Chapter 56 – A Desire of Warmth

Adam was in a comfortable blur of talking, laughing, and play-fighting with Emily. All intention of listening to Caine faded in the background as he lost himself in those enchanting orange eyes behind the mask. The welcome scents of liquors, fruit juices, and roasted snacks beckoned as the minstrel group played their merry tunes. All around them, the masked people danced without restraint. Despite the war, they seemed determined to enjoy themselves, to forget all troubles for just one evening. Adam couldn’t say he minded joining them.

The music changed into a wild tune, initiating a traditional dance. All over the Green Hare, people hastily searched for a partner. Three guys wrestled among themselves in their attempt to be the first to ask a pretty lady. A sweet pair of elderly men gave each other a warm hug before entering the starting pose; they held one hand while keeping the other on their own back. Emily capitalised on Adam’s moment of distraction to sneak under his arm and match up with a random lad. She stuck her tongue out at Adam. Hot blood rose to Adam’s cheeks as he laughed. A challenge, eh? Don’t worry, I’ll get you. Adam quickly found a lady to dance with.

The brown-haired woman lacked any remarkable features and wore a simple black cloak and blue mask. When she bowed in the exact way that Caine would’ve initiated a dance, Adam was grimly reminded of the Vault’s creepy guards. People whom Caine barely remembered, so they seemed oddly undetailed and behaved the way Caine expected them to.

When the music started, Adam led her through the dance nonetheless. Even though it had been years, his rusty limbs had somehow remembered the claps, kicks, and swirling motions well enough. However, all he could think about was Emily. The way she smiled and the way she tickled him stirred something inside of him.

After he bowed at the lady he had danced with, and everyone hastily searched for new partners, he dashed towards Emily. However, she had quickly found someone else and raised her chin at Adam in a challenging way.

Adam danced, bowed, and found new dancing partners, all the while getting closer to Emily. Deep beats of his heart sent waves of Inner Fire through his veins. His body felt hot as a furnace. One lady held his wrist and stared in shock as she felt his skin, but Adam hardly noticed. An old desire was flaring up within him. Like a hunt, like an inferno, like hunger and passion.

Emily moved to the right, but Adam deftly stepped around and in front of her. She opened her orange eyes wide in surprise and smiled radiantly.

Adam bowed, a true paragon of sophistication, and held out his hand. “May I have this dance, my lady?”

Emily accepted with a curtsey. Just when Adam reached out for her hand, she stepped forward and tickled him again. They laughed until they ended up in a hug, gently moving to the music.

The world around Adam seemed to disappear as all he felt, all he knew, was the woman in front of him. A woman who swayed her hips to the beat of the music. Whose soft breath kissed Adam’s cheek. A tingle ran down Adam’s spine. He laid his hands on her back and felt how her muscles tensed up and relaxed.

Gently, she moved his head to the side and whispered in his ear.

“I couldn’t hear you,” Adam teased softly.

“Come closer, then,” Emily said with a raspy edge in her voice.

Her fingers deftly worked his mask up. Orange eyes smouldered as she smiled at him, raising one corner of her mouth mischievously. Gradually, she came closer, running her fingers through the hair on the back of Adam’s head. Adam felt her warm breath on his mouth as he bent forwards.

A thought shot through his mind, as if a rational part of him had been desperately screaming at him while he couldn’t hear it: he was married.

Adam gasped as if ice water was splashed over his face. Wide-eyed, he moved his head away from Emily’s lips at the last moment. The Crimson Urges used the Inner Fire in his veins to try and pull his head back, like white-hot tentacles inside his own flesh. His left heart beat like crazy as overwhelming desire pushed, pulled, and tore at the fabric of his being to kiss her, but he couldn’t.

Adam shivered. “I want to, so badly, but I am married. Sorry, I can’t do this.”

Emily’s eyes stared at him in confusion. “Huh, but I thought, but you just…” Briefly, a veil of hurt seemed to fall over her eyes, before they went cold and hard. “Fine then,” she bit off the words with ice in her voice. She stomped away and disappeared into the crowd.

Adam wanted to hit himself. Here I go, betraying her trust. Just another piece of shit that played with her heartstrings.

Adam’s heartbeat turned erratic. He squeezed his eyes shut as the Crimson Urges used the Inner Fire in his veins to turn his head to the place where she had left him. It pulled at his flesh like the strings of a puppeteer that came from within. His shoulders slumped as a deep sense of powerlessness and futility washed over him. I messed up all hope to ever find love again. Adam heard himself think. I… No! This is not what I believe!

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Adam groaned, struggling to gain back control as waves of headache battered the sides of his head. His heart screeched the name of Schultora and showered him with visions of the consequences of his actions. Despite the veins in his legs that tried to move him toward Emily, like iron wires that tore at his muscles, he struggled in the opposite direction.

----------------------------------------

Adam sat on a lone chair, resting his masked head against a wall. His heart had stopped its assault, making him feel strangely lifeless and cold. The brief moment with Emily, which he had taken from himself, underlined the endless void his life had become; a laughable shadow of what it used to be.

The old craving for a stiff drink came up as he valiantly tried to justify his own actions. That it was merely the Crimson Urges seducing him and that he was married. Even if it was to someone who couldn’t even remember him, who was happy with someone else. He sank even deeper into his chair as the hole of guilt grew. Who am I kidding? I can’t even rely on my own memories while the Crimson Urges are fighting for control. And I mess up my only chances of happiness. Everywhere around him, people were having fun, which only made him feel more alone.

Then, in the distance, he noticed a stunning woman with long blonde curls sitting by herself at a table. She wore the mask of a skeletal deer, but it would take more than that before Adam wouldn’t recognize his own wife.

Adam’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. How? Did Caine know Catherine before I did? Adam straightened and his heartbeat rose. He barely noticed how hot blood warmed him as the gears in his head started spinning again. She must’ve been a younger version of Cath, based on what Caine knew about this period of her life. Probably, since the Nodes were connected to each other, this version was based on the sickening amount of information in the library about her.

Although Adam couldn’t see them, his eyes swivelled in the direction of Oliver, Caine, and Agatha. All the endless questions he had about Catherine during the long stay in the Realm came back to him. Had she been cheating on him from the beginning? Had Caine altered her memory, or had she done it willingly? Had she even loved Adam at some point?

Was Eric his son, or Caine’s?

Adam’s hands shivered in the aching need to see her. She was right there. He could feel the warmth of his trusted wife again, he could have certainty, a foundation in his quagmire of doubt. The answers may be right there.

Adam clenched his hands into fists in anticipation, the deep necessity to protect his kin. To be there for Eric, to save him from whatever sorcery they had put him through. I owe this to them. Adam puffed out his cheeks and made his way towards Catherine. The guests of the Green Hare chatted happily around him.

And the mighty Fist of Gotterburg gathered all his courage to greet his own wife with an opening sentence. He prepared all his combat prowess in case she kicked the champion in his stomach. Again. Our hero pondered where exactly he went wrong in his life to end up in this rather peculiar position.

Catherine sat at her table, wearing an elegant black dress with a split at the side. With a casual stroll, not too bold, not too uncaring, Adam walked towards her. “Hey! You’re Catherine, right? Nice to see you again.”

Catherine looked up with a slightly wary expression, squinting up at him through her mask of a skeletal deer. “Hello, have we met?” she asked, her slight eastern accent made her vowels just a tad longer.

Adam lifted his mask for just a moment and smiled. “Yes, it’s Adam!” He tried to remember any taverns within Ziecherhein that Catherine had mentioned, but couldn’t remember any. “We met at the jewellery fair around here, don’t you remember?”

Her eyes scanned him up and down, although her wariness had lessened a bit. “Really? Oh sorry, I can’t recall. What did we talk about?”

Adam laughed. “Didn’t I make a good impression?” He quickly remembered what she would wear to such an occasion, like the intricate necklace she’d told him about hundreds of times. “I complimented you on a necklace in the shape of wings, composed of interwoven bands of different materials. You explained you made it to earn your next rank within the guild of silversmiths. Silver, meteorite, and the bone of a Wraith, am I correct?” He saw Catherine smile at him, tension leaving her face. He remembered how she had always complained about pious traditions within the guild. “Too bad you just had the involve the owls in its design.”

Catherine chuckled, raising her long fingers to her mouth. She always had a pretty laugh, civilized yet joyful. Adam felt warm to hear the trusty sound again. Huh, if you’re meeting someone it sure helps if you’ve already known her for years. “Oh, finally! Someone who understands!” she exclaimed. “I tried to implement the religious theme as subtly as I could, but my master wouldn’t let it go. ‘We must always honour the Lord in our work.’ ” She rolled her eyes and sighed deeply.

Adam grimly remembered the plots of Zachalynn and her council. “Trust me, I know the feeling.”

Catherine took her mask off and tidied her long hair. Although it was undoubtedly her, her face looked strangely different. Her lips were fuller, her skin lacked any imperfections and her nose was less pronounced. Just like the statue on the pyramid in her Node. However, I’m afraid I have to disappoint you.”

Adam felt his jaw tense up. She’s already with Caine! She has a boyfriend, she—

She raised three fingers. “It was silver, meteorite, and shell of a whaleturtle. I do hope a surprising connoisseur like you can forgive my choice of cheap materials?”

Adam laughed in secret relief and shook his head. Caine must’ve remembered that wrong. “Tsk, tsk, merely the cost of twenty moose for a necklace, disappointing indeed. Might I acquire a drink for a clearly impoverished lady?”

She laughed softly and sat back. Following the etiquette of the higher class, she raised her empty glass, moved her shoulders ever so slightly and lifted her chin at him. “You might.” With the subtle grace of a dancer, she crossed one of her long legs over the other.

However, for just a second, the split at the side of her dress revealed a small tattoo on her thigh: a flower with two butterflies. Adam blinked; he was dead sure she never had a tattoo. Gears in his head immediately started turning, but he quickly looked up at her again. With a glint in her eye, she slowly raised an eyebrow, clearly having seen him look at her legs. “Don’t make me wait too long…” she teased and took a sip of her drink.

Adam nodded with a smile before he moved through the crowd in the direction of the bar. His steps had a relaxed spring of excitement in them. It’s her, it’s really her! And we can joke just as well as we used to! Plus, she’d never accept a drink from me if she was already with Caine at the time. He smiled broadly, wondering how that tattoo could’ve gotten there.

“Adam?! No way, is that you?” an all too familiar voice said right beside him.