Tam landed with so much force in the void that his ankles jarred painfully, but he was still clasping Lord Kim’s wrists… And he still held his knife.
“Wh-What did you do?! Where am I?!” The fear and horror in Lord Kim’s voice rang out into the blackness.
Underneath his touch, Tam could feel the man start to tremble.
Sighing and closing his eyes, he released Lord Kim, and watched as he collapsed onto his knees, the dagger falling to the ground.
Lord Kim’s hands clasped together, and his eyes squeezed shut as he started murmuring prayers to the Goddess.
“Prayers don’t work. Trust me. I’ve tried.”
Tam turned around and took a few steps away from Lord Kim, though he thought better of turning his back on the Zinferan noble when he realized he might not be able to hear a sneak attack from behind in the void.
Unsurprisingly, Lord Kim’s fervent prayers continued.
“I’m a witch, not the devil,” Tam tried again, not bothering to disguise his growing exasperation. “And if you knock that off I can try to figure out how I can get you and I out of here.”
Lord Kim only cracked an eye to quickly glance at Tam, then continued praying as though he hadn’t been interrupted in the first place.
Great. Now I need to decide I don’t want to be here. But wait… If I appear back in the office with him he’s going to have me arrested. Shit. My only shot at resolving this, is if I tell him more of the truth… Tam groaned inwardly while also doing his best to stay calm.
He knew revealing a large portion of the truth was going to be problematic.
At the very least it was distracting Tam from his anxiousness about being back in the void.
“Lord Kim, I’m really not the devil. But it is true I lied about my identity.”
The nobleman finally stopped his utterings and opened his eyes, already looking like he was preparing himself to attack Tam with his bare hands.
Tam sidled a little bit closer, mostly to make sure the Zinferan didn’t lunge for the knife that glinted on the ground between them. Its gilded handle was still rocking a little from having been dropped.
“Well? Who are you going to claim to be this time, Satan?” Lord Kim snarled gutterally.
Tam sent a silent prayer of his own up to the Goddess that he wasn’t making a massive mistake.
“My name is Lord Tamlin Ashowan. Son of Duke Finlay Ashowan. The House Witch. From Daxaria. My mother, Duchess Annika Ashowan, was part Troivackian, hence my black hair and dark eyes.”
At the very least the introduction visibly stunned Lord Kim into silence as Tam held his gaze and straightened his shoulders.
“I’m here in Daxaria to investigate the state of the Zinferan court from a distance. Eli, who is posing as my wife, came with me as she knows this kingdom, and is currently working for my family while she is trying to obtain Daxarian citizenship.”
Lord Kim sank back onto his haunches as his expression grew even more dumbfounded.
“Then we received information regarding Lord Guk and Lord Yangban’s work with human trafficking and how the concubine Soo Hebin is working to build her own power to place her son on the throne, and we decided to try and help tip the scales a little out of their favor…”
“You…” Lord Kim managed as he stared at Tam, his thoughts racing behind his eyes. “You made me approach you. You knew I was opposed to Her Highness Soo Hebin.”
“Yes.”
“You wanted to work with me, even though your family openly disapproves of those of the Acker religion,” the Zinferan continued.
“It’s a ridiculous religion and it’s born to feed people’s hatred that came from some sort of personal pain. The Goddess does not hate any creation she makes, and if you think she isn’t aware of who their propensity to love is…? Then you are insulting their divinity.” Tam shrugged, but watched how his words once again incited rage in Lord Kim. “However, aside from your terrible beliefs pertaining to those who don’t have straight forward sexual preferences… You are not an evil person. There is bad in all of us, but it’s rare that that is all we are.”
Lord Kim glared at Tam. “I suppose you feel you can lecture me when you have the upper hand. Where are we?” he asked scathingly.
Tam dropped his chin and released a breath fueled with agitation. “My ability… Makes me able to move to a place of everything, and nothing. It’s very difficult to find my way out, and I’ve never been able to bring anyone else in with me before.”
“You are death.”
“I’m not–” Tam paused.
Was that why the carriage driver had come? Was he like him…? Wasn’t the carriage driver death?
“I don’t know. I’ve avoided wielding my magic because I don’t know how to use it, or the nuances of it.”
Tam crouched down wearily, then proceeded to sit cross legged and slouch forward while continuing his explanation. “Eli… Or Elisara, as you know her… She didn’t want to come back here. She only did it because the Daxarian king promised her citizenship in exchange for her help. She does not want anything to do with the Zinferan throne. All we are doing is investigating, and trying to stop human trafficking. You just happened to try and stab me and my magic brought us here.”
Lord Kim arched an eyebrow, his expression softening fractionally. “What about the boy?”
Tam winced. He’d hoped this question wouldn’t come up. “He is my son.”
“Now I know you lie,” Lord Kim scoffed coldly. “If he is your son then you are not Lord Tamlin Ashowan.”
“Aaah,” Tam reached up and rubbed his face. “No, no. He is. I found out I had an illegitimate son who stowed away on my boat here to meet me. I had no idea he existed prior to this journey and I’m doing my best to navigate this new complication.”
Lord Kim was once again so appalled that he was shocked into momentary quiet. “I doubt the great Ashowan household would ever have something as scandalous–”
“Wow. First time in my life I’m considered the scandalous one in ym family,” Tam looked upward as this new development struck him and let out a dry laugh of disbelief.
Lord Kim’s face twitched as Tam’s face and tone sounded far more sincere than it ever had.
“If everything you said is true… What now?”
Tam leaned back and rested his palms against a solid surface that felt like cool glass, but really just appeared as more darkness. “Well, I can start trying to get us back out of this place– which I’d like to. Last time this happened I was stuck in here for three days.”
“That’s why you were gone for so long from the records hall,” Lord Kim jumped in while referring to Tam’s recent disappearance as he started to lean forward earnestly as he pieced everything together.
“Yes. And I’d like to get back sooner than that, but I need to know what you will do once we return,” Tam explained softly, his dark eyes trained on the nobleman in preparation to spot any lies.
Lord Kim tilted his head, his gaze moving to the side thoughtfully.
Tam watched as his chubby index finger would occasionally tap his thigh as he moved his thoughts through the information he had just had thrust upon him.
“What did you mean when you said this is a place of everything and nothing?” he questioned, succeeding in catching Tam off guard.
The future duke opened his mouth then closed it.
He got the sense it was a bad idea to mention his encounter with death’s carriage driver…
“How I’m understanding it… and experiencing it… Is if I focus? I can feel, hear, and smell my surroundings. But there are spots in here, where there is nothing.”
“Like the Grove of Sorrows?”
Tam could tell by his leading tone that the Zinferan nobleman was once again trying to argue that he was death.
“Apparently the Grove of Sorrows is worse.”
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Blinking, Lord Kim frowned. “How often does your family converse with the Gods to have such knowledge? I thought it was only your father who-”
Tam looked toward where the sky theoretically should have been. “If you think everything about my family is flawlessly transparent and reported to everyone, you concern me.”
At the wryness of his retort, Lord Kim gave a vague nod of concession after considering Tam’s words. “Your magic then means you can possess people?”
“I don’t believe so.”
“You can banish people to this place?”
“Not sure. You’re the first to come here, remember?”
“Peculiar… As someone who, lord or not, I identified as having a scholar’s mind, I’d think you’d have more of an investigative spirit for such a gift.”
Tam felt an old wound in his heart resurface. “You were scared when you first got here, right? Well, imagine being a child and being stuck in a void where you had no body. And there was no sense of time. You simply ceased to exist.”
Something remarkably similar to compassion welled up in Lord Kim’s eyes. “That sounds frightening.”
“It was. I didn’t want to learn more about it until more recently, and to be quite honest, there hasn’t been a great deal of time to think about it.”
“Does time move slower here…?” Lord Kim asked, peering around curiously.
“It feels that way. Or like… It’s a space between time.”
Lord Kim carefully lifted the right corner of his mouth. “Well… Lord Tamlin Ashowan. If that is the case, then in the answer to your earlier question on what I will do once you free me from this place is this: Let us explore your magic in here as much as possible, and once we return to the land of the living, I will try to help you stop Lord Yangban gaining anymore power, and I will keep your secret. But… I want you to promise me you will not grant any favors to the Nam family. Not ever.”
“Elisara better be excluded from that detail,” Tam warned, his expression turning cold.
Lord Kim balked only for a moment at the shift in the future duke’s disposition, but then smiled genuinely. “Ah. So it wasn’t entirely a lie that you care deeply for Elisara.”
Tam said nothing. “I do not believe Chul Nam is like his father, but I will concede that I think his assistant is corrupt.”
“Like attracts like, Lord Tamlin. But in the scenario where that boy is pushed around by a bully? You cannot be the one to reach out a hand to save him. Lord Chul must learn to save himself or you will get dragged under. Lord Chul already has a wealth of support, why should he need yours?”
“If he does start trying to free himself, will I be able to help without you considering it a nullification of this agreement?” Tam asked instead of commenting on Lord Kim’s observation.
Lord Kim considered this proposal carefully before responding. “No. He is well connected enough, Lord Tam. Do not give him any tie to you, and if you think you are doing it for Princess Elisara, you are mistaken. It was a blessing she was freed from that family. You keep her as far from them as possible.”
Tam wanted to object more, but Lord Kim held out a hand, letting him know this was the deal. And he had no choice but to take it.
The future duke recognized that he may gain an ally, but he also would gain a very risky liability.
Though once they’d leave Zinfera, it wouldn’t really matter…
Tam shook the man’s hand.
“Wonderful, now–”
“Before we get started, I do just want to confirm you are aware that if Soo Hebin finds out about any interference on your end you could find yourself charged with treason.”
“For what? Helping exterminate the vermin infestation of human traffickers we have?” Lord Kim wondered mildly. “If we cripple Lord Yangban, she will claim to know nothing about it.”
Tam chuckled. There wasn’t anything else he could say on the matter he supposed.
“Alright, Lord Tamlin, can you transform into objects, or is this the middle ground to that end?”
“I doubt that.”
“What do you feel or smell right now?”
At first Tam was going to dismiss this question, but… He had to admit it wasn’t a bad idea to try and learn more about his abilities.
So, he closed his eyes, and reached out with his senses.
At first there was nothing… but as he waited, there was a faint clamor that started wafting closer… As though he were still in Lord Kim’s office and the bustling streets of Junya were just outside… What did he smell?
Varnish? Fresh paper?
He repeated his findings to the Zinferan nobleman who nodded excitedly.
“Then we must be in a pocket of magic within my office still!”
Tam was grateful when Lord Kim didn’t press on into another line of questioning as he too pondered this discovery.
The last time he had been in the void, he had wandered around a lot, was that why he wound up somewhere else? Or… Could he choose where he reappeared?
A buzzing sensation sprang to life in Tam’s chest, and it started to spread.
“You know, if you ever do happen to find the devil, this would be a marvelous way of holding him hostage, unless of course he is more powerful than yo–”
“Why would you say that?” Tam demanded abruptly, his thoughts snapping to the present in alarm.
Lord Guk didn’t react to Tam’s disturbance, and continued down his line of thought. “The devil’s power is to extort fear from people. If he is trapped in a place without people, then really, it is the perfect prison. One that no one other than the Gods could’ve made.”
Tam felt a droplet of cold sweat run down his back as Luca’s smiling face flashed through his mind… Then of the mysterious, magical red thread that had dragged him out of the void last time…
“I have another idea,” he said gruffly, not wanting to dwell on the dangerous possibilities of such a future. “Stand.”
The Zinferan nobleman obeyed.
Tam reached out and grasped Lord Kim’s arm.
He then proceeded to close his eyes once more, but this time, instead of searching for what was around him and what he could feel, hear, or smell, he thought of his and Eli’s room back at the house.
He thought of the bed with the fluffed duvet, the warm color of the wooden floors, the papered sliding door, the dresser with Eli’s new bangles, he remembered the smell of the polish Haewon used when dusting the ledges and bed frame that gave the room its lemon scent…
Then Tam allowed all his desire to return to that room flood his being. How, without a shadow of a doubt, he wanted to be back in the house with Eli and Luca…
It was just after lunch time, and it was usually when Luca’s tutor had him meditating out in the plum tree, so the inside of the house was quiet. Maybe Eli was taking a nap.
Unlike when Tam’s magic leaked out in black shadows and silvery wisps, a different sensation bore down on him then… It was the feeling of weightlessness as he then whipped through nothing, and yet not nothing. He heard sounds blare, he could feel all kinds of things bump into him, he even thought he felt sunshine at one point on his face, but that driving flow of magic that he allowed to rush from himself pulled him forward as he clung to the image of the room until…
“Tam?! W-What… What just… Who’s that?”
Tam’s eyes snapped open to find himself standing exactly where he imagined he would, still holding Lord Kim’s arm.
He turned, dumbfounded to stare at Eli as she sat up in bed staring at him with her eyes bulging out of her head.
Tam noted there were fading, silvery wisps around him that eventually disappeared into the air…
He swallowed.
He did it.
His magic… allowed him to travel to in between places. To a nothing place. To an everything place… And places in the land of the living.
Opening his mouth, his head spinning, Tam looked at Eli and said, “You’re hair’s sticking up at the back of your head.”