Chapter 6: Little Talks

Some days you wake up feeling better; others you just feel less bad.

Today, I woke to Rel’s fingers combing through my hair. it didn’t solve the lingering headache, but it helped. Made me feel more human through the persistent throbbing deep within my thigh.

Whether I slept on it wrong, or if running back and forth across Lady’s Port had pushed me past the limits of my endurance, I couldn’t say. Clearly though, the pain had evolved past what I could ignore. My penance for seizing the power I needed to strike down Hawkwright.

“How are you feeling, Mistress?”

I let out a humorless chuckle. “Better than yesterday, worse than last week.”

She frowned. “Via.”

I waved a hand. “My leg is getting worse and the entire town is a mess. That’s secondary though.”

Her frown deepened. “That should not be secondary, your health—”

“First,” I said. “I regret to inform you that I am irked with my lovely,” I squeezed her hand, “and wonderful girlfriend.”

That earned me a surprised blink. “You’re…mad at me?”

A droll smile slipped across my lips. “I thought you said my leg was more important.” I held up my hands. “No, no, I’m sorry. That was mean. Here, help me sit up.”

After Rel pulled me upright, I managed to settle back against the headboard and look her in the eye. Not that Relia wasn’t taller than me even when we were both sitting down, but it was the principle of the thing. I dared anyone to have a serious conversation while lying beneath their lover. It was plain distracting.

“I’m…not good at this.” I gestured between the two of us. “This people thing. So I’m just going to say what I think I need to say, and then we’ll go from there, kay?”

I immediately cringed at how wishy washy that sounded, but Rel just nodded, taking my hands. “I’m here for you.”

“You’re making it really hard to stay mad.”

“That would be my goal, yes?”

I laughed at her sly smirk, before taking a deep breath. “You undercut me yesterday,” I said. “I had a whole speech planned, and a clear setup for my first bit of capital punishment, and then you took my legs out from under me with a sledgehammer.

“It didn’t help that we ended up standing on that stage for hours yesterday, which is part of why my leg’s still fucked.” I patted my aching thigh. “But the leg isn’t why I’m upset. You’ve developed quite the habit of doing things without asking. If you wanted to challenge me, I’d ask that you do it directly.”

Rel ducked her head. “I’m…not trying to challenge you for anything.”

“That’s not what it feels like from where I’m standing.” I tilted my head back to look at the thatched roof. “I’ll admit, I was a grumpy little bitch after you crashed my party in Silverwall, but even if I think that choice was wrong, it worked out well enough in the end. This? I was right there, and you undercut my decision. I’m not sure what I’ll do if there’s a third time.”

She still couldn’t meet my eyes, but she still managed, “I learned my decisiveness from you, Mistress.”

That startled a laugh out of me. “Do you think I’d date myself?”

Her cheeks colored. “Who wouldn’t want to date you?”

I sighed, running a hand down my face. “It’s really hard to stay mad if you’re just gonna flatter me like that.”

“You could…not be mad,” Rel suggested.

I chewed on that for a second, turning over a few different responses in my head. Deciding I didn’t want to yell and scream.

I’d never gotten to this part.

“Fine.” I folded my arms across my stomach. “I said my bit, tell me why I shouldn’t be mad.”

Rel nodded several times. “You’re…too good to be true.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I just mentioned—”

“Not to me, I mean.” Rel coughed once, looking at the wall. “I mean to the people of Lady’s Port. Farmers mostly, from villages that Seneschal Hawkwright razed to the ground.”

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I waved a hand. Hawkwright’s mercenaries had certainly burned a few villages, and monsters fleeing from his guards had done the rest. That had little enough to do with me.

I imagined Hawkwright wasn’t genocidal before I showed up.

“You gave homes, food, opportunities. Things that people here have never seen,” Rel continued. “Many I’m sure think this town a miracle. Especially to be handed a new charter? I’ve never seen the senate recognize a new settlement; my Mother once told me that it hadn’t happened since her mother’s day.”

“That seems…stagnant.”

“It is the way things are.” Rel shrugged. “Or, the way things were before you. But these victories haven’t come without hardship. Your people know how to fend off lone monster attacks from the jungles, but a full stampede clean cuts the land from here to the Vecorvia.”

“Not quite what we faced.”

“If not for the fleet, most of Lady’s Port would have been leveled, even with your intervention.”

The assessment stung, but the stampede had ripped my waterwheel straight out of the palisade.

“Now, a fragile peace has been achieved. Now, your people finally believe in what you offer, my lady. But that belief is just as fragile. If you summarily executed a man for doing something as benign as renting—”

“He was taking advantage of children!”

“Mistress.” Rel squeezed my had. “I know it is a grave crime to you, but not to farmers who’ve always rented land from Silverwall, or sailors who serve under contract for their voyage. Few like those systems, but we are used to them. It will take yet more time before the people here know to expect anything else.”

“So, what?” I spread my arms. “If I killed him, would that undo everything I’ve built?”

“They would begin to fear, again.”

I huffed. “I’m fine with a little fear.”

“They wouldn’t just be afraid of you, Mistress. They would be afraid of what you might do next. If a man can be killed for doing what is normal, even if it isn’t kind, then who knows what you might chose to punish next.” Rel finally met my gaze. “Do you…want to be remembered as another tyrant? Because we would all serve a brilliant tyrant, but I—I don’t think that is what you want to build.”

I bit my lip.

I didn’t agree with her conclusion, that I’d become some despot just because I chose to protect children from some idiot leeching off my largess. But Rel was right, I hadn’t laid down any laws regarding the houses, too busy making sure that everyone just had a place to sleep.

The last thing I needed was people scared that my next act of caprice would end with their head on a pike. I needed them on my side, offering ideas, pitching in, or this whole town of mine would collapse under its own weight before it could finish rising to its feet.

“Fuck.” I ran a hand down my face. “Hate it when I’m wrong. Hate it, hate it, hate it.”

Rel leaned closer, and this time I opened my arms so she could lean against me. “How fortunate it happens so rarely.”

“Again with the flattery,” I muttered. “I’m not mad at you anymore.”

“My, so quickly?”

I chuckled. “I told I didn’t agree with you last time. This time I think I do.” I groaned, rubbing my face. “I’ve never had to write a system of laws before, Rel. I know I’m good at a lot of things but this isn’t one of them.”

I pushed myself upright, only for Rel to catch my shoulder. She pinned me against the bed, and my breath caught.

“Relia,” I said. “I don’t think we have time for this.”

She leaned in close, forehead pressed against mine. “I shall always have time for you, but for now, you said you had two more problems. Please, I’d like to hear them.”

I let out a breathless laugh. “Who are you, and what did you do with my stuttering assistant?”

“I’m just the lost girl you picked up off the street,” she replied.

“You were always more.”

Rel shook her head against mine. “Only as much as you made me.”

I let out a sigh, bringing up my arms to hug her. How could I reply to that. I—I was an engineer, what words could I put to the swelling in my chest? How could I make that into being in a way she could understand?

Rel hugged me closer. She said nothing, demanded nothing. I think I might have fallen in love with her for that alone.

Eventually, I found my ability to breathe again, and if my eyes were wet, Relia was kind enough not to mention it.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to walk today,” I said at length. When I flexed my leg, the pain started up again. I did not want to test it with my weight. “I’ve been pushing myself too hard. Haven’t had a chance to work on my armor, even.”

“Why haven’t you?” She asked.

“There are too many irons in the fire,” I replied. “Just getting our farmland producing, building enough housing…those two alone have taken up nearly all of my time.” I shrugged. “I set up a council to help me offload some of my own work, and they have, but damn if they haven’t made more for me with petty snipping and power plays.”

She frowned. “I didn’t know they were…”

“Disruptive?” I sighed. “Annoying? Petty?”

“A burden on you.”

“Hah.” I shrugged again. “At least I’m not spending all day drafting work schedules anymore. This housing block, though; no one likes my plan, and everyone wants me to help them more instead. I know a good compromise is supposed to leave everyone pissed, but I didn’t think it would be this annoying just getting to the compromise bit!”

“You’re under so much pressure.” She hugged me again. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice.”

I slumped against Rel’s shoulder. “It’s…I never made it to this part before. The ruling.”

“You’ve done so well.”

“Have I?” I shook my head. “You just finished telling me what a mess I’d made.”

“Not a mess,” Rel replied. “You would’ve fixed it.”

“Press X to doubt.”

She ignored my muttered non-sequitur with the ease of long practice. “I wish I could do more to support you, so you didn’t feel like you had to do everything alone. You deserve all the help I can offer. That we can offer, even.”

“Deserve?” I laughed. “Need, though, definitely.”

Rel combed her fingers through my hair again. This time, it did actually make me feel better.

“What would you have of me, Mistress?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I just don’t know.”

She nodded against me.

“Let me stay like this, for a bit.” I hated how weak my voice sounded. I hated how complex it all was. I wished I could reduce all of the complexity down to simple numbers and equations I could solve, instead of people.

“You’ll think of something, Via,” Rel said. “I know you will.”

A choked laugh escaped my throat. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Stay for a while.” She stroked up and down my back. “Nothing is beyond you, My Lady.”

I clutched her tighter, half giggling, half crying.

But in the face of her faith, I also believed.