Chapter 10
Never Feel Guilty
I watch Ky walk away.
He moves in even steps, shaggy fur shifting with every movement, and soon he's disappearing into the trees, just a wisp of his tan tail that soon vanishes too.
The forest suddenly feels a hundred times bigger. Every shadow seems to have eyes, and I step closer to Grey, who does the same. The hair on my arms and neck prickles as it stands on end.
"Do you think that was a mistake?" he asks.
"I don't know," I reply, "but let's get away from Daeva before she wakes up."
"She can probably track our scent."
I shrug. "Probably, but let's at least start moving."
"I'd rather not be here when she regains consciousness," Grey murmurs, eyeing Daeva's form warily.
"I feel the same way."
She lays on her side, ribcage rising and falling in slow, even breaths. Her eyelashes rest on her cheeks, and her mouth remains slightly open. Dirt is smeared across her mottled skin. Purple blood oozes from the puncture wounds around her throat. I know they're deep enough to scar; Phoenix had intended to kill.
"Which way do we go?" I ask.
"We could head north," Grey says, "up to the Badlands and Roya Point."
"The Garden is near Roya Point. I don't think we should go near there. Remember how the Judge said it came from the Garden?"
Grey nods. "True, let's stay away from there. But I still think we should try to put as much distance as we can between ourselves and the King's castle."
"Well, duh."
xxxx
We leave Daeva behind.
It takes us a while to figure out which way we're going and Grey has to shift into his dove form to get a higher vantage point. Neither of us liked separating, and Grey returns several times after only a few minutes, unable to take being apart. Eventually, though, he's able to stay up long enough to determine our path forward.
Neither of us leave the other's side.
We start walking through the trees toward Aiyana River and the furthest east stretches of the Badlands, a barren expanse of land in the shadow of Ragdon Volcano. Many stories exist on how no life came to be there. The most common says that Lucius wouldn't let Erebus turn all of Ragdon lush with life, that they insisted on one part remaining dead.
"Do you think we're really gonna defeat the King?" I ask as we make our way through the forest.
Grey hums in thought. He's silent for a while and trails his hand across a few tree trunks, running his fingertips on the rough bark.
"I hope so," he replies, "but I also do not know. It's not going to be easy, but I do wish he were gone."
"We've got these powers," I say, lifting the pewter pendant from beneath my shirt.
"I still have questions on them, though."
"Shoot," I reply, raising my arms and spinning in a circle as I walk. "No one's around, and we've got time. Let's hear 'em."
"You couldn't see Ky or Phoenix's magic, right?"
"Yeah."
"But you can see my magic, right?"
I nod, slowing my pace and picking up a long branch to use as a hiking stick. "Yeah... I don't know what to make of it."
Grey shrugs. "I don't know either." He's quiet for a moment before he continues. "We found the pendant and the medallion at the Erebus Tree, and yet we've been there countless times before. And no one else found them. Doesn't that strike you as odd?"
I sigh. He's right. It is odd.
"I don't know, Grey, but we've got them. We have their power. Maybe they'll let us take a shot at the King. And maybe the King will fall, and we can figure out our new place in the world. I don't think we can ever go back to being regular old Grey and Alex, but maybe we can be something new. You can go back to teaching and give lessons not picked by the King, and I can... I can do something. Probably not teaching kids to sword fight and sending the best ones on the fast track for the Guard and Soldiers."
"How did we find the necklaces though, Alex?" Grey says, and I can hear the strain in his voice. "How did we find them? It doesn't make sense."
"Lucius and Erebus probably intended it that way. They've both got extreme power. I see no reason they couldn't have hid the pendant and medallion until the night we found them. But as for why that night, I've got no idea. Maybe it was their doing, maybe it was just chance, maybe it was something else. It's not like we can just ask Lucius and Erebus." I trail off, only continuing when a thought dawns on me. I glance back at my brother, trailing the stick across the bark of a tree. "Remember that Arcane guy Phoenix mentioned?"
Grey twists his mouth. "I think so. Why?"
"Maybe he'd know something. I mean, there's gotta be someone on Ragdon who's got some clue on what the Wolf and the Dove entail. It doesn't make sense we'd get these powers and have no clue what to do with them and there's literally nobody who does. That seems rather pointless."
Grey chuckles from behind me. "I do agree with you there."
xxxx
We walk for hours until the sun is setting, and we reach the furthest east stretch of the Badlands. A sharp breeze blows through, rustling my hair, and I brush stray strands behind an ear to get it out of my eyes. I squint against the particles of dust and sand in the wind. Before us, the Aiyana River winds through the ground, feeding into the Arcane Delta.
The grasses along the banks are thick, stiff blades that sway in the breeze and obscure most of the path before us. They're dense and bright, sharp streaks of color sprouting from the earth that give way to the shore and ocean off to our right and bleed into the barren landscape of the Badlands to our left.
"Which way?" Grey asks.
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I scan the expanse of Ragdon that stands before us. I feel a light tugging in my chest, urging me to go left, across the Badlands to some unknown destination. I shake the feeling off. The last time I gave into curiosity, I ended up with a magical necklace and nearly got killed by the King. I have no intention of venturing out into the dead landscape of the Badlands over a little feeling.
"Let's find someplace around here?" I say. "It's getting late, and I'm tired. One of us can keep watch, and hopefully the Guard and Soldiers will wait until morning to find us, if they do."
"Let's hope they don't find us," Grey replies.
"True."
We double back until we reach the more secure cover of trees.
I settle down on a patch of grass and twirl blades between my fingertips, and Grey sits back against a tree trunk and strips bark off a stick. Emotions flicker across his expression, and he furrows his eyebrows, then runs a hand through his blond hair.
"I was gonna say that we should find food, but I'm changing my question. What is it, Grey? I can tell you've got something on your mind."
He twists his lips and looks off to the side.
"Come on, spit it out. It's gonna eat you alive until you chat about it, so might as well start now," I say.
Grey stares firmly at the ground, gaze still averted. "Do you think Phoenix was right?"
"About what?" I press.
"The killing thing." Grey twists a piece of bark around his finger, and it crumbles. "He said there was no way the King would fall otherwise. I know it's not going to be easy, but I also don't want to become the King. I... I can't just wish death on someone. I can hate every part of them, but I cannot wish another living being something like death. It's so permanent, Lucius's claim."
I shrug. "You know you and Phoenix are literal opposites, right? You've got two very different personalities. Don't have to know Phoenix for long to know you and him are opposites."
"But do you think he's right?"
I think for a moment, mulling over my brother's question.
"I mean... I don't think either of you are completely right. Not sure it's a question that has only one right answer."
"But still, Alex." Grey sighs, shoulders slouching. "Do you think I'm wrong for not wishing the King death? He's terrible. I hate him. I know he's screwing every kid over with what he chooses for classes, and I wish I could give them better. I want to give the children better. I know he's unfair and is beyond corrupt. But at the same time, I don't want him to die. I just want him to stop. I want him to realize what he's done, and I want him to live with it for the rest of his life."
"You know he'll never feel guilty like you would, right? You've got a conscience, Grey. A hell of a conscience. The King doesn't."
My brother puts his head in his hands and exhales, slow and long. "I know, I know. I know that, but I still wish he could. I want him to feel guilty forever, but I know that won't happen."
"You're forgetting that you and him are about as opposite as you can get, Grey." I tilt my head to the side, hoping with every piece of my being that my brother can understand that fact. "You're thinking about this like a rational person who doesn't wish to do harm to anyone. The King ain't like that at all. You know that."
Grey hunches over further. "I know. This is stupid."
"Ain't stupid. It's your feelings." I stress the word and chuckle when Grey looks up and frowns, nose wrinkling.
"Let's find food," he says. "I'm done with this. You're being silly."
"Got you to smile, didn't it?"
"Shut up," Grey retorts, but there's no real annoyance behind the words.
"I heard there's fish in the Aiyana River."
"I sincerely hope so. I'm hungry."
"Nice to meet you, Hungry."
Grey laughs, and I grin.
It's not a far walk to the shore. In the middle of the Aiyana River, the water is dark and deep and curls around rocks and stirs up sediment on the riverbed as it races toward the Arcane Delta and out to the open waters surrounding Ragdon. But off to the sides, there's sections of calmer, slower-moving water that gurgles and laps at the riverbank. Fish swim around, and light shimmers on their scales.
"Here, fishy, fishy," I murmur as I crouch down.
Grey kneels beside me, then frowns. "See any sticks around here? I doubt we'll be able to catch anything with our bare hands."
I'm about to reply when I hear lout footsteps.
"Stop where you are! Show me your hands."
Grey jumps, muscles tensing. I whirl around, and my stomach sinks at the sight of Guard and Soldiers steadily advancing upon us.
"Show me your hands," the lead Guard repeats, voice cold and firm.
The Guard and Soldiers file out from the grasses and wrap around us in a semicircle like a coiling snake.
The Aiyana River bubbles and froths behind us, gurgling across rocks as it feeds into the Arcane Delta.
We didn't even get to eat, I think to myself as I rise to my feet. Grey follows suit, and his hands tighten into fists.
The pewter pendant flares to life on my chest. Heat rises within me. I feel the wolf building beneath my skin, the shift nearing the surface, ready to explode.
"My Sovereign, His Excellency, His Honor, His Highest of all Highnesses, King Garonda XIV has ordered your presence at the foot of the Amethyst Throne. The Judge and Justice have spoken, and you have been found guilty."
"Guilty of what?" I ask, crossing my arms.
I shove down the crawling panic as the Guard and Soldiers close in further, the skittering of spiders over flesh and the ghost of a hand seizing my throat. I push away the memories of Grey kneeling on the marble floor before the Amethyst Throne, the blood spilling across his skin, the cold and distant smile of the King.
"You have disobeyed the King of Ragdon," a Guard says. "You have disobeyed the orders of My Sovereign, His Excellency, His Honor, His Highest of all Highnesses, King Garonda XIV."
"You haven't told me a crime we have committed," I retort. "What crime did my brother and I commit that the Judge and Justice found us guilty of?"
The Guard scowls at me, and I hold his gaze and glare back despite the fear knotting in my stomach.
"The King of Ragdon stated you are the Wolf and the Dove."
"Ok?" Grey asks, standing shoulder to shoulder with me. I can hear the anxiety in his voice.
"That means that you need to face the sentence handed to you by the Justice. The Judge found you guilty, and so the sentence of the Justice must be carried out."
"I disagree," I reply distantly, eyeing the Guard and Soldiers and searching for a way out.
How fast is the Aiyana River moving? If we can't go through the Guard and Soldiers, perhaps we can go across the river, except the river is wide and the Garden's on the other side.
"It's not your place to question the Judge and the Justice. They serve the King of Ragdon."
"We're not going with you," I say, staring down the lead Guard.
Grey shifts on his feet beside me.
"Yes, you are."
The lead Guard takes a step forward, and Grey and I take a step back, and we fall into a standoff. No one moves. I can feel my heart steadily creeping up into my throat.
The pewter pendant is a brand on my skin, white hot, and the wolf lurks just beneath the surface, all flashing fangs and claws begging for blood.
The tension reaches a breaking point, and it snaps as a wave smashes into a rock in the Aiyana River.
I let the simmering heat of the wolf burst from my skin. I explode as the Guard all nock arrows in their bows in unison.
The first Guard lets his arrow fly, and it whistles through the air, snagging on my ear and slicing through waving grasses before it lands somewhere within them. Warm blood trickles through my fur but I ignore it.
Grey shakes as he shifts into his dove form. His eyes widen as his gaze flickers across every one of the Guard and Soldiers slowly moving in, a snake tightening its coiling grip.
I stand close to my brother, the two of us against far too many Guard and Soldiers.
It's the Soldiers who make the next move. They weave between ranks of Guard and make their way toward us, swords drawn and sunlight glinting off the sharp blades and their shiny armor.
Grey leaps out of the way of the arcing sword of a Soldier, and I duck under another's attack. We dodge their attacks, but neither of us makes any of our own. I can outrun the Soldiers in a footrace, and so I try to stay away.
Unfortunately, it's not long before someone catches up to me as I scamper between the churning mess of Guard and Soldiers.
The flat of a Soldier's sword slams into my shoulder, tripping up my paws and sending me tumbling in an imitation of a somersault. I grunt as the impact knocks the air from my lungs and lay there, stunned, while I try to catch my breath.
Before I can stand, the Soldier pins my head to the ground, boot digging into my cheek. I grimace and growl.
"Don't fight. It's easier if you don't fight it."
I pin my ears at Scorn's voice and snarl in response.
"Please don't fight," he says.
I bare my teeth and scrabble at his shin, but I can't push him off. Scorn doesn't move, and I can't break free.
Other Guard and Soldiers start to close in, but they suddenly go still as their faces fall in a look of horror. One by one, they drop to their knees. Several start shaking.
A thick foreleg connects with Scorn's side, and he falls down with a grunt. A pattering of footsteps follows. Scorn scrambles away, legs uncoordinated.
"Come back here, you little shit," a voice snarls, low and rumbling. "And sincerely fuck you for not inviting us to the party."
Phoenix.
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