The bulk of the Silver Order was engaged in the laborious task of dismantling their temporary fortifications and breaking down numerous tents and mobile storage depots a few leagues back from the battlegrounds. I was once again in the lead of our party, though I had no idea where the heck I was supposed to go. Straight through the camp seemed to be the best choice, however. There are so many more people here, each with their own unknowable motivations…

“Didn’t we just set these tents up?” one soldier shouted in exasperation as we neared their work area.

An older soldier responded swiftly by smacking him in the back of the head. “Be glad that’s all we had to do!” he retorted firmly.

A third soldier, sitting atop a barrel, added his lamentations. “More walking, just back the way we came…! What I wouldn’t do for a horse!”

“Anything but your damn job! Now quit your…” The older soldier straightened before bowing awkwardly. “Chosen One!”

“That’s a little too fancy right now, don’t you think?” I replied, trying to hide my nervousness. “No need for unnecessary calisthenics...”

“We have nothing but respect for you, Captain!” The barrel lounger hopped down with a swift salute. “So we better show it!”

“How about if I say at ease?” I wish those words would work on me.

The first soldier pulled out the center pole of a nearby tent, dropping it to the ground. “Works for me!”

This is just a normal conversation with some people doing their job. They’re not hidden assassins, demons in disguise, or spies for another invisible enemy, right? They weren’t imbued with amity, so they didn’t appear on my internal radar. Or were they somehow able to hide in the shadows? They were all visibly armed, and I felt my eyes drawn to all the places where they might have hidden some extras.

Mentally trying to shrug off my growing anxiety about everyone around us, I got to the point. “Sorry to disturb your work. We’ll get out of your hair if you let me know where I could find Captain Corwin.”

“He’s talking with the quartermaster,” the oldest soldier pointed to the right. “Turn right at that stack of barrels. You can’t miss him.”

“Oh…! Speaking of hair…” the first one clasped his hands together, a hopeful look emerging on his weathered features.

I took a step back. “What about it?”

“We heard… your hair is blessed. If we could just touch it once…!”

“It’s not…” It grows back on its own at an incredible rate. “I mean—”

“Gentlemen,” Relias addressed them quite cheerfully. “I would be more than happy to bestow blessings upon you.”

Clearly disappointed, the three shared a long look before eventually mumbling their assent. As Relias raised his hand in benediction, three golden circles flared about their feet, bathing their countenance in a warm golden light. “May Euphridia’s blessing keep you safe and secure, and may her will guide you to fulfill your Purpose.”

“Thank you, Your Holiness,” the oldest said lamely with a perfunctory bow.

Relias took hold of my forearm, leading me away before replying over his shoulder, “No thanks is needed, good sirs. Your work is hard, and I am privileged to share such joyful gifts with you.”

“Thank you…” I exhaled slowly once we were out of earshot.

“Unfortunately, that will not be the last time you encounter such selfish requests. I will do my best to shield you from them,” he assured me.

“That’s very kind…” I responded slowly. “But… you can let go of my arm now.”

He winced. “I did it again… didn’t I? I’m terribly sorry.”

“You… really miss her, don’t you?”

He didn’t respond immediately, struggling with my question’s weight. The expression that finally settled on his face would haunt me for weeks to come. His eyes were dim and distant, as if he had lost a part of his soul, with no possible hope for its return. His furrowed brow seemed heavy, and his quivering lips betrayed his continued inner turmoil. When he finally exhaled, his gentle mask returned, though traces of sadness lingered. “Yes,” he replied, his voice tinged with sorrow. “I do.”

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She wouldn’t want you to suffer like this, Your Holiness. She would want you to move on with your life, living it to its fullest. However, the mentally practiced words wouldn’t come out; stuck in my throat as it constricted painfully. Finally succumbing to a now full-blown tsunami of internal remorse, I made a truly rash decision.

I hugged him.

Why am I doing this? Instinct? Pity? Because he was one of the party? To thank him for saving me earlier? For helping with negotiations? Because I… had been worried about him?

Maybe I just really needed a hug at that moment, too.

He, in turn, hugged me back tightly. It was an embrace full of desperation, with silent sobs trembling throughout his entire body, though moderately muted by the armor and cloak I was wearing. I still could hear his unsteady breathing, however, acting as a soft plea not to let go just yet.

And then, almost everyone in that makeshift encampment suddenly had nothing better to do than to clap and cheer. Some even whistled. One particular fan let out a long, drawn-out whoop straight from a 90s sitcom.

How inappropriate! Read the room, people! “I probably shouldn’t have—”

“Thank you for being a stalwart source of comfort, Rae,” he pulled away slowly with a sad smile.

Well…maybe he hadn’t misunderstood my questionable intentions, at least. “You’re welcome.”

He folded his hands before himself, resting them on his vestments. “After we speak with Captain Corwin, why don’t we sit down and have that talk we’ve been—”

“I’m first.” Nora marched directly between us, snapping her fingers as she twirled on her heels to face me. “Private girl talk, round two.”

I didn’t get a chance to delay or decline since she abruptly walked off to commandeer a nearby tent from the three laboring soldiers.

“Ah… She’s been quite insistent that she speak with you urgently… Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Relias inquired.

“Eventually,” I sighed, watching her practically scold the trio. I'm next.

“You can take it down after we leave,” she instructed. “But make sure no one disturbs us!”

“Yes, Lady Nora,” the oldest soldier saluted with a slight, knowing smirk. I guess it’s possible Nora made some friends in my absence…

I followed Nora dejectedly to the canvas tent, surprised that she held the flap open for me to enter first. “You know, it’s not like this thing is soundproof or—”

“Sonum prohibens,” she interrupted, gripping the tent fabric between her hands for a moment before dropping it behind her. “Wrong about that now, too.”

“Ground rules!” I shouted, feeling my temper rise. “You’re antagonizing on purpose!”

Nora bit her lip, absently tossing her obedient ball of light behind her to light up the confines of our future battleground. “Point taken. Ground rules.”

“No antagonizing,” I reiterated.

“No magic,” she added.

I scratched my cheek. “No physical violence.”

“No yelling, no interrupting, and no personal attacks.”

I paused on that last one, wondering how she’d avoid breaking that one. “Alright…”

“I get to speak first.”

“Fine.” I plopped down on the ground and sighed. “Go on.”

“You willfully abandoned the party, Rae! One moment, you’re telling us to stop the line and speak up when there’s a concern, and the next, you run off without saying a word! What the heck were you thinking?!”

Staring at the ground before me, I waited for her to continue, but apparently, the question was not rhetorical.

“Well?” she prompted again.

“I wasn’t in any serious danger… or so I thought,” I muttered. “I was complying with his orders, so…” I stopped and shrugged.

Nora’s eyes flashed dangerously. “He told you to surrender, and you decided to go along with it? Without saying anything to us?”

Pulling my knees to my chest, I held onto my legs tightly. “You wouldn’t have let me do it.”

“You’re damn straight we wouldn’t!

With a giant huff, I looked up at her. “See? That’s exactly why I didn’t say anything. I’m the leader! I don’t get the luxury of complaining about the boss’s decisions when the team doesn't like it! I’m the one with the shitty scenario who has to decide what’s best for everyone! So, I decided to surrender. You can disagree with it all you’d like, but we’re all still alive in the end, so it wasn’t the wrong one.”

Nora’s eyes narrowed as she pointed a crooked finger at my nose. “You got lucky. That’s all this is. You never told anyone he ordered you to surrender. What if they locked you up at the fort? Handed you over to the demons? What if they killed you, Rae? Self-sacrifice is stupid, especially when you didn’t even weigh your risks or options first!” Low blow, using his dying words!

“I did,” I muttered darkly. “If you got away, you’d still be alive and free. And if you didn’t, well, I would have just done whatever was necessary for you to get away, at the very least.”

“Me?” Nora paused, tilting her head. “Why me, specifically?”

“You’re the only one other than me who knows about the problems with Naught. You’re smart; you’d have figured out how to get to Relias. In the end, that’s all that matters, isn’t it?”

Nora’s lips twisted, revealing an angry canine. “That’s not the only thing that matters!” she yelled. “You can’t make these life-altering decisions on your own!” We need you alive! What’s the point of saving the world if you’re not going to be in it? That’s not the world I want to save!”

As if I have a chance to make it out alive… I snorted, turning my head away as I willed my tears to go back up from where they came from. The whole world will be coming for me any minute now...

She slammed her staff into the ground. “You took an unacceptable risk! Start thinking about your own safety first!”

“Fine.”

“No.” She sat in front of me. “Not fine. You never mean it. You say that when…” she stopped, looking at my hands. “What else are you hiding?”

Inhaling with a shudder, I went back to desperately clinging to my knees, trying to soothe myself with a gentle rocking motion. “He knows I’m here.”

“Who?”

“Him!” I sobbed in a broken whisper. “He knows! He doesn’t know where I am, but he knows I’m here, and I’m terrified!”