I wake up. The tree I attacked rises between my legs like a penis. I chuckle at the thought until I recalled the dream and cringed. It didn’t seem reasonable for my brain to do that to me. Wasn’t it a part of me? Shouldn’t that make it my friend? If it was, it wouldn’t make me picture myself eating poop. Was my brain my enemy now? Was it going to jump out of my skull and attack me with a bunch of tentacles? I shouted at my brain. HEY YOU! STOP MAKING ME PICTURE MYSELF EATING POOP! YES YOU! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

Having confronted my enemy, my brain, I get up, pull my body into a lotus position, and start repeating my positive affirmation as per usual. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find a way out of this world. I will find....

I stop as my mind gets distracted by a certain thought. What if it wasn’t my brain that did this? It could be the Pink Gods. Perhaps they’re trying to mix things up for their audience. Yes, watching me perform all kinds of disturbing acts in my nightmares must be superb entertainment for those perverts. My zookeepers must be capable of sending in little xamferams down and these devices hit me with their laser beams. I’ll have so, so many nightmares; an endless amount of nightmares! And each one will be worse than the next! Like, they’ll have me slaughtering and eating innocent children or drowning in a sea of piss! And then they’ll force me to eat an everything bagel! Ew! And their ravenous audience is gonna watch all of it.

Then these nightmares will cause me to go insane and I will end up as something that isn’t me anymore. I will be gone. I will, essentially, die; die, die, die, die, and die! I’ll end up as a slobbering, gibbering mess on the grass like a Little Friendlies doll running low on batteries whom a pet crocodile ate and then vomited back up into the sink disposal and the poor doll got its limbs stuck. Those Pink God bastards will love to see it, because my torture is their entertainment

And this will just keep going on and on forever because I’m immortal. No, maybe not. People can become bored by celebrities, right? That should happen to me and then they’ll peacefully send me back to Earth. So I just have to wait. And maybe if I give myself permanent scars with tree branches, I won’t be as likable, so they will send me home early.

No, it can be that easy. They must have the technology to erase scars or do plastic surgery. Heck, they may even be capable of rewriting my DNA. Or maybe they care SO LITTLE for me, they’ll end up “remaking” me in a more painful way. They can RIP OFF MY SKIN AND REPLACE IT or they can STRETCH ME UNTIL I’M INCREDIBLY TALL. Then they’ll use their xamferams to delete any memories that I have of that... that TORTURE. Yes, they don’t want their star becoming TOO insane, don’t they?

Of course, they’ll still need to fill in the gaps of my memory. Because THEY KNOW I’LL KNOW SOMETHING’S UP! THEY’LL KNOW I’LL COME A-SNIFFIN’. So they’ll just need to use those devices to add memories too. They can probably make me become a WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON as well. I could become one that DOESN’T GO A-SNIFFIN’. I’m just like that now because they haven’t caught it yet. BUT THEY PROBABLY WILL FIGURE IT OUT SOON. THEN THEY’LL CHANGE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME AGAIN!

And if they can do that, they’ll do that AGAIN AND AGAIN into eternity. Perhaps they’ve already done it SEVERAL TIMES BEFORE AND I’M NOT EVEN WHO I STARTED OUT AS. Haha! And you know what ELSE they could’ve done? THEY COULD’VE ALSO INSERTED ALL MY MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY AND CLIENTS! MAYBE EARTH ISN’T EVEN A REAL PLACE AND I’M JUST SOMETHING THEY CREATED FROM RANDOM ALIEN CREATURE PIECES. AND IF ALL THAT’S TRUE, THEY COULD’VE ALSO INSERTED IDEAS ABOUT MY RITUALS AND POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...... HAHAHAHAHAHA.... HA.... HEHHEHHEH.... ha.....

...

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No...no...that can't be how it is. The Earth in my memories is a planet with blue skies, green plants, and gray mountains. And EFOP, what I assume to be their interpretation of Earth, certainly doesn't look like that. If they gave me manufactured memories of Earth, wouldn't Earth look pink? Yes, yes, Earth would totally look pink if they made it up. That has to be the case!

They shouldn’t know about positive affirmations either. The Pink Gods seem to believe that torture is entertainment. Thus, the concept of positivity may be just as alien to them; so, so, so, so, so alien. So alien! So very alien. It’s so alien that even the thought of it makes them get a heart attack.

But it doesn't matter if Earth and positive affirmations are something that the Pink Gods made up. Positive affirmations can still work.

YES, POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS STILL WORK!!! I CAN FEEL HOW WORKFUL THEY ARE WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING! And you already know how good of a feeler I am. So I can just use them to make an Earth that contains all of my family members. In fact, WITH ENOUGH EFFORT AND BELIEF, I CAN MAKE EARTH REAL RIGHT NOW!!!!

EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL! EARTH IS REAL!

AND THE PINK GODS WILL HAVE TO SEND ME HOME! YES, THEY'LL GET BORED OF ME EVENTUALLY. NO MATTER HOW MANY REBOOTS THEY DO, THEY'LL RUN OUT OF GOOD IDEAS. I'LL BECOME THE EQUIVALENT OF WATCHING BOOGERS DRY ON A CHAIR AT THE DMV. WHEN THAT HAPPENS, THEY'LL JUST DROP ME BACK ON THE EARTH THAT I'VE CREATED BECAUSE KILLING ME WILL BE HARDER. THEY'LL HAVE TO CLEAN OFF ALL MY PEOPLE GOO. YES, THIS IS THE REAL WAY IT WILL BE. I CAN MAKE THEM PROMISE ME RIGHT NOW THAT THEY'LL SET ME FREE! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL SET ME FREE!!! THE PINK GODS WILL Set Me Free!!! The Pink Gods Will Set Me Free!!! The Pink Gods will set me free!!! The Pink Gods will set me free!!! The Pink Gods will set me free!!! The Pink Gods will set me free. The Pink Gods will set me free. The Pink Gods will set me free.

...

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Well, there should be some empathetic Pink Gods. A society can’t function without at least some of its members feeling the pain of others. Beings have to trust each other to work together and not wanting to hurt each other because they can feel their pain leads to trust. And the Pink Gods have to have a functional society if they made such an advanced zoo environment as this. So some of them must be empathetic and those same people must think that it’s wrong for me to stay in this cage. Those Pink Gods have protested my captivity ever since they put me in this cage. And I can join them in their protests.

I get up and yell at the sky. YOU'RE SO CRUEL! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! DON'T YOU HAVE A HEART OR SOMETHING SIMILAR TO IT?!?!? Many of you MUST feel bad about this!!! Take the weight of your conscience off your shoulders and make me as free as, well, freedom! Tell my zookeepers to just let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!...Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!........Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!...............Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!............................ Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!...................................... Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! ........................................................................................................................................................................................................................ Let me go!............................................................................................................ Let me go!.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! Let me go....

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It's not working! WHY IS IT NOT WORKING?!?! No, it doesn't matter if the Pink Gods will release me or not. I can make a door to home appear. Yes, I've been doing my rituals enough. I have enough of a connection with EFOP that its elements will obey me without question, like a starving dog in need of the meat from the rare Bawean warty pig. I just need to command it with the right thing to say. Yes, my brain will tell me what I need to do because I know now that it's on my side. Sorry for the accusations earlier, old buddy Brainy. Please give me a new positive affirmation that I can use to command this world. I close my eyes. The perfect positive affirmation appears. I shout it to the heavens.

A A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. 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A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. Cough! Cough! A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. Cough! Cough! A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. Cough! Cough! A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. A DOOR TO HOME WILL APPEAR. Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! I gasp for air, but continue. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. Cough! Cough! Stop! STOP THIS NONSENSE RIGHT NOW, THROAT! A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. Cough! Cough! A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. Cough! Cough! A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. Cough! Cough! A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! STOP! YOU'RE STRONGER THAN THIS, YOU DARN MEAT TUBE! A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! Gasp! Gasp! Gasp! A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. Cough! Cough! Gasp! Cough! Gasp! Cough! Cough! Gasp! A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! Cough! Cough! A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. A door to home will appear. Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp!

I fall to my knees and continue coughing and gasping for breath. Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Cough! Cough! Cough!

.......Huh!.......... Huh! Huuuuuh!.......... Huh! Huuuuuh!......... Huh! Huuuuuh!.......... Huh! Huuuuuh!....................................................................................................................................................................................................... Huh! Huuuuuh!......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... Huh!Huuuuuh! .................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... Huh!Huuuuuh! ......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I look up and around. No door has appeared. That's okay! THAT'S PERFECT, ACTUALLY! Yes, that's NO PROBLEM AT ALL!!! I just need to say something else. Come on, Brainy! You got this! YOU TOTALLY GOT THIS! Give me another, more appropriate phrase.

The door to home is there. The door to home is there. The door to home is there. The door to home is there. Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! The door to home is there. The door to home is there. The door to home is there. The door to home is there. Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! Gasp! The door to home is there. The door to home is there. The door to home is there. The door to home is there. Gasp! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Cough! Cough! The door to home is there. The door to home is there. The door to home is there. The door to home is there. Cough! Cough! Gasp! Cough! The door to home is there. The door to home is there. The door to home is there. The door to home is there. Cough! Cough! Cough! THE DOOR TO HOME IS THERE! THE DOOR TO HOME IS THERE! THE DOOR TO HOME IS THERE! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! THE DOOR TO HOME IS THERE! THE DOOR TO HOME IS THERE! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! THE DOOR TO HOME IS THERE!

Cough! Gasp! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! Cough! Cough!Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! No! Cough! Cough! Gasp! It has to be another one! I just have to use another one! Come on, brain! Think! Give me the right one this time!

I'm not here, I'm home. Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! I'm not here, I'm home. Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! Gasp! I'm not here, I'm home. Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! I'm not here, I'm home. I'm not here, I'm home. Cough! Cough! Gasp! Gasp! I'm not here, I'm home. Cough! Cough! Cough! Cough! I'm....not here...I'm home. Cough! Cough! Gasp! Cough! Cough! I'm.... cough... not here.... cough... cough... gasp... I'm home! I'M NOT HERE, I'M HOME! I'M NOT HERE, I'M HOME! Gasp! Gasp! Gasp! I'M NOT HERE, I'M HOME!

I pass out.

....

When I wake up, I remember my failure. I lay on the grass and look up at the sky for some time. So that's it, then? I'm just here for entertainment and won't ever escape?

I mean, I suppose that's not awful. So many people can only dream about being an entertainer, even a not-so-famous one (though I don't know how 'famous' I am in Pink God Land). And I'm making people happy. That makes it a noble enough profession, right? It's noble enough to make sacrificing myself to the insanity the dreams are going to cause worthwhile. And before that, I'll have some reason for being and that'll make me feel better. Having that makes people happy, right? Right? Right? Right?...