The offices of McCarthy and Butterfield, Attorneys at Law, bore the stamp of ancient corporate traditions. Cabins, glass partitions, even a real human receptionist. A wall on one side had photos of superheroes shaking hands with two men in suits.
“Mr. Belessar, Mr. McCarthy is ready for your meeting,” the receptionist informed me.
I nodded, getting up from the sofa. A ripping sound interrupted me - the cushioning had snagged on my armor and torn. I sighed internally and turned to the receptionist. “I’m not going to be billed for this, am I?”
The receptionist stared at me with a bright plastic smile. “We understand that accidents happen, sir. I’ll get it sorted out.”
I smiled at her, then remembered that my helmet hid my expressions. Well. I hadn’t created combat armor with legal meetings in mind….
NEW TITLE GAINED: FURNITURE DESTROYER!
+300% DAMAGE TO AND WITH FURNITURE WHEN WEARING ARMOR.
…. And my power was being its usual annoying self, so that was normal.
Darryl McCarthy was a white-haired gentleman in a sharp suit. He stood up as the secretary ushered me into the room. “Mr. Belessar. Please have a seat. Coffee?”
I eyed the chair. Soft, comfortable cushions, very tearable. “Can I get something with a hard surface? A wooden chair, perhaps?”
If my request puzzled the attorney, he showed no sign. “Brenda, wooden chairs for our guest please.”
As the secretary pulled in a chair, I turned to Mr. McCarthy. “Thank you for meeting me at such short notice.”
“I’m honoured, Mr. Belessar. Let me just say that many people appreciate what you did for those poor girls.”
“Thank you. I understand you take ultrahuman clients?”
“We do. We are the city’s leading firm for ultrahuman law and consultations, and our clients include quite a few well-known heroes.”
“And villains?”
“Well, yes. Everyone is entitled to representation. However, I can confirm that the Grunters do not employ our services.” He smiled. “Other than that, I really can’t speak to the identity of any of our clients.”
“I understand. The Grunters are represented by Ogilvy and Funch.”
Mr. McCarthy cocked his head. “I assume you saw them in court?”
“On TV, actually. Funch is making a statement that the evidence gathered at the mansion is inadmissible. Since it’s the result of criminal action on my part.”
“The fruit of the poisoned tree,” McCarthy said. “You don’t have to be concerned, though. The law is quite clear - your actions have no bearing on the police’s subsequent search and seizure of evidence.” He smiled. “Unless you were to charge the federal government for carrying out the raid, in which case the evidence you collected would be inadmissible - but the testimonies of the rescued women would not.”
I seated myself. “I have no intention of charging the government for that. But I do have some… charging, which I need help with.”
“Of course, Mr. Belessar. How can we help you?”
“After the attack, Lady Lumina invited me to take part in a defense against the aliens. I’d like to know how I get paid for doing that.”
“I take it you are fairly new to the ultrahuman lifestyle.”
“A bit. Is it apparent?”
“It is, I’m afraid. Nonetheless, we all start sometime. We can definitely help you claim any payments you are due post an action. Would it be acceptable if I asked you a few questions, to get a better understanding where we stand?”
“Fire away.”
“What exactly did Lady Lumina ask of you?”
I recounted our conversation to the lawyer. “So you see, I am obligated to take part in at least one battle against the aliens.”
“I see. Do you want to?”
“Well, yes.”
“If I may ask - why?”
“Because she asked it?”
“Mr. Belessar, no ultra can be forced to fight the aliens. It’s volunteer service only - that much is guaranteed under the Codices. While there may be an expectation, there are plenty of ultrahumans who have never fought an alien and have no desire to.”
“... why?”
“Many ultrahumans have powers unsuited for combat. Nautico is an ultra who can talk to dolphins, for instance; on land he is utterly indistinguishable from an ordinary citizen. There are several others who use their powers exclusively for peaceful purposes. To fight the aliens is something that Lady Lumina cannot compel you to do - agreement or not.”
“...oh.”
“Having said that, is there a specific reason you want to fight them?”
“Well….” I thought for a second. “Have you heard the Stand Between speech?”
“Yes.”
“That’s my reason. I… sort of admire Skymaster.”
“He was admirable, indeed. A very brave man.”
“But I also want to get paid.”
“So did he, as a matter of fact.” McCarthy steepled his fingers. “Every hero who fights the aliens submits the application for payment. It also provides a form of insurance for their families.”
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“But ten thousand dollars an hour seems a little greedy.”
“It is the UN-mandated rate. However, it’s often been found insufficient.”
“Insufficient?”
“Especially for inventors, Mr. Belessar. As an inventor yourself, you surely know how expensive materials and equipment are.”
I frowned. “I’m not really an inventor.”
“Oh?”
“Well, I sort of am, but I have other powers too. I can heal, and use weapons a lot more efficiently than the average person.”
“I see. Each ultra’s powers are unique, of course. Would you be willing to disclose details of your powers to us?”
“The way you ask suggests I don’t have to.”
“You don’t. Many clients refuse to get into details about their powers, only providing broad effects. However, a few basic details would help.”
“I can make combat armor. For myself. And lasers. And I punch and hit really hard.”
McCarthy was noting doing things on a pad. “Any other aspects you can share?”
“I can also throw things really hard. And heal people who are wounded.”
“What is the extent of the healing?”
“Normal wounds only, no diseases or long-term illnesses. Battle injuries, though, can be fixed. I can do some basic field surgery.”
“Actual surgery?”
“No - I basically just shine a golden light on people and their wounds heal up.”
“That’s good. Do you need any resources to power your healing ray?”
“It’s not… well, healing ray seems an appropriate name, but it doesn’t require any resources.”
“Good. Any other major actions you can take?”
“Broadly, that’s it.” Anne and I had already decided that we would keep her existence - and the major details of my powers - secret. “How do I go about getting to a battle in the first place?”
“That’s simple enough. You register with the Stratospheric Ultrahuman Response Global Executive, which is part of the UN’s Stratospheric Guard, and they’ll provide you with a pager that alerts you whenever an attack is imminent. At that point you’ll have ten to fifteen minutes to get to your nearest assembly point, and the SURGE will provide you with transportation to the expected battle site.”
I frowned. “Ten to fifteen minutes? And a pager? Would they be able to track me?”
“Mr. Belessar, it would be highly difficult to track you using a SURGE pager. They don’t have GPS and can only send and receive very brief messages. Multiple inventors have confirmed that they are impossible to trace; and since every pager is identical, knowing the location of a pager just tells you an ultrahuman is there, but not which one.
“Besides, placing tracking devices in a SURGE pager is illegal and will get the responsible person executed for treason and interfering with global defense.”
“Makes a bit more sense now. Although I wouldn’t expect that to stop a real supervillain.”
“Even supervillains carry SURGE pagers. And you must consider that if a villain starts tracking SURGE pagers, every other villain would see them as an enemy.”
“Ah,” I nodded, enlightened. Few villains would be interested in fighting off every other villain on the planet. “How would I register with SURGE?”
“We can handle the paperwork. Do you have a Bastionbank account?”
I shook my head.
“No matter. As part of the process, we will help you set up bank accounts, both with your existing bank and Bastionbank, so that any monies paid to you are paid into the Bastionbank account and are seamlessly transferred to your normal bank. These can be drawn by you - in your civilian identity - using a standard debit card.”
“How secure is it?”
“Before his visit to Fortress Skyguard, Bastion was a banker - and a good one. He set up Bastionbank for ultrahumans, hero or villain, to keep their money separate from their civilian identities. The world’s most promising heroes and most dangerous villains bank with them. So if someone breaks their security, it wouldn’t be for you. ”
It made sense. “Okay, let’s say I get a SURGE pager and then get to the assembly point. What then?”
“The Stratospheric Guard takes over. They have Travelers pick you up and drop you off through teleportation gates. How heavy is your armour?”
“About forty kilos. Is that a factor?”
“Travelers have a weight limit in how much they can teleport at a time. However, you needn’t worry - those limits are generally in the order of tons.”
“Do they charge extra for transporting heavier stuff?” I jokingly asked.
“Yes, actually. This is one of the standard deductions from an ultra’s payment - if the weight of gear the ultra is bringing exceeds one hundred kilos, a part of the fee is deducted. You need to let us know afterwards how much your gear weighed. Anyway, the Stratospheric Guard assigns you a camera drone once you arrive, and it follows you through the teleport to combat.
“After that, all your actions are recorded by the drone for as long as you’re in combat. A copy is sent to the Stratospheric Guard and to your lawyers on record. Any personally identifiable information is deleted - the drone has strict programming not to record your face - but the entire fight is backed up to two remote servers.”
I frowned. “What if the drone is destroyed by alien fire?”
“That’s why you have lawyers, Mr. Belessar. Generally, however, the aliens tend to ignore the drones, in favour of targeting the ultras who are blasting holes in them.”
“Do I get a copy of the recording?”
“Of course. You cannot get a copy of anyone else’s, though. And any segments with other ultras require their approval for disclosure to you or they get deleted before the copy is sent to us.”
“Seems very well-structured….”
“The Stratospheric Guard has been coordinating Earth’s defences for nearly two decades now, Mr. Belessar. They have it down to a science. However, they are the final judge of whether your actions constitute support, ranged fire, frontline or anchor.”
“Er… what are those?”
McCarthy pulled up a table on his tablet.
Role
Rate
Support
$ 10,000 per hour
Ranged Fire
$ 20,000 per hour
Frontline
$ 100,000 per hour
Anchor
$ 250,000 per hour
“The role an ultra plays in a battle can vary,” explained McCarthy. “Ultras who stay back to heal, coordinate attacks, or gather intelligence are deemed to be taking the least risk and get paid the lowest rate. That’s the support role. Those who can strike at the enemy from a distance - ranged fire - are taking more risks, and are paid more. Frontliners are those who get to grips with the foe, within range of where the aliens can strike back at them. It’s an extremely dangerous role, and is compensated accordingly.”
“And anchors?” I asked.
“That’s possibly the most dangerous role of all,” said McCarthy. “Anchors are those ultrahumans who get the aliens to focus their attention on them - drawing fire away from other forces. Few ultras have it in them to survive such a role - usually Herculeans like Drakkar or Chikaradzuyoi are the only ones who can pull it off. But if done right, an anchor can change the course of the entire battle.”
I nodded. “So the best of the best?”
“Indeed. It’s also the most likely to get an ultra killed. Hence the incredibly high rates. Frankly, anchor is a role that you don’t volunteer for - the Stratospheric Guard and the local military determine afterwards if what you did in the battle made you the anchor.”
“That makes sense. How do they calculate the time?”
“From the moment you first make contact with the enemy to the moment you retreat - or the aliens flee. Afterwards, we get a copy of the recording and fill in the application for you - all neat and tidy.”
“I see. One last question - how much do you charge?”
McCarthy grinned. “Not as much as an ultra, for sure. Five hundred dollars an hour for preparing and submitting your payment applications for any battle, plus ten per cent of what you get paid after tax. Generally, the process takes about four to five hours, in addition to the time it takes to review the recording. So for a five hour battle, about $5,000 for time and costs and another $4,000 if you get listed as a support hero.”
I gulped. “That’s quite a bit.”
“But a lot less than even a support hero would make. If we get it right, you get paid $50,000. Less taxes and our fee, you take home $36,000.”
“I understand. But what about the other stuff - legal issues with local law enforcement, consultations like this one, et cetera?”
McCarthy grinned. “I wouldn’t charge you for today, Mr. Belessar. I can afford to spend some time with a promising new hero. But we’d be honoured to represent you for anything you want at a pretty nominal rate - say three hundred an hour for smaller matters, and five hundred wherever you need a court appearance? In return, we help you set up all of your legal paperwork, including bank accounts, payment protocols, and the like.”
“That’s generous of you.”
“You can think of it as a marketing cost, if you’d like.”
I laughed. “In return for being my exclusive lawyers?”
“Of course.”
“You have a deal, Mr. McCarthy.”
“Splendid. I’ll draw up the paperwork.”