Still not enough!

You aren’t enough!

You think you deserve the Ashowan name?

Why?

A peasant given a fraction of your opportunities could do what you do!

You’ve killed people! Sure, you say it’s only in defense, but those are entire worlds you destroy. They all had a mother! A father! Family! Friends!

Your own father saves people!

You are nothing but a problem to the world.

Why aren’t you more?

Why aren’t you enough?

So many people do more with less!

Your own son was shunned and scorned and you weren’t there for him!

Be better!

Look at you!

You’re pathetic!

Your power could help someone, and you ran from it for years!

You are nothing like your father. He worked to grow his power, and you avoided it like a coward.

No wonder your own family doesn’t even take you seriously.

You expect to protect your child? You can barely protect yourself!

Tam jolted awake.

Tears flowed freely down his cheeks as his eyes widened against the darkness; his entire body clammy.

Outside of Sua and Hajung’s cottage, crickets performed seamlessly while Tam slept alone in the darkness of the tent he had erected near Luca’s window.

His mind struggled against the drowning nightmare as he gasped.

It had been years since he’d dreamed of being trapped in the void with the worst of his thoughts and fears whirling around him…

Sitting up, Tam reached for his waterskin, his throat dry from heavy breathing.

After gulping down several mouthfuls, he stared at his trembling hands in the darkness.

It’s a dream. I’m different now…

Reaching up. Tam pinched the bridge of his nose, though he was not successful in stopping the shivering that wracked his body.

“I need to be better. My magic needs to be stronger.”

His mind flitted to the image of Luca’s pale, sick face, and then he dwelled on the knowledge that the Giong Coven was hunting him…

Taking a deep, steadying breath, his arms wrapped around his knees, Tam grasped his wrist.

“Alright. I guess I’m not getting any sleep tonight. Might as well think this all through. Starting with my magic.”

*

The cool porcelain pressed against Eli’s cheek, drawing her back to her senses, and as a result, making a pained groan crawl out of her throat as the dull pounding in her head greeted her.

Then a heavens sent cold cloth was pressed to her forehead, and her groan turned to one of relief.

“I figured you’d be in a state this morning.” Tam’s gentle, chuckling voice sounded beside Eli.

She scrunched up her face and rolled onto her side with a grumble while reaching up to clutch the cloth to her head.

“Eli, I need you to be up soon. I want to try something with my magic, and I need you there. Jeong is off in the fields with Hajung helping him with his farm work. Do you think you can manage to come with me?”

“How’s Luca?” she mumbled instead of answering.

“He’s helping Sua in the kitchen. He still has a cough but his fever is staying down. I’ll give him a bath later.” Tam reached up and gently stroked Eli’s hair as he spoke. Feeling this, Eli stilled as the soothing movements helped to further quell some of the nasty pains plaguing her. “Sua made a spicy pork bone soup for you. Hajung swears it helps you get through the worst of the hangover.”

Eli’s mouth instantly watered.

Something in her revealed that this savory spicy treat was exactly what would help set her to rights.

“I also made a cup of ginger tea for you.”

“Did you-”

“Yes, I boiled it in the pot. I did not just add boiling water to the cup. You taught me well.”

“You’re still a tea heathen,” Eli grumbled while sitting up, and instantly regretting it as the world briefly spun around her.

“There is no pleasing you,” Tam teased while reaching out to rub soothing circles on Eli’s back.

At first she wanted to bark at him to not touch her, but after she considered how good it felt, conceded to hold her tongue on the matter.

Though she still gave a faint rumble.

“I almost feel like… Since you’ve been turning into your other form more often, your cat-like tendencies have become more apparent to me.”

Turning her head slowly, Eli’s eyes narrowed, even though it pained her to do so, she wanted Tam to see her annoyance.

He merely grinned at her response.

Which made her thoughts temporarily sputter as she was confronted in her weakened state with his handsomeness.

Him and his stupid good looks…

“What is it you want to try with your magic?” Eli asked, hoping to stay in her indignant state for the sake of her pride.

“Well, last night I was thinking how Lord Kim raised a very interesting line of questions when he identified my magic as ether.”

“Such as…?”

“Such as, shouldn’t I be able to control matter around me? Or the void? What if I can make people or things disappear through it? Is it still as taxing to me? Or can I move things rather than opening and stepping into the void?”

Eli’s head throbbed, but her heart fluttered with excitement. “That… would make sense if he was right about what your magic is.”

“It’s hard to explain… But I get the sense that he did find the appropriate title of my power.” As he spoke, Tam’s hand casually found its way into Eli’s. She gripped his hand tightly in response.

She normally wouldn’t do such a thing… But she blamed the hangover. “I see how this would make your abilities wildly powerful and helpful… So, yes. Yes, I will get up… And… Go outside.”

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“After you’ve eaten,” Tam assured firmly.

“After I’ve eaten,” Eli agreed while closing her eyes with a weak smile.

“And after your tea.”

“After my tea.”

“Thank you.” Tam pushed himself halfway out of his crouch, making his knees crack, but he still paused nonetheless to brush a kiss against Eli’s forehead. “I’ll see you out there. Love you.”

Caught off guard, Eli blinked, then stared dumbly up at him, his hand still clasped in her own as she lowered the cloth from her forehead.

“Gods… I don’t think I deserve you.”

“You deserve someone even better than me,” Tam murmured sincerely before once again kissing the top of her head. “How many other women would let me drag them through the wilderness with a seven year old, help me plan escape routes, battle corrupt covens… Should I go on?”

“You forgot putting up with your lack of tea knowledge.”

Tam chuckled, the warm sound emanating from his throat and his breath tickling Eli’s forehead. “Ah. My greatest sin aside from my alleged attractiveness according to you.”

Eli’s eyes rounded. “Oh… did I say that outloud yesterday?” Tam chortled again in response. “Oh no. Gods– No!” Eli proceeded to bury her face in the damp cloth.

“Mhm. I’m still curious to hear confirmation about these four extra children you’d like to have.”

“Nnngah!”

Tam, laughing heartily, gave his poor lady a kiss on the head then headed toward the door.

“See you outside, dear one.”

Eli flopped back on the single bed and turned on her side, her cheeks burning against the cold cloth. She wouldn’t have been surprised if there were steam coming from it.

Gods… And to think I chose the milder mannered Ashowan…

*

Standing outside amongst the rows of raspberry bushes, far enough from the cottage and from where Hajung and Jeong were working so that they would not be able to see anything, Eli faced Tam, and between them, sat an empty steel bucket.

“Alright. I’m going to first try to topple the bucket over,” Tam announced, his skepticism of his own abilities betrayed in his tone.

“How… exactly are you planning on doing it…?” Eli asked slowly, her eyes moving from the bucket up to Tam’s uncertain face.

“When I’m moving through the void, I often feel, hear, and smell things in the surrounding area. It’s how I slowly started to figure out where to go the first few times. But I’ve never tried interacting with any of the things I’ve felt.”

Eli nodded thoughtfully. “That makes sense. Alright. Go ahead.”

“Thank you for your permission.”

Eli shot Tam an unimpressed glance while he grinned at her, and then in a fluttering of black, silvery wisps, he disappeared.

She watched the silver bucket, patiently.

Nothing happened.

She waited.

And then…

It shuddered.

Tam reappeared laying beside it gasping on the ground, but otherwise unharmed.

“So it was harder to do than you thought?” Eli speculated casually.

Tam managed to look up at her, still breathing heavily, and unable to answer as a result.

Eli scratched her nose idly as she waited.

“You know… Some… Assistant’s… Offer their… employers water when they see them… like… this,” Tam finally said while pushing himself up into a sitting position.

“Most assistant’s don’t serve a lord with magic that is still a little unpredictable,” Eli reminded curtly.

Tam draped his arms over his knees and shook his head. “Holy antlers, that was difficult. Did it move at all?”

“It trembled a little, but that was it.”

“Damn. I was really hoping I could do more with it.” Tam hung his head, his breathing still quick.

Eli stared pensively at the bucket. “Can you make other things disappear without touching them?”

Squinting against the sun as he stared up at Eli, Tam processed her question before responding.

“Never tried.”

“Could you try?”

“Now?” Tam’s note of exasperation was not lost on Eli.

“Unless you’re too weak of course. My lord.”

“How many people know that you are actually a very cold-hearted woman?”

Eli’s mouth twisted to the side briefly before saying, “Two? Everyone else just thinks I’m the perfect professional.”

Tam gave a breathy laugh, then pushed himself up to his feet before looking back down at the bucket. Closing his eyes, Eli waited. She knew he was centering himself. Feeling out his power… A deeper sense in Eli suddenly bristled.

Then, a small black dot appeared in the air six feet to her left.

Stepping back in alarm, Eli watched as it started to expand. It stretched wider, and wider, it’s blackness consuming her view.

“Tam, Tam whatever you’re doing stop!” She grabbed his arm.

Tam’s eyes snapped open, and he jolted at the sight of the gaping hole in front of himself.

“I-I don’t know exactly how to-”

“Do something!”

“Give me a moment!” Tam closed his eyes.

The hole spread an additional two feet wide.

“You just made it bigger.”

Panic rose in Eli, there was a very alarming sense that the fabric of the world around her was about to dissolve entirely.

“Tam!”

The void rushed at them, and Eli gave a short shriek as she flinched against it. Her body hummed with tingling as the adrenaline made her prepare for the worst. When they were consumed however, Eli merely felt as though a cool breeze ruffle her air, though the loss of her surroundings made her dizzy, and her stomach clench…

Looking around herself, Eli gaped at the void she had heard so much about.

Nothing was beneath her feet, and she was surrounded by blackness… A light from an unknown source however illuminated Tam at her side. And he was also glowing. His eyes now open, his face shocked as he realized where they were, then he turned to look at her, appearing dumbfounded that he had managed to drag her there.

Eli cleared her throat that suddenly pooled with saliva as her head ached. “This is the strangest thing I’ve ever seen. And that… felt… disturbing. Almost like being squeezed through a tube and then evaporated. Oomph. The hangover isn’t… Helping matters…”

Tam seemed to only be half listening, however, as he looked down at himself.

A golden, almost orange hue encompassed his entire being.

“Gods. I almost look like my sister,” he murmured to himself softly.

Eli would’ve asked what he meant, but a cold, telling flush swept over her. “Tam… If I… vomit… in here… Where will it go?”

Evidently caught off guard by the question, as well as the fact that he was just jarred out of his thoughts by an unexpected question, Tam didn’t give any kind of reply.

Sadly, Eli couldn’t wait for one either as she doubled over, and emptied the contents of her stomach all over the nothing-ground.

*

And that was how both Tam and Eli learned first hand, that puking in the void was somewhat like getting sick in the normal world, only you then knew that in some corner of everything on a Zinferan raspberry farm, there was a splatter of sick that was really difficult to find and clean up.

Eli also learned that spicy soup going down, actually hurt quite a lot coming back up.