Chapter 21: A Computer is Just a Rock People Tricked into Believing it Could Think

“They hurt people.”

“Yes.” I nodded at Electra’s words. “More importantly, they fucked with me.”

The blond raised an eyebrow. “I feel like you’re missing the point here.”

“You’re the one who’s playing dress up.” I shrugged. “Wasn’t this world supposed to be some fun fantasy light novel romp?”

She grimaced. “Yeah, well…”

“Yeah,” I said. “Well.”

Electra glanced off to the side, not saying anything. I leaned back against the wall of my little warehouse. Things were moving again; off by the far wall, the sound of hammering emanated from my forge. We’d figured out steel, making nooks in the wall of the forge for the process. The problem was heat. The forge and warehouse were both made from weathered stone and clay bricks, and I was churning out cheap steel weapons nearly as fast as my people could haul up metal from my demons on the coast.

Really, it was only a matter of time until something cracked.

“I was wrong.”

I blinked, turning back towards the hero. “What was that?” I felt a smirk tugging at the corner of my lips, but I held it back.

It was unbecoming for a villain to gloat before she won.

Electra ran a hand through her spiky blonde hair. “Thought this would just be an adventure, you know? We’d get our protagonist cheats, beat some demon king, and make it home just in time to enjoy retirement with a bunch of cute…”

I raised an eyebrow. “A bunch of cute what now?” Electra’s cheeks reddened. “Actually, on second thought, don’t tell me. I don’t think my opinion of you can go any lower.”

She snorted. “Says the girl who’s already gotten her first waifu.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“Um, Rel? She cleans up pretty nice, doesn’t she.” Electra chuckled. “Though, I gotta admit, I didn’t think that scruffy little girl would turn into the loyal kuudere type.”

I blinked. “You knew she was a girl?”

Electra blinked. “It was obvious?” She shrugged. “Delicate features, timid, one of the first encounters, and followed you around like a puppy?” She paused, narrowing her eyes at me. “Wait, you didn’t figure it out?”

I crossed my arms. “I feel like we have more important things to talk about.”

“You didn’t know!” Electra laughed. “Oh man, and here you were going on and on about how you had it all figured out and you didn’t even notice?” She snickered at my glare. “Did she end up telling you that—”

“Please, keep talking.” I flexed my fingers, dark crackling in the palm of my hand. “Just let it all out, you know, before I take your mouth away.”

“Woah, woah!” Electra waved her hands in front of her. “Don’t go throwing around magic you don’t understand.”

I shook my hand out, dismissing the spell. “Oh believe me, I know exactly what that one does.”

Her eyes flicked to the side. “What does it do?”

“Turns someone into a demon.” I reached out, combing my hand through Blue’s mane. I’d given him the mental command to hide after we’d been attacked, and since then he’d never strayed far from my side. “How do you think I got this good boy?” Blue let loose a rumbling purr.

“H-he was a person?!”

I waved a hand. “He was a gang leader who threatened to kill and rape me, potentially in that order. You’ll forgive me if I chose to defend myself instead.”

Electra paused. “Oh…”

“Yes, oh.” I rolled my eyes. “And here you were saying you’d figured out that this world wasn’t just some story where you were the main character.”

She let out a low breath. “Yeah, sorry, it’s just…” She shrugged. “You know how it is. I think I had to go through like, half a year of force and restraint training before I was even let out on patrol.” She shot me a wary glance. “Please don’t demonify me though?”

“Demonitize.”

“What, really?”

“You expected anything else?” I sighed. “Besides, it’s not like I have the mana to finish the spell.” I looked over to my forge, where my two foundry imps were hammering away. “Each demon I have takes mana to maintain. Right now, I’m barely breaking even, and that’s after dumping all of my stat points into attunement and soul.”

“Really? And here I thought you had the real cheat skill.”

I shrugged. “It turns out I have a soft cap. Which is why I’ll be relying on you for this next bit.”

“Right.” Electra crossed her arms, digging her heels into the dirt floor. “The guild. What do you have planned?”

“They’ll be expecting me to do something.” I gave a wan smile. “So I’m going to be a good little cog in the machine, making their weapons and staying down here in the dirt where I belong.” No matter how much it stung. “I want you to join the guild.”

She grimaced. “I don’t… think that will work out.”

My head snapped up. “What?”

Electra shrugged helplessly. “C’mon Em’. I’m not good at the whole infiltration thing. If I end up joining the guild, I’ll probably end up fighting my whole team because they decided to extort some village.” An ugly frown passed over her face at that.

I decided that I probably didn’t want to know. “You’re not… that bad?”

“You called me ‘as subtle as a thunder clap’ on national television.”

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

I paused, finger raised, before I lowered it. It only took me a second to remember what she was talking about.

To be fair, I’d also only taken over a national television station the one time.

“They were still recording?”

Electra nodded. “Got the whole thing, including the part where you threw me through the weather map.”

“Right into the Hurricane Ivanka.” I licked my lips. “Where you promptly overloaded the whole studio.”

“Woulda been a good idea too, if I hadn’t knocked all the dumb lights out.” She frowned, crossing her arms. “Then you got away in the dark before the rest of my team could show up. You know, after you finished… whatever nefarious thing you’d been doing.”

Well, what I’d been doing was seeding worms into a couple of banks (and maybe a bit of the stock market) while I made a fool of myself on national television. But it wasn’t like I was going to tell her that. Imperial Investments Ltd. was still making money.

Instead, I patted her on the shoulder. “You couldn’t have known I had a night vision visor.”

She gave me a withering look. “Techies always have night vision.”

Well, she wasn’t wrong.

Electra groaned at the memory. “The internet still calls me ‘Thunderclap Barbie’, you know!”

“Ouch.” I coughed into my fist. “So, I guess that means you starting up a rival gang isn’t in the cards either?”

Electra sighed, before straightening up again. “I mean, I don’t even know how you managed to make a gang so quickly.”

I quirked my lip. “More easily that you’d think.” I waved off her questioning look. “Okay, then I have an idea, just…” I glanced to the side. “Well, some people aren’t going to like it.”

Electra grinned. “Worried about someone’s feelings?”

“Certainly not yours.”

She just laughed, pushing me on the shoulder. “Whatever, Em’. Just go get it cleared with your waifu so you can tell me what the plan is.”

“You’re the type of person who listens to anime girl sounds over EDM, aren’t you.”

“Guilty!”

I grunted, stepping out of her annoying long reach. “Just don’t break anything while I figure out what we’re doing.” I took a step towards my little alcove, when Electra cleared her throat. “What?”

She cast an eye towards my little generator in the corner. “Think I could, you know, get some spare volts?”

I cocked an eyebrow. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

“You know what I mean.” She socked me in the shoulder. “I’ve been running on zero electricity since we fried c’thalamari.”

“Hmm, I don’t know. Last time I offered, someone decided she’d rather run across the island on her own with her new cheat protagonist powers.”

At least she had the grace to look bashful. “C’mon, Empress, cut a girl some slack?”

“Tell you what.” I tapped her crude breastplate. “Be a good girl, and maybe I’ll let you play with my toys.” Then I spun, leaving her standing in the middle of the room. “Go socialize with my ‘gang’ instead. If a single gear on my generator is out of place when I’m finished, I’ll know.”

She huffed, but a second later I heard her open the side door and step out into the street outside.

For my part, I pushed open the door to my ‘room’ where Rel was lying on my bed. “How are you feeling?”

She gave a weak smile. “Better.”

When I’d first checked Rel over a day ago, she’d seemed fine, but some of the bastards from the guild had kicked her a few times in the stomach before they got bored and moved onto giving Dee and Dum another set of matching bruises. The boys were fine, and were itching for revenge almost as much as I was.

But Rel had started to show signs of internal bleeding. Back on earth I had my Reaves Corp automated surgery robot for that sort of thing. Here, I’d blown through a chunk of funds on a mid-grade healing potion, threatened an apothecary within an inch of his life for instructions how to use it, and… well, let’s just say that draining things by hand is never fun.

I’ll spare you the gory details.

I sat down on the corner of the bed, squeezing her wrist. “That’s good to hear.” I let out a sigh. “I let you get hurt.” Not even a week after I’d promised to keep her safe.

Rel just smiled. “You’ve done more for me than anyone else in this city, Lady Via.”

I blew out a breath. “Just another sign of how much work I have left to do.” I let go of her wrist, standing up. “We’ll get even with them, don’t worry.”

A complicated expression flickered across Rel’s face. “You and that… Electra?”

I nodded. “Yes, I have a plan, but I’ll need you to do something for me. If you agree, we’re going to have to double down on the ‘angered gang leader angle.’ I’m going to pretend to replace you and leave you out in the cold. Hopefully, the guild will bite. And when they do, I want you to give away the farm.”

She blinked. “Give away… what now?”

“Sorry.” I shook my head. “I’m distracted, too many different things pulling my attention. I mean, when they offer you the chance to take over my little ‘empire’ for them, you’re going to accept.”

“W-what?”

I leaned over, taking her hand in mind. “Do you understand, Rel? It’s going to be a bit of a show, a bit of a song and dance, where I act like Electra is everything I want in a second in command. And then I need you to ‘betray’ me for it.”

She nodded slowly, working out the pieces in her head. I wasn’t sure if it was part of her class or based off where she’d put her own stat points, but Rel had grown much more contemplative over the past few weeks, much more easily able to follow my plans.

“You’re going to treat me like dirt.”

I frowned. “If this plan of mine is going to work, I’ll have to. I’m breaking my promise again. And I’m sorry.”

She nodded again. “Why me?”

I let out a soft breath. “Because I’ll be putting a knife at my back, and wrapping someone’s fingers around the hilt. You’re the only person I trust not to stab me.”

Rel looked at me, really looked, eyes flashing in the low light. I was taking a gamble here, and I knew it. But I was willing to bet her desire to get even would tip the scales in my favor.

After a moment, Rel huffed, slumping in the bed. But she didn’t let go of my hand. “I don’t like her.”

I laughed. “That’s fine. I don’t really like Electra either.”

She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. “You acted like you were her friend. With all of that… stuff.”

“You could hear us, huh?” I shook my head. “We were enemies before. Now… we’re just the only two people from our world. It gets hard, not talking about all the little things we used to take for granted.”

“Like… the internet?”

“Yeah. Like the internet.” I shook my head. “It’s just, there are all these things that have no crossover, no basis, no frame of reference between this world and our own.”

Rel hummed looking down at her hands. After a moment, she nodded. “Okay, I’ll do it. On one condition.”

I blinked. “Name it.” Now, where had the nervous cobbler’s apprentice gone and come back a confident woman of all things?

“I want you to explain the internet to me.”

“Explain the…” I started to shake my head, but her expression was serious. I took a deep breath. “Right well. The internet is… where even to start? Computers I guess.” I laughed. “The closest comparison I could make to a computer in this world would be the system, but computers don’t affect reality directly, instead, they do things for us, like thinking, communication, chess, do you have chess here? Nevermind, it’s not important.

“The internet on the other hand is all of the connected computers in the entire world. And we do have a lot of computers. They’re just rocks after all, and metal.” I smirked. “Rocks we tricked into believing they could think.”

Rel blinked wordlessly.

“But in practice, the internet is nothing more or less than the sum total of all current human knowledge on my world, stored in the cloud, in server farms, in your pocket, and nowhere at all. Accessible from anywhere, to anyone. But it’s more than that, it’s impossible to comprehend if you haven’t seen it, even today things still happen, advances are still made that blow my mind.

“People having conversations with hundreds of people all over the world all at once, live streams, sensation captures, insta-thots, Tru-VR, bitcoin, bell buttons, millions upon billions of exabytes of data, growing with every second. It’s—I have nothing in this world to compare it to, no frame of reference at all, it’s—”

I stopped, as it hit me like a bolt of lightning.

“It’s an out of context problem.”

I stood.

“… Lady Via?”

“Of course! How could I be so stupid.” I started pacing rapidly. “Here I was trying to jumpstart the industrial revolution, like it would get me any closer to my goals as long as I left the status quo intact. Of course there’s rank protectionism. Even if they don’t understand what I’m doing, they can still see the impacts, extrapolate the effects, clamp down on things they don’t want. Feudalism at its finest amiright?”

I grinned. “I have to give them something they have no idea how to react to. A complete, out of context problem.”

I turned back to Rel, holding out my hand. “Forget explaining the internet, Relia. If you help me with this, I’ll show it to you.”

Her eyes were wide, lips slightly parted, as if surprised by my tirade. I guess I’d gone more than a bit off the rails there.

But she still grasped my hand without a second’s thought.