Chapter 28: Pieces and Players

“Really?” Electra asked.

“No, really.” I gave a shrug. “It was actually a hell of a time filling out paperwork the one time I flew to El Salvador. No one ever told me the abbreviation for the United States was EEUU,” I said, sounding out the vowels.

“But what does that even stand for? Like, Estados doesn’t have two E’s.”

“Look who’s flexing her high school Spanish.”

Electra laughed. “Took French, actually.”

“Suddenly, you remembering Spanish makes much more sense.”

“Doesn’t it just?”

“Anyway, mi mama knew, but couldn’t tell me why. Turns out when the subject noun of an acronym is plural, you double the letters, so Estados Unidos?” I waved my hand “E, E, U, U.”

“Wild.” Electra pushed open the door to the inn we were staying at.

“And that’s the last time I ever flew commercial.” I followed after her, and she pushed the door shut quickly. We waited for a long moment.

The two of us had taken a meandering, circuitous route back through Silverwall, affecting nonchalance every step of the way. But if we’d been made, now would be the perfect time for our pursuers to pounce.

After a few moments of Silence, Electra and I relaxed in truth. “Looks like we’re goo—”

“Sea and Stars, what did you fuckers do?!”

We both spun. I sank to a knee, Electra slipping behind my more durable armored form as both of our arms came up.

In the middle of the room, Eloncio blinked at the red laser sight hovering on his forehead. Behind me, I heard the crackling pops of lightning dancing across Electra’s fingers.

“Uh…” The guard who’d smuggled us into Silverwall raised a finger. “Forget I said anything.”

I tilted my head back, sharking a glance with Electra. She shrugged. With a huff, I stood, shaking out my arms as I walked deeper into the room. “You should know better than to sneak up on people like that.”

Eloncio gave a maudlin sigh, returning to his seat at the stereotypical fantasy bar. “Heed your own council.” He tilted back his mug, taking a long pull of the piss-weak beer this place served. Dee and Dum loved it too, which gave me rodent related worries. “Every guard in the city was called up at midday. Had to turn my entire unit out to hear of some attack against labor camps near the lava mines.”

He gave the two of us a sideways glance.

“Labor.” I pulled up a chair. “Right.”

Electra waved over the innkeeper from the back room. The man was old, tottering, and hard of hearing, but he served both of us mugs of water quickly enough, which Electra purified with a few quick jolts of electricity.

At least the water was clear. Peasants and tradesmen wouldn’t pay for visibly tainted water, no matter what amateur historians on twitlock said.

“You’ve heard about what those camps were for,” I asked Eloncio at length.

The man looked down at his half-empty mug. “Only that I’ll be going out to guard them.”

I raised an eyebrow. Doubling down on security certainly made sense after Electra and I rolled one of the monster hunting camps over. I was expecting yet more mercenaries to plug the gaps, but it was nice to hear that there wasn’t an unlimited number of ex-adventurers turned bandit for Seneschal Hawkwright to exploit.

Aloud, I only said, “Bring some long spits. A friend told me it helps feed captured monsters without losing a hand.”

Eloncio said nothing, before finishing the rest of his beer with a single drink. “Should I thank you for the warning, or for landing me stuck in the mess to start with?”

“How about this.” I reached up, patting his shoulder with a smile. “Thank me for not attacking whatever camp you were sent to guard.”

He stared at me for several seconds, visibly working his jaw, before letting out another sigh. What a cheery guy. “There’s only gonna be one camp.”

I blinked.

“How’d Hawkwright tell you all of this without mentioning the monsters?”

He shrugged. “You don’t join the guard ‘cause you like knowing the fiddly details of your work.”

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

“No, I imagine not.” I bit my lip. “Still, that complicates things. Thanks for the information.” I took a sip of my own water. “Tell you what, we’ll let you know before we make a move, huh?” I nudged his elbow. “That way you can get you and your friends out.”

He rubbed his face. “Right into the jungle.”

I shrugged. “Any port in a storm?”

“You outworlders have the strangest sayings.” He pushed his mug down the counter and stood. “I won’t be able to help you anymore.”

What went unspoken was, ‘I won’t help you attack the camp full of monsters I’ll be living in’, which, you know, fair enough. He barely knew us and he’d already smuggled us into Silverwall for the sake of some old friends.

You had to know when to push people, as a Villain, but also when to let them walk away. So I just smiled, sipping at my water. “Don’t worry, we’ll be able to figure out the rest for ourselves. Just keep your head down, and we’ll make sure you keep your head to yourself.”

For some reason, that didn’t seem to calm him down. Still, he just gave a jerky nod before walking out of the bar, leaving me and Electra alone with an old man who I really hoped was as deaf as he acted.

The door thunked shut for the second time since our return.

“Man,” Electra said, “wish we could go back to swapping stories from Earth.”

“We knew they would respond,” I replied. She gave me a look, and I rolled my eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry, keep forgetting you come from the other side of the fence. When you hit someone, they shore up their defenses; it doesn’t matter if they're a cartel… or a local head of state.”

“Somehow,” she said, “I feel like you have more experience with both.”

“Most accomplished supervillain in the continental United States.”

She gave a short laugh. “Never thought that would help calm me down.” She rolled her shoulders, shaking out her messy blond hair. “So, what’s the plan, Boss?”

“Wait for Dee and Dum to get back, first,” I said. “We need more information. Eloncio told us a lot, but I need to know how many guards are being pulled out of the city, and where they’re coming from.”

“You think the twin peaks will be able to figure out more stuff than the guy who’s literally in the city guard?”

“You heard the man.” I spun a finger around the rim of my glass. “You don’t sign up because you want an in-depth breakdown of city security. I’m hoping the boys have a few other friends in the city who can give us a clearer picture.”

“And then once we figure out their defenses,” Electra continued, “we hit the camp again.”

I paused, turning to look my ally in her sharp blue eyes. I decided to delegate a bit.

“We won’t be hitting the camp.”

She blinked, “We won’t? Wasn’t the plan to take the rest of them out, so that they couldn’t overrun Lady’s Port?”

“That was the plan.” I drummed my fingers on the table. “Past tense.” I waved her closer. “Let me teach you a thing or two, my apprentice.”

Electra snorted. “I think Aegis gave me enough training on this sh—this stuff already, thanks.”

“Must be why I keep beating them.” I rolled my eyes. “Listen up, do you want to be part of the planning or not? Dios de mi vida, you and Rel were just convincing me to share some of this stuff, weren’t you?”

“Well, yeah.” She blinked. “I didn’t expect you to start offering advice like a villainous fortune cookie.”

“Never consume an energy field larger than your head.”

“What?”

While she was blinking at me in confusion, I flicked her nose. Electra jerked backwards, arms pinwheeling as she almost fell out of her chair.

“Villainy is all about the show.” I said, cutting her off as she regained her balance. “But any good stage performer will tell you the importance of misdirection.”

She huffed, crossing her arms. “Well, yeah, obvs. But you didn’t have to hit me.”

“You’d be surprised how many of my victories were based on that obvious observation.” I leaned over my cup. “When you’re the underdog, you can never meet your enemy’s strength with your own. Again, completely obvious.” I gave a self-depreciating smirk. “The trick is forcing yourself not to care.”

“Huh?” Electra blinked at my non sequitur.

“If your enemy has more power than you, more resources than you, more knowledge and expertise than you, the only thing you can do is not care. Once you’re unshackled from worries about what you’ll lose or what they’ll gain, you can rearrange the board however you like.” I took a drink of water. “Kick it over again and again, while they scramble to put the pieces back in order.”

“That’s a pretty cynical way to look at it, Em.” Electra leaned over. “Besides, don’t you have people you care about now?”

“That’s why I used to work alone.” I shrugged. “But yes, the real world always gets in the way. I certainly wouldn’t trade my kingdom for a bowl of pottage. Returning to the matter of the camps and monster hunters, if Eloncio’s information is true, that means that Seneschal Hawkwright is very invested in this little project of his.” I waved a hand. “So, it’s time for us to stop caring about it.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Including all of the monsters that they’re going to send to stampede over Lady’s Port and flatten it into the ground?”

I folded my hands beneath my chin. “If you could defeat the villain or save yourself, which would you choose?”

“Wh—the villain, of course, but you’re not the one who—”

“The trick about arranging the board,” I said, “is that any piece can be the King. Even if what your opponent thinks is your king is just another sacrificial pawn.” I took in Electra’s aghast expression and laughed. “Not Lady’s Port, moron. No, you’ve rubbed off on me too much for that.” My smile deepened. “But I told you, didn’t I? All the times I appeared just to get you and the rest of Aegis to look at me, while my minions did the real work in the background.”

She blinked at me for a moment, before groaning. “We already played bait, Em.”

“And it turned out so well, the first time.”

She grimaced, rubbing her hand against her neck. “Yeah.” Her voice came thick with an emotion I couldn’t identify. “I guess you could say that.” Before I could say anything, she met my eyes again. “What was it you said,” she asked, “don’t care?”

I gave a wan smile. “Don’t care, and least of all about yourself.” I leaned in, cupping a hand around my mouth. “You want to know a secret?”

Electra nodded.

“That’s why most villains fail while I succeed. They care too much about themselves, the only thing they cannot surrender.” I showed my teeth. “And that’s why no one can imagine, even for a second, that I might.”

She blinked, eyes fluttering in surprise. She shouldn’t have been so shocked. It was the same trick I’d pulled on the adventurer’s guild, and even then, that was far from the first time I’d ‘sacrificed’ myself.

It was just the first time I’d done so, relying entirely on someone else. Relying on Relia.

Then a heavy knock came to the door of the tavern, and for a moment I thought Dee and Dum had finally made it back, before it was shoved open. A group of men wearing familiar tarnished armbands filtered into the room.

I laughed. “Arlo!” I raised my mug of water. “What perfect timing, we were just talking about you.”

It was a lie, of course, except in the way that mattered most.