Anne wearily removed her armour.
They’d given her a separate changing room. Ultras needed the privacy, everyone knew that, so both the soldiers and the Phoenixes had given her space.
Sometimes, Anne wished they weren’t so accommodating.
She’d thought the toughest part of giving up her summer vacation to train would be the physical exhaustion. She wasn’t strong like Andrew - she wasn’t even a match for Dad, and he was old - so she’d expected a standard training course to wear her out.
Seven hours of exercises and training in the morning, followed by a lunch break, and another six hours in the afternoon? Her muscles had screamed bloody murder for the first few days, then shrugged and decided to get on with it.
Anne was certain she was fitter now. After two weeks, her Vitality had risen to 10. Which should help next year in gym class.
Where she would still be alone.
She’d come to terms with the fact that her friends were gone. Marty’s parents had decided to leave Tanisport for the safety of Memphis, which had never been attacked.
Clarice had been helpful, but she was gone too.
And that left her, alone, with no-one to talk to.
She’d known Andrew couldn’t stick around in school. Not with the work he needed to get his suits functional, to keep figuring out ways to fight the aliens, to keep Dad healthy, to bring in money that would keep the household running…
It seemed a silly thing to worry about, when the world was falling apart. So she’d kept quiet about it.
After a while, it hurt less.
Sometimes, she still woke up in the middle of the night, remembering Avra’s face. Shyam’s smile.
Green light, lancing out on the roof.
Maybe if she trained a bit more, she’d be able to forget it.
When Andrew had suggested she keep track of the girls, she’d jumped at the chance. Watch over them silently, like a guardian angel? Warn them of a Grunter attack or a compromised agent?
A perfect job for a budding ultra.
She’d learnt a great deal about them, watching. Kristina’s struggles with addiction. Olinda’s cheery attitude, hiding her pain. Daisy’s calm, composed approach to resolving arguments in their tracks.
She’d watched them and learnt about them. She’d thought she could be their friend.
Life being what it was, things didn’t work out that way.
They’d welcomed her, of course. All of the women had a great deal of respect for Nanocloud.
The famous Nanocloud, who tracked and monitored the Grunters, pinpointed enemy attacks, and helped spring traps on the foe.
The all-knowing ultra.
Who couldn’t remove her helmet or show her face to them.
Who finished dead last in every run, every exercise, every activity.
Who struggled to hit the broad side of a barn.
Who had to stop, exhausted, halfway through a two-mile jog.
Who fell down, tripped, and broke things more often than anyone else in the company.
Who still got special treatment, because she was an ‘ultra’.
They hadn’t said anything, of course. Even Sergeant Banner handled her with kid gloves, and as for the rest of the troopers….
She wasn’t a part of them, and would never be.
If Andrew had been training with them, perhaps it wouldn’t have been that bad. However, he had his own training program - one that she definitely couldn’t imagine keeping up with.
Seriously, he could jump fifty feet into the air wearing a half-ton of metal, snap off a shot with the Mass Driver, and land before the target exploded in a shower of confetti.
A true ultra, one who surpassed the limitations of mere humanity.
Meanwhile, she was struggling to manage a simple jog.
She’d thought of driving the Gladiator herself, but the training program had put paid to that idea. The minute she stepped out of the support tent, she’d become a liability.
So she would sit, comfortably ensconced in the support centre, and relay information on enemy movements to Andrew and the others while they did the real fighting.
And they would all flock around ‘Belessar’, and be his friends, never hers….
Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.
She put the helmet back on. “Come in.”
The woman who stepped into the room wore the same black armor as the rest of the Phoenix Company, but Anne recognized her anyway.
Agni had come to visit.
“Hello, Nanocloud,” the ultra said. “Got some time?”
Anne nodded cautiously.
“Cool.” Agni sauntered over to the sofa. “The others are getting busy with snacks, so I thought I’d drop by and catch up.”
“That’s nice,” replied Anne.
“So how’ve you been?”
“Okay.”
“You know, you’re a lot less intimidating in person.”
Anne snorted. “Intimidating?”
“Oh, you don’t think the whole creepy writing-on-the-walls and I-am-watching-you vibe makes you a bit… scary?”
“It’s just a few simple tricks.”
“You know, Zaka had this ultra in his service called Grim Reaper. He could send a shadow projection after a person and stab them through the heart. People who offended Zaka would drop dead with no warning. Very, very terrifying.”
“Oh. Is he ….”
“He died.”
“... did you kill him?”
“Yes, but that’s not the point. The first time I heard of Grim Reaper, I thought, wow that’s a scary assassin. Then I met you.”
“Hey. I’ve never killed anybody.”
“Yeah, but you can watch thousands of people and monitor them for any action they take. Find out their deepest, darkest secrets. Blackmail them.”
“I wouldn’t do that. Blackmail people.”
“Which makes you a better person than ninety-nine per cent of ultrahumans.”
Anne shrugged. “It’s basic decency, that’s all. Maybe ninety-nine per cent of ultrahumans need lessons in manners.”
“True, that,” replied the older woman. “So, Belessar said you had some questions you wanted answered?”
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“Yeah. He said you had some, too.”
“Let’s start with yours.”
“You said that you eat more to fuel your powers. How does that work?”
Agni shrugged. “I use my powers, then I get hungry. Then I eat. Then I use my powers some more.”
“Is there an equivalence? Like, if you eat 100 calories of food, do you get four hundred-odd kilojoules of energy? Does the energy transfer directly to your flames, or is there some conversion loss?”
“I sort of flunked high school physics.”
“Have you ever measured it? I mean, haven’t you tried to eat a fixed amount, then push exactly that much energy into the flames?”
“Can’t say I have. Look, powers aren’t governed by exact formulae. I’m pretty sure that my eating two burgers isn’t enough to set fire to an entire stadium.”
“I was meaning to ask you what you ate for breakfast that morning…”
“Not that much. Powers are basically your mind commanding the world to act in a certain manner. The energy consumed is basically your brain cells burning glucose. You eat more because you’re trying to make up for that deficit.”
“So… when I pump energy into my nanobots, I’m not actually pushing my body carbs, I’m pushing energy from somewhere else and my brain’s getting tired in the process.”
“Got it in one. You push energy into your nanobots, huh?”
“Yeah. I have a skill called Cloud Energization.”
“Can you make them shoot lasers?”
“No, I wish I could. Right now they can only watch and report. Andrew - I mean Belessar - does the actual shooting.”
“I saw him at that. He shredded those targets like my mum’s vegetables.”
“Yeah, he’s good.” Anne couldn’t help some of her feelings creep into her voice. Pride? Jealousy? She wasn’t jealous – he was her brother, after all.
Agni cocked her head. “Something troubling you?”
“It’s fine.”
“Well then, I have a question of my own.”
“... Sure.”
“Why are you here?”
Anne frowned. “Because I’m training.”
“You don’t want to.”
“I want to train.”
Agni rolled her eyes. “Kid, you hate being here. It shows.”
“What? I don’t hate it!”
“You keep your distance from the rest of the girls. You haven’t taken your helmet off once or joined them for a meal. You eat here, in your own room, and the only person you really talk to is Belessar.”
“... I can’t take my helmet off, I need to hide my identity.”
“Your helmet has a retractable jaw, like all the others. You could join the girls for lunch. Or snacks. Or you could have a chat with some of them, the ones you’ve spoken to before.”
“They don’t talk to me!”
“They’re expecting you to make the first move. Start the conversation.”
“Wait,” Anne said, surprised. “Why would they wait for me?”
“Tell me something. Do you think you’re better than them?”
“Of course not!”
“Because from where they’re standing, it looks like you’re too important to talk to them.”
“That’s not it at all! I can’t just go up and talk to them, they’re…”
“Ruined? Immoral? Fallen women? What?”
“Older!”
Agni chuckled. “Huh. You’re hesitant to talk to them because they’re adults?”
“It’s not that simple…”
“You know, I heard about you laying into the Tanisport townies after that little incident at the food festival.”
“You mean back when you collapsed a shopping mall trying to kill Andrew?”
“Details. I am a supervillain, after all.” Agni shrugged. “What impressed me then was your self-confidence. You called out Lumina and her merry little echo chamber.”
Anne scowled. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“You certainly don’t have a problem telling off the grown-ups when they’re wrong. So why hold back from – you know – just being friends with the ones who are right?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why does that scare you?”
“I’m not afraid!”
“Uh-huh. How many friends do you have outside of the mask?”
“That’s private.” Anne scowled.
“I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess – none.”
“You’re rude.”
“And you’re not denying it. So, what happened? They bully you? Cast you out from their little in-group?”
“They died.”
“Oh.” Agni shrugged. “Sorry. Aliens?”
“… yes. How’d you guess?”
“Multiple children being killed nowadays usually means alien attack. So. Your friends were caught in the open during an alien attack and died.”
“Yeah.”
“And you’re afraid that the Phoenixes are going to end up the same way.” Agni walked over to the chair and sat down. “Even though Belessar deals with the same thing every time he goes into battle.”
“Belessar is different. He can take care of himself.”
“And you think the girls can’t. That’s why you don’t trust yourself to get close to them.”
“I just…” Anne swallowed. “I don’t think I can go through that again.”
“You lost people. People you cared for. That doesn’t mean you cut yourself off from connecting ever again.”
“You don’t know what it’s like.”
“You do realize you and I are both outsiders here, right?”
“Yeah, but you’re … good.”
“That’s not the adjective people normally use for me.”
“I mean, you know what you’re doing here. You make the training look easy.”
Agni laughed. “Oh my. You are young, aren’t you?”
“Hey. I’ll be sixteen soon.”
“Yeah, but you’re still a kid.”
“That doesn’t mean I should get special treatment. I’m last in class here….”
“Special treatment? What special treatment?”
“Banner doesn’t punish me when I fall short, or slip, or fail a test, like the others.”
“That’s because … Okay, I think I get it. You think you’re doing badly in the course? You don’t deserve to be here? And maybe, if you start talking to the grown-ups who were actually invited here, they’re going to resent you?”
“… Sort of.”
“Nanocloud, why is everyone here training?”
“To prepare for London?”
“To survive, kid. You fail the obstacle course? Nobody cares. You need help climbing a wall? They’ll help. The goal isn’t to score points, it’s to survive the aliens. If you’re failing at stuff here, the person in most danger is you, nobody else. Besides, everyone can see you’re trying your best. Punishment is for the unwilling.”
“But if I can’t even pass the course, wouldn’t I be a liability to them?”
“You’re forgetting one thing. You’re not supposed to be part of Phoenix Company, the same way Belessar isn’t. You are an ultrahuman specialist, and your job is to locate the enemy. You are their eyes and ears, their early warning system. The training is just to help you survive in case the support tent gets attacked.”
“But I want to fight for myself.”
“Who said you can’t? Have you tried making spikes?”
“Spikes?”
“Your nanobots. Can you make them into a spike about a foot long? A thin needle, say.”
“I could try, why?”
“You can use that spike to stab an alien from a distance. Just saying.”
“Umm… I can try that.”
“Regretting not thinking of it earlier? Back when you two were hunting me?”
“… Sort of wondering how I missed that.”
“See? When you talk to people, you get better ideas about how to use your powers. Not everyone can think of everything.”
“I’ll remember that.”
“Think on it. While we’re on the topic of thinking – are you sure about going to London?”
“Of course I want to go!”
“Can you tell me why?”
Anne frowned. “I can’t not go. Lives are at stake.”
“Lives are always at stake. That doesn’t mean throwing teenagers onto the battlefield.”
“I’m not being thrown. I can help.”
“Yes, but that’s not the point. Do you know anyone in London?”
“Not really, maybe General Windsor but that’s it.”
“So why fight? The British can protect themselves, they’ve got plenty of ultras of their own.”
“What are you telling me, that I shouldn’t fight?”
“I’m asking you why you fight. That’s all.”
Anne paused and thought.
“I guess I’m fighting because I want to … help Belessar.”
“Is he insisting on it? Or your dad?”
“No, he wouldn’t do that. I stand by him because he stands by me. We’re siblings, that’s what we do.”
“Well, you have the right to choose your own path. If you could choose to sit this one out, if Belessar said he could manage fine without you. Would you?”
“I’d want to be there.” A pang shot through her. “I don’t think I could take not knowing what’s going to happen to him.”
“And your dad? How do you think he’d feel about both of you being in harm’s way?”
“He’s… he’ll manage. I need to be there to help Andrew.”
“I’ll consider my question answered.”
“... that’s it?”
“Yeah. You want to be in London for the sake of your family.” Agni wagged a finger. “Happens I understand something of that. All I’m saying is, don’t define yourself by your family’s expectations.”
“I don’t do that.”
“Well then, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“I don’t know? An ultra, I suppose?”
“Before you got your powers, what did you want to be?”
“I … never really thought about it. Not seriously.”
“So, think about it. You don’t have to be doing this your whole life. I wanted to be a psychologist, you know.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. Got a degree and everything, too.”
“You don’t really strike me as a shrink….”
“So I have a reputation. That doesn’t define me. My choices are what define me. What are yours?”
“I don’t know….”
“Let’s circle back to that later. You said you were worried about being a liability?”
“Yes… I suck at the training.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re fifteen, this training program is for adults. Who generally have a lot more muscle mass than you. That’s why the program’s not working out for you, and why Banner’s not too concerned about it… there’s no specific training regimen for fifteen-year-old girls wanting to operate combat armor.”
“The others make it look easy…”
“Anne. The Phoenix Company survivors have a level of endurance and mental toughness you can’t possibly hope to match.” Agni’s eyes bored into her. “You know what they went through. The ones who could survive that and find it in themselves to fight? They’re the ones here.
“I remember Maria Esperanza - a normal human being, wearing armor she could barely stand up in - strolling up to Brahampton and demanding to speak to me, while I was throwing around a hurricane’s worth of flames. That takes serious guts. You’re a smart kid, but you don’t have that level of mental toughness. No shame in that, any more than feeling bad about not been an Olympic sprinter.
“But that doesn’t mean they don’t respect you. You know what they see when they see you? They see the invisible Nanocloud, the girl with a million eyes and one. Who found them in their darkest hour, who helped them get free, and who watches over them.
“So what if you can’t run an obstacle course in thirty seconds? You have a role to play, and it’s not of being another gun-carrier. Your job is different, and so are the rules you have to follow.
“Talk to them. Speak up. You don’t even need to show them your face; just treat them normally and they’ll warm up to you.”
“... what if they don’t like me?”
“You helped them get free, didn’t you? They already respect you. They want to like you. It’s hard for them to do that when you don’t talk to them.”
“I didn’t think of it that way.”
“That’s fine. May I make a suggestion?”
“Sure?”
“Go talk to them. Ask them what they do for fun….”
“I already know….”
“... lay off the creepy intrusive vibes, and just … talk. And listen. That should be enough.”
“Okay. I’ll give it a try. What about you?”
“Me?”
“Yeah, why are you here? Now that you know Andrew’s not a bad guy, you don’t have a reason to stay.”
“Your dad blackmailed me into guarding Belessar.”
“That wouldn’t stop you.”
Agni smirked. “I have my reasons. Plus, this is the big bad world of ultras – and you two are too cute to be left to fend for yourselves.”
“We did fine.”
“You almost got roasted by one the world’s most powerful ultrahumans, remember?”
“That was you!”
“Yeah, so? All you need is some proper guidance. I’ll consider it my good deed for the year.”