Chapter 4
I Won't Be Dead
Reiterated Trigger Warnings: major character death, panic over the death, self-sacrifice
Phoenix locks up in the Soldiers' grips, and his eyes widen with horror.
Why? What does the Blood Demon mean?
Phoenix writhes, snapping at the Soldiers. He looks desperate. He cuffs one across the face and kicks another in the stomach and then breaks free, but not before a Soldier grabs onto an ear. Phoenix just shakes his head, lunges forward, and pulls until his ear rips in half.
I jerk back at the sound of tearing flesh and press my face into my foreleg but I can't look away. I stay low to the ground, trying to not see the bloodied bodies all around me, but they lay all around me with such blank looks on their faces. They look frozen in time. Their flesh is split and ripped, burned in places, but they look like they should be breathing.
Because isn't that what living things do?
Brook had once told me that living things died. It's what happens when I eat a mouse. She explained that Lucius rules over death and brings every living being to their death. She said that they're the one who claims everybody when it's their time to die. I'd asked what happens when Lucius dies, but Brook didn't know.
Is that what happened here? I wonder. Is Lucius here? Are they claiming the dead?
A snarl brings me back to the present, and I look away from the dead Soldier I'd been staring at. Phoenix sprints over to his brother, forcing a path through the crowd. The Guard and Soldiers seem to realize something's going on, and they fall back, forming a ring around the edge of the Field.
"What have you done?" Phoenix cries. "Why'd you do that?"
Ky's mouth twists into something like a smile. His eyes water.
Why is he crying? What's going on?
"There was no other way, Phoenix."
"Take it back," Phoenix spits, but he doesn't sound angry, not like he did with the Guard and Soldiers. He sounds... he sounds more desperate. "Take it back!"
Ky runs his cheek over Phoenix's jaw, nuzzling into his brother's fur. "You know I can't do that. You know that's not how it works."
"Us against the world, remember? It's us against the world. We promised each other. You promised me, Ky. Take it back. Un... summon the Blood Demon. Take it back. You can't do this, Ky. Please."
"It's already done, and you know it. I won't lie to you, Phoenix. I won't. I can't lie to you. And you know that it's not permanent."
"Arcane doesn't fucking exist! He's fucking dead, Ky. Lucius has him!"
Phoenix is angry, but Ky doesn't blink.
"He is still alive. He never died."
"Please, Ky. I can't lose you."
"You won't," Ky replies. "I won't be dead."
"But you won't be here."
"You know some bonds can't be broken, not even by a force like Lucius. We will never be apart. But I still won't be dead. Arcane can bring me back. You need his healing magic. The power of Aquarius. You need the power of a Midnight Wolf to reverse the effects of the Blood Demon. A spell like the Blood Demon has a cost, and to reverse the effects of the cost, it requires lots of power." Ky's voice drops to a whisper, but I can still hear him. "We've gone over this, Phoenix. We both knew I could do this. We both knew someday I would. You can bring me back. Just find Arcane. Talk with him, don't fight with him because I know you, Phoenix. Be nice. Talk with him, and he'll bring me back. We will see each other again, Phoenix."
"I can't lose you." Phoenix's voice cracks.
"Fuck this," a Guard says. He pulls out an arrow from the bag on his back and sets it on his bow
"Stop it!" I shout, leaping off the ground and racing forward with my wings splayed. "What are you doing?"
I don't know fully what's going on with Ky and Phoenix, but I know it's not good and I know the Guard and the Soldiers are the army of the evil King and Dragon that Brook has told me about. I wrinkle my muzzle and fluff out my fur until it stands on end.
The Guard smiles at me, and it's all teeth. There's no sunny warmth in it. "I'm ending this," he says, voice smooth. "My Sovereign, His Excellency, His Honor, His Highest of all Highnesses, King Garonda XIV has ordered you be returned to your real family and that the Wolf and the Dove be brought before the Amethyst Throne to face justice. The capture of Brook and the Phoenix will be bonuses, too. Ky's going to die so we don't have to worry about him."
Ky laughs, and I turn around.
Will he be ok?
But my stomach sinks when Ky gasps and stumbles back a step. His claws slice through the grass of the Field and shred the blades, but he still falls. When he gets to his paws once more, I see blood dripping from Ky's nose, jaws, and eyes in skinny lines. Scarlet soaks through the fur on his chest and runs down the insides of his forelegs. Ky's long fur sticks together in clumps.
What is happening? I tremble and make myself take long inhales to try to calm down.
Ky chuckles again. "See? It's happening." He locks eyes with the Guard. "I won't die, but you will. The Blood Demon is coming. It never stops hunting, and it's far less friendly than I am."
"Do we go?" a Soldier asks softly. "We haven't completed our job, but I don't know what's going on."
Ky shakes his head. Blood stains his teeth when he talks. "Well, if you left, where would you go? There's nowhere to go."
I look around me in confusion. The rainbow barriers have been repaired. They stand tall, just like they used to, colors swirling in mesmerizing patterns. Except, they're how they were before; a wall. Something I just instinctively know I cannot pass through. Somehow I just know I cannot walk through the rainbow barrier, so why should I even try?
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alex lean in toward her brother and whisper something that I can't quite catch. Grey replies just as softly, and Alex nods her head. She looks around, then studies the Guard and Soldiers.
"Should you be doing this, Ky?" Phoenix asks.
Ky frowns at his brother. "It's fine. It won't change anything."
"This is just an illusion!" the Guard shouts.
"If it's just an illusion, why don't you leave?"
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The Guard stomps past me, and I scurry out of the way. He reaches the barrier and walks forward, but runs face-first into it. I giggle despite the situation. The Guard tries again, and he stumbles back and falls down.
I laugh again, but a thought crosses my mind. Are we all stuck here? Somehow, it bothers me. I've always known Brook and I were trapped in the Field. I've always known we couldn't leave. But it never made me upset. Brook and I had everything we needed. She told me a perfect world couldn't exist, but the Field was as perfect of a world as I could think of.
But now I'm bothered by the fact that we might not be able to leave, and the Guard and Soldiers seem to feel the same way, too. They bustle around, moving as one and trying to escape. They turn around when they realize the barrier won't give, murmuring and talking and I see them start to panic but the panic turns into anger.
How did Ky fix it so fast?
I look up to the oak tree, to where Ky and Phoenix stand. Ky leans against his brother's shoulder. More blood drips down his fluffy fur. My insides twist, but I hold back the nauseous feeling in my stomach.
Soldiers draw their weapons, and Guard pull out daggers.
"Try it," Phoenix snarls. "I fucking dare you."
He lowers his head, and his fangs and the yellow horns on his forehead shine in the light. Fire crackles on his fur. He stands in front of his brother.
Brook steps over me so I'm beneath her stomach. I hadn't heard her approach, but I snuggle into her leg. She favors her forelimb that has an arrow sticking out of it. When I try to rear up on my hind legs to get a better look, she hushes me.
"Hello, Astra," she says. "I'm alright. I will heal."
"You're ok?"
"I will be. Are you ok?" Brook ducks her head to look at me.
I nod. "Yeah, but is Ky ok?"
Brook pauses for a moment. She sighs before she lowers her head to meet my eyes and speaks. "No, he is not, Astra. He has made a great sacrifice for us, one that we must remember and honor. I don't know what will happen, but Ky is not ok and we must remember what he has done here."
"Ok."
"Phoenix," Ky chokes out.
He coughs violently, sides shaking. I pull my ears back and shrink down. Blood splatters on Ky's paws and the grass. He stumbles, and his head stays low to the ground. Phoenix catches him, and Ky sags against his brother. When Ky blinks his eyes open, they look fuzzy and glazed. Phoenix jerks his forehead under Ky's jaw, hooking his brother's chin over his back.
"Come on, Ky," Phoenix says. "You gotta stay standing. Just stay with me, ok? I'm here this time."
Blood drips from Ky's chest, and I watch the droplets fall to the ground. They don't soak into the Field. Instead, they turn into a big puddle on top of the grass. The puddle reflects light and grows bigger and bigger.
"Ky isn't gonna be ok?" I ask, whimpering when Ky collapses to the ground.
Brook is quiet for a long moment.
"I don't know," she says. "Ky says if we can find Arcane, then Arcane can bring him back. I hope it is true, but I do not know. That is my honest answer."
"I hope he will be ok." I press my forehead against Brook's leg, nosing against the long strands of fur around her hooves. Feathers, Brook had called them.
The Guard and Soldiers grow restless and antsy. Brook taught me the word. Antsy.
They rock back and forth on their feet, looking at each other and chatting, until a Guard fires an arrow. It cuts through Phoenix's ripped ear, and he whirls around with a roar.
"Who the fuck did that?" he spits. "Have some respect, would you? Show yourself, so I can fucking destroy you. Or maybe I'll just destroy you all."
Ky runs his muzzle across Phoenix's back. The fire on Phoenix's fur doesn't burn him.
"Please, Phoenix. The Blood Demon is getting close." Ky leans heavily against Phoenix. His legs look so weak, and his voice sounds so distant.
"Ky-," Phoenix starts. He looks between his brother and the Guard and Soldiers before turning his attention to Ky after a snarl.
"Stay with Ky, Phoenix," Alex says. She shakes her arms, and Grey rolls his shoulders, eyes watery. "We got this."
xxxx
It's a standoff.
Ky grows weaker, and Grey and Alex keep the Guard and Soldiers from getting too close. They pick off Guard and Soldiers, continuing the fight. Brook kills a few as well, but mostly she stands beside me. I alternate between watching the blood run down Ky's fur and hiding behind my stepmother.
There's an energy in the air. It's tense. It makes me want to run until I can't any more. My skin crawls. I want to pace until all the energy is gone. I want to run.
Ky stumbles backward, tripping over his fluffy tail, and he lands heavy on his hind legs. Phoenix braces him with his shoulder, holding Ky up until he falls. Ky wrinkles his muzzle when he hits the ground. He pants, and his eyes are unfocused. The puddle of blood around him grows even bigger.
"You don't have to watch," Brook murmurs.
"He's not gonna be ok, is he?" I say, voice trembling.
"I don't know. I don't know, Astra."
Ky doesn't get back up.
"Ph-Phoenix," Ky rasps. "I can't keep the illusion up any longer. Keep them here, and the Blood Demon will do the rest."
"I could've just killed them all." Fire burns on Phoenix's short fur.
Ky smiles slightly. "Maybe, but I didn't see another way. There were so many Guard and Soldiers, and they were winning. This time, the Blood Demon will do it. Find Arcane, ok?"
"He's dead," Phoenix replies, but it isn't so firm, not like it was before. It sounds more pleading.
I can't look away. Something's changing in Ky, but I don't know what. My breaths are trembling and shaky, and my eyes sting with tears.
"He's not, but even if he was, you'd find a way, wouldn't you?" Ky's voice becomes weaker, like it takes more effort.
"I will drag him back from Lucius if I have to. You're not leaving me. Can't I do something?" Phoenix noses at the top of Ky's head.
Alex takes down a Guard who had started to get another arrow in his bow. Grey holds back a few Soldiers by crowding them back with his wings. His bird form is almost as big as Brook.
I draw in a sharp breath when the rainbow barrier starts to twist. It grows grainy and out of focus, and the colors blur. The barrier curls in on itself and flickers. It stays up for one moment, and then it vanishes. It doesn't shatter like it did when the Guard and Soldiers arrived. It just disappears like it was never there to begin with, returning to its broken form it was in after the Guard and Soldiers destroyed it.
"You can't do anything, Phoenix. I know you want to, but you can't. I know how much you love me, and I love you just the same. So listen, please, ok?"
"-The fuck? I'm gonna fucking listen, Ky. Are you crazy?" Phoenix exhales a short breath.
"I know." Ky looks up at his brother. I can barely hear him. "Just remember to be nice, ok?"
"Yeah, of course. But you gotta stay with me, ok? You can't leave me, Ky. We promised, remember?" Phoenix ducks down to meet his brother's gaze. His eyes flash. "You can't leave me."
Tears drip down my cheeks, and I begin to cry.
"You don't have to look, Astra," Brook says. She moves to stand more in front of me. "I'm right here."
Even far away, I can see how Ky's breathing slows and he slowly stops moving. I don't want to watch, but I can't look away. I don't know what to make of it.
"Be nice, Phoenix. Please be nice," Ky whispers.
It's subtle, when all movement stops, but I still catch it.
Ky exhales, and he never inhales again. His eyelids flutter and then stop, halfway closed and halfway open. He's staring at everything and nothing. He looks like he's falling asleep, yet also waking up. The only sign that something is wrong, apart from his complete stillness, the way he's just paused, is the scarlet smeared on his jaw and muzzle and the blood-soaked fur on his chest and the insides of his forelegs.
Was Lucius just here? I try to imagine someone walking around, invisible to everyone else. Did Ky see Lucius? Did he know what they were here for?
Phoenix's face ripples, and then he takes a step back with a gasp. He pants in huge gulps of air. Steam rises from his eyes as he repeatedly blinks. His lips quiver, and then he bares his teeth and snarls. Roars. He throws his head back and screams.
Flames explode all around him, churning outward in a ring. The fire blazes, loud, furious, echoing Phoenix's rage.
I dart behind Brook who takes a quick step back. Her horn glows as she creates a portal that channels the flames away from us. I squint against the heat.
The blaze gets close to us, to me and Brook, Grey and Alex, but it never quite touches us. The bodies of the Guard and Soldiers are different, though. The ones too close to the fire get consumed in a split second, eaten by the fire until there's nothing left. The rest scramble back, looking between each other like they're debating whether or not to go after us.
The fire burns high enough that I can't see Ky or Phoenix, but I can still hear the bellowing roar of Phoenix.
He's so angry, but he's also so sad. Ky is gone.
I sniffle. I didn't know him, but he was nice.
Why did he have to die so we could live? Why him?
When the fire drops, Phoenix is standing over Ky, head bowed to the ground. His sides rise and fall in jagged breaths. Ky hasn't moved, and the puddle of blood around him looks scary. It doesn't soak into the Field. It just sits there, just like how Ky doesn't even twitch. He looks like he's asleep, but if he were sleeping he would still move and he doesn't.
Brook steps closer to me, ears swiveling all around. She favors her foreleg with the arrow still stuck in her shoulder. I press into her as I try to make sense of what happened to Ky.
Alex steps back, bumping into Grey. She holds her hand over her mouth. Grey wipes at his eyes.
Phoenix's tail flicks as he stalks around his brother's body.
He hisses and bares his teeth when the puddle of blood begins to ripple. He snarls when the air starts to rumble. He growls when the ground starts to shake.
I crouch low and tense, ready to break the speed of sound and bolt the second I need to, the second Brook tells me to. The Guard and Soldiers shift and murmur.
"You deserve this," Phoenix spits, glaring at the Guard and Soldiers with a fury I've never seen before, "but Ky doesn't."
A three-toed hand with a dew claw reaches out from Ky's blood, long talons digging into the Field and tearing through grass.