Onei raised a hand to her face.
Her eyes were wide while the rest of her face was blank of expression.
She spread out her fingers. Behind it, a half-moon shone, incomplete and dim.
Slowly, the girl pushed off from her place laying on the ground, sitting up.
Blood covered the building’s floor; all of it in the corner, where someone else had died.
Her eyes fell, half-closed. “H...ha!” Her eyes widened. “HA! HA! Hahahaha!” she chuckled to herself as her eyes shook, as her pulse rose, as anxiety built in her chest like a tight spring trying to release in her heart. “HAHAHAHA!” she laughed, unable to stop herself once the flood broke. “SO! So you left me again!” she yelled to the heavens, tears forming in her eyes. “No! No, you told me what I should’ve known! This, all of this...HA! It’s just a cruel joke! I’m just in some world where I don’t matter and I never did...” her voice cracked, and her chuckling stopped while her head fell. “I should have known...I should have known...nothing I do...”
Onei crawled toward Drade’s gun, discarded on the ground beside his dried blood.
She grabbed it in a shaking hand. “Anything...I just want to stop thinking about it...I can’t...” she weakly raised it to the bridge of her nose. “I’d rather feel pain than this. I don’t...I don’t exist, so I may as well-”
“What are you doing?”
Her eyes widened.
Someone stepped to her side, then squatted, a familiar expression on their face.
She looked at them, her eyes widening with disbelief. The moment she saw their face...
I should have known.
Kai’Vra stared at her, yet while her expression was bored, something dangerous gleamed in her eyes; a disapproval so similar to Drade that she had mistaken her for the boy.
“Despicable,” the plant said without an ounce of aggression. “You would give in so easily?”
“I-I can’t die- I can’t-”
“I noticed, dunce,” she said, despite clearly not recognizing Onei. “It looks to me like you’re trying to substitute mental pain for physical pain.”
Onei shook her head, tears pouring from her eyes. “I-I’ve been through this over and over: Denial, Anger, Depression...Acceptance, right? It never stays. I’m too tired to even be angry...”
“It sounds like you think you have no choice; no options. You’ve searched for much time for an answer to some torturous truth but found nothing. Am I wrong?”
“How...?” Onei couldn’t understand her feelings; why was her own murderer speaking to her like this? It was like Kai’Vra was a different person.
“When you’re as smart as I am, it becomes difficult not to think too deeply about the world around you,” she said matter-of-factly. “But we aren’t talking about me. What is troubling you like so?”
“I...” Onei clenched her hands. “I can’t do anything. It feels like the entire world is working to hurt me as much as it can. I know I can’t do anything, but it’s trying to make me feel like- like maybe I can, when in reality...Everything is going to be taken from me all over again.”
“So you’re going to let it do that?” Kai’Vra asked casually.
“I-I mean, what can I do? He’s dead. You- You-”
“Dead, you say? Tell me, do you believe death is permanent?”
“W-what?” Onei stuttered at the question. “It’s death.”
“Is it, now? Because it looks an awful lot to me like you never even considered that death could be anything but permanent. You’re simply flailing in water without wondering if it would be possible to swim.”
“I-I don’t even know where I’d begin! Drade is dead!” She slammed her fists onto the ground.
“Hmph.” Kai’Vra scoffed. “Struggle is a beautiful thing, and I believe beauty has meaning. You may as well show the world your beauty while you have the chance. If you have no willpower remaining, you are far more dead than anyone who died fighting.”
“I can’t...he’s dead! You killed him, you bastard!” Onei yelled before thrusting her arm out.
Click*
She stared at the gun hooked under Kai’Vra’s chin. It had no bullets left.
“Have you ever even considered asking for help, young one? Ours isn’t a world where death is permanent. You, of all people, should know that.”
“I-I can’t...I can’t do anything...” Onei’s head fell.
“The solution to your problems exists,” Kai’Vra stated.
“How would you know that?”
“I just know what I know. I wonder- Who could help you? Who could find the solutions to your problems?”
“M-me?” Onei said skeptically.
“Err!” Kai’Vra shrugged. “No, you’re too stupid to find the solution on your own.”
“Fuck you.”
Kai’Vra chuckled. “I’m simply right, girl. At the moment, you’re far too emotional to figure a thing out. You may have the tools to fix your problem, yet you simply cannot find it.”
“Well, I don’t know who...” Onei trailed off as she finally noticed Kai’Vra’s smug expression. “You?”
“Naturally. Or would you rather ‘fuck’ me than have your problems solved for you?”
“What...can I do?”
“What can you do? HA!” Kai’Vra chuckled again as she stood. “If you want my help, I might consider it if you pray.”
Onei dropped her head to the ground, crying again. “Please, I- I don’t want to be alone again, I-”
“PRAY!” She yelled.
“Please, help me! PLEASE, I-I don’t know what to do...” she sobbed. “I don’t have any other choice...”
“Good,” the plant said with a smirk. “Now. Pray.”
“I just did that...please just-”
“No, you misunderstood me, girl. I said pray. Pray to Drade. He is the only person who can save himself, now.”
“How do you know that...”
“Because,” Kai’Vra began, her smirk growing. “I know what I know. Now if you want him back, do it.”
“Drade, plea-”
A vine impaled Onei through the neck, and she silently fell limp. “Hmph. You’ll soon meet him.”
Kai’Vra walked toward the door.
I...I’m dead, aren’t I?
Drade understood that he didn’t exist. Yet he could still think? That didn’t make much sense, given how existing was naturally a prerequisite to thinking.
Hmm...I wonder what this means.
Time passed.
He tried to stop thinking only minutes in, and as a being of law, Drade succeeded for some time. He wasn’t sure how long it had been before he got curious, but it had at least been a few hours.
Am I stuck here?
Clearly. He didn’t have a body. He wasn’t even sure if he had a soul. Despite that, Drade could see his own thoughts written out, his truesight cutting through even reality itself.
So I’m stuck?
He tried to call to a greater force, but there wasn’t a response.
That’s kinda rude, dismissing me like that.
With his attempts to communicate to an endless nothing seeming pointless, he once more tried not to think. It wasn’t long, however, before a thought came to his mind.
Luuko’d be stuck here, too, huh?
He was somewhat confident in his ability to bear an infinite nothingness, but that was, of course, only due to who he was. If she was in the same situation...he didn’t want her nor anyone to be forced to wait until the end of all reality.
Not that it matters. In the end, this is the end.
More time passed, but he couldn’t help but keep thinking.
But this isn’t death. If it were, I wouldn’t be able to think. They call it the ‘end’ for a reason.
Then what was this place? It couldn’t have been nothing.
Maybe...it’s only me. Maybe I’m the only one in here because of Chaos. That kinda sucks. Kinda. Does this count as being dead? Should I prefer to be dead over this?
...
What does it matter? I can’t do anything anyway.
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
...
Reject reality, a voice echoed.
So it’s you again, Drade thought. Hi, Chaos.
Reject reality.
You really need to get some other catchphrase. I still don’t understand what you mean by that.
Ever since Drade had been with Chaos, he could remember a second voice occasionally speaking to him, and he could remember each and every time it happened quite vividly. The last time it happened was when he had been forced to kill Saphi’s father. It was the only correct choice, yet once he’d shot his gun’s only bullet...it felt like Chaos had tried to console him.
But I still don’t get it. What do you mean by that? What does Law mean by that?
Reject reality.
I-I just...I can’t understand. Are you asking me to lie? To delude myself? That won’t help anyone.
Reject reality.
He tried to understand what that meant. It made no sense. He was dead. That was the truth. One didn’t just say ‘no’ to death.
Actually, I could. I’d just have to destroy my soul to do it.
He figured it wasn’t that bad of an idea.
Chaos didn’t respond. He felt like he had somehow won the argument against it, and he wasn’t happy about it.
Then, he heard a voice.
“Drade...plea...”
It was Onei. He could recognize the voice, and he could feel the pain in it.
His expression didn’t change, but inside, he felt guilty. So many people he’d left behind because he was just stupid. It was obvious who Tabitha was from the beginning, but he’d overlooked it because of his own trust in fate.
Albeit, that seemed strange. Fate had never failed him. In fact, he had only ever been punished for going against it. Going with the flow and putting in the bare minimum had always been enough to succeed.
“I don’t...want to be alone. I don’t want to be like this...” she said, her voice wheezing from injuries.
I’m not able to help you. You’re all on your own, he thought sadly.
Reject reality.
I TOLD YOU! I CAN’T DO ANYTHING!
Reject reality.
Stop...stop saying that over and over! What do you mean!?
Reject reality.
Drade would’ve pulled his hair out of frustration, but the best he could do was think nothing. His silent treatment didn’t last long.
There must be a way. That’s what you must be telling me, right?
Reject reality.
Then I won’t give up. Either you’re a real annoying companion, or you mean something. And if you have anything to say...it’s got to be something with meaning. After all, that’s who you are; the embodiment of meaning, right?
...
I’ll take that as a yes. Reject...reality. But what does that even mean? I don’t even know how to revive myself, let alone where I’d get the soul power to do it, but...
Reality? What was reality?
The world outside, right? Everyone was real...supposedly. That was what Chaos was talking about...right?
Since Drade was a child, the world around him flickered. While he could see the physical boundaries of his world, he had an otherworldly awareness that all of it wasn’t real. He could see through objects, he could read words in the air as they were written, describing only part of the world around him. Souls, laws, matter, light, sound...all forms of energy neither existed nor didn’t exist. They were in a perpetual Schrodinger's box, and for each instance that the world existed, it split into another world and another multiverse where it didn’t.
He had assumed that was normal until some point when he learned that most people believed the world was real. That was when he began to learn what it meant to mean something. For most of his life, Drade hadn’t realized that emotions were meant to have meaning. Fear, happiness, sadness, affection; he’d assumed that everyone thought of those the same way as they would a falling rock. A rock would fall, and it would hit the ground, a person would live, then die, or grow happy, then sad.
The concept of ‘meaning’ had been foreign to him, and reconciling meaning with his view of an unreal world was...strange.
The truth, the reality of the situation was that nothing existed, yet ‘meaning’ seemed to imply that something with ‘meaning’ must exist...
But a story has meaning, he reasoned.
A story wasn’t real. Sure, it was on a page, but once a person began reading it, the story meant something to the person who read it. But at the same time, the person who read it never existed either, so...does it have meaning?
Well, if by that logic, it didn’t have meaning, then...surely nothing had meaning. that was the truth of it.
For a moment, Drade couldn’t comprehend what any of that rhetoric meant. After all, he had been taught that meaning...existed. But if it didn’t...
How can something exist and not exist at the same time? This is ridiculous.
Reject reality.
I’m trying, dude...reject...reality? What is reality? Reality would be...something true, right? But my truesight says that nothing exists, so...nothing does exist? I guess that’d be reality.
Reject reality.
If that’s reality, then...do I just reject the truth? The fact that nothing exists? The fact that nothing has meaning? Or...no. Who said that meaning needed to exist? My mom’s the one who says there’s meaning in reality, and...she’s the one who chose to care about whether I knew the difference.
So...I’m back at square one, aren’t I? This is so confusing.
Reject reality.
No. I’m not. It’s rediculous, but...life had some meaning to me until now, and...I think that’s good enough. This question of what’s true or not never had an actual answer, I was just overthinking it. Hey, Chaos. Say that to me again.
Reject reality.
So you want me to pretend the world exists even when it doesn’t? To live in...perpetual denail. That just sounds funny. But that’s enough of that. Someone...no, everyone needs me. I can’t let myself get dragged down because I can’t accept my own powerlessness.
Something built up in the nothingness. Then, Drade yelled into the void, calling for a third mind.
Luuko! You’re here, aren’t you!?
Drade?! he heard her call back.
So it was that easy to find you...listen. Remember how we were holding hands?
Sure I did.
Well, I think that let you use Chaos.
Let me...use it?
Yeah. I guess it connected you to me since we were just manifestations of our spirits in Law’s room, or since we were still together by the time we died.
So...how does that...Oh! Are you suggesting what I think you are?
Sorry.
Drade, what’re you saying sorry about? This is our only way out!
Well...if you use your own soul to revive us...you’ll lose a proportional ability to cast magic.
Mmm...I guess that’s fine. Cause’, again, I’m dead. Kinda can’t get worse than this.
Sure, but this is my fault.
Didn’t ask. Now, how do I do this?
I...guess you need to...how do I even begin...I think you need to pretend that we didn’t die.
Sounds easy enough. MMMMMMMM....we’re not deaddddddddddddddd...
Drade waited for Luuko to either stop making weird noises or somehow succeed.
Suddenly, a door appeared in front of him, and beside him was Luuko.
“See? Easy,” she said, folding her arms behind her head.
Drade found it difficult to be completely satisfied with this result, given that Luuko had just used a power that took him multiple near-death experiences and some practice to even begin to interact with. It made sense, given that she was a full-bred human and he was one of the most lawful beings in existence, but it still bothered him. She probably didn’t even think about the nature of reality and assumed it was real as naturally as she breathed.
Still, they weren’t alive yet. A painted black door stood in their way, a rigid sun on its center. The Gates of Chaos; the doors which separated the timeless end and beginning of the universe from everything in between.
“Now what?” Luuko asked.
“Now, we open the door. Just be ready to be in excruciating pain.
“I-is that really necessary?”
“Ever grabbed your own soul and turned a dream into reality? That’s what you’re about to do.”
She nodded along. “I think I might be regretting my life decisions just a little right now.”
They walked through the white void around them to stand before the gates, then placed their hands on the painted stone, standing before each of its doors.
“By the way,” Drade noted, “I’m just moral support. I can’t actually help with how my soul is.”
“Okay, Mr. Emotional Support Eldritch. Wish me good luck.”
“Good luck, and may Chaos be with you?”
“Good enough.”
They pushed.
Luuko felt her soul unwind, drifting into the void behind her while she planted her feet into the ground, narrowing her eyes and gritting her teeth. The feeling of unease grew more and more sickly as she did, her soul’s fabric tearing.
The painted door slowly began to open, each side creaking as the two separate doors swiveled, and she put one more foot forward.
It felt as if she were choking. The feeling in her chest constricted her lungs, wrapped around and crushed her throat. As her teeth bared furiously at the door, she roared aloud into the darkness and took another step forward.
Her internal organs felt as though they were imploding, a phantasmal pain that she was never meant to experience pulsing through the core of her body.
“I’ve...” she began to yell, channeling her feelings into a powerful force to push back the pain, “...still got a reason to be here!”
She stepped forward again.
Her whole body was cold, begging her to stop, to give in and fall back into nothingness, but roared aloud again, “So I don’t give a shit!”
Drade smiled. Being human was fascinating. He struggled to muster willpower for his own sake, yet self-preservation was, as best as he could describe it, an incredible trait.
As the gate opened, her steps sped up until, as Luuko’s whole body quivered, she pushed forward one last time, sending the doors flying open, and with it, an explosion of unassigned energy burst out from the void created from her unwound soul, and turned into nothing less than a flood of unhaltable power that carried them through the door.
With that, a scar was carved into the void, leaving Chaos to step forth into the void.
As it did, a story was painted between the door’s sunbeams, a story beyond time, space, or fate. It was a simple story, and one day, the story may become complete.
As that story was written, the smirking entity hidden in the nothingness behind them would watch it with great interest.
Kai’Vra smirked. Somehow, reality had rewritten itself. Two people stood behind her, one with their arms outstretched and another with a quickly disappearing expression of confusion. It as as though time had been rewound to the moment when Kai’Vra had struck them, except it certainly hadn’t.
“Fascinating!” she yelled, turning to face the abject anomalies. “Just what are you? I wonder...”
Drauko frowned. “We’re not happy with you, bitch.”
She blinked, the attitude unexpected. “A rude thing to call me.”
Onei, absolutely confounded, didn’t push back in the slightest as Drauko moved her aside and walked toward Kai’Vra, determination clear on their face.
“Oh? You’re approaching me? After all of this, you’ve decided to face your fate?” she smirked. This was all too unreal. She wanted to see what these people could do when they put their minds to work. Nobody would save them; she had made sure of it.
Kai’Vra could feel their presence, she could feel the deceit. For only a moment, she had suspected that they had died upon the clock’s tick to 12, but now Drauko had returned to life, and...
They stepped closer, and the moment they were in range, Kai’Vra threw out her first. Onei reached out a hand, almost completely frozen, as her attack flew toward the two in a blur.
A moment later...
Drauko flew five feet away, their eyes rolling into their head as blood splurted out their nose.
Kai’Vra tilted her head, disappointment slowly building. “You...that’s all?” An awkward silence filled the open-roofed room. “I...hmm. I won’t lie, I was hoping you’d put up more of a fight...”
Then, in one swift movement, they stood. Their eyes didn’t open, their body didn’t rouse, and they had no indication of studdering or exhaustion. Kai’Vra could see mana concentrate into the space just above the bridge of their nose.
“I knew there was more to y-”
In an instant, their fist smashed into Kai’Vra’s face, launching her through the wall, then another, and another, before finally landing in the rubble of the nearby building’s furthermost wall from just a single punch.
She smirked as she stood from the rubble, pouring her mana into her limbs. “I can tell...you aren’t as strong as me, little humans. However...” she licked her lips as her body quickly regrew. “...unlike anyone else I’ve fought today, you know what you’re doing. I’ll be happy to learn from you.”
Drauko scowled, then shifted their body left, placing one arm far behind the other.
Kai’Vra put her arms in front of herself, ready to fight.
“I’m not about to lose to you. We can’t let that happen,” Drauko said. “I’m not going to make the same mistake twice.”
“Ha. I think you’re greatly underestimating my skill.” She shook her head. “But I don’t mind.”
The equals stepped forward, then when they lunged forward, their feet breaking craters in the ground where they’d stood, the battle began.