Despite Balor’s brash attitude, I didn’t want word to get out to everyone about his recent affliction. Just imagine the rumors about a holy knight succumbing to animus overload! But it has happened too many times now, hasn’t it? ... Should I tell Relias?

I’d have to talk to him alone, where no one else could overhear. A shiver of squeamishness hit me in the back of the neck over that consideration. Mother Sorine could handle Balor. Relias… is busy right now… The problem is resolved, right?

The mental excuses kept coming, each more enticing than the last, as I returned to the wooden pavilion.

Tetora’s eyes gleamed. “What happened?”

“How do you know—”

“Your face,” Tetora, Vernie, and Nora replied as if they had rehearsed together.

“You also left in a hurry,” Nora added as an afterthought. “I doubt it was just to use the facilities.” I actually did before coming back, thank you very much! Except it wasn’t a facility…

“Where’s Aleph and Relias?” I asked, sidestepping the need to answer.

Vernie pointed off to a small tent across the enemy lines. Former enemy? Either way, I knew it wouldn’t be appropriate to cross the line. Somehow, I had gone from prisoner to a leader of the Blue in the blink of an eye, and I felt it would be insulting to betray their… trust? Why would they put their trust in me so quickly? They should expect me to retaliate! Instead, they put their lives foolishly in my hands.

It was because they thought I was a hero. A good guy who would follow the rules and fix everything, bringing peace and happiness to all who deserved it and punishment to the rest. However, that conceit can only go on for so long. Then they begin to realize you’re not able to do it all… or much… or finally, anything right. That’s why we need to wrap things up here quickly before they realize I’m a fraud.

Pacing with all the grace of an angry ogress, I waited for the two of them to come back.

“I will carefully consider your proposal,” Aleph murmured to Relias as they slowly sauntered toward the pavilion. “I believe there are more pressing matters before us, however…” Aleph’s eyes flickered as they landed on me, and a rather frosty look settled on his features, stopping me in my tracks. I hope Aleph and Nora don’t team up when I get ‘the talk.’

Relias put his arm about Aleph’s… well, not his shoulder exactly, but more about his midback. “I mean you no undue pressure, old friend, but you would be the perfect candidate. Nevertheless, let us return to the urgent matter at hand.” Candidate? For what?

“While we wait for Captain Armand to return, may I talk to you two in private?” I asked cautiously. Even if Aleph is disappointed in me, he would never abandon me.

“I am ever at your disposal, Dear One,” Relias replied as he stepped away from Aleph, bowing deeply.

Aleph didn’t respond but followed us off to the far side of the pavilion, where I briefly reviewed my encounter with Balor.

“You?” Relias seemed startled. “You… purged his overabundance of animus? How?”

“I punched him.” I left off any descriptors, hoping I didn’t appear too pleased with myself.

Relias tilted his head. “What was he feeling when you did it?”

His feeling? Shouldn’t he be asking what I was feeling? Frowning, I considered what I had sensed during our brief connection. “Sad… lost. Like his world was ending, and it was time to go on. But he didn’t want to go; he was tired of fighting with himself. He’s been doing it for a long time now.” Ah, crap. I knew I’d relate to his feelings if I thought about them hard enough… Now, I was sure that despite everything, I felt pity for him. Just a little. Not all that much.

“Fascinating… Would you show me your hand? The one you punched him with?”

My hand? I held out my right hand, and he took it in his, turning my wrist slightly before tracing the scar on my right forearm with his index finger. “Wh-what are you doing?”

“My sincerest apologies!” he dropped my hand abruptly, pulling back in a fluster. “It’s just… you… I feel traces of Euphridia’s blessing in your hand...”

I stared at my hand as I flexed my fingers, but it seemed the same. “I guess… I shook her hand when we first met…. But that didn’t stop it from breaking when I landed on it wrong…”

Aleph finally addressed me. “You broke your wrist?”

“It’s fine now.” I kept my head down. “Anyway… I think Balor’s okay for now, and I’m sure Mother Sorine will know what to do, but what if it happens to him again while I’m not here?”

“It’s a shame about Volker,” Relias replied somewhat bitterly, folding his arms. “Finding a loyal dark mage to counteract outcomes like this is nigh impossible now… I don’t have anyone available to replace him.”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“Wait. Can dark mages prevent animus overload, too? Nora needs to learn how—”

“No. It’s not a matter of prevention… They’re the only ones who can handle a holy knight once they succumb. That’s why I assigned them to the Orders in secret.” He’s more involved in worldly affairs than I had initially given him credit for. I knew you weren’t simply sitting idly by, letting the world destroy itself!

“So, they neutralize them? How?” I asked hopefully, stupidly even.

Relias clasped his hands together, taking a deep breath. “Rae… They kill them- as quickly and as painlessly as possible.”

Overcome by a sudden and profound disbelief, I felt an icy chill crawl across my skin. “No! No, that’s not right! It’s not like they mean for it to happen!”

“That’s all they can do to contain it,” Relias continued with gentle, sorrowful compassion. “Otherwise, they go berserk, killing others indiscriminately.”

“But I was able to…” I gestured vaguely. “I mean… Can’t others do what I did?”

“It would be nice if all amity users had your ability,” Relias conceded. “But unfortunately, only a handful can even begin to understand the concept of identifying and purging animus from another being. Those rare healers are mostly assigned to the Order of the White, where the risk of animus overload is the highest.” So… no knights could do it, either? But I’m not a priest… was this really a blessing from Euphridia?

Aleph, who had remained purposefully aloof, now wore a somber expression, his frostiness giving way to an empathizing sadness. “Being on the front lines in Porta almost guarantees an animus attack from the Demon General’s army,” he explained. “If even one strong holy knight succumbs, everything would be over.”

“So, you’re saying, normally, anyone in animus overload is just killed on sight?” My voice wavered and cracked with disbelief, eliciting some startled responses from the others nearby. Without intervention… that could have been me! How many people has this happened to? How long has it been happening?

Aleph and Relias shared a long, solemn glance.

“It is not the preferred solution, but it is often the only one,” Aleph sighed, pulling me into a trembling hug. “Even if it is someone with no inherent powers, they can still take out an entire village overnight. This is another reason why we meditate, Little Dragon. To stop it before it starts.”

I felt Relias’s hand brush the back of my head lightly while still by Aleph’s gentle embrace. “I promise I’ll talk with Mother Sorine about purging animus. I believe her to be skilled, though if I remember her well, her bedside manner is a bit blunt…”

“Yeah. She tried it with me, purging, I mean,” I found myself sniffling. “Before Volker came for me. But I don’t think she had much luck. I think she’s going to need help.”

Relias lifted his hand from my head. “I promise to do all that I can.”

Captain Armand, his face unreadable, eventually returned to the pavilion and sat, silently signaling he was ready to continue.

Relias cleared his throat and addressed the entire assembly. “In light of the recently revealed circumstances, I respectfully request the esteemed Captain Corwin of the Order of the Silver to grant his approval for the appointment of two healers of the utmost proficiency, handpicked by me, to assist Mother Sorine in the event our gravest apprehensions materialize.”

Captain Corwin, seemingly unaware of our hopefully discreet discussions, fixed his gaze on Relias. His initial response was one of bewilderment, soon transforming into profound incredulity. “Two healers of the utmost proficiency? Holy Sage Relias… I’m beginning to feel as if I was the one who lost the battle today… Perhaps if you can explain exactly why such—”

Captain Armand drew in his breath, readying himself to confess, but Relias held up his hand.

“Captain Corwin,” Relias intoned loudly. “Your objective today wasn’t to confront the Order of the Blue but to corroborate the rumors regarding the Chosen One’s return.” A subtle expression of contempt tugged at the corners of his countenance. “In the process, you’ve exposed a conspiracy that jeopardizes the entirety of Speranza. Will you decline to assist your fellow man due to personal and unreasonable selfishness?”

Corwin flinched visibly from the short but direct rebuke. “I… Forgive me… Two healers are fine; no explanation is needed. Which ones?”

“Asa and Helem.”

If Corwin had any further objections, he kept them to himself. “As you wish,” he said more to the table before him than to the group at large.

There was nothing else left of substance to debate at that point. His ears flush with embarrassment, Corwin simply agreed with whatever Relias said. I found that was the easiest to do, too, though I did exchange looks around the table intermittently to gauge the general sentiment of my advisors.

There was just one thing I gave up on. Overwhelmed by the idea of interviewing and selecting a few members of the Blue who would accompany us, I delegated the process to Armand in its entirety. I asked him to pick people who would stay out of trouble with the Silver and be willing to speak during our pending meeting with the powers that be. He struggled with my prerequisites for about a half hour, but it was still faster than I could have done. Of course, I didn’t trust any of them, but a few hundred knights of Silver would be with us, so I tried to comfort myself with their opposing numbers. The final draft was finished, and a dozen names of Blue were recorded into the accords for posterity.

We were all given a chance to read it carefully, and for the first time in my life, I made sure I understood every word, even asking Nora about anything I didn’t understand.

“Make sure to sign it as Raelynn Lightbringer,” she whispered after we finished. “Let’s not give the Council any obvious reason to veto.”

“Right…”

Relias was the last to sign, with the most prominent signature. He waved his hands over the Accords, conjuring an additional six copies with a flash of gold before handing two sheets to Captain Armand. “Please provide a copy to Councilman Procul at your earliest convenience.”

“It will be as you say, Your Holiness.”

And so, negotiations ended in compromise, where no one was entirely pleased with the outcome. A captain and countless other knights died this day, another Order would soon be torn in twain, and even getting someone to tell us we did a good job ending things amicably would be almost impossible. But at least we could start to move on, maybe.

“I leave things in your capable hands, Captain Armand,” I shook his hand and arm vigorously, feigning all the optimism I could, as I knew I would probably never see him again. Nodding to Mother Sorine, I added, “Don’t forget you’re not alone, though.”

“I will pray for your success,” Captain Armand replied. “May your sword, once reclaimed, strike true a second time.”

His words, most likely meant to convey sincerity and inspiration, filled me with an unsettling sense of dread instead. I nodded once, not trusting myself to answer as I headed to join the Order of the Silver.