Drade had the luck of the devil. Over his time alive, he had rarely been given an opportunity to live his life like a normal person. It wasn’t because he was all that important -though he certainly was- but instead simply because he was constantly threatened by bad luck. What people would see as impossible paranormal events were common fare for him. Whenever he’d tried to enjoy his life, he’d been thrown down the gutter, forced to go on a loony quest to save his life or another’s.

And if he refused the call to action...it didn’t turn out well.

At some point, the spectacular became boring to Drade, nothing more an annoyance. While his mom would sometimes take him to fireworks on July the fourth, he didn’t care too much for them. After all, if he wanted to, he knew people who could put on much more spectacular shows.

Still, he didn’t regret those moments.

As he walked on Changeton’s south side, he pulled out his phone, noticing a text from his sister.

‘I beat the first boss of Bite and Smite 2. It’s even harder than the first game! Wish you were here! D; ‘

He smiled. Even if he didn’t let himself be riled by most things, he would never discard his love for his family. He texted back.

‘Sorry I can’t be with you. Maybe I’ll join you in a few hours, once I’m done. Love you.’

He pocketed his phone once more, then looked around. Although it seemed ridiculous to expect a super-secret organization to just...appear as he walked around randomly, for Drade, it wasn’t a big leap of logic to think it would.

His luck might tend to open the Gates of Chaos at the most annoying moments, but it also did it at the best moments. He had no idea why his luck was reliably unhinged, but though he hated it, it was still another tool at his disposal.

It was as he looked around that he noticed something absolutely unbelievable on the other side of the road.

A gas station with a third story.

Drade waited for the road’s cars to clear out, then walked across, skeptical of the ridiculous supposition that a gas station would ever have a second story, let alone a third! The station of note had a modern aesthetic, but also reminded him of a simple house, with its triangular roof and white paint.

As he walked into the station, a squad of six people walked past him. He didn’t pay them much mind, but as he saw a door with stairs behind it closing behind the window, he turned to face them. The people were certainly dressed sketchily, with coats, vests, and hoodies, and various tools hanged from their belts.

He was about to walk after the squad to investigate, but he felt his phone vibrate. Thinking it was his sister, he quickly pulled out his phone. It was from a number he didn’t recognize.

‘FYI, my friend in the guild says they just got ready to raid a Blackmarket dealer.’

Drade looked up from his phone and frowned. For supposedly acting like they were the law, the guild sure looked shady. Or...no, they looked more like a SWAT team.

‘Do they tend to hide out in gas stations with three floors?’ Drade texted.

After a quick second, Wurn replied. ‘Yes. Did you find the guild somehow already?’ Not even Drade was sure how reception worked inside Wurn’s resturaunt, since it was a pocket dimension, but apparently it did.

‘Yes. I just saw six shady-looking people leave the building. It’s a gas station on Jhal Avenue.’

‘You should just buy from them when they get back.’

Drade shrugged, seeing no good way to snag a cheap magic item, now that the enchanters were attacking the black market. ‘I probably will. Thanks for the heads up.’

He navigated his phone, then sat on a nearby bench, preparing to play Bite and Smite Mobile while he waited for the enchanters to return.

Felix knocked on an apartment’s door, beside Sara and Luuko.

After a few seconds, the old-sounding voice of a woman responded from the other side. “Who is it?”

“Uhh, Drade sent us. We’re a part of the Friends.”

“Oh!” The door opened, revealing an old woman dressed in street clothes. “It has been quite a while since I heard from that young lad...” She looked at the Schoolers appraisingly. “And who might you all be...?” she said, as if impressed.

“W-well,” Felix began nervously, “I’m Felix, and this is Luuko and Sara.”

“I’m his girlfriend,” Sara unnecessarily said.

“Noted,” the lady said slowly.

“I-is Isaphella there?”

“Hmm?” the lady emoted, as if his question were intriguing. “You’re looking at her.”

Felix thought back to her description, and almost said ‘I expected you to look younger’, but had the gentlemanly decency not to comment. “Oh...well, Drade sent us here looking for any information regarding the, uhh...the magical item black market.”

Isaphela gave them a short shrug. “Come in, why don’t you.”

The three looked between each other, then the two girls dated at Felix, making him decide.

Going into a vampire’s lair wasn’t the safest thing, from his point of view, but he still took the lead and walked in.

Isaphela lived in a modest apartment, with two rooms, the one in the back being her bedroom, while the first was a kitchen.

“Please, make yourselves at home.”

“Sure...” Felix said timidly, sitting at the dining table, which conveniently had 4 chairs for each side. Luuko and Sara followed though Sara made sure to scoot her chair closer to Felix.

“Are any of you a tea person?” Isaphela asked, moving to the kitchen counter ready to prepare some.

“Does it have blood?” Luuko asked, her head falling to the table, cushioned by her arms.

“No, of course not.”

“Then fine by meeeeee...” Luuko yawned out. “But only if its decaffeinated.”

Isaphela began heating water in an electric kettle, then looked to the group. “So, Drade sent you?”

Felix nodded. “Yeah, we need to quickly find the magical black market.”

She drummed her hands on the counter, still standing. “I can help...however, I don’t give information for free, you know...” Isaphela said, smiling, revealing two maliciously pointy teeth.

Felix heard Sara gulp and scoot closer to him. “I-uhh, I mean...” he studdered out, before growing stern. “I need some proof you know what you’re talking about.”

“Hmm? Proof you say...?” Isaphela walked into the other room, where a bed laid. Then, she sat atop it. Suddenly, it wasn’t a bed, but a coffin, revealing the illusion. “Is this reasonable proof?” she said with another sickly smile.

“Eep!” Sara said, scooting close enough to hug Felix’s arm. To say the least, she was rather squeamish. “Should we really be talking to her...she’s creeping me out, Felix.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder then spoke softly “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”

“So, Drade can give you money later. But can you show us where the shop is now since we’re on a schedule?”

“Tut-tut, it’s rather brash of you to think money is what I’m after,” the vampire said suggestively, walking back to the table.

Darnit, this was what Felix was afraid of. “T-then what do you want from us?”

“Nothing much, only your bloods -willingly given, of course.”

“Come on, Felix, I’m sure someone else will find it, why don’t we just pretend we saw nothing?” Sara pleaded with Felix, squeezing his arm with a dead-man’s grip.

“...Luuko, I never thought about it, by why are we helping Drade with this, again?”

Luuko shifted her head on the table to look him in the eyes. “For one, he helps us get magic powers, for two, we get nice stipends and stuff for helping his sis-the Great Uffield, or whatever. For three, most of us like to be apart of a tight-knit group.”

Felix knew that both himself and Sara hadn’t yet awakened any type of magic power, but according to Drade, who he knew hardly anything about, both he and Sara were potentially mages. He was a little skeptical about it, but not only did he have no reason to distrust the boy, he also felt like he owed his relationship to him -since he wouldn’t have become acquainted with Sara if they hadn’t been recruited.

He hugged Sara and lightly and asked the vampire, “Are you going to...use your teeth?”

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

“No, I’m not that barbaric!” Isaphela said, reeling her head back in disgust. Felix assumed, given his average knowledge of modern tropes, that the action was probably sexual in nature or something. “I use a blood-drawing machine.” She pointed to her closet.

Luuko whined softly, thinking of a needle in her arm.

“Come on Sara,” Felix said to her softly, “We owe this to Drade.”

“But...” she said,

before being reassured by the Vampire, “It’s magical.”

The group looked to her with confusion.

“No need to be so squeamish...” She walked to the closet and took out a blood-pressure wristband, attached to a tube. “I made sure to accompany you silly humans’ squeamishness when I took my round to the market. No skin penetration needed.”

The group let out a collective sigh, and Felix said, “Well why didn’t you tell us earlier!”

As Isaphela soon learned, humans weren’t very concerned with losing blood so long as it didn’t require having something stabbed into them. The group was still a tad squeamish, but nobody objected as the tube was connected to half-liter large vials, and the wristband was placed on each of them for about a minute, filling them up.

Sure, it was a little surreal and uncomfortable, but at least it wasn’t a needle.

As the last of Sara’s ‘donation’ was in the vial, Isaphela undid the wristband’s velcro, and put it aside, before plugging up the vial again.

“All done. Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“I-I guess...” Sara said, quickly going back to Felix’s side. “I feel weak...” she said, leaning on him with half-closed eyes.

“Urf, me too...” Luuko said, despite looking more awake than she was beforehand.

“Got it,” Felix said softly, wrapping an arm around Sara. “So, you know where we can buy magic items?”

“Don’t rush me, please...” Isaphela said, before sitting down and aligning the three vials into a line. She pointed to one, which had a tag with an ‘L’ for ‘Luuko.’ She began singing, moving her hand on each word:

‘Eenie meenie miney mo

Catch a bad chick by her toe

If she holla let her go!’

She landed on Sara’s bottle, “I suppose you’ll be my meal for the month...hehe.”

Right in front of Sara, she popped it open, then drank.

As she did so, they all averted or closed their eyes, and a mortified Sara whined, while clinging to Felix even harder. Once the vampire was finished, they saw the old lady had changed drastically.

She was no longer an old woman, but a young girl the same age as Sara, with bat wings folded on her waist. Not only that, she was exceptionally beautiful, as anyone could tell.

She smiled at them so sweetly it made them almost forget she’d just drank Sara’s blood. “Now, I’d love to guide you youngsters to the enchanters, but first...” She looked down at her unfitting clothes. “I hope you don’t mind leaving the room while I change?”

After she changed, the vampire began to lead the group down Changeton’s streets.

Apparently, nobody walking past them on the road seemed to notice the wings sprouting from the beautiful vampire’s back, distracted by her face and chest.

“So...how do you know Drade?” Felix asked.

“He misted my father with a laser pointer, then stabbed him with a stake.”

“He killed him?!” Sara asked, Luuko on her shoulders. Luuko’s wakefullness had quickly dissapated from blood loss, Sara’s tiredness had done the same, making her almost giddy.

Because Luuko had grown too tired, she asked Felix to give her a piggyback ride. Sara, surprisingly, had offered to do it instead, and easily did so, hefting the surprisingly light girl on her shoulders like it wasn’t much.

“My father was Dracula’s son, and even worse a person than him.” The vampire shrugged. “He had it coming, you could say.” She sounded much brighter now, and less...suggestive in her speech.

“Just how old are yo-” Felix began, before choking on his words as he saw Isaphela’s warning, deadly gaze. “Y-your relatives?” he revised.

Isaphela began counting on her fingers. “My father was born in 1773, and my great-grandfather was in 1687. My mom, however...” The vampire gained a somewhat melancholic frown as she thought. “I think she was in 1921...she died of old age not long ago...”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Felix said. “I guess she was human, then?”

She nodded. “She quickly divorced with my father when he learned of his slave trade...we were on the run from him until Drade and I finally worked together to end him once and for all. Oh, but enough of that, I think we are almost there.” Isaphela pointed to a shop down the road. “I first found out about the shop when I saw a kid and his family walking out of it. I noticed he had a cane, so I asked about it. As it turned out, he was disabled, unable to walk, and because of the magical cane, he was able to.”

“Oh, that’s heartwarming,” Sara said.

“Yep. Its too bad most other enchanters keep their magic a secret, only selling to the rich. So much good the powerful could do, yet so little they follow through on. That’s why I respect Drade and these enchanters, they fight. But that’s enough of that. Let me introduce you to Steven’s Rainbow Bar.”

There wasn’t anything rainbow about it, though. Two of its walls were windows, with grey metal tables inside, and a nice brown wall that contrasted nicely with the colors. Despite being a bar, it looked more like a cafe -the sort of place you’d do computerwork in.

Isaphela opened the glass door and motioned inside. “Humans first.”

And so, a vampire, a couple, and a hypersomniac walk into a magical bar.

Once they walked in, they followed Isaphela as she sat down, Sara placing the sleeping Luuko on her own chair beside the vampire, then pulling a comfy pillow out of the sleeping girl’s pack and putting it beneath her head.

The bartender, a man in his early twenties, finished giving another customer a drink, then walked to the group. “And what would you all like today, kind women?”

“A drink of the magical kind, perhaps?” Isaphela responded with another sweet smile.

“Of course, I’ll just need a signature of secrecy from you all and I can show you our selection of ‘drinks’...”

Drade tried to play Bite and Smite mobile while he waited for an opportunity to meet the guild’s enchanters, but he’d only just pulled up the game before he was interrupted by another text from Wurn.

‘You know how Sirla said she’d make you lick the tea off the floor if you wasted it?’

Drade was a little confused by the random subject, so he took a bit of time to consider his lackluster response.

‘Yeah, what about it? I drank all the tea.’

‘I didn’t think much about it at the time, but Sirla ran out of the shop not long after you left.’

‘Is she in danger or something? Do I need to save her?’

‘Yo, she doesn’t need help from someone as weak as you. Anyway, she asked where you were, and I kinda just told her.’

‘Is there something wrong with that?’

‘I apologize in advance.’

Drade began texting back, confused, before he froze as he heard a thump behind his bench.

“Having fun walking around with an empy stomach?” a voice said from behind him.

“Y...es?” Drade said, not turning around as he felt his phone vibrate again.

He heard sparks, then something suddenly hit him across the face from behind, sending him tumbling off the bench and onto the concrete below.

Drade held his jaw, in pain. “Ow, what was-”

Another attack hit him while he was down, like a punch to the gut.

Drade coughed out air in a grunt of pain, then looked up at his attacker. From its head, appendages writhed in hatred, many of which pointed at him threateningly, sparks of electricity arcing about them.

It walked up to the defenseless man and placed a foot between his legs, its red eyes looking down on him with disdain. “Do you know why I’m here?”

Drade tried to move, but an invisible, tingling force kept him anchored on the ground and made his hair stand on end. Realizing he was at his attacker’s mercy, he tried to relax, despite the grievous situation. Through a belly full of pain, he began to say, “I don’t kno-”

One of its appendages thrust down on his gut again, making Drade grunt out the last of his air. The attacker kneeled down upon his stomach, jabbing her knee into it, and put their face no more than inches from his, their face shadowed under the setting sun. “Well, if you don’t know, I guess I’ll beat the knowledge into you!”

The appendage, still on his stomach shocked him, causing him to convulse in shock.

“I’m here because...” he was shocked again, though slightly less painfully. “You.” he was shocked again. “Didn’t.” And again. “Pay. And now~” It showed him a cruel smile, “I’m going to make sure your freeloader ass doesn’t do that again. Do you understand!?”

Drade tried to shake his head, though his body was under too much stress to make the full motion.

“Well, I guess you will after this.” A tendril moved down and dumped a plate of food onto the ground beside Drade. “Now, you’re going to rethink your life choices, wasting the time and money of a nonprofit restaurant that sends stuffed animals and food to children in Africa. You don’t just walk in, ask for the most expensive food on the menu, ask my soon-to-be fiance for help, then duck out without paying the bill. Not in my sho-”

Drade’s phone rang.

Sirla paused her monologue and her hair brought it out of his pocket and took the call out of habit.

“We found the black market dealers, Drade, so we’re going to wait for you-”

Drade’s eyes widened in fear as Sirla hung up the phone. “What a shame, the enchanters are about to raid a black market, and you won’t be there to bail your friends out, or even warn them about the danger. As I was saying, though, you’re going to eat every last morsel of this food off the ground while you rethink your choices. Who knows, maybe if you’re fast enough-”

Drade’s phone rang.

Sirla took the call impatiently, and Wurn’s voice hastily spoke through it. “Hey, Drade, you really gotta watch out. I texted ya this, but since you didn’t respond, I’ll tell ya here. Sirla’s coming for you, like, right now, and I think she thinks you dine and dashed. Obviously, you didn’t, cuz you’ve got two massive stacks of cash right here. Just tell her you paid before she attacks you.”

For a moment, Sirla chewed on her lip with a glossy, aloof expression.

“D-Drade? Are you alright? Did she kill you?! Draaaa-”

Sirla somehow hung up the phone without even touching it, and Drade felt the static force binding him to the ground falter.

Sirla’s hair wrapped around his body and stood him up, meanwhile separate appendages dusted him off pointlessly.

“Uhh....uhhhhh......” Sirla looked around herself nervously, all facade of hate and threat dissolving before Drade’s eyes. “Ummm.....” Sirla saw at least five people staring at the scene, wide-eyed, and one of them brought out their phone to record, only for her to shut it off with electromagnetism. She looked back to Drade, realizing she’d just... “I...uhh...I really...I really fucked up I’m sorry!” She threw herself at Drade, hugging him for an awkward moment before pulling back.

Clearly, she had no idea what she was doing, very much unused to apologizing.

“I...I totally got really mad and ran after you without thinking or talking to anyone about it and that was very mean and rash of me and you really didn’t deserve it and I’m super duper sorry!” She held her hands near her chest in meek apology. “Can you forgive me?”

Drade was still trying to recover from his beating, so he took a few seconds to breathe before responding. “For hitting me, hitting me again, shocking me three times, forcing me to eat bourgeoisie food off the ground, then threatening to let my friends get hurt all because you misremembered something? Yeah, sure. You were probably just manipulated by my luck anyway.”

“A-and you know what? I’ll help you save your friends, ok? Does that make things better?”

“Yeah, let’s get straight to that.”

Felix waited a few minutes, both him and Sara confused why Drade had hung up, but soon enough, they were called back.

“Hey...” a raspy voice said through the phone.

“Who are you!?”

“Drade,” Felix admitted he recognized the voice, but it sounded like Drade’d recently had the air punched out of him. “So...where are you?”

“We’re in the black market shop. Its on 3470 Rev Avenue. Are...are you ok?”

“Yeah, I am. So...I just wanted to tell you, you might be about to be attacked by a SWAT team of enchanters.”

“W-wait, what?” Felix heard the door behind him open, and the sound of many footsteps echo through the room.

He looked behind himself to see six conspicuous people walk through the door.

“Oh...yeah, about that. They just got here.”