My last port of call that day was the martial arts class recommended by Richard Munez.
The instructor was a lean Japanese man, Mr. Saito, whom I met outside his class. Mr. Saito was in a black gi - the traditional karate dress - and I was in jeans and sneakers.
He looked me up and down with a disapproving frown.
“I have heard of you from Mr. Munez,” he started.
“Good things, I hope,” I quipped.
“I wouldn’t know,” Saito responded. “Mr. Munez would not tell me why he was so insistent you join my class. Out of respect for our shared bond, I have agreed to meet you. But only I will choose whether you join.”
I nodded. Karate was an elective at Everard, and one not offered to everyone.
“You are strong,” muttered Saito. “And the way you move speaks of great force. So You wish to learn karate?”
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“I do.”
“Why, I wonder? Karate is often sought by those who are weaker, who need to defend themselves. You are strong. You have strong hands.” He grabbed my wrists and held them up. “These hands could crush the life out of someone. Smash things without effort. So why do you want to learn karate? To be more deadly? To inflict more harm?”
I sighed. “Mr. Saito, I know how to hit people. Inflicting harm - doing violence - is not something I seek out, or desire. But it is… something I am better at than I want to be.”
“You have fought with these hands?”
“I have hurt with these hands. I did not want to, but I did.”
“Tell me.”
“I … hurt several people. Badly. I could say they deserved it, that it was in self-defence … but in truth, I did not know. I didn’t realize how much harm I could do, until….”
“Until?”
“Until it was too late. That is why I want to learn karate. I want to limit how much damage I can do.”
“You seek control.”
“I seek control.”
Saito was still for a moment. Then, slowly, he nodded. “You will be disciplined in all things. You will be diligent in your practice. You will learn how to control, and measure, your strength. And if I hear you have misused my teachings, I will hunt you down and teach you the error of your ways. Am I clear?”
“Crystal clear.”
“Not all crystals are clear. Be here from tomorrow.”