“Move and die.”

Neither Joshua—nor Sin, who only stopped pecking at the stone door the man had escaped through when it heard someone unfamiliar speak—had detected the newcomer until it was too late and the axe was already at Joshua’s neck.

The figure moved slowly around him until she could see his face, and he hers, her blade in danger of cutting through his skin as she repositioned herself while keeping the weapon against his throat. “Where are you holding them?” she asked without preamble.

She wore a dark top that covered from her neck down to her hips where a belt with several pouches secured a black skirt that stopped just above sturdy leather boots that came to her midthigh. The ensemble made her hard to see in the dim light.

Even her axe was black.

In contrast to everything else, her hair was a pale bright blonde cut in a practical bob that went just below her chin, her bangs short enough to not get into eyes which glared hatred at him. The softness of her face contrasted greatly with those eyes—not to mention the giant black axe she held easily to his throat.

Joshua swallowed, feeling his Adam’s apple move under the blade.

"Wow, okay I realize this looks really bad, but it isn’t what it looks like. I’m innocent.”

“Innocent? Then why are you covered in dried blood and gore?”

“That is a short but complicated story. The one who did this took off through that door.” Joshua only dared motion with his eyes. The giant axe against his neck made any other movement unwise.

She continued to glare at him. It was clear she did not believe what he was saying.

“Honestly, you have the wrong guy. Scary guy in weird dark armor, right? That’s who you’re looking for? You just missed him.” He looked at the door again. “Right through there. He actually like phased through it. It was pretty weird. Cool, but weird.”

She squinted at him suspiciously, then at the body of the woman, at the unihorn beside it. “How did you kill her with that? You’re a White.”

“You’re white,” he retorted, with just a little bit of sass. “Sort of.”

“Are you blind and stupid? I’m a Gray.”

“That’s harsh. You have a nice complexion.”

“What is wrong with you?”

“I wish I knew.”

“If you’re not one of them, then what are you doing here?”

“Trying not to have my intestines messed with.”

“What?”

“It’s a long story.” He thought about this for a moment. “Well actually, it’s really not. Basically, there was a kobold and goblin and they were talking about doing horrible things to intestines. I still can’t believe they’re real.” He shook his head, regretted it when he felt the axe bite into his neck. “You mind?” he asked, wincing.

She pulled the axe away from his neck, but kept it in a ready grip. “You can’t believe intestines are real?”

“Goblins and kobolds. Though now that you mention it, intestines are quite weird.”

“As are you.”

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“Not as weird as this world.” He rubbed at his neck and came away with a spot of blood. “Now you know what I’m doing here, what are you doing here?”

She raised an eyebrow. “That’s quite a bit of gall for a White.”

“I keep meaning to look up what that means. It’s a rank? Nothing to do with skin color?”

“What does your aura have to do with your skin?”

“What’s an aura?”

She stared down at him in disbelief, lowering her axe without seeming to notice. “Truly, what is wrong with you? You do not know what an aura is?”

“Nope. I mean, I know the word, but I’m trying not to make assumptions. I’m new here.” He beamed at her, and, axe no longer at his throat, took the opportunity to get to his feet. He held out his hand. “Joshua. Joshua Baxter. I even have the same initials as him.”

She looked at his hand, then up at his face. “What? Who?”

“Bond. James Bond.” He frowned, lowering his hand. “Crap, I guess I got it backwards. That’s probably why you didn’t recognize it. Nothing to do with being in another world.”

A pecking sound suddenly started up, and both turned to the door.

Sin, apparently uninterested in Joshua’s fate, or certain he at least was no longer in immediate danger of dying, had once again begun pecking at the stone door.

“What is that bird doing?”

“He’s persistent. Like me. Actually, I’m not sure if it’s a he or she. Don’t know how to tell on birds.”

“If you weren’t a White, I’d kill you. Your breed of crazy shouldn’t be allowed to propagate.”

“Well that’s quite impolite. I even complimented your complexion.”

She shook her head. “I’ve wasted enough time on you.” She headed for the stone door, her axe melting and forming around her forearm, turning into a matte black bracer.

“Wow that was awesome,” Joshua muttered to himself.

She either didn’t hear him or ignored him and began to examine the door.

Joshua took the opportunity to quickly stash the unihorn in his inventory, swapping it with the dead woman’s slip and using it to cover her body.

As he did, he noticed for the first time that there were symbols engraved in the floor and beds. Despite his guide, he wasn’t able to read these.

He tried casting Identify on them, but got that hollow echo inside of him instead of an answer.

Shrugging, he bent to pick up the ‘ring’ he’d looted from the overseer.

He wished he had a bigger inventory so things wouldn’t just appear at his feet.

“Need more shards,” he muttered.

He examined the ring, casting Identify on it.

[Ring of Deception]

(adornment)

A plain-looking ring.

Active Effect: Swap the appearance of any two objects, living or inanimate.

“Huh, maybe it wasn’t a fling gone wrong. That would explain the daemon shard. Maybe she was being chased and threw it to create a distraction with the scornweaver, then took off her robe to create another, and took off the rest of her clothes to swap her appearance with to fool her pursuer? Who I’m guessing was that guy in black armor? But, she was a slaver. So, is he like the good guy? That’s unexpected and confusing.”

Axe Girl turned her attention from the door and squinted at him. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“No. I’m thinking out loud. I find it easier to keep my train of thought that way. Otherwise I go off on long mental tangents and forget what I was originally thinking about and then I have to try to backtrack my thoughts but that can lead to the same problem, where like, yeah, I’m going backwards, but that also makes me think of other things and now I have multiple directions of lost thoughts.”

“I don’t think talking helps as much as you think it does.”

“Oh, you should see what it looks like when I don’t.”

“I’d rather not.” She looked at the corpse and frowned. “Why did you cover her?”

“Uh, decorum?”

“You are very strange.”

He shrugged. “It’s a character flaw.”

She returned her attention to the door.

As he watched her examine it, he began to wonder a few things. First and foremost, he wondered what if anything she was wearing under that skirt. Second, and probably more relevantly, he wondered if she was evil. Just because she was cute, did not mean she was harmless. This was apparently a fantasy world after all, one with attacking plants, vicious rabbits, and creatures obsessed—gastronomically or otherwise—with intestines.

I wonder… he thought as he stared at her. He looked down at himself, then back up at her, then slid the Ring of Deception onto his wrist.

He waited, ready to pull it off again if he got dizzy like with the mantle, but he felt nothing. Since it was only special quality, he wasn’t expecting problems, and he was glad to have his expectation fulfilled.

Then he considered how to activate the ring, and, as usual, his guide activated it at that mere thought.

The girl cried out in surprise and spun to face him.

Except, it wasn’t the girl. It was his own face that glared back at him.