Tam stared at his reflection and let out a disgruntled sigh.

It was the morning after the coronation, and after a long, remarkably undisturbed sleep, the future duke took stock of his new appearance in the light of day.

There had been a number of reasons that he had kept his hair long since he was fourteen.

The first of which being it helped obscure his sight. For another, it wasn’t a popular style, and so it had done a wonderful job of deterring the first wave of young women who could become interested in him.

As noblewomen had aged and married around him, however, and news of inheriting the dukedom spread, he had started to look incredibly appealing… Though the rumors that circulated about his courtship with the current queen of Troivack back when she was a princess of Daxaria had briefly helped prolong his ineligibility as many people wondered how Alina could have chosen a gruff man like Brendan Devark over him, and therefore assumed something was terribly wrong with Tamlin Ashowan.

Tam had known his hair wasn’t going to be as effective a shield as it once had been now that it was far more imminent that he may be inheriting his father’s titles, so he wasn’t feeling too terrible about having to have it cut the previous night, but seeing himself without it felt… exposing.

His high cheek bones could be seen, his almond shaped, cat like eyes, his mouth full, but shaped like his mother’s, his nose long like his father’s… He ran his hand through his hair that was only a few inches long, pushing it back away from his face before he accidentally grazed the burn on the back of neck.

Flinching, Tam was just making a mental note to keep a jar of salve on him when the door to his chamber opened, and given that there hadn’t been a knock beforehand meant it could only be one particular person.

Kat.

She stared at him, her golden eyes glinting, and without a trace of any smile or mirth in her face. She wore brown trousers and a white tunic, as was her usual, though she wore her hair braided and pinned in a low bun which was not her norm.

Kat closed the door quietly behind herself, which was all the more disturbing as she stepped over to him, and stopped before her brother, folding her arms.

“What the hell, Tam?”

“I didn’t tell them to set me on fire.”

Kat didn’t say anything.

Which continued to make the situation increasingly unnerving. Kat rarely managed her emotions when it came to him, and she most definitely wasn’t the shy type who’d hold back on calling someone out or cussing at them…

“Why did you do that to Hannah?”

Tam blinked. “If you saw Mr. Howard and Hannah together would you have kept that to yourself?”

“Hannah has been a good friend to us. Yes, I would’ve.”

“She didn’t have to reveal it. She could’ve just trusted me.”

“Why would she trust you?” Kat asked coldly.

Tam frowned. “Why wouldn’t she?”

“Because she doesn’t know you. No one does. Not even me. Not really, and you wanted her to reveal it, you goaded her on and you were an arsehole about it. I thought you were the more mature one between the two of us.”

It was the first time Kat had ever shunned Tam like that, and so he found himself unable to speak.

“You’re right. I’ll apologize to Hannah.” He nodded his agreement, acknowledging he was in the wrong.

“You still haven’t answered. Why’d you do it? Did you honestly think it would be funny to laugh at something so personal getting ousted publicly?”

“Everyone is plenty fine sharing my own personal business and having a laugh or telling me what I should do. I’ll admit I was in the wrong, but I don’t think it’s right that my own boundaries get disrespected and I’m expected to just shrug it off either.”

Kat raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “We do it because we care. You did it to be vindictive.”

“Oh really? Everyone talks about my every move, and judges my every word all the time and says what they wish about me. You and everyone else do it because I’m easy to look down on– and I didn’t oust Hannah to be vindictive by the way. I did it because I wasn’t thinking and I can be an idiot. It runs in the family. You of all people should know.”

The Daxarian queen’s eyes narrowed, then she turned around and stalked toward the door.

Tam didn’t call after her, and instead looked toward his coat that he would pull on to go to the castle for his meeting with the coven leader.

“Da already talked to Louise Riddel, and she’s aware that it was a slip of the tongue on Eli’s side. You just head to Xava as planned to avoid anyone in Daxaria finding out and alerting Zinfera learning that you’re on your way.”

Tam squared himself toward his sister, even though she kept her back to him. “Kat, I honestly might have had enough of Daxaria. If I don’t come back, keep an eye on mum and da.”

The queen didn’t fully turn around, but she did meet her brother’s gaze.

“I hope you grow up, Tam. And stop being such a coward. Just because you learned how to do paperwork hasn’t changed that, and now you’re dragging my boys into acting as your shield and excuse to run away like I used to be, so if you want to stay away? Go ahead. You have my blessing.”

“Yesterday you told me how glad you were I’d still be here while you rule.”

“Yesterday you hadn’t hurt my friend and endangered my children.” Kat’s tone was emotionless. “If you weren’t my brother, you don’t want to know what I would do to you.”

“I never knowingly put them in danger. I seriously never thought they would take it that far. Kat, you need to at least believe that about me. Make whatever assumptions you will about the rest of my flaws, but I would never put those boys in harm’s way. I’d do anything for them.”

Kat continued gazing at her brother, and as she did so an ounce of her anger subsided.

She didn’t have to say anything, Tam could tell in her face she knew that he was being completely honest.

“Did you take a carriage or ride here?” Tam asked while retrieving his cream colored coat and pulling it on. “I still have to go to the castle to talk to Hannah before leaving anyway.”

“Rode here,” Kat retorted tersely.

“Right. I’ll take the carriage. I’ll make it up to Hannah, Kat. I promise.”

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The queen’s hands clenched at her sides, and she at last chose to face him directly instead of storming out. “I know you will. You’re acting like an arse. You haven’t completely turned into one just yet. But Tam, I am worried you’re turning into a bitter old man the more you push people away. You’re going to die alone at this rate.”

Tam bit back his usual responses to such concerns, and considered his sister’s sincere worries for a moment. Of everyone in his life, he had always felt closest with her… His twin.

“Kat, you used to have trouble letting people in. You would only admit stuff to me, so… How did you get past that?”

The queen’s face softened and she looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “Eric wore me down? No. That’s not it. I guess… I kept being placed in vulnerable situations, and I couldn’t get off with my usual tricks. If I was immature, I hurt those around me in a very serious way, and I started to see how closing myself off was hurting people I care about as opposed to protecting them like I wanted to. And when I let myself be open to them? I got stronger, too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not the most forthcoming, but I’ve found a balance.”

Listening intently, Tam nodded along, even though there were already too many differences between his own troubles with being a part of the world and his sister’s old ones for it to be of much help to him…

“I know you’re different than me. You’re hiding because you’re scared of your magic. Whereas I had my own reasons. Though I do find it curious you only started acting out when that new assistant of yours joined you. Is Eli a bad influence?” Kat wondered while only slightly jesting.

Tam snorted. “I’m in a bad mood because of the coven and my pride has taken a lot of beatings. Eli just happened to be nearby.”

Kat gave a partial shrug as Tam made his way over to her side.

“I am sorry about last night, Kat. I really hope the boys are alright.”

She sighed. “They are. The mischievous good-hearted monsters are just worried about your juvenile arse.”

Tam grinned. “I’ll write them as often as I can while I’m away.”

“You better.”

Tam reached out and opened the door for his sister, gesturing her through, but the Daxarian queen hesitated as she regarded Tam seriously yet again.

“Were you serious about not wanting to be in Daxaria?”

Tam lowered his eyes, his slight smile turning sad. “I might. Everyone here already has their impressions of me, and… It’d be nice not to already have everyone assume things because of our father, or you.”

“Or because of certain rumors that someone started all on their own?” Kat mused dryly.

“They already were thinking those kinds of things anyway, I just wanted confirmation.”

“Why?”

Tam let out a defeated chuckle, and reached up to rub the back of his neck as he pondered the answer, only to accidentally agitate his burn and jolt as a result forcing him to drop it away again.

“I guess I was hoping I’d changed their idea of me over the past seven years. Turns out first impressions are hard to shake.”

“You and I have that in common at least. Maybe this trip is exactly the opportunity you need to reinvent yourself!” Kat speculated cheerily while patting her brother on the back.

Tam tilted his head, the familiar churn of anxiousness burbling in his belly.

“I hope so.”

“You may be a coward, but you’re smart. I’ll give you that. If I figured it out? You can, too.” Kat exited the chamber into the hallway and started heading toward the staircase with her brother close behind.

While in the past when they’d hurl hurtful words out of anger, justified or not, at each other and they’d not speak for days, that was one way the siblings had grown up. They tried to not let the hardships of life come between them…

Especially if the one or both of them were in the wrong, and owned up to it.

It was a silent agreement they seemed to have developed in light of the birth of Katarina’s children, though only Tam knew the reason for it.

***

Tam yawned as the carriage rocked its way down the road out of Austice, night had already fallen by the time he had finished apologizing to Hannah and Mr. Howard. After that ordeal, he had then gotten reamed out again by his parents, and a colorful bruise on his arm from Hannah that still throbbed and reminded him not to lapse into inconsiderate behavior again.

His parents were traveling to see him off in the carriage just ahead as they were going to begin their tour of the Daxarian offices they’d established for the Coven of Wittica once he departed.

He and Eli rode alone.

All in all, it’d been a terrible day, and Tam knew he had deserved it. Though he had received confirmation from Louise Riddel that she would also be interested to hear from the other covens whether or not they had any thoughts on witches taking positions of power in the kingdom.

Kat had asked him earlier why he had done what he’d done to Hannah. It was out of character to push the line so much… And he truly hadn’t done it to get back at Hannah for telling on him about the office wall incident…

Tam stared at Eli’s sleeping face.

Luckily, Eli hadn’t been privy to his many lectures and punishments, and it had been during his father’s declaration of his disappointment during one of the many reprimands that it had dawned on Tam why he had done such a thing.

He’d always been overlooked, or taken lightly. Treated as though he were broken…

But to have someone work closely with him and see how little power he had? How ineffective he was…? For someone to see and spend time with him before any of his other family members– which had almost never happened– and then for them to witness how people truly saw him, had Tam feeling awful. Pointless. And it had brought forward a repressed thought from long ago that had made him act without thinking. Which hurt good people and made him feel even worse.

Tam closed his eyes and did his best to take a deep breath to calm down.

While he wished his sister’s optimistic thoughts would prove true and that he’d be able to overcome his troubles, or at the very least he’d earn a new reputation for himself where he could successfully live up to the Ashowan name, he was sincerely doubtful. As a result, the idea of starting over in a foreign land where there were no expectations of him, and he had no one to fail at protecting, started to sound incredibly idyllic…

Besides, it wasn’t like anyone really counted on him to be there anyway.