Joshua had been following the raised path above the underground tributary for less than a minute when he spotted something lying on the ground ahead.

He approached, the soles of his Crocs doing little to cushion his feet from the uneven surface.

[Scornweaver Daemon Shard]

(shard)

The echo of a [Scornweaver].

Depleted. Needs recharging.

“That’s too bad. Scornweaver sounds like it could do some damage. And ultra-rare and epic.”

For some reason, he couldn’t call up an image of the daemon, nor its stats.

“Uh, is this broken?”

You are currently unable to use [Scornweaver Daemon Shard]

“Well yeah, it’s depleted, but why can’t I see its stats?”

You are currently unable to use [Scornweaver Daemon Shard]

Shrugging, he put the shard in his inventory. A problem for later.

A few feet beyond where the shard had lain was another item.

[Scornweaver Robes]

(clothing)

Fine robes crafted from the blood of a scornweaver. Resilient to blunt damage.

Passive Effect: Conform to the wearer’s affinities.

Active Effect: Discard to cause robes to temporarily take on the form of a scornweaver.

“Huh. It’s made of blood? Weird.”

It appeared items could have effects.

He wondered if he could only see that because he’d upgraded his Identify spell.

He held out the robe in front of him.

It looked distinctly feminine. Not just in design, but in cut as well, which was an obvious hourglass shape.

He wasn’t against looking ridiculous for better stats, but it was too small for him to wear, so he stored it in his inventory for now.

He squinted in suspicion, noticing more discarded clothing on the path ahead. “Did someone come down here to get frisky? Maybe this was the girl the kobold smelled.”

He followed the trail of clothing, picking up items as he went, which included a slip that had no special properties, followed by something like an armored bra, which didn’t look very practical.

[Blightfiend Chest Support]

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

(clothing)

A supportive garment.

Passive Effect: Eliminate weight of supported body parts.

Active Effect: Change size and shape at will.

“Maybe practical wasn’t its purpose.”

He continued on, the rush of water getting louder as he moved what felt distinctly like deeper into the dungeon.

The next item he came across was a cloak that very much piqued his interest.

[Mantle of the Tarnis Vo Executioner]

(clothing)

The mantle of the end of mortal life.

Active Effect: Execute

“Execute? Does that mean what it sounds like?”

He tried focusing on the effect and casting Identify, but felt it fail with that same hollow thud he’d felt when he’d tried actively casting his passive spell Grand Purpose.

It was both hood and cloak, so it was weird that whoever had discarded it had taken it off after the robe, slip, and bra.

Maybe she’d been going the other direction?

No, that wouldn’t make sense either, because it would mean she’d taken off the robe last, somehow removing chest support and slip first.

Weird. It wasn’t impossible to imagine, just strange. Maybe she hadn’t been alone and was teasing someone?

Joshua shrugged. “Eh, whatever. I’m more Bond than Holmes.”

He held up the mantle to study it.

It had a clasp to hold it in place around one’s neck that looked like metal but felt like air, or solid water.

Not ice, just water that was solid.

The rest of the cloak was made of a material that he had a hard time identifying. It was soft, yet textureless. Like, liquid water? But, not wet, nor slick. It was hard for him to pin down quite exactly how it felt.

Unlike the robe, this didn’t look at all feminine, nor though did it look masculine. It was quite long, as though it had been made for someone at least seven-feet tall.

As Joshua stared at it, he began to notice swirls of… something dancing through the fabric.

He wasn’t sure if he was seeing what he thought, or if it was just some optical illusion from the dim light and the humidity in the air from the stream below.

Whatever the case, he wasn’t going to pass up the chance to use a legendary relic. He had no idea how good that was, but it sounded awesome.

So he swung the mantle over his shoulders with a huge grin, and flipped the hood up. “Now all I need is a lightsaber.” But as he was latching it in place with the strange warm-ice latch, he felt suddenly dizzy.

Taking it off, he frowned at it.

Then he tried putting it on again.

This time the dizziness slammed into him and he nearly lost his footing despite standing perfectly still.

He yanked the item off. After a few seconds, the dizziness abated.

“Yeah, maybe don’t go donning random magical items I come across.”

Sin pecked the side of his head in agreement.

“I haven’t really thought of this until now, but are there requirements to use certain items?”

At your current Rank, you may use items with Quality Special and below.

This limitation may or may not apply to artifacts and relics, or items with special runes, scripts, bindings, or enchantments.

“May or may not, huh? That’s… not that helpful. But hey, I guess you answered me. Looks like that upgrade actually is paying off.”

Joshua stowed the mantle in his inventory and continued on, coming across another item after rounding a slight bend: a pair of soft shoes that were common and had no special effects.

These signaled the end of the clothing trail, as further progress was barred by a door set into a stone wall.

It was large and wooden, and weathered to such a degree that it looked as though it had stood here for a thousand years.

Its handle was equally worn, and though as sturdy looking as the door itself, was just an ordinary doorknob.

The door wasn’t exactly the only way forward. The stream still flowed below, though the path Joshua was on was now a good twenty feet above the surface. The water seemed much deeper and also flowed even faster than it had before, and he could hear a faint crashing sound in the distance, echoing up to him.

Not wanting to find himself shot off a waterfall, he decided to see what was behind the door.

Bracing himself for what he might find, he stowed the slippers in his inventory. He had room, so why not keep them? Together they took only one slot despite there being two of them. He was pretty sure when he’d tested out his inventory with his Croc, only one had fit. Maybe he had to put them in together to be recognized as a pair?

He knew it would bug him until he tested out the theory, so he took off his Crocs and tried putting one in, then the other. Only the first one went into the cube he was aiming for, the second being pulled toward an empty cube.

Next he tried holding them together, and this time they went into one slot.

“Huh. Good to know I guess.”

He put his Crocs back on, then stared at the door.

Sin pecked his head.

“Yeah yeah, I’m going.

He took the doorknob in one hand, unihorn clutched in the other, and steeled himself.

“I get the feeling I’m about to walk in on something that, depending on the participants, I may or may not want to witness. What are the odds I find a healing potion in here?”

Sin responded with a flutter of its wings.

“Nonzero? That’s… oddly specific, and yet completely unhelpful.”

Joshua turned the knob, the mechanism heavier than expected though not locked, and pushed open the door.

The room it let onto was dimly lit, but he had no trouble taking in the scene.

It was a spacious area, perhaps fifteen feet on a side across, and twenty-five or so long, the ceiling at least fifty feet overhead. The opposite end had another door, this one twice the size and made of stone rather than wood and had no obvious handle. The floor was also made of stone, though somewhat smoother than that of the door, as though it had been polished by its long use. The room itself was empty of furniture or decoration save for two rows of what looked like low stone beds that came to his shin.

Atop the farthest away of these, nearest to the stone door, was a man straddling a woman, as Joshua had suspected. And though her attire was as lacking as anticipated, what they were doing was not at all what he’d been expecting.