The morning sunlight streaming through my room woke me up.

YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM THE EFFECTS OF OVERINDULGING LAST NIGHT.

STATUS EFFECT: HUNG OVER. DURATION: 06:00:00.

-1 PER, -1 DEX, -1 INT, -4 CHA.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Paul greeted me. “Feel better?”

“Not really,” I mumbled. “Cotton mouth…. Ugh.”

“Here, drink this.” A cup of hot, foul-smelling liquid was thrust into my hands.

“What is it?”

“My hangover home remedy. Drink up.”

PAUL DRAKE’S MYSTERIOUS HOME REMEDY REDUCES THE EFFECTS OF YOUR HANGOVER.

INT AND PER PENALTIES REMOVED. DURATION REDUCED BY 50%. TIME REMAINING: 02:59:33.

“Wow, that … thing really works, whatever it is. Thanks. And I’m sorry about last night… I shouldn’t have overdone it.”

“Don’t worry. Frankly, it was a nice change.”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“.... huh?”

“Usually, you and Anne have to deal with aliens or supervillains. Last night you got drunk and had a bad date with a pretty girl. That’s a problem I can actually help you with.”

I thought about it for a second. “That’s somewhat depressing.”

“Not for me. So come on, tell me about it.”

“Actually, Agni said it wasn’t that bad.”

“Oh?”

“We went for a stroll on the Seawalk. Then … we just talked.”

“What about?”

“Some personal stuff. How she got kicked out of India … actually, I shouldn’t be telling you about this.”

“You’re right, you shouldn’t. Still, it’s a good thing you could bond with her.”

“You’re not … worried? Surprised?”

“Call it an old man’s intuition, but I had a feeling that you two had a … connection.”

I scratched my head. “I don’t see it.”

“Do you like her?”

“... Kind of? She’s a … friend, I suppose.”

“That’s fine. Friendships are important.”

“She’s a lot older than me.”

“How old?”

“Seven years older.”

“We’ve had couples with a twenty-four year age gap in the White House. Leaving that aside, did you like spending time with her?”

“... I guess I did.”

“Then I recommend you try again. This time, though, with a bit more planning.”

“Is he up?” came Anne’s cheery voice from the door.

“He is.”

“So.” My sister seated herself on the bed. “How was the date?”

“It wasn’t a date. Just two friends going out for, you know, drinks.”

“Are you two going out again?”

“I don’t know!... Maybe.”

“Well find out, I’m going to take tips.”

“You’re going to take tips from me on dating?”

“On what not to do, of course.”

I threw my pillow at her.

Anne dodged, the pillow hit the dresser.... and Furniture Destroyer activated.

50 DAMAGE TO DRESSER. DRESSER 0/25 HP.

With a mighty crash, the dresser collapsed, spilling combs, clothes and toiletries across the floor.

“Sorry,” I muttered sheepishly. “I’ll fix it.”

“That would be nice, thank you.”

NEW SKILL UNLOCKED: PILLOW FIGHTING.

USE THE DESTRUCTIVE POWER OF PILLOWS TO SMACK YOUR FOES. NO DAMAGE INFLICTED EXCEPT TO YOUR ENEMY’S PRIDE.

FOR DESTROYING A SOLID OBJECT WITH A PILLOW, PILLOW FIGHTING ADVANCES TO LEVEL 10.

…. Dammit!