Eli lowered her chin elegantly at the vendor who accepted the payment for her new dress from Bong, and then allowed her eyes to drift down the sunny, bustling street.

The fine weather had everyone outside, and in fine spirits, though Eli herself was feeling far from fine.

“That should be everything you need for the party,” Bong interrupted her thoughts, as he took the carefully wrapped parcel from the vendor with a grateful bow.

“Thank you,” Eli managed to say, though her voice sounded tight.

Bong didn’t comment on it, and instead saw to passing the package to Haewon who had joined them to help manage their purchases by delivering them to their carriage, and seeing to any other of her employers’ needs.

The pair walked on leaving the housekeeper behind. Though Bong, rather than having his usual dignified movement, trudged, his complexion still not quite right after the rousing good evening he had sussing out Lord Guk in the brothels…

“Shall we return back to the house, Mrs. Voll?”

Eli jerked to a halt as she gave Bong a highly disgruntled glance before continuing on.

The abrupt reaction startled Bong into almost vomiting.

He took a moment to breathe deeply, settle his stomach, then hurried his strides to catch up to Eli.

“Is there a reason you have been… ill at ease since this morning?”

“No.”

Bong nodded along, pretending that he believed Eli’s answer for at least another store front or two.

“I had an interesting conversation with Tam while I was meditating out in the courtyard this morning.”

“Do you mean when you were too hungover to walk?” Eli’s clipped tones didn’t phase Bong.

“I happened to be doing both of those things.”

“Of course, my lord.”

Bong sighed, and stared at Eli’s serene face.

“I see you feel better now that you have the upperhand.”

Her serenity twitched back to irritation.

“Tell you what… I will share a few thoughts I gleaned from the future duke, hm?”

Eli didn’t say anything in response.

“Tam is aware you have a troubling history, and he is also aware he is in a state of great upheaval what with lovely little Luca’s presence.”

Bong paused as he paid for two cups of water and some chilled dumplings from a nearby vendor, and proceeded to hand one of each to Eli. She was too impatient waiting for him to continue talking to decline the fair, and so she held both and started walking after he gratefully sipped from his cup.

“Good Goddess… My brother says there is nothing better than spicy food when hungover, but I say cold foods are the best for quelling the heated storms inside.”

“That’s a very poetic description of the consequences for overindulging.”

Ignoring her, Bong continued his original speech while also nodding at some pretty older woman dressed in pale pinks and blues that passed by him.

“Tam is not entirely his own person just yet, and so you both have a ways to grow, and intentions therefore won’t always be clear. His feelings in the romantic sense are quite sincere, but he of course wishes to only ensure you know you are respected.”

When Eli still didn’t add to the conversation or reveal any of her own feelings, Bong took a little more liberty with sharing his thoughts.

“I believe it is best that you are aware of the situation so you might understand Tam’s actions and thoughts as he figures things out. Though I’m curious if you know your own mind on this particular matter.”

“That is not your business, my lord.”

“Of course not, I am simply willing to share my own thoughts. It is important that we all work well with one another during this time here in Zinfera. Particularly if we are going to be meddling rather than simply… listening while here.”

“My lord.” Eli turned to face Bong who had just finished his dumpling and set down his empty cup of water on a barrel outside an eatery. “If everyone simply follows the plan, then there is no need to delve into any personal matters.”

“Pardon me saying this, but that’s just silly.”

“What?”

Bong smiled warmly. “Any plan that involves humans is bound to be imperfect. That is why no matter what large scale endeavor people take, we are advised to plan for human error. And what is it that makes us human? Emotions.”

“I thought it was higher consciousness and thought.”

“That too,” Bong chuckled but stared interestedly at Eli. “You’ve studied philosophy. That is unusual for someone of no rank or title…”

Eli stormed off once more, leaving Bong to once again move quickly to catch up to her.

“Eli, I do not bring these things up to have you tell me your inner thoughts. I bring them up to help you gain perspective on yourself.”

“My lord?” Eli turned around sharply once more, her voice louder, and Bong cringed at the sudden movement and assault on his headache yet again. “Stop speaking to me like you are a seventy year old man. We are near the same age. I might even be older.”

“I feel quite old today, does that help?” Bong leaned forward, his brow arched seriously.

“No, it does not.”

“Ah.” Bong nodded. “Are you afraid to turn Tam down? Or are you afraid to start a relationship with a man who already has far too much control over your life?”

Eli looked as though the wind had been knocked out of her.

“Go away.” The words came out a whisper, but her eyes were wide and touched with a frantic energy as she stared at Bong.

“Eli, I-”

“For the love of the Gods, no one listens to me! Am I-I-I to be a bloody pawn at all times?! Do I really have absolutely no power?! Why?! What have I ever done to deserve this?! I’ve worked, and I’ve worked, and I do my best to accommodate, and everyone just wants more! They want things I don’t have, and because I don’t have them? I am punished! If I am not what they expect me to be I am also punished!”

“I understand that-”

“You understand absolutely nothing. All I want… is to work. And I will do my job damn well, but why do people think they are owed more than that?!” Eli was crying. Her nose was running, her voice was hoarse and choked, but she did not relent. “You, Lord Bong, who were born into privilege might understand heavy responsibility, and having to make tough decisions that affect others– oh yes. I’ve served a king, I already know what is involved in being a leader! But you have never had your dignity dragged through the mud for another person’s amusement. You’ve not had your life tossed around as though you were nothing. Like a thing. You’ve never been at the mercy of the world and wanting to die, with no one on your side, and you claw and you fight, and you drag yourself out of those hells, only to find not much has really changed at all. It doesn’t matter what you do, or who you’re with, people want more. I don’t want to share my feelings, they are mine! Can’t they just stay mine?!”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Bong’s look of sadness and pain on Eli’s behalf in no way placated her feelings.

“Go to hell, my lord. Don’t ever try to push me to do or feel or question anything. You are not a friend to me. You are a friend to Lord Tam.”

“Is Lord Tam a friend to you?”

“No,” Eli bit back. “No. He isn’t a friend he… he… Never mind. I’m going for a walk. Do not follow me.”

She had wanted to say Tam was like everyone else. He was just an employer, and she wished she could say for the point of winning the argument that he treated her as though she were inconsequential, so why should he be more to her?

But he didn’t treat her that way.

No. He, more than anyone she had ever met, had always honored whatever she wanted. The only time when he didn’t? Was when he didn’t want to risk hurting her. He had ignored her wish to sleep beside each other, because he apparently was attracted to her and didn’t think that was something that was a decent thing he should continue doing.

He had respected her from the day they met. And even now, when he wanted something from her, what he wanted was to add distance to ensure she stayed as comfortable as possible.

Eli kept her teary face lowered. She didn’t know if Bong was behind her or not, and she frankly didn’t care if he was. She pulled free a silk handkerchief from her skirt and blew her nose, though as she cleaned her face, she noticed the glint of the wedding band on her hand…

I wonder when he started to be attracted to me… Probably being stuck in a carriage for days on end with only men didn’t help, but… Developing amorous feelings because of lust doesn’t seem like Tam. Then again he does have an illegitimate child, so maybe it is exactly what he is like.

Eli was deep in thought about her predicament, while willfully ignoring her confrontation with Bong moments before, when an unpleasant churn in her stomach and a prickling along the back of her neck alerted her that something was off…

Pausing briefly, Eli pretended to be interested in some framed mirrors that were for sale just off the side of the street, but as she did so, she noticed the two men following her.

Of course. Of course that is what happens the instant I try to take time for myself. She lamented to herself bitterly.

Noticing two streets she could turn onto up ahead, Eli did her best to keep an eye out for any signs of respectable stores or taverns, even though she knew she was on the frayed edges of the upscale store area of Junya.

She spotted one that said: Side Street Tavern, and aimed there. If she was able to flag down the owner she could have a carriage sent for, and taverns typically had hired muscled ‘helpers’ to handle any unsavory characters.

Eli had just taken the second left down the street, her panic rising as she walked…

That is until she sensed something new.

Something familiar. Comforting.

Relief washed over her.

Tam was nearby.

She didn’t need to look over her shoulder, or listen for the sound of his footsteps that were as quiet as her own.

She simply knew. Regardless of the fact that they had both gone on outings that day with other people…

“Excuse me,” an unfamiliar voice called behind Eli.

She tensed but kept walking.

“Are you Elisara Nam?”

She stopped and spoke over her shoulder. “I don’t know who you are talking about. Please leave me alone.”

“We were hired by Chul Nam to find his sister, Elisara Nam… Are you… certain you are not her?”

Eli took her time turning around. She faced the two men, and found them wearing matching periwinkle shirts, with black pants and boots. The one that had called out was a little older than his companion, with wrinkles creasing the skin under his eyes, as he gazed at her studiously.

The taller of the two was unable to mask his excitement as he stared at Eli, and she felt herself want to cringe away from them when…

“I don’t know who you are, but get the hell away from my wife.”

The two men jumped, and swung around to find Tamlin Ashowan standing behind them at the mouth of the shaded street they stood on with tall walls boxing them in.

Tam stared at them, his eyes filled with pure blackness that had the two men taking large steps backward.

“Mr. V- my-my, dear one!” Eli called out awkwardly as she rushed forward past the two strangers. “Thank the Gods you found me! I was looking where you wanted to meet for lunch with our son, but got lost.”

Tam continued to stare at the men, and his eyes were already regaining some of their whites back…

“Where is your escort?” Tam rumbled.

“I… I wanted to be alone-”

“Leave us!” Tam barked at the supposed investigators who were starting to edge toward the couple once more, but the sharp ring of Tam’s voice sent them bolting past him fearfully.

Once they were out of sight, Eli let out a breath, her shoulders sagging forward. “Thank you, my lord. I’m sorry I- My lord?!”

When Tam rounded back, to her, his eyes were once again consumed with darkness.

“Eli, get the hell away from me,” he ordered, his tone a mix of frightened and insistent.

But she didn’t.

“My lord, what about your crystal? I’m sure you can-”

Tam stumbled past her and started heading toward the back of the street, alone. Dark, silvery mists were emanating from his body, as the toes of his boots scraped against the stones.

“My l- Tam! Tam, it’s alright you-you don’t need your magic to-” Eli’s words were cut off as an anguished grunt echoed from Tam, and as it left him, his shoulders curled, and the wisps proceeded to consume him entirely until…

He was gone.

Eli stared in shock at the place he had been standing. Where the blackness and silvery magic had just been… but there was nothing.

It was as though Tamlin Ashowan had just… dissolved.