“Psst!” Nora hissed in my ear the next day, jolting me out of blissful, dreamless slumber.
“Too early!” Even though I had no idea what time of day it was, I pulled the blankets over my head to solidify my stance on the issue. It had been a long time since I had slept in a bed, and I was determined to enjoy every possible minute.
“It’s important!” she whispered urgently. Why was she whispering? Wasn’t it just the two of us in here?
I groaned and sat up, flipping the covers down in our shared room within the church. “What is it now?” Someday, I’ll wake up in my real bed, and it will be another lazy Saturday afternoon where no one expects anything of me.
“Read this!” Nora shoved a folded, somewhat tattered scrap of striated papyrus before my face. I yawned, snatched the paper rather ungraciously, and unfolded it. At first, it appeared blank, but then it flashed with a gold sheen before distinct, typed words began to ripple on the surface.
> CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE - This document is intended only for the person(s) named in the message header and is protected from unauthorized discovery through the use of Smart-Gene™ biodegrading ink. Unless otherwise indicated, it contains information that is confidential, privileged and/or exempt from disclosure under applicable law. This document and parts thereof must not be shared, reproduced, or copied without CUP's written permission, and contents thereof must not be imparted to a third party nor be used for any unauthorized purpose.
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> To: Eleanora Beatrice Perez and Rachel Emily Smith
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> From: Clare Mercure (Manager, Human Resources, Cooperative Universal Publishing)
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> RE: Status Update Received (Confidential)
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> Thank you for sharing your recent status update from Location=Speranza_Wastelands_North_Vicus_Church_009 via Rachel’s ‘church prayer’. I am glad to hear that despite recent events, you both have arrived on-site safely.
>
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>
> For future reference, please note that bringing anachronistic and/or prohibited items (e.g., journals that are bound with synthetic leather, with stitched binding using synthetic thread, containing recycled cotton paper and pens of ball-point configuration with plastic shafts and oil-based ink) on-site is against company policy. Given the extenuating circumstances leading up to this policy violation, human resources will take no action and considers the matter closed. However, please be sure to secure these items safely on your person at all times and do not impart them to a third party or use them for any unauthorized purpose while on-site. Authorized purpose includes and is limited to ‘taking notes and drawing sketches for work-related tasks as authorized under CUP’s acceptable use policy’ and ‘serving as a secured, interdimensional mailbox for receiving confidential communications from CUP’.
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> The Human Resources Department at CUP is committed to creating and maintaining a safe work environment for all of its employees, including eliminating potential hazards whenever possible. This letter informs you that Speranza_Current_Ambient_Animus_Quality_Index=150 (Elevated: Unhealthy for Sensitive Groups). I strongly recommend you try to reduce ambient animus at your on-site location. There may be multiple processes available to you in order to do this, however, I request that you take the following actions as soon as you are able:
>
> * Locate your local NAUGHT terminal (ID: Speranza01, Location: Unknown, Primary Network Interface Status: Link Disconnected, Last Up: 2786 days ago)
> * You may need assistance from local sentient beings in order to locate your local NAUGHT terminal.
> * Do not discuss confidential information about NAUGHT with any unauthorized party as per the terms of your signed non-disclosure agreement.
> * Use corporate-approved phrases to express what you are looking for, such as ‘the birthplace of all creation’.
>
> * Perform a manual reboot of the local NAUGHT terminal in order to update the local instance of NAUGHT.
> * Critical updates will run automatically upon successful reboot.
> * Do not interrupt these critical updates under any circumstances.
> * Do not otherwise interact with the NAUGHT terminal. Only NAUGHT-certified content creators are to access NAUGHT systems.
> * Failure to follow all NAUGHT instructions may result in any number of unintended consequences.
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> Once the local instance of NAUGHT is updated, a designated member of management will contact you directly with further instructions via primary communication methods.
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> In the meantime, you may continue to send work-related informational inquiries to me via ‘church prayer’ and I will assist you as best as I am able. I also wish to inform you that I have forwarded Rachel's most recent ‘church prayer’ request to “let us come home please” to Administration for further consideration and will advise you of any subsequent decisions via ‘interdimensional letter’. Please note that ‘church prayer’ and ‘interdimensional letter’ are considered secondary communication channels and may be unreliable at times.
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> Please confirm receipt of this message via ‘church prayer’ ASAP. I look forward to hearing from you.
>
>
>
> Cc:
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> Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
>
>
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> Corporate Compliance - Case No. BDT53-RES007-EBPXXX
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> Employee file(s)
I struggled to read the corporate jargon several times. “What the…”
“It’s from Clare, right? You can see the words too?”
I nodded rather dumbly. “Where... did you find this?”
“In my interdimensional mailbox.” She held up her journal.
I didn’t know what to make of the situation or the letter's contents. “Is she helping us... or are we in trouble?”
“Both.” Nora plopped down on the foot of the bed.
“We didn’t do anything wrong!” Prohibited items? It’s not like we knew this was going to happen! And what about what happened to us? I may not have read my employment contract in its entirety, but surely I didn’t agree to all this!
“It’s HR. That’s how it works. But forget about that for now. What do you think NAUGHT stands for?”
“Naught?” It was both a clarifying question and a questionable answer.
“It’s an acronym. NAUGHT. What do you think it means?” Nora asked me again.
“It means nothing!”
“No, it’s definitely something important. Hmmm… This is going to bother me until I figure it out. This is why you define acronyms in writing the first time you use them.”
“It’s a computer, isn’t it? We get blasted for pen and paper, and Eura sets up a computer here?!” How the hell was that fair?!
“Well, how else are you going to publish a web novel? You have to use the right tools for the job.” Nora shrugged. “But I’m not sure if it’s just a computer.”
“...The birthplace of all creation.” I snorted, pointing to what the locals call it. “Where she spun everything from the potential of nothing!”
“It might be even more than that,” Nora frowned.
“What? I was just spouting nonsense!”
“It sounded good, though, right?”
I blinked. “I suppose… But why aren’t you mad about all this?!”
“I’m living the dream! My favorite world with magic but also mysterious other-worldly technology overlaying it…!” Despite Nora’s proclamations that she didn’t like sci-fi, she certainly embraced it when it reared its ugly head.
“It’s all messed up!” It wasn’t supposed to be this way at all.
“I don’t think so. The people we’ve met so far seem nice.”
I paused and reflected for a few moments. “Well… yeah, for the most part.” I discounted the three goons who attacked us. “The people who live here definitely live, laugh, and love.”
“I can’t believe you just referenced that slogan!” Nora laughed with a snort. “You know that’s an ironic insult these days, right?”
“Oh…” But Mama Perez had that very saying on a sign hanging in her kitchen!
“So we reboot the NAUGHT terminal like she said then, right?”
“We have to find it first. But yeah, the ambient animus thing sounds important.” Were we part of a sensitive group? What does that even mean? “Relias probably knows where it is.”
“We could try Aleph too. He seems pretty keen on origin stories.”
I had a strong feeling that talking to him about it would be a waste of time, but I didn’t have any evidence to back that up. “Couldn’t hurt to ask him, I guess.”
Nora’s eyes suddenly flashed. “Maybe we won’t even need to find Relias, then! We’ll go straight to the end of the journey! Reboot and scoot!”
I jumped up, startled. “We have to! He needs our help! And the council...” I said I’d do that, too.
She narrowed her eyes with a slight sneer. “I thought you wanted us to go home?” Oh no, I couldn’t deny it now. The HR lady ratted out my secret prayer!
“I...”
“You better commit to it or commit to quit. You can’t keep vacillating.”
“I’ll do what I said I’d do...” Just no confronting the demon king! We can’t get anywhere near him! We’re not supposed to be here! We promised...
“No more secret wishes behind my back then?”
“Yes,” I replied sullenly.
“Make sure you revise your prayer then, okay? I don’t want to be yeeted back to Earth while in the middle of something important.” I doubted that was a possibility, honestly. The idea that my prayer was forwarded to administration for additional consideration was probably the corporate-approved phrase for ‘request denied.’
I turned my back on her. “Fine...”
Nora decided to accept her win graciously and offered me a proverbial olive branch. “Oh, by the way, that was pretty smart of you. I’m impressed!”
“What do you mean?”
“Praying to Clare. I don’t think I would have thought of that.”
I flinched, feeling like I owed her the truth every now and then. “I didn’t. I addressed my prayer concerns to Eura.”
“Now that’s interesting…” Nora stood up with a bit of an evil smirk on her face. “Well, shall we confirm receipt via church prayer, location equals sanctuary?”
“I guess…” I started to go to the door grudgingly, feeling out of sorts.
“Just don’t mention my most recent policy violation, okay?”
I turned to look back at her. “Uh, what’d you do now?”
“I drew a butt in the journal after reading that request. I couldn’t help it! Some rules are meant to be broken!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I was so glad she was here with me for all this absurdity.