Later that same day, we regrouped, thanked Father Baram for his hospitality, and headed into the nearby town. As we approached, I noticed a thick, black cord driven into the ground in the exact center of the dirt road, dividing it into two lanes. Just outside the town’s front gate sat two small, identical desks with small stools tucked under them. A small banner strung between them read ‘Customs/Hybrid Control - Please Wait Here.’
“What’s all this?” Nora asked as she kicked the cord that ran under the banner.
“Mmm… a creative solution,” Aleph laughed, though little humor was in it. “You’ll see.”
We made our way to the desks and waited. A female rabbit hybrid skittered out of a nearby farmhouse with a charcoal stick and a few sheets of parchment. “Welcome, welcome! Which town are you planning on visiting today?”
I looked around, but I only saw one town. “Um… this one?”
“Northwick?” she pointed to the side of the rope she was on. “Or Southwick?”
“Aren’t they the same thing?”
“Oh my, no! Completely separate! See?” She pointed to the rope that continued through the tiny town.
“But…”
“Fullbloods may visit either town whenever they wish. However…”... " She glanced at Aleph and Tetora apologetically. “Please tell me your intended destination along with an estimated departure time, rounded to the nearest hour.”
“I wish to visit Northwick, estimated departure being one hour from application approval,” Aleph murmured.
“Southwick, one hour.” Tetora rolled his eyes.
The rabbit jotted down some details with her charcoal stick. “Do you verbally agree not to cross the line at any time during your visit?” Was that figuratively, literally, or both?
“Yes,” Aleph and Tetora said simultaneously, with a note of irritation.
“Please remember,” the rabbit looked at them with dull eyes. “If an inspector stops you, the rule is–”
“Only twenty hybrids or fewer to congregate in any one location,” Tetora snapped angrily.
“Church is the only exclusion,” she added as if she read my thoughts about yesterday’s service. “And remember, the rope divides these two completely separate towns!”
“What an asinine rule…” Nora shook her head.
The rabbit hybrid had Aleph and Tetora sign their names onto two parchments. “Your respective applications will be processed shortly. In the meantime…” She smiled at us sweetly as she set one sheet on each desk. “May I interest you in any duty-free specialty purchases?”
“Duty-free... specialty purchases?” I asked curiously.
“Well, confidentially… Northwick here has the best produce, so I suggest that you stock up with–”
“Don’t listen to that miscreant!” Another female rabbit, looking for all the world to be her identical twin, save for lighter hair and ears, came bounding out of another farmhouse on the south side of the rope. “Southwick’s vegetables can’t be beaten!” She quickly picked up the sheet the other rabbit hybrid had placed on the desk nearest her.
“Well, now, I see you finally decided to start the day, Lulu,” the first rabbit remarked.
“I was just delaying having to talk with you until the last possible second, Lala,” the other responded cooly.
“Weren’t you two sitting together in church yesterday?” Nora asked suspiciously.
“That’s different!” Lulu of Southwick retorted. “Business is business!” They then eyed each other menacingly.
“Northwick is famous for its juicy carrots!” Lala yelled.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
“Southwick’s known for its flavorful potatoes!” Lulu replied.
Lala puffed out her chest and pointed at us dramatically. “Don’t come crying to me if you forget to purchase Northwick’s white onions!”
Lulu waved her arms to catch our attention. “Lettuce know what you want in your salad!”
Lala stopped and gave Lulu a withering look. “You’re resorting to vegetable puns now?”
“You started it with the line about crying over onions!” Lulu snapped.
“Oh, that was unintentional,” Lala admitted. “Unlike you, I have standards.”
Aleph cleared his throat loudly. “We’ll be ordering from both towns today.”
“Oh, well, why didn’t you say so?” Lulu sighed, her bunny ears collapsing to the side of her head. She then handed the charcoal stick and a paper order form to Aleph.
“It was fun while it lasted.” Lala exhaled as she also went lop-eared, giving Tetora the similar items she held.
“Tough times?” Nora asked, her eyes gleaming from witnessing the exchange.
“You’re the first customers we’ve had in weeks,” Lala affirmed. “As merchants, it’s a little hard for us to stay on our game if we don’t have some sort of frivolous rivalry.” Merchants? One of them was a customs agent just a moment ago! But I guess it paid off, literally. What a way to engage captive customers.
Lulu nodded. “We like to spice things up.”
“Speaking of spices…” Lala grinned. “I just imported some fresh thyme and sage from the middle of nowhere that might interest you!”
“Hey! I gave that to you because you said you’d cook for Mum tonight!” Lulu huffed. “You can’t sell that!”
“Well... what about the lavender?”
I turned to Aleph. “That could be useful…” I tried to sound only somewhat committed to the idea because I didn’t want to drive the price up. I liked the idea of smelling something pleasant for once while on the road.
“Fifty percent to me,” Lulu demanded, eyeing me up.
“Thirty-five.” Lala countered.
“Fifty percent, and I don’t tell Mum about your ‘walking companion.’”
“Y-you know about Rex and me?” Lala stammered, rubbing at her right rabbit ear.
“Everyone knows about you two! Except mum, for now.”
“Fine, deal! Just don’t say anything yet! I don’t want her scaring him off.”
Nora let out a suppressed giggle, and the two rabbits turned towards her, their faces flushed with embarrassment. “Sorry,” Nora smirked, “But it’s just nice to see that some things stay the same everywhere you go. Like how everyone’s always trying to keep secrets from their moms.” She then kicked her foot into the dirt a little. “I bet this Rex is probably good-looking, right? I’m going to ask around about him! Of course… I hope I don’t run into your mother and inadvertently say something… sensitive.”
Lulu and Lala looked at each other for a moment, and Lala sighed with a slightly sour look spreading across her face. “How would you like our ‘friends don’t snitch’ discount today?”
“How very generous! Forget about Rex!” Nora beamed as I held in a snicker.
“Ms. Lala and Ms. Lulu,” Aleph addressed them in a tone far more serious than their covenant names asked for. “There are some additional items we are looking for that do not seem to be on the list, but I think you may have them in stock.”
“Oh?” Lala asked.
“Do you have a blacksmith in the town?” Aleph asked.
“We do,” Lulu confirmed. “But we’re not able to take custom orders right now.”
“This is more of something they might remove rather than create.” He was dancing around his request; that much was for certain.
“Oh…” Lulu recognized what he was looking for. “We don’t have the keys to any, though.”
“That’s alright.”
“Two sets?” Lulu wrinkled her nose.
“Yes.”
“You didn’t get them from us, understand?”
“Of course not.” Aleph agreed.
Lala pointed at us humans dramatically. “You all need to agree with that statement.”
We all promised not to tell anyone we were getting black-market goods from them. I was concerned about what they were asking for, but it was evident by the way they refused to make eye contact that no one wanted to talk about it any further. Lala and Lulu looked over the rest of their respective parts of the orders.
“Looks like you ordered down the middle,” Lala noted. “That makes it easier. It’ll take about half an hour to round everything up. Why don’t you look around the towns while you wait? Your applications have been approved.” I wondered if they would have been denied if we hadn’t bought anything. Of course, we could have just walked around the desolate town, so everything was that much more ridiculous.
As we headed in, I kicked a clod of dirt in the road. “If stupidity like this keeps up, they will need an Eastwick and a Westwick!”
Walking on the other side of the rope from me, Aleph cleared his throat and pointed at a nearby sign that read, ‘Under Construction - Eastwick Farms’.