earlier, Adam had entered Caine’s house and frightened his family. He’d even altered Caine’s memories from within the Realm by writing in that book in the library of one of the Nodes.

But I couldn’t have known! Adam tried to convince himself. None of us knew who had actually planned—

After the first glance at another waterfall, with a memory of Adam, Caine, and Emily tightly bound in thorned vines, Adam instantly looked away. As if Caine’s mind followed the exact same steps as Adam’s, this waterfall and its cascading pools to his right showed haunting images of the man who Adam least wanted to think about. Although the cocktail of suppressed emotions wanted to claw up from Adam’s stomach and somehow even longed to see the blond, screaming figure in control of the Overgrowth, Adam wasn’t ready yet. He tried to push the memories down, but they bobbed up in his consciousness like a body floating in a bog.

Oliver.

Since Adam’s childhood, Oliver had been the person he could turn to when anything went wrong. Who would grumble, as always, but selflessly support Adam no matter what. Adam had read somewhere that those closest to you could hurt you the deepest. Well, now that Oliver himself had tried to force Emily to love him and used the Taint to turn Adam against his friends, a place of comfort in Adam’s life had turned into an open wound that showed no sign of healing. The world was colder and darker now.

Literally, when counting Caine’s Realm of Remembrance.

Beside Adam, Emily looked away from the waterfall as well. She smiled and appeared to search the cave. However, from her vacant glance and tightened jaw, Adam knew she was feeling it too.

Adam coughed. “So, err, this cave. I was hoping for a variant of a Node, but it doesn’t seem like it.” Mentally, he pushed the bog body back down again. Yes, everything was totally fine; nothing wrong at all.

Emily blinked and looked back at him. “Yeah, with the lack of pyramids and gigantic monsters on the ceiling who like to pull up your worst traumas and all.”

Don’t think I’d need one of those at the moment. “Probably a connection point of tunnels leading to Nodes.” He raised his torch. From the remains of stone arches and splintered tree trunks, he could tell there used to be many pathways to the openings of collapsed tunnels in the walls at the sides of the cave. None of them seemed usable. “Maybe they used to lead to memories about the Starwing Order, with all these statues around here. With what’s left, I can’t really say for sure, though.”

Emily gazed at the side of the cave with a hollow look in her eyes. “All this destruction in Caine’s Realm... Do you think that means Caine is forgetting?”

Adam swallowed and nodded slowly. “I’m not sure if it’s happening because we’ve destroyed the Roots, and false memories caused by the Taint are being removed. Or… whether the Realm has become too unstable since the Overgrowth was so interwoven with the Realm. I mean, we can see the damage all around us.”

The corner of Emily’s mouth spasmed in annoyance. “Well, we had no choice, right? We would’ve been swarmed by Roots if we hadn’t done it!”

“I know, I know.” Adam blinked a couple of times. “Or do you think someone outside the Realm is causing the Realm to crumble?”

Emily frowned. “Well if Ol—I mean, he would use the Taint on Caine again, wouldn’t we see fresh Overgrowth and Roots everywhere?”

“Well, if these Nodes held knowledge about the Starwing Order, sensitive knowledge, I can imagine a certain someone who doesn’t want that to reach the Penduli. Or… it may mean Caine is doing worse than we thought, for his Realm to be crumbling.”

“But we can’t—”

Suddenly, a deep rumble echoed through the vast space. Stalactites rained down as the strongest quake Adam had seen so far made the whole cave quiver. From high up, a whale-sized trunk of the Overgrowth tumbled down and broke the head of one of the huge statues. Beneath his feet, Osterhild’s statue trembled and began to wobble.

“We need to go, NOW!” Adam yelled.