“Harris, I can’t marry her.”
Lord Harris turned slowly from his horse. He had been inspecting one of his saddle bags for a corkscrew to help them with their second bottle of wine for the afternoon lunch, and Tam had taken the opportunity to speak more privately with him.
The duke looked briefly stunned at the sight of Tam’s uneasiness. “Tam, you know that is the best way to help her. You know you–”
“No. She has… She has so much pain, Harris. She has so much grief, and anger. You heard, a fraction of it today,” Tam paused. His throat was becoming uncomfortably tight. “I can’t be a part of that pain. I can’t be a part of that trauma. Because that will make things so much harder for her, and it will take that much longer for her to heal and grow in our relationship. And she has taken some very big steps. With Luca in particular. And if she starts to resent him? After she has made him come to think and rely on her like she is his mother…? Harris, that’s… I can’t… I can’t live with myself with that.”
The soberness in Oscar Harris’s eyes would’ve terrified most who knew him as he turned from his horse and faced Tam.
“When will her trauma be something you no longer have to manage, Tam?”
Anger flashed across Tam’s face, until the duke’s next words.
“Tam, you are taking care of a seven year old you had no idea about. You are in a tricky spot with not only the covens, but a foreign kingdom. You need a partner in this, Tam. Or at the very least someone who can manage their own lives.”
“It’s not her fault that-”
“Sometimes in life, the disasters we find ourselves in aren’t our faults. But it’s still up to us to figure it out. And sometimes, the best person to save us is ourselves. Look…” Stepping closer, Lord Harris rested a hand on Tam’s shoulder. “I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve time to heal. I’m not saying that she has suffered a life that doesn’t deserve a bit of grace. What I’m saying is that it isn’t your job to take her burdens from her.”
“She’s thrown herself in with me, Harris. And I have messes everywhere. I don’t want to make her take on more. And marrying me before she’s ready? It’ll hurt Luca as well.”
“Tam, realistically? Everything you have going on compared to her? You have a child and some explaining to do with two covens. She has armies and royalty wanting her dead. You can’t take all of that from her. You can support her, and can even help her set a few fires, whatever helps–”
“Who sets fires to deal with problems?”
“Anyway.” Lord Harris cleared his throat, but rolled his eyes in mock innocence. It wasn’t really a surprise. Amongst the Daxarian duke’s many oddities, his particularly passionate and dramatic relationship with his wife was one of them.
“You had help when you had to face your own family. My da helped you. And my da had you and the other kitchen staff when he wanted to be with my mum, then he had the king when he went to war.” Tam resumed his argument.
“Fin then went off to face his father alone.”
“A rescue team went after him and my grandmother saved him!”
“This is what I mean about helping her, Tam. Some things you have to step back and let her face. Or do you not think she is strong enough?”
Tam felt his insides turn to iron. “She’s plenty strong, but a whole kingdom is against her, and–”
“You know who you remind me of right now?” Harris chuckled, but it didn’t sound in any way good humored. “Your father. But the way you’re talking about Eli? That’s the way he talks about you.”
The horrific shock that rushed through Tam froze him.
“I’ve told your da for years that you have to face things on your own terms. He kept trying to decide for you and help you. To carry your burden for you, and I don’t say that because he thought you were lesser, or weak. He did all of that, because he loves you. It’s a terrible side effect of the affliction, I tell you.”
Tam’s hands were trembling in his pockets as his insecurities crawled through his veins.
“Sometimes, Tam. We have to grip on bloody tight when our backs are against the wall, and sometimes we just have to say ‘Godsdamn I’m going to get myself out of this because I have no other choice.’ And sometimes that isn’t a bad thing. It helps you learn what you’re made of.”
“So I shouldn’t be accepting your help right now? I should save myself?”
“To save yourself without help right now, would result in—I’m guessing—you killing a person or two if you’re lucky. You’ve grown up pretty sheltered from any real skirmishes, Tam. And do you really want to start killing people when you can just as easily spare everyone?”
Tam almost laughed before he could stop himself.
He had been living relatively openly about his abilities while in Zinfera, that it honestly shocked him to hear that Harris thought that he wasn’t strong enough to be an actual threat to more than one or two unaware soldiers…
And that pricked his fragile nerves worse than it should’ve.
Sensing that his ego was going to make him do something stupid, prompted Tam to start turning away and leaving the conversation all together. But before he did, Harris dropped his hand from Tam’s shoulder and said, “Tell you what, Tam. Let me play devil’s advocate. Say you fight your way out of this. Make a real name as a dangerous fellow. You defeat all of Eli’s enemies for her, she stays safe, and you have had to become some kind of monster that toppled an empire. Do you think that’s the kind of father Luca deserves?”
“Get help. Don’t get help. What are you telling me?” Tam’s voice was rough.
“I’m telling you to take my help today. Then I’m saying let Eli decide how she wants to deal with this. She can either marry you, or face the concubine unmarried and without Daxaria being able to interfere. No one really knows how everything is going to wash out.” Harris sighed wearily but then renewed his grin. “Though I will advise that you remember to have fun when you can because, who knows, you might find that after going through all this you’ve made some good friends, or had some good memories despite the shit storm. I know I did when I found myself in the middle of it. Farts and all.”
An ominous air settled over Tam despite Harris’s attempt at levity. “What if Eli wants to topple an empire?”
The Daxarian duke got a funny look on his face as he slowly took a step back. “You’re a bit scary right now, Tam.”
“Don’t you know that farmers sometimes burn the fields to get rid of disease or insects?” Tam started to say, his dark eyes flitting to the ground. “Maybe-”
Harris grabbed the front of Tam’s shirt and shook him. Hard.
“You’re talking about some dark things there, lad. You’re an Ashowan. You protect people. What the hell has gotten into you?” The duke’s face hardened, and Tam noticed the way his free hand had moved instinctively toward his sword that was once again clipped at his hip.
Tam blinked, a subtle frown between his brows. He looked completely nonplussed by his family friend’s reaction. “I guess I should ask Eli first.”
“What does that mean? So help me Gods, Tam. I’ll put you on the ground myself and cart you to your father gagged and bound if you start doing something stupid.”
The sudden calm that had come over Tam had him simultaneously relaxing his shoulders, and straightening them.
Harris’s eyes flit hastily over him. “You’re a big man, Tam. You’ve always hidden it, and you are good at dueling with a sword. But–”
“I will not hurt anyone who doesn’t attack first.”
The words were chilling.
“Tam!” Harris shouted, whilst again shaking the young man desperately. “There are better ways! Harder, yes, but so much better! Ways that will leave you whole!”
Tam turned and looked over to where Eli sat beside Luca, her arm around him, as she eyed her mother and father warily in the distance, unaware of Tam’s gaze on her.
This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“Harris… Luca and Eli? They’re my family. Mine. And there is so much nonsense trying to destroy it. I just found them. We don’t want power. Hell. I’ll even give up my titles. I’ll give up being a member of the coven if I can just– Wait.”
His face lightened, and the frightening visage Harris had been witnessing before seemed to disappear, as though it had simply been a silly joke.
“If Kraken or Pina got in trouble with a foreign kingdom, would the coven have to help them?”
Flummoxed, Harris’s grip on Tam’s shirt slackened. “Err… I… think… so. Why…?”
Tam’s heart pounded, and his eyes went wide. “Lady Marigold said there were coven members from Wittica here, right?”
“Yes. Some will be here shortly, and a couple others traveled with your sister.”
Tam smiled. “Great.”
“Tam… Did you… Eat something odd recently? Did Marigold give you something that tasted funny? Don’t ever eat something she offers you.”
Shaking his head, Tam patted Harris’s shoulder. “I have to go ask Eli what she would like to do.”
As he strode away, the Daxarian duke watched him go, feeling uneasy.
Tam seemed like a whole other person… And it was more than a little concerning.
Though at the very least his attitude at the end of their talk seemed less frightening than it had a moment before.
*
“So, my choices are: Reveal I’m technically your familiar, or get married,” Eli repeated thickly.
She had stopped crying before lunch but her eyes were still red.
“Well, there is a third option. But it involves a lot of…” Tam trailed off, his eyes dropping briefly to Luca. “Creative approaches to vanquishing obstacles.”
Luca looked up with a frown. Internally Tam cheered that it hadn’t been obvious to his son what he was suggesting. Eli on the other hand understood… To a point, and so blurted out.
“What… Everyone?”
“Just the ones who say we can’t leave.”
“Tam!” Eli reached up and covered Luca’s ears. “Are you suggesting we kill Soo Hebin?”
“I don’t really like what I’ve heard about her so far, believe it or not.”
“Tam that… That would… That’s a lot.”
“I know. And I’m sure it isn’t what a good person would do. But… Aren’t you sick of everyone just…”
“Yes.” Eli locked eyes with Tam.
She most definitely understood.
“If we fail, we’re dead.”
Silence hung between them.
“Or I could just marry you,” Eli pointed out mildly.
Tam’s heart stuttered. “You could also show the Coven of Wittica that you’re a familiar–”
“Then the debate of whether or not I have human rights would be brought up by some nasty people. It’d be even more complicated. And it very well might change nothing…” Eli trailed off, her emotional distress fading to thoughtfulness. “To be honest, I think our best card is the one you used to play all the time back home. No one knows anything about us. Not for certain. They know that you are rumored to be the devil, but they don’t know why. They know I am a witch, but only a few people know I can turn into an animal. And only four of us know now that I’ve… grown.”
Tam nodded along to her reasoning.
“So, what are we going to do?”
Eli dropped her hands from Luca’s ears.
“Well… I have an idea.”
***
Katarina paced in her room.
She was waiting for her mother to come join her.
Despite having arrived earlier in the day, neither she nor her mother had seen hide nor hair of any royal family members, and the unnerving sense of being watched only buzzed louder in Kat’s senses.
Part of her wanted to start wandering around and poking her head behind closed doors to investigate this strange new place, but her mother had said to be patient.
Kat’s fingers fluttered against the handle of her sword.
Maybe just a quick stroll would be fine–
A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.
“Come in,” Katarina called, while turning to stand with her feet braced apart.
She knew she looked like she was about to attack whoever walked through the door, but couldn’t bring herself to respond any differently when it felt like any second she was about to be surrounded.
The door opened, and in came four Zinferan maids that had a tea cart with a squeaking wheel.
The table was ladened with a plain porcelain tea set, and some simple pastries… Kat masked her expression as she watched the maids pour the tea all without a word, and when they were finished they bowed to her.
“Your Majesty, we hope this will satisfy you for the time being, given that you arrived closer to the dining hour we hope this lighter refreshments won’t spoil your appetite.”
Despite politicking and its many nuances being her weakness, even Kat knew that based on the plain tea set that there was a subtle snub being given.
Kat raised an eyebrow.
The maids waited with their heads bowed to be dismissed.
Moving over to the tea, while intentionally putting more weight into her steps to make her presence seem even bigger, she plucked up one of the pastries and pretended to examine it.
“Who ordered this for me?” she asked airily.
“Her Highness Soo Hebin has–”
“A lowly concubine thinks she can cater to me?” Kat watched as the maids collectively flinched, and they almost seemed to shrink in fear at such words.
“Where is the emperor’s stewards and maids?” Kat allowed her aura to start to simmer off of her skin.
“Th-the emperor’s servants are tending to–”
“Not all of them will be. Go fetch me his closest assistant or ally, or I’ll go and find accommodations with the Coven of Giong.”
Kat doubted these women knew that technically the covens would no longer receive her as upon taking the crown she was ceremoniously booted out of the Coven of Wittica.
Predictably, the women sprung into action, and scurried out of Katarina’s chamber.
She grimaced.
Evidently she’d be engaging in her least favorite kind of battle.
A battle of egos.
She could also guess that two of those maids would be alerting Soo Hebin. Kat braced herself for the concubine to come herself to run interference, and most likely attempt to distract her guest from insisting on speaking to any of the emperor’s people.
Sighing, Kat drew out her sword and stepped back two paces.
“Alright. It’s just the two of us now. Come out.”
The tea tray remained perfectly still.
Kat regarded it flatly. “I’ll start taking test stabs if you don’t come out.”
Sure enough, a hand appeared from under the tea cart, followed by an arm, then a torso, and finally the young man stood straight and stared at Kat whose eyes went wide with shock.
“Hi… Your Majesty… It’s… It’s been a little while.”
“Thomas Godsdamn Julian,” Kat wheezed.
The young man before her was barely like the fifteen year old lad who had served under Eric Reyes, her husband, seven years ago before he betrayed them in Troivack. He had committed this awful sin in order to work for the first witch…
But since then he had grown more than a foot, his face had grown sharper, and his shoulders broader.
Kat lifted her sword. “What the bloody hell are you doing here? And you better explain quickly. I’m not really in the mood to give a warm reception to treasonous arsehats.”